Two Things!

One: When I said this story was loosely based of the movie, I meant it word for word. If you have seen the movie, you'll realize that apart from Boss-Secretary romance and meeting the family trope, nothing is similar to the movie. And nope, that does not make this any better. I'm quite rusty for not writing for a while and I'm taking this as a practice 'cause I have plans for some good stories after this one. 💃

Two: I have seen that whenever my work pressure is up to my eyeballs, my writing mood strikes. Yeah yeah, I never had a sense of timing.😑

Anyway, thanks to all those Potatoes who are still with me, reading this, and cheering me on! WooHoo! Love ya!

Off with the read now!

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Chapter-3

Xu WeiZhou was a snooty little shit. Well, not that this was a surprise to JingYu, but if he had any shard of doubt before, it was completely gone now. That prick took an early night in just so he could avoid his family and this morning, when JingYu had woken him up, that bastard glared at him as if JingYu had killed his kitten.

"It's 6:30! Six bloody thirty! Why the hell did you wake me?" The little shit snapped at JingYu.

"Because it's morning? And waking up is what normal people do when it's morning?" JingYu suggested mockingly and when WeiZhou could not get back at him with an immediate snipe, he added, "Also, your stomach was singing sad ballads." He shrugged, "I took pity. I'm a kind man." He shrugged again.

"Get out!" WeiZhou yelled in his croaky morning voice, hair sticking out everywhere. "Just go and die somewhere! Disappear from my sight!" He looked like a bedraggled hedgehog.

"I have no problem letting you starve, trust me but Mum's calling for breakfast," JingYu threw with a chuckle and sauntered out of the room. He could hear his boss muttering out, "What did I do to deserve this?"

"I can give you a list," he had replied under his breath.

That was half an hour ago and now the prick was sitting down beside him, with the whole family, looking all prim and proper, eating melon cubes like they were hors d'ouvre, and shooting subtle suspicious glances at JingYu's dad! What the fuck?

He frowned. Without any bias JingYu could say his father was the most guileless, friendly person in the world, and the relatively sanest one in this family too. What the hell is going on in your head? He thought glancing at WeiZhou while gulping down porridge.

"Sorry, it must be difficult for you," JingYu's mother said to WeiZhou and gestured at the foods on the table, "these are all very plain dishes. You must be-"

"Oh, no no no, absolutely not," WeiZhou did not let her finish. "This is actually very good!" He said.

"It is?" JingYu's mother was visibly surprised.

"Yes," WeiZhou nodded enthusiastically, "I mean, I do eat homemade food but we have chefs in our house, so they are not really..." he shrugged.

JingYu's nana gasped out and shook her head. "Rich people wasting money on ridiculous things," she muttered while peeling a banana.

"Oh, Nana, don't say that!" JingYu's older sister tried to shut her up before she spill something more but WeiZhou just laughed good naturedly.

"That's true. It's really a waste when there are only three people in my family."

"Your parents and you?" asked JingYu's grandpa.

"Uh, no, my grandmother, mother and I."

"And your father?" this time it was Nana again.

Although, it was pretty nosy and rude to ask when WeiZhou did not elaborate in the first time, but JingYu's ears perked up. There was a lot of gossip flying around the office regarding WeiZhou's father.

WeiZhou looked at Nana and gave a small smile, "He is no more."

There was a collective "oh" from the ladies at the table while JingYu watched WeiZhou shoving a spoonful of porridge into his mouth.

"Well, we are like a family, too; you are very much welcome here. And here you can have all the home food you want," came from JingYu's dad.

Everyone else nodded, except for them two. While WeiZhou stared at his dad, looking shocked and lost, JingYu bit his lip. He realized something with a jolt. Coming from his kind, quiet father, this was actually the family's blessings for their relationship.

Their very fake relationship.

His heart sank. What would happen when they knew they had been scammed? The amount of hurt he was inflicting upon his family....

