Whole Lotta Love // Led Zeppelin

Grinder

I approach the front door and pause halfway down the walkway. When was the last time I stood at a woman's door with flowers in my hand? Never, that's fucking when. I'm too damn old for this. What in hell made me think this was a good idea? Looking back over the past few weeks I can't remember trying to decide if what I'm about to do is something that should be done. Spend time with Julia, get to know her. Talk. It wasn't a decision. It was an instinct. But my instincts usually suck.

I turn back on the path and take a half step toward my truck and pause again because I don't really want to leave. Flowers would never survive the ride on my hog. The wind would destroy them ten seconds in. So, I brought the truck and stopped on the way. Flowers seemed like the right touch. Something a man should do for a first date. The bottle of wine was an impulse buy I snagged on the way to the cashier. The woman is making me a meal, wine is the least I can do. Right? Or have I already fucked up. Will she think I'm trying to get something from her...

What the fuck. I can't get my feet to go either direction. I want to see her, find out if that fucking sizzle is the real thing. But I don't know what I'm doing. Who the hell do I think I am? I look down at my shoes, clean boots for once not the grungy mess I usually wear. I can't be bothered to clean the dirt for too many stupid reasons I don't want to think about right now. I've got dark jeans, also clean, and a button up shirt. With a collar. No fucking tie though because I don't need my own personal noose around my neck trying to look pretty. I left the top two buttons open. A man needs to be able to breathe and I already know that Julia takes my breath away.

Fuck. What is a woman like her doing allowing me in her front door? Maybe she won't. Maybe she'll take one look at me and freak out. My freshly shaved undercut is on display with the rest of my hair in a knot. Ink clearly visible on my neck and fingers, and through the white shirt if I flex just right. She's Suzy homemaker, all blonde and perfumed. We don't match up. At all.

I know I'm talking myself out of this. I'm seconds away from leaving and calling the whole thing off. Playing the asshole I've led everyone to believe I am. Pushing people far away. But the memory of the little bombshell keeps me from pulling the trigger on my inclination to ditch. I close my eyes and remember. This memory is more than an image, more than thoughts swirling in my mind. All these days later and I can still feel every part of her body. Her smooth skin, her soft lips, her warm breath, the vibration of her moan. That little gasp I swallowed at the end. Damn it!

I turn for the last time and take four strides to her front door. I may be sweating bullets and freaking the fuck out, but Julia might be as well. Or she might actually be looking forward to this and be disappointed if I don't show. My hand is raised, I'm about to make contact with the wood separating me from this woman that's burrowed under my skin when I pause once more.

I can't go in her home like a tornado, the way I usually enter anywhere I go. Her ass of an ex sounds like he pushed her around, still trying to run things, even now. The little she said about him makes me burn. I wanted to find the guy and show him what it's like to be controlled. Maybe I still will...

But right now, this woman needs the guy I keep on lock down. The one I am in the storage room with the door locked. She doesn't need Grinder, she needs Rob.

I fucking want to be Rob with her.

I knock, but keep it gentle, soft. Rob is knocking. He's a heartbroken son of a bitch but I think Julia's heart is equally broken. Maybe we can be something better for each other. Maybe we can-

The door swings open, causing whatever thought I was about to have vanish. Holy. Shit.

Julia is a vision. I take a step back in reflex because my eyes can't take her in standing this close. Soft golden blonde hair, bright blue eyes, delicate neck accented by a thin chain. How in the hell is her collar bone so sexy? She's in the definition of a little black dress. It covers her body but hugs it as well. I want to reach up and cover my mouth, but my hands are full.

Oh fuck, the flowers!

"Hi. You look...damn, so beautiful. Here, these are for you." I push the flowers forward into her chest like a dick. Julia grabs at them, a hint of pink in her cheeks. I fumbled that like the amateur I am. Fuck.

"They're beautiful," she says. Her voice is quiet. Shy. I'm worried she's uncomfortable having me in her house until she looks back up into my eyes. And there it is.

The fucking sizzle.

Julia steps aside, holding the door open for me. "Please, come in. Let me get these in some water."

I walk into her house, looking around. It's immaculate and simple, just like her. The colors are muted greens and gold, a modern style with a vintage edge. There's nothing lacey, nothing that I would label as girly and yet her home is soft. I follow her to the kitchen, passing the dining room table set for two. The smell is what gets to me the most. If I knew anything about cooking, I might be able to place or describe the aroma of whatever dinner she's made, but all I eat is fast food shit and frozen meals so I wouldn't know.

"Smells good." I place the bottle of wine on the counter. "No idea if this goes with what you made but we don't have to drink it."

Julia looks at me over her shoulder. She's filling a vase with the flowers I brought, which I now realize match the colors in her house. Greens and golden yellow.

"I'm sure it will pair nicely. White wine is an ingredient in the dish. We have a match." Julia offers me the first real smile of the night, settling me a bit. If she can do this, so can I.

"Perfect."

She nods, finishing with the flowers and bringing them past me to the table. After she sets them in the center, she steps back and assesses the setting.

