I just want to say a few things that's been on my mind for the past two weeks

I was thinking the other day and i realized something. When i started this "series" i was 14 years old. I was a freshman in high school and now I'm a junior and i SHIT TON has changed. I used to have multiple close friends like Jessy, Ashley, Ally, and Harleigh. I lived with my grampa because my mom worked so much so when i did want to update the first book in this series i would have to wait till the next day to update it and write it in the middle of the night so no one would find out that i had a phone. (I snuck it) And its weird because i had everything that i wanted before i moved in with my grampa. Amazing friends, supporting family, everyone at school liked me, literally everything i wanted back when i lived with my dad...but i never realized that until now. My best friend Jessy was awesome and he taught me a lot when it came to problems and how to fix them, Ashley and Ally were the two friends i could goof off with, and harleigh was the one i could tell anything to and know she wouldn't tell anyone (but i only told her things that i couldn't tell Jessy, other than that he knew everything)I had all that, yet i was still depressed and considering suicide. If you've read other chapters and my other books then you know what happened with that. I went to a mental hospital and when i got out i wasn't okay but i said i was so i could hurry up and get out of that place. I depended on Jessy A LOT and he held me up for a really long time but when soph-more year started he kinda stopped talking to me as much and we talked quite often but there were specific things that we used to do that we didn't anymore. (if that makes sense) And now this year he doesn't even acknowledge me when i try to talk to him. ANYWAY I'm getting off the subject. Like i said, i had all that, everything that i always wished for since 5th grade and i was still depressed. I was depressed because my dad never really talked to me and wasn't in my life all that often. I was depressed because i get WAY TOO ATTACHED to people and i was always afraid Jessy would walk out on me. And i did everything i did to try and get them to stay near and it didn't really work with my dad (and if you read my stories then you know it did with Jessy up until this year) I don't know why I'm writing this honestly, lol i actually had a plan of what i was gonna say and everything but now that I'm writing it i just started writing whatever came to mind. If you're going through anything, just try not to focus on just the bad that's going on around you. If you look really hard you can find some good that's there and that'll help you get through whatever it is you're going through as long as you hold on to that little bit of good. I wish someone would have told me that when i was going through all that, and if they would have i would still have everything that i used to. But everything happens for a reason and hopefully the reason was good :)

Here are a few songs that I've been listening to lately

https://youtu.be/CIbH2M-JdlI

Bebe Rexha- F.F.F. (ft. G-Eazy) [Audio]

By the way F.F.F. stands for fuck fake friends

https://youtu.be/_6lzFl2XUeM

Snakeships & MO- Don't Leave

https://youtu.be/Xn599R0ZBwg

Lady Gaga- Perfect Illusion

Alright that's it, and i know i keep saying this but i think i might start publishing more often. Hopefully i have enough time and internet, we're in the process of moving so we'll see

Thanks for reading & always remember to Stay Strong

Till Next Time...

-R