Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: Angst, mentions of drinking, mentions of sex??

Prompt:

"We're still friends, right?"

Summary: You and Tom have had an unspoken thing for the past few months but while Tom decides he wants to take things to the next step, you have other plans

Tom looked over himself in the mirror, straightening out his button-down shirt. It wasn't too fancy and it wasn't too casual either. It seemed to be perfect for the night he had planned. And he had his hair gelled the way you liked it, his unruly eyebrow still on display but he smiled, he smiled because he's nervous but also the most excited he's been in ages.

You and Tom met through mutual friends forever ago and quickly clicked. A simple friendship of seeing each other at parties lead to a deeper friendship with late-night calls and Facetimes that lasted hours. Before either of you knew it, you were both falling hard and on one fateful night, you'd both been drunk and confessed your seemingly outlandish feelings for each other. To say you were happy wouldn't even come close but, the next morning came and with sober minds, you both had decided to keep it simple. No relationship. Life was too hectic for the both of you at the time so why add another complication?

So, that's how it's been. You hook up and act like a couple but without the label and Tom adores you and he's been having fun, but life is slowing down and he wants the next step. That's what the night is supposed to be about. He could swear you'd agree to move forward and have a real relationship but there is that chance you'll say no and that part terrifies him.

Tom's leg bounced up and down repeatedly as he sat at the table in the restaurant, waiting for you. His palms grew cold and clammy with each passing second. He got there ten minutes early just to make sure he'd be on time but now he's slightly regretting it, knowing it's only made him more nervous. He just wants you to say yes or even just think about it. As long as you don't say no, that's his main thought at the moment. Anything besides no.

Lucky for Tom, he didn't have to wait much longer before you arrived in nice pleated pants with a matching top. You looked as lovely as ever causing Tom's stomach to just turn with butterflies. A smile split his face as he watched you approach the table and his legs felt like jelly as he got up to pull out your seat. He swears he's never been so nervous about anything in his life.

"Hello, darling." Tom chimes as he takes his seat across from you.

"Hey, Tom." You smile back.

Tom's heart pounds like a bass drum in a cathedral hall. Hard, loud, and resilient. He can barely hear himself think and he knows he should wait to ask. He knows he shouldn't just blurt out the question. Dinner should be served and it should be like any other date but Tom is a terrible liar and he has a tell. Plus, with the constant pounding, there's no way in hell he'd make it through dinner without passing out.

"I, um, wanted to ask you something." Tom says, biting his lip.

"Okay." Your heart sinks as you fear what he could possibly ask.

"Well, we've been doing this," Tom points a finger between the two of you. "For months now and you've finished uni, I've gotten settled, seems like things have slowed a bit so, I was hoping maybe you'd want to make it official?" Tom's eyes scan everywhere besides your face as he asks the question. "And....and maybe move in...if you wanted."

Your heart stopped right in your throat as you looked at the boy with eyes beautiful as an autumn forest and a heart as big as the Milky Way. You can see the pure love and adornment he has for you. It's right there and you love and adore him, too. You'd be damned if you didn't but sometimes, that's not enough.

You didn't come to dinner with him tonight to make things official. You came to cut things off but not because he did anything. Not because there's someone else. There's justsomething else. Something bigger than the both of you. It's something you know Tom will understand but his eyes are so wide and hopeful and you know him better than your favorite movie. He was nervous and still is and now you have to crush him.

"Tom," You sigh and reach a hand across the table, resting it on top of his. "I'm sorry." Your voice cracks as you shake your head.

"Oh." Tom says and the butterflies he once felt seemed to immediately die. Gone. Poof. Instead, they're replaced by a thousand wasps, stabbing his stomach and throat with pain, pain that makes him want to cry but he doesn't. He just stays quiet.

Tom shook your hand free, resting it his lap. "I-I'm...Tom, I...I'm moving." You admit, brows furrowed with guilt and regret.

Tom nods, swallowing the lump in his throat. "Oh." He repeats.

"It's just, I got a call a few days ago." You start to explain. "A spot opened up and...it's the dream, ya know? I've wanted this my entire life." You trail off as Tom's head hangs and that one curl that never stays put no matter what he does falls forward. His hand comes up and you know he's wiping his tears. "I have to go."

"I-I know." Tom's broken voice hits your ears and you swore you'd never give up your dream for a boy but Tom makes it tempting. "I get it, yeah. Live your dream, darlin'." Tom manages to choke out and give you a smile, a weak smile. He means it though. He's happy for you but he's sad for him.

"I never told you," You start, sucking in a breath. "But I do love you, more than a friend. You're my best friend, sure but you're more than that. It's just...bad timing."

"Yeah," Tom's voice is just above a whisper. "I love you, too." Tom admits and the rims of his eyes are red as he finally makes eye contact with you. "If it'll make you happy, do it."

You nod a few times while it takes everything in you not to start crying. "We're still friends, right?" You ask and you just need to know you aren't losing him fully.

"Of course." Tom says and he doesn't even hesitate because he loves you. "Just want you to be happy."

A sad smile comes to your face as you fight back a few tears. "I will be."