"Th- thank you, Mr. Xu. It..really means a lot to me."

JingYu heard his boss say and he sounded so genuinely honest that when JingYu looked at him he saw a matching expression. He stared.

"Eat eat eat. ZhouZhou, eat your fruits! You're like a stick!" And that was, of course, Nana.

"Sorry, what?" WeiZhou asked, looking alarmed.

"Mother has a habit of distorting everyone's name," JingYu's father answered.

"Shush. I do no such thing," Nana said with an air of superiority and grinned at ZhouZhou, "Why, don't you like it? Isn't it cute? ZhouZhou!"

"He he, yeah.....very...yeah," WeiZhou's smile was that of a man who had suddenly discovered his dog was actually a wolf.

JingYu almost spluttered his food, such was his laugh.

XOXOXOX

JingYu was bouncing his youngest nephew, Xiao Qiu, when he saw WeiZhou sitting under the shade, tapping away on his phone like a man possessed. A wicked smile appeared on JingYu.

"Wanna have some fun?" He asked Xiao Qiu who stared at him with round eyes and his head bobbled.

He tip toed so that his presence could not be revealed beforehand, jumped to stand in front of the oblivious man and yelled, "CATCH!"

WeiZhou's entire body jerked as if being electrocuted, jumped off the bench a metre high, threw away his phone to catch whatever JingYu was throwing at him.

Only, JingYu did not throw anything.

WeiZhou sat in that posture, arms stretched, eyes wide in utter shock, mouth hanging open, looking like a scared goldfish.

JingYu burst out in laughter.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Demanded a livid WeiZhou once he grasped exactly what had just happened. His face turned red; a vein began to throb in the middle of his forehead.

"Just checking on your reflex," JingYu grinned.

For a moment it looked like WeiZhou wanted to bring all of JingYu's long dead ancestors to life so that he could kill them again but he checked himself in, looking at Xiao Qiu who was staring back at him with a stunned face. Huge, round eyes unblinking.

"Do not think you can get away with this, you conniving devil!" WeiZhou groused darkly and ran to pick up his phone from the ground.

"Meh," JingYu shrugged, "At least now you know how it feels to be on the other side."

WeiZhou, frantically checking the damage of his phone, did not reply. When he made sure that the device was still running and he had not been cut off from the civilized society entirely, he stomped to where JingYu stood; certainly to continue where he left but JingYu did not give him the chance.

"Hold him, will ya?" he said and practically shoved the bundled baby at WeiZhou's arm, who panicked immediately and held him at arm's length, eyes similarly wide as Xiao Qiu's.

"Wh- what is it?" He stammered, dumbfounded.

"Surely you haven't forgotten how a human baby looks like?" JingYu quipped, "Considering you have seen one before."

He must be too deep into his shock, as instead of snapping, WeiZhou asked, "Why did you give him to me? And how- how do I hold him?" His voice was high pitched with anxiety; eyes locked with the infant who started to chew on his chubby fingers thoughtfully, not even an ounce of discomfort for hanging midair.

JingYu laughed again. Who knew that this prickly know-it-all snob would not know how to hold a baby!

"Put him against your chest and support his head with your shoulder. No no- wait! No! He's not a towel!" JingYu barked when this idiot tried to put the baby on his shoulder. For fuck's sake! "You have to support his bum, yes, like this. Yeah, set him into the crook of your elbow."

WeiZhou's face scrunched up when his inner arm squeezed against the diaper.

"And this hand, put it like this, here," JingYu manoeuvred WeiZhou's right hand to hold Xiao Qiu's back. "Yeah, like this."

WeiZhou stood there, stiff as a plank, face panic stricken, looking at JingYu with a mixture of pleading and threatening.

"Now what?" He asked, not even opening his mouth properly to talk, so still he was.

"Now you hold him."

"But he is- he is so squishy! Like- like a jello! He's going to dribble out of my grip!"

