Two days have passed since our punishment and today, rather than waking to the noise of a large mirror being pulled across the floor, I find blue eyes staring at me. Casper walks towards me with puppy eyes and a coffee. Every muscle in my body tenses. Even though I just woke up, I'm suddenly very alert.

      I scramble towards the other end of the bed, getting away from him as my pulse already surges. "What did you do?" I accuse.

       Casper chuckles nervously.

       "Oh no," I grumble in anticipation. Casper nervous and trying to buy my forgiveness with coffee? Never a good sign. I'm mentally preparing myself for the worst-case scenario.

       "I may have forgotten to mention that my mom is coming over for supper." He grimaces. "She's going to France with her new lover in the middle of December. She feels terrible about missing Christmas, so we figured we could have and early Christmas supper."

        I relax the tinniest bit and take the cup of steaming coffee. "Okay...When is she coming?" I'm still not quite seeing why he looks so fearful of my reaction. I'm missing something—something major if Casper's anxious appearance is anything to go by.

       "Around 6 o'clock."

      "What?!" I demand. "You mean she's coming tonight?"

        He said she was leaving mid-December, I figured that would give me another week or two before the supper. I've only been here a few days but there's traces of me all over the house. There are shoes in the front entrance that are far too small for Casper and Lawson. There's my favourite brand of coffee next to theirs. There's women clothing in the bathroom hamper, washer and a couple of sweaters across the house for when I get cold. There's insulin in the fridge and glucose meters on the bathroom counter. There are indubitably strands of long hair in just about every inch of the house. There's a Christmas stocking with my name on it for crying out loud! I can't clean that all up in one afternoon... But I'm sure as hell going to try.

        "I've got cleaning to do," I speak to Casper in a panic. I roll out of bed, careful not to spill my coffee and shove my feet into my slippers. "I've got to get out of here."

        I'm in the kitchen by the time Casper catches up. In my free hand, I already have two sweaters, a pink blanket and a phone charger, that I picked up on my way to the kitchen. I scan the counter and kitchen island, trying find everything that doesn't belong.

       "Dez." Casper laughs and pauses my scrambling by coming up behind me. Strong arms wrap around my torso, and his chin rests on my shoulder.

        "Please try to relax," he chuckles softly against my cheek before planting a sloppy kiss. "She loves you." He frees the mix of items from my clutch and drops them on the counter.

       I spin in his arms to face him. I don't care if she likes me. She would read right through our dynamic. As much as she might like me, I can guarantee that she loves Lawson that much more. What was she going to think about my coming between them?

       "I can't be here when she comes over," I tell him urgently. "What's she going to think?"

       Casper shrugs nonchalantly. "I doubt she'll even question it. We'll say we're catching up."

      I shake my head. There's no way. How would she not question my presence at their family supper? How would she not question all my belongings here? What if she asks questions? I barely had answers for myself, how am I supposed to explain things to her?

      "Dez," Casper interrupts my chaotic thinking. "We won't discuss anything with her yet. Sure, she might piece a few things together, but she won't question us on it. She won't hate you for being here. Honestly, she would probably be thrilled with this outcome."

        I crinkle my nose in disbelief. I've always loved his mom. She is such a sweetheart, and she always made me feel welcomed when I went over as a kid. She is truly a saint but even for her...this might be too much to accept. I didn't want to flaunt whatever this was in her face.

         "There's truly nothing you need to prepare for," Casper tries again to reassure me. "You don't have to hide your stuff."

        He pushes me towards the living room and guides me on the couch.

       "Here." He hands me a bag. "I bought this to help you relax for a few hours."

       The man definitely knows how to win a girl over. Not only is there a book in the bag, but it's a book that's been on my TBR list. Just like that, all my worries momentarily vanish. I jump up with excitement.

        "How did you know?" I ask. By the way he grins in return to my excitement, I know he didn't just get lucky by choosing this title. "Wait...Did you go through my phone?"

        "I was very tempted to dig through your collection of dirty eBooks, but I do have some morals." Casper shoots me my favourite crooked grin.

        "Is Morals your new nickname for Lawson?" I ask.

        "Ha," Casper quips. "I'd like to think that you're beginning to realize that his morals are no better than mine, by now."

        I laugh at his comment as I flick through the pages of my new book, assessing the size and font of the writing.

        "I texted Ivy actually," he answers my earlier question. "I remembered you mentioning that you exchange book recommendations."

       I grimace. "Is there any chance that she sent you the book name and ended the conversation at that?"

        Casper's lips twitch with humor and I groan. An unsupervised conversation between Ivy and Casper? Sounds like the perfect way to start scripting my next nightmare.

        By the way he grins wickedly, I know he's recalling something that they discussed.

       "I just have one question before I leave you to your book," he starts, as he back away towards the kitchen. "Where were you finding all these men that couldn't find a clit if it was advertise with a neon yellow flashing sign?"

        My jaw falls to the floor in horror. She did not! Of all the things to share with him—she just had to announce that none of my previous hookups had been able to make me finish. I bury my face in my hands.

