I walked into the dining room where everybody had come out to eat breakfast. I knew George and Jimmy were there. But I couldn't bring myself to look up.

"Deej," Jeena was sitting next to me. "What's the matter?"

I bit my lip trying not to cry again.

I eventually stood up and walked out. Nobody tried to stop me, but I was more than okay with that.

I was standing outside of George and I's bedroom. I wasn't sure if I should go in there or not. But then again, all of my stuff is in there.

I walked in and found the bed unmade, as expected.

His guitar was out, and I remembered how much trouble I had falling asleep because I didn't get to hear his pretty voice that night.

What frightened me the most was seeing his notebook out on the table.

I didn't dare open it.

I found the broach on my night stand. I picked it up slowly, and admired it some more.

Eventually I got up to find something to wear for the day, and put the broach on my sweater. It sparkled in the sunlight that was shining through the window. I stood there for a few minutes, feeling the slight warmth on my face, when I heard a floorboard creak.

I turned around, and saw George in the doorway.

There was a pit in my stomach, and it hurt.

We both had one of the longest staring contests I think I've ever had.

"George..." I said.

I took a step forward, but he shook his head and walked away.

I sat onto the bed and held my face in my hands. I didn't cry, I just... sat there.

There was a knock on the wall as a warning somebody was there. "What happened?"

"What?" I asked, then realizing how dumb the question was.

"What do you mean what? George is completely out of it. Now you better start talking."

I stayed silent again.

"Oh no." Jeena sat next to me.

A few tears slipped out but I didn't let myself cry anymore. "Jeena, I'm serious when I tell you this: you cannot tell anybody what I'm about to say. I don't want to start drama."

She nodded. "Yeah yeah whatever."

I frowned. "Your brother kissed me last night."

"What?!" She jumped up.

"Shh!" I say her back down.

"What in the world happened?" She asked frantically.

"He took advantage of me I guess." I got flustered.

"That little shitface." She hissed. "And George saw? Why didn't you do anything?"

"Yes. Jeena, your brother is much stronger than me. And he's taller." I said.

"Why exactly do you want me to say nothing about this?" She asked.

"Because I don't want to cause trouble. And I'm just... embarrassed."

"For what?"

"For being a little bitch and not doing anything about it."

She shook her head. "I'm sure this is scary. But you'll have to tell him at some point. Or else I will."

"No!" I yelled. "Please. I'll never forgive myself if you were the one who had to tell George what happened."

"Then you figure out how to tell him yourself." She hugged me again. "I'm so sorry he did this again DJ. We're gonna have to do something with him."

I wrapped my arms around my torso. "I just want George to hug me and tell me he still loves me. Because I don't know if he does. I don't know what we are anymore."

"He loves you Deej. He's probably just confused right now. Especially since he's never fully trusted my brother." She said.

I shivered. "Where do I sleep?"

"In here obviously." She said. "You did nothing wrong, you get the bed."

I wanted to disagree. I did, but I didn't say it out loud. I wanted it to be Christmas already, because I wanted to just have fun. Have a good laugh, eat a ton of food.

Kiss George under the mistletoe...

"I'm gonna go back out there- hey, don't look at me like that. I won't say anything," she stood up and walked to the door. "For now..."

I sat on the bed for a while, staring out the window. I lied down and started to fall asleep. The day hasn't even gotten good yet, and somehow I was still tired.

I had a horrible dream, though.

I of course had the courage to talk to him in it. George, I mean.

I tried to tell him what happened, but he just held his hand up and said. "I don't wanna hear it. I saw enough."

"But George." I trembled. "You have to believe me-"

"Tell me why? Are you gonna tell me things weren't getting steamy between you and Jeena's brother?"

I gave up. I looked down at the floor and saw his shadow disappear as he walked away.

Then everybody else turned on me. Jeena started becoming distant, and my parents found out because she told them. But whatever she said was not what I had told her while I was awake.

When I did open my eyes, it was a little darker outside. Not enough where it was late in the evening, but the sun was no longer shining into the window.

I sat up and waited for my head to clear. I was a little dizzy, and my pulse was racing.

When I was about to exit the bedroom to go look for somebody, I hesitated. I was afraid I'd run into George. Then I laughed at myself. Why on earth am I acting like I'm afraid of him?

I swung the door open and gasped when I saw my mom on the other side. "I was just coming to check on you. You've been gone for a while."

"Sorry," I said. "I was napping."

"Oh, okay." She said. "All of us are going to go to the gondolas, I was seeing if you wanted to join us."

"Yeah, sure. Let me just get my boots on." I said. Maybe getting out into some fresh air would help clear my mind. I didn't mind that it was cold. As long as I got to take my mind away from my worries.