"Make sure that he doesn't," JingYu was having a hard time not to cackle. Dribble out? What kind of numpty this man was?

"But what if he does? Don't you have any care for your own nephews'-" WeiZhou stopped, his face going through some levesl of changes within a blink.

Panic. Frown. Shock. Outrage.

"Is he- is he nibbling on my shoulder?!" WeiZhou exclaimed and turned his back to let JingYu confirm it.

"Yeah, looks like it. And....oh, now he's burping out his food too," he informed.

"What? What food? Oh my god! It's wet! It feels wet!" He held the baby away and tried to look over his own shoulder.

JingYu quickly took Xiao Qiu from him and gave the baby smug smile. You made me proud, Qiu Qiu! Well done!

On the opposite, WeiZhou was spinning around like a dog trying to catch its tail. Then he whirled on JingYu, all red and angry.

"You think it's funny, do you? There is drool, drool on me! And puke! Puke!" His voice went all high pitched and dramatic, "It's Armani!" He gestured at his shirt.

JingYu gave the apparel a once over, "That's a plain white shirt."

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say.

"You wouldn't know even if the any good thing hits you in the face! This costs more than your salary!" WeiZhou said with as much entitled snobbishness as he could find. "Don't ruin something just because you can't afford it!"

"Oh, yeah?" JingYu's temper rose as well. "Well, this just proves how much you underpay your employees. I wouldn't be proud of it if I were-"

And JingYu's sister came running from somewhere. Almost appearing out of thin air.

"I'm so sorry, WeiZhou, I'm really sorry," she apologized with a mortified face. "He didn't mean to. He's really young and can't control his actions and...I'm so sorry. It must be very costly. I can wash it for you. I'll be careful. This is so embarrassing. This is- It will go away after a wash, I promise. Again, I'm so sorry," she said in one go, then turned to her brother, "And why did you let it happen?" She accused, "You know QiuQiu tends to spit out his food after being fed!"

Then she took Xiao Qiu- who was working up an epic tantrum- apologized to WeiZhou again and left.

They two stood there in stunned silence, gazing at the direction she had gone to.

"I- um- I-" WeiZhou tried to start but JingYu beat him to it. His temper was all flared up to the limit now.

"How could you do that?! He is just a baby!" He stood nose to nose with the other man, "I know you look down upon my family. You think we don't deserve to breathe the same air that you do and honestly, I don't give a fuck about it but what kind of special bastard you have to be to accuse an infant?"

"But I did not accuse him! I never meant to!" WeiZhou vehemently protested or tried to but JingYu could not be bothered to listen to his nonsense.

"Do not forget that it was you who needed the help of my family, wanted to socialize with him. So, don't think for a moment that you can parade around and hurt my family's sentiments whenever the mood strikes. And my Jie Jie has had enough suffering of her own; don't even dare to make her feel worse."

They remained in an intense headlock for a while before JingYu stormed past him, too angry to stand the sight of the man.

XOXOXOX

WeiZhou did felt like an arsehole.

When he said his anger was not aimed at the baby, he told the truth. He might be many things but baby accuser was not one of them.

In fact, he was not even angry, not really. He just did not know how to express what he was feeling. Never in his life had a situation like this occurred and in general he was not good with children. So, when he was given a baby and that baby liked him enough to not only accept him but slobbered all over him, he suddenly felt scared. Not knowing how to react to that kind of irrational, unconditional and instant liking, he did the only thing he was good at, he flipped.

In actuality, Qiu Qiu scared the daylights out of him with his bobble head, innocent eyes and gummy smiles.

And therefore, he swallowed his pride, lowered his head and trotted to where JingYu's older sister was.

"I really am sorry. That behaviour was inexcusable." He had already apologized and this lady was so kind that she actually thought WeiZhou was the one wronged by her tiny baby, which made him feel guiltier.

"Stop saying that! You are his uncle too. You can scold him, discipline him whenever you want."