        "Making you cum comes so naturally to Lawson and me, that I think my head's grown thrice in size since that conversation."

        Casper looks so damn proud of himself. That cocky grin on his face is the precise reason that I haven't voiced their achievement. They were undoubtfully going to become insufferably smug.

        Too flustered to muster a proper response, I opt for chucking a couch pillow at Casper. The blond chuckles as he dodges it easily.

        "Don't worry," he laughs. "I'm done torturing you. Enjoying your paper porn. Highlight your favourite scenes, and Lawson and I will turn fiction into reality."

         He pulls a yellow highlighter out of his pocket, tosses it at me and disappears behind the kitchen door.

       I groan as I grasp the highlighter and open my book. Why are they both so perfect? I'm supposed to be annoyed with Casper, but he spoke right to my book-lover heart, and all is forgotten.

       I'm so enthralled by my newest read that time sneaks up on me. The doorbell startles me back to reality. My eyes leave the pages in my hands for the first time in hours and my heart sinks to my stomach.

        "I'll get it," Lawson offers from the kitchen. If they were both still working in the kitchen when the doorbell rang... that means Debby is here. A naïve part of me hoped that Casper was messing me. He would be the kind to climb out of the kitchen window just for a prank. Unfortunately, this was not one of his pranks because. Casper followed behind Lawson by only a few steps.

       I thought that I still had hours before her arrival! Lawson and Casper had basically forbidden me from helping with supper, so I've just been sat here reading all afternoon. I should have known that I would lose track of time. This is the precise reason that I usually place an alarm on when I open a book.

       I shoot off the couch and grab Lawson by the shirt when he passes me.

       "I haven't even changed yet," I complain. "Stall for me."

       Lawson eyes my grey sweatpants and then my black shirt and frowns. "You look great," he says. "There's really no need to change."

        "Spoken from the man wearing black jeans and his best pollo shirt," I accuse. "You should have warned me that she was on the way." I don't even bother rationalising with Casper. I expect better from Lawson—he's usually so considerate.

       "Debby already loves you. There's nothing more you need to do to impress her," he answers nonchalantly. "Pulling you away from the book would have meant you stressing for hours prior to her arrival."

        I huff. I'm sure she loved Lawson too –who wouldn't it. And yet, he took the time to dress nicely. They could have at least given me twenty minutes.

       No time to debate this with him, I wave my hand uselessly in his direction. "Doesn't matter," I sigh. "Tell her I'm in the bathroom or something. I just need two minutes to change."

       Without further ado, I make a run for the bedroom. If we delay answering the door any longer, Debby is sure to let herself in.

      I grab the first pair of jeans on top of my laundry basket, and complete the outfit with a puffy sleeved, black blouse. It's as good as I can do on short notice. Luckily the messy bun that I've been rocking all day, turned out better than every bun or updo that I've tried to style for events.

       I hear Debby's soft voice echoing from the living room, and with it comes a mixture of emotion. Above every swirling emotion, stress is coming out the strongest, but there's nostalgia and sweetness there too. Her voice brings back so many memories: all the times she picked me up from school to play with Casper, the games she would organize for his birthday parties and the little tricks she used to whisper in my ear to help me win against the boys.

         Before I lose my courage and make the same escape as my bar date of many weeks ago, I join the group. They're making way for the kitchen and Debby's nose twitches as she sniffs the savory smell in the kitchen.

       "Smells wonderful—" her words fall short when she takes notice of my entrance. She looks startled and my heart drops to my stomach.

        She blinks twice more with surprise and then reestablishes my ability to breath by grinning. "Desirae!" she greets. "It's so good to see you."

      I don't have time to form a response—she's already pulling me into her arms.

     I smile in returned greeting, but my face tightens. I could kill Casper for not warning his mother that I would be here! I just casually walked out of her son and his boyfriend's bedroom...

      "I hope you don't mind that I'm here," I start awkwardly. "I thought Casper told you that he invited me tonight." I turn towards said man and narrow my eyes. I fix my face fast enough, so Debby doesn't see the stink eye that I just shot her son. He'll be getting an earful later.

       "Are you kidding?" she laughs. "Of course, I don't mind. I can't wait to catch up!"

       And catch up we do. Debby asks me many questions about school, my career and my parents. I take the seat next to her at the kitchen table, and the more we talk, the more at ease I become.

       "So how did this reunion happen?" she asks.

      I choke on my sip of water. I should have known that this would eventually come up.

     Debby's gaze shifts between the three of us, waiting for someone to answer. The longer we take to answer the more she's likely to grow suspicious, but still, I wait for one of the guys to take the lead.

       "I meant to tell you," Casper begins. "That new job I started is at the same nursing home that Dez works."

       "Ah," Debby nods in acknowledgement. "So, you cornered her while she was hard at work and somehow suckered her into catching up?"

       I can't help but laugh. She's not that far off from the truth.

