Chapter 9

It's been four days since the party and I've been trying to avoid him. I can't get him out of my head.

No matter how hard I try, no matter what what I do, no matter where I go or who I hang out with.

I can't shake him. That impossibly cute kid with the afro is still in my mind.

I huff, annoyed with myself. I've never been this connected to anyone, any guy. Why am I letting my feelings control me? I know I'm not that kind of girl at all.

My dad never found out about the party, which is a huge relief. Yani hasn't stuck her nosy head in my business and I haven't complained.

Since Monday, people have been seeing a change in me. They realize I'm different somehow and they're right.

"I don't know. Whatever you want us to be."

How could he say that? Did he ever even care? He made me feel like I was just a desperate girl chasing after him.

What if I am?

Yes, I like him a lot but I don't want to come across as desperate.

Maybe I should keep my distance. Or maybe he never wanted to be anything more than friends. That kiss. A lot.

I slide a hand through my sweaty hair frustratedly. I look around.

The gym might have been empty for a while but I wasn't even aware. I've been to engulfed in my thoughts.

I can't escape them. I think about him during the day, dream about him at night.

Something is seriously wrong with me. I've been so caged off, I haven't even told Cera how I felt. And she's the person I trust the most.

To try to take my mind off of things, I've been exercising and running more than usual. Even after practice today, I'm here at the gym. I have a meet tomorrow and I only hope I won't be too sore to run. I'm almost certain I'm working myself too hard, in a failed attempt to forget about him.

I just can't.

I glance at the clock on the wall. 10:12.

"Shit," I murmur. I should have been home at nine. My mom's most likely freaking out.

My father traveled to Florida visit my aunt and uncle earlier today when I was in school. I love him, but I think we all needed a break from him.

Maybe his strict self will go to Disney World and he can learn the meaning of the term 'chill.' Because Lord knows he needs to.

I sigh and wipe my wet face with my towel and sling it over my shoulder.

I grab my empty water bottle and the house keys, and head to the gym exit.

I run into someone's back and fall on my butt.

Can't people just watch where they're going?!

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to- Aniko?" I remember that voice.

I raise my eyes up to meet the man's. It's Jackie.

"In the flesh." I reply.

He gives me a smile and I grab onto his hand. He pulls me up.

"What are you doing here?" He asks.

"I was working out. I was just leaving," I reply.

"Okay. Wait! Michael told me to tell you something.. It was, he wants to talk to you, and he doesn't like being avoided."

I purse my lips together. So he noticed. I'm not totally invisible to him.

So why do I feel tears coming on? Because I want to be his girlfriend so badly?

God, I've never given a guy a second thought except for him. I've never even had a serious boyfriend. Why the hell do I care so much?

I nod slowly and look up at Jackie again. "Thanks for the message. I'll see you around." And with that I walk around him and out into the night.

"Aniko! It's late, will you be okay? I can drive you home." He offers quickly.

I turn around to him and pull up an eyebrow slightly. "I'll be okay, thanks."

"But are you sure? I want you to be safe. There are some dangerous people that could be lurking around and.." He gestures to me.

I look down at my attire. A sports bra and athletic tights. I blow air through my mouth.

I dare someone to try me today.

"I thought you were going to exercise?" I ask him.

He gives me a confused look. "What?"

I point to the building in front of us. "Jackie, people come to the gym to work out. You know? Isn't that what you were going to do?"

"Oh! Right, but I can't drop you off at your house and come back. It isn't a big deal." He explains.

I eye him. "Uh huh." I have a feeling he did not plan to exercise tonight.

"Cool, let's go." He replies and I follow behind him to his black BMW E-12.

I climb inside and buckle up. "Nice car," I compliment.

He starts the car and we head down the street. "Thanks."

I fiddle with the key chain as the ride with quiet, and a little awkward.

"Have you and Michael talked lately?" Jackie asks.

I shake my head. "No."

"Y'all should talk-"

"Why do you care?" I interrupt his sentence.

He clears his throat. "Because I don't think I've ever seen my baby brother so upset before. He won't talk to us unless we pry some type of response from him. He doesn't even sing anymore. And he always sings. I don't like seeing Michael like that and I know it's because of you."

I sigh and move my gaze to the window. The stars are out tonight, brighter than normal. My mind wanders back to the night I spent with him at the park.

When we shared our first kiss.

The rest of the ride is silent. A couple minutes pass and Jackie stops in front of my house.

"Thanks for the ride." I push the door open.

"You're welcome. And hey, remember what I said. Think about Michael." He says, laying a hand delicately on my forearm.

Oh buddy. You have no idea how much I already do.

I nod and shut the car door, walking up the steps. I know that my mom's scolding is in store for me.

Instead, I find myself surprisingly wrong.

My mother walks up to me. "Where have you been?" She demands with a stern voice.

"You know what? Nevermind that. Cera's here."

I frown. "What?"

"She's in your room and worried. All of us are worried about you. If you won't talk to me, then tell her what's wrong."

I sigh for the millionth time that evening and slowly ascend the stairs.

I push open my door to see Cera sitting on my bed. She doesn't look elated.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" She snaps.

"What are you talking about?" I'm taken aback by her tone.

"Why are you worrying all of us? Why are you acting like this? Is it because of Michael?"

One mention of his name and my heart aches. I cast my eyes down and sit on the bed.

"I'm so hung up on him. I've never thought about anyone this much." I whisper.

Cer scoots closer to me and gives me a warm embrace.

"You don't deserve to be put through this pain." She says.

"Why can't he just want me like I want him?" I ask disappointedly.

"I have a feeling he does. Tell you what. We'll relax, kick ass tomorrow in the track meet, and see how things play out. If you two being together is meant to be, then it will happen. I know it."

I look at her. "What the hell would I do without you?"

She smirks. "Nothin'."

We hug again and talk for a while before she heads home.

I get ready for bed, switching off all the lights.

"If its meant to be, it will happen." I whisper before sleep takes me.

-

Cera and I grab our sports duffles from the trunk of her car and we make our way to the track.

"First meet of the season! How you feelin' Day?"

"Pretty good," I giggle as we enter the stadium. People have already started filling up.

Other schools have arrived and we walk over to Coach Tate.

I honestly feel good. Focused, and not on him.

All the runners finally arrive a few minutes later and we have our group meeting before some of us start warming up.

As Cera and I jog around the curve, I spot Michael.

Oh, damn.

Come on focus. Stay with me. Don't leave me now.

"Hey, Mike's here. Is he with.. holy shit, is he with Angela?"

Sure enough, I see the two of them sitting in the stands, her head resting against his shoulder and his arm around her.

Did I miss something here?

He doesn't seem so 'upset' to me, Jackie.

I huff out a breath. Everything's going perfect.

Don't let the name deceive you. She's far from an angel. She's like a whore, only she's too scared to actually sleep around.

I roll my eyes just thinking about her as we pass another set of bleachers.

"If he's wants to be all snuggled up with her, then fine." I shrug as we finish our warm-up lap.

"I'll just show him exactly what he's missing out on."

Cera looks at me. "I know that look! It's your 'I'm about to tear this track up' look!"

I smirk at her over my shoulder.

"Ready to kick ass?"

--

Chapter 9

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~Joy ✌🏼️