The word "uncle" almost gave WeiZhou a brain aneurysm but he moved on quickly. He didn't have any room for any more mistakes.

"Thank you...um...Jie Jie, for accepting me so warmly," he squeezed out with much difficulty. When she gave him a smitten smile, he added, "So, uh, will you, uh, show me how to hold a baby? I....don't really know how to."

"Awwwww."

XOXOXOX

JingYu was mixing fertilizers and cursing that despicable human nonstop under his breath when his sister came to fetch him.

"Where to?" He asked.

"Hurry up and you'll see."

His sister took him to the front of his house but stopped him before they got down to the shed and then, JingYu saw.

Xu WeiZhou sitting with his knees bunched up, supporting Qiu Qiu's back, holding his small body with his hands.

And talking to him.

Not the usual baby talk people did with babies but as though they were two grown-ups.

"Indeed. I agree that it's not appetizing at all and I should not have blamed you for spitting that out. I would have done the same."

Qiu Qiu cooed at him.

"But I don't think," WeiZhou continued, "it would advisable to share my food with you, considering you don't even have teeth."

As if to validate his statement, Qiu Qiu showed his gums in a sloppy smile.

"Why do you drool so much? Is there a drool tank in you somewhere?" WeiZhou asked in an amused wonder and booped that tiny button nose. Immediately, Qiu QIu opened his mouth and drooled, making WeiZhou laugh. He booped again and again drools came out. And they laughed at each other.

"He is so perfect," JingYu's sister whispered near his ear. JingYu looked down to see she was stifling her smile by pressing a hand over her mouth. She was such a sweet woman. JingYu loved this sister of his more than anyone. "He came to me earlier to say how sorry he was and actually asked me to teach him how to handle babies! Can you imagine? You have picked a perfect person, JingYu."

JingYu stayed quiet and drove his eyes back to the scene happening in front of his eyes.

"......no, I did not really but let me tell you," WeiZhou waved a finger in front of Xiao Qiu who caught it with his grubby hands, "drooling on strangers in not an acceptable behaviour." Qiu Qiu let out a disgruntled sound from the depth of his glottis and WeiZhou hurriedly say "What I mean is, you can drool on me, drown me in your drool tank but when you see a person for the first time, it is not okay to give them a drool bath, you know?"

Qiu Qiu put WeiZhou's finger in his mouth and began to gnaw on it immediately which prompted a shriek out of WeiZhou.

"You are not supposed to chew on other people's fingers, Xiao Qiu! That's like wearing other people's unwashed underwear. That's-" he gave a full body shudder, "gross!" And pulled his finger away. But when the action resulted in Qiu Qiu puffing up his cheeks and jutting out his lower lip, summoning the waterworks, WeiZhou hastily put the baby's finger back to his mouth.

This must have happened for the first time to Qiu Qiu that an adult voluntarily let him suckle on his own fingers as he stared at WeiZhou with wonder.

JingYu's did not even realize when his sister left. He could not take his eyes off of this odd duo of silly buggers in front of him.

"You are actually not half as bad as your uncle!" WeiZhou remarked while pressing those rosy cheeks ever so lightly. When Qiu Qiu giggled aloud, he rolled his eyes and elaborated, "Your other uncle, obviously. At least, you are rational with a functioning brain and have an excellent choice in people whom you deem worthy of drooling on. I quite like you, hmm." He nodded thoughtfully. Qiu Qiu's head bobbled following the motion and he kicked WeiZhou's chest.

Perfect? Thought JingYu.

"But you are very jiggly. Like a water bed. Your entire body goes swoosh swoosh. How do you keep your balance? It must be very hard to be in this uncertain state of half liquefied mass."

JingYu snorted out a silent laugh and turned away to leave. Before going out of the sight, he took one look back. Those two were still chatting, lost in their own weird world.

Perfect. His lips twitched up in a smile.

Just not his perfect...

Right?

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Any thought?😶