      Casper gasps in feigned indignation. "I resent the fact that you know me so well," he laughs. "Also, can you blame me? I had some arm candy to show off. Lawson has always been good-looking, but the tats and muscles speak for themselves."

        Lawson's cheeks turn the same shade of pink as the rosé wine that I bring to my lips. I try to hide my smile behind the glass. I love to see humble hot men, and Lawson is as humble as they get. He has no idea how hot he is.

       "Oh, that reminds me," Debby says. "I brought a batch of the potato donuts you love, L. Just another a reminder of my appreciation for putting up with my son."

        "Excuse me?" Casper objects.

        Lawson and I laugh at Debby and Casper's dynamic. If there's anybody that won't hesitate to call Casper out, it's his mother. I laugh so much throughout supper, that by the time my plate is empty, my ribs ache from shaking so much.

        I'm having so much fun, that for a while I forget what I was so stressed about. It's only as we clear the table and argue over who gets to clean the dishes, that some of my uneasiness returns. Since the boys cooked, Debby and I win the argument that we should be the ones to clean. An argument won should be a good thing... but it means Debby and I being alone as the guys relax in the living room.

        "I've got this." I try to save myself from a potentially awkward conversation. "I'm sure you'd love to spend more time with Casper and Lawson."

        "Nonsense." She smiles softly. "I'd like to spend time with you too... You wash, I dry?"

        Though I swallow nervously, I smile in agreement. Turning on the hot water, I grab the sponge and hand her a dry cloth.

       We're so quiet during the first few dishes, silently passing the plates from my hand to hers, that we can hear Lawson and Casper bickering in the living room.

        "Absolutely not," Lawson says.

       My lips twitch upwards. I don't know what they're talking about, but I know well enough that no matter what it is, there's bound to be at least a little fight in Casper.

       "Come on," the blond whines.

        "We are not getting a life size version of Santa's sleigh and his eight reindeers."

       Lawson sounds so exasperated. I throw my head back in silent laughter. I can only imagine how many wild Christmas decorations Lawson has had to talk Casper out of buying.

        "But it's so pretty," Casper maintains. I just know that he's looking at Lawson through his long lashes, blinking up at his boyfriend like a sad puppy. "The front yard looks so empty now that I've seen this."

        "You've got a budget for a reason," Lawson reminds. "That's like three months of our mortgage... And where would you even store that?"

        They must have left the living room because their voices slowly fade away. I'm inclined to follow them, eager to hear who comes out victorious. I will not be surprised if I wake tomorrow to the sound of a truck backing into the driveway with an extra-large delivery.

        "They're so perfectly imperfect as a pair." Debby shakes her head fondly as we chuckle softly at their squabbling. "We're you surprised to learn they were together?"

        "A little..." I admit. Mostly because of the way I learned—but obviously I won't be sharing that bit with her. "Once I knew though, it seemed so obvious. It's sweet how much they love each other."

        She smiles in a way that makes my stomach drop. There's a certain knowing on her features and a dangerous trouble-making sparkle in her eyes that I so often see in Casper. "They seem to love you a lot too."

        I'm certainly not expecting that response. I don't know what to say—don't know how to respond. So, instead my hands lay idly in the hot water as I stand still like a blubbering idiot.

        "Sorry to burst your bubble sweetie, but it was a little obvious... Is it too soon for this conversation?"

        I hide my face in my soapy hands and manage to groan and laugh at the same time. "It's not—we're not..." I stutter uselessly.

        "So, it's in the complicated phase. Sorry to catch on so early in the process." She chuckles softly. "If it makes you feel better, it probably isn't that obvious to others. But I know what my son looks like when he's in love. And that boy looks at you the same way he looks at Lawson. No matter what you title that right now, doesn't diminish the very real feelings there."

        My face must be ten degrees warmer than the scorching water I'm using to wash the dishes. My washing becomes clumsy as my hands seem to fail me. Dishes cling loudly together and water drips on the front of my shirt. My heart is racing in my chest. I can't let my mind drift to that possibility. I won't survive believing her prediction if it isn't true.

        If I was at a loss for words earlier, it's nothing compared to now.

       Debby grimaces at my side. "Clearly, you guys haven't had any conversation of the sort yet," she remarks. "Please pretend that I didn't say anything."

        I laugh half-heartedly for her sake, but something like that is very difficult to ignore.

       "So, I hear you're going to France?" I ask inelegantly.

       It's an obvious attempt to change the conversation but Debby doesn't torture me by acknowledging it. As though nothing monumental just happened, she dives into the details of her upcoming trip. I do my best to focus on her current words and participate in the conversation like a normal person, but my mind is screaming at me with possibilities that I'm too afraid to recognize. This is all so complicated and to let myself have that kind of hope feels foolish. How could I possibly keep up with the kind of love Lawson and Casper share?

        If this is all just still a trial to me, then when does the idea of Casper loving me scare me so much? When fear and love are involved, the third variable that usually accompanies them is unrequited... Debby got it wrong. I'm the one that's falling. I'm falling fast and hard—and what a damn mess this is going to become.