angiexvi

1. My opinions on the title, cover and blurb:

The title works, I guess. I thought of suggesting to shorten it to Chadom, but then it didn't have quite the same ring. Anyways, it's a little plain, and doesn't really do much attention-grabbing, but it's decent. 

Love the cover. LOOOVE IT. The neon glow of the streets and the signs and then some creepy white figure there. Author's name is clear, that's good. 

The first paragraph of the blurb feels... incomplete. Is it 'by 2030' or 'in 2030'? Is it 'Earth's collapse' or 'the Earth's collapse'? Hope for humanity vanishes until the discovery of a new planet, ending the sentence there feels a little strange, I'd suggest adding more details, like how far is it from Earth, or something special about the planet that makes it inhabitable, or simply just putting Chadom there. Also, I'm not sure if this is a Wattpad glitch but why is there the word Chadom at the end of the paragraph?

And the second paragraph, I think you should have 1,000 years written as 'a thousand years'. And I feel like I'm being overly literal because my English listening homework is overdue, but one thousand years later, a sixteen-year old girl is born? Try repeating that sentence again. My brain is a bit off this week and I don't want to comment on something that sounds logical just because the electrified piece of meat in my head is going haywire. 

I feel like the rest of the blurb doesn't get into the meat of things (is that even a real expression pls send help I have English class tomorrow). The conflict presented is that Sapphire suspects something is off about Chadom's history, and begins to snoop. Gremie (how do you pronounce that, by the way? Greh-mee? Gree-mee?) promises her to help raise her class and get her into a better city to stop her from snooping. I'm not sure how to say this but I don't really see a hook, the premise in the blurb so far doesn't really work to interest me to read further as an average reader. Maybe you can try telling a little more of how Sapphire snoops, or what sparks her to question Chadom's history. 

2. What I understood from the story so far:

Planet Earth explodes. Fiona, Liam, Al, Gremon fly away on a spaceship. After some time, a new planet is somehow crafted, and the astronauts settle there and build a new society off of their old ones, even founding their own religion. The planet is Chadom. 

Ten-year old Sapphire plays hide-and-seek with her brother Reff. Sapphire is afraid of the marching people because she's seen them hit kids who stayed out past curfew. As she watches them arrest people, Reff tells her that he's going to get their family out of the city. Then the soldiers (there was no specified term for the synchronised marching people) force their parents and older brother Jeff out of the house. They shoot Jeff and burn down the house. 

Some years later, the family is in Sundown, a machinery-producing city. Reff joins the military and becomes a violent and twisted version of himself. 

The second chapter gives more insight into the daily lives of regular Chadomians, heavily controlled by the government, whether it was food or entertainment or daily house searches. Reff still has his dream of moving into a better city, as it turns out the government burns down an underperforming city every six years, the last one being their home city Penlock. 

Sapphire writes in her journal and goes to sleep. 

3. What I thought of the characters:

There wasn't much for me to go on since there were only two chapters and a prologue, one of the chapters being a backstory. 

I don't have much to say about Sapphire, I honestly haven't seen much of her character to note anything. She comes off as a regular kid in Chadom, I guess. She reminds me of Princess Anastasia in The Plan, with her head always in the clouds. 

I did appreciate Reff's character consistency, though. He wanted to get everyone out of the city as a kid and even as a violent soldier, he still holds on to his childhood dream. 

Also Rus, typical stubborn old dad who does mini illegal things because he can lol. 

4. Nitpicks and personal opinions (this will include spelling and grammar):

The worldbuilding is understandable and decent, I get the basic rules of Chadom and how society is controlled with an iron fist. The destruction of Penlock was shocking, no doubt, and the fact that they killed Jeff made me go 'whaaaaat'.

There were some strange phrases throughout the story, like:

- She put her noodles in the fridge, entering the scent of spoiled milk. 

- Rus used under the table to store construction materials. 

Hey, great to see you back here in the review shop! I'm really sorry this was super short, I really didn't have much to go on as the story is just beginning. Wishing you all the best on the rest of the story!