"Hmmm." She hums then leans back and slides the vase to the side. When she turns back to me, her eyes sparkle. "Now we'll be able to see each other while we eat."

Holy fuck. That sounded...dirty. What is wrong with my brain?

"Sounds good," I mumble. I stand next to the table, feeling out of place, watching as Julia starts carrying dishes to the table. When she brings the last one, I realize I should have offered to help. Fuck, I'm hopeless.

"I don't know what you like, so I made a white wine chicken."

I glance at the spread before me, created by the woman at my side. I was expecting pizza, but this is a five-star gourmet meal.

"It looks fucking delicious," I say. My mouth is already watering. I'm still standing like an idiot. Do I pull out her chair? Do I take a seat and dig in? I'm not used to dinner with cloth napkins in a house as clean as this.

"Thank you" Julia clears her throat. "Shall we sit and get started?"

"Sure." I step around her, brushing her shoulder with my arm as I go. Pulling out her chair feels odd, but I do it anyway. My stomach is in knots. This is awkward as hell and I don't know what to do about it.

Julia sits then gestures for me to do the same. As soon as I do, she's back on her feet reaching for the main course. I stop her before she can start dishing things out.

"I should serve you. It's the least I can do after the time you took to make all of this." I don't wait for her agreement, just reach for the platter and pick up the serving spoon. Julia sits back and watches.

"You're lifting the spoon for me."

"What?"

"It's from the book I read. The one I got the quote from for my tattoo. In that world, the men are the first to lift the spoon to serve their women." I glance at her and see a faraway look in her eyes. "It's to show they care for their companion."

"Hmm, sounds about right." I shrug and continue serving her then myself. "Who lifts the spoon for you?" I ask, using the wording she mentioned from the book."

"Well, I guess you do."

With that I look directly at her. Our eyes say more than words. I realize I already care for her, even with the few interactions we've had. I'm still drawn to her, still want more of her. Still desire her. Yeah, I care for her. More and more with each passing day.

"I guess I do."

***

"I think that may have been the best meal I've ever eaten."

"Stop. It was not." Julia waves me off as she starts to clear the plates.

I grab a couple and follow her into the kitchen. "No, I'm serious. I haven't had many real homecooked meals, not in years. Lots of takeout and frozen foods. This was better than a sit-down restaurant."

"I hardly think that could be true." Julia shakes her head, turning to walk back to the table. I reach out and take her arm gently, pulling her to me.

"A restaurant is a service. That food isn't made with the same heart as the meal you stood here and made. For me." Her food took all the nerves out of me because you don't cook like that for just anyone.

"I'm glad you liked it." Julia's voice is quiet. She steps closer to me, her hands going up to my chest. Her touch sends me to a new place.

I fucking love it.

I lean into her touch, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her closer to me. "I haven't been able to get your lips out of my mind." I bring my lips closer to hers, slowly testing the waters.

Her eyes dip to my approaching mouth, a look filled with heat. "Same for me."

That's all I needed to hear. Half a second later I'm kissing her. It's not the searing first kiss we had but this one says so much more. Our instant attraction combusted during that kiss. We've been simmering with the memory. Now this one is the slow burn that will boil over if we let it. God, I hope we let it.

I'm pressing her against me, pulling her as close as I can. My arms are tight on her back and hers are around my neck. I'm so much taller than she is that I'm sure her feet are barely touching the ground, but it isn't stopping her from taking control of my lips. And then her fingers find their way into my beard.

Holy fuck. Why the hell is that so hot? It's the slightest tickle as she pulls one side, her other hand on the back of my neck. This isn't enough anymore. Standing here, holding her, I want to devour her. My dessert. I have thoughts of a couch, not wanting to drag her to her bedroom on the first date. Maybe the floor, or the table we just cleared.

The table. Yes, it's closer. I'll lay her out. I'll hover above her, taking her all in. I'll-

The doorbell rings followed by a series of loud knocks. Julia startles back from me. The frown on her face is an understatement.

"Hang on a second. I'll just get rid of them." Julia turns and goes to open the door. She sounds strange, using a tone I don't recognize as she addresses whoever is at the door. I'm compelled to walk over and check it out, staying out of sight. Just in case.

"That's why I suggested you keep a set at your house."

A male voice responds. "If you had trained Eric how to be responsible for his equipment, I wouldn't have to spend the extra money...or the time I'm taking to come pick up his glove."

I don't like this guy's tone. By the conversation I'm guessing this is the ex. I could let her handle it. I don't know if she'd want this guy to know about me. That's the only fact keeping me from stepping in right now. I glance at Julia and notice her leg is shaking.

"Fine. Wait here. I'll be right back." She starts to close the door, but the guy pushes it open.

"What the hell, Julia? You're making me wait on the porch?"

"It's not your home anymore and I'd like you to wait out here."

"You can be such a bitch."

I grab the door and pull it open wider. A smug asshole stands on the other side. When he takes one look at me, seeing I'm bigger than him by a lot, that smug look vaporizes.

"I'll keep you company." It's all I say. The rest is accomplished with one look. And I freeze that look right at the ex.

"What's going on? Who are you?" The guy looks between Julia and I waiting for an explanation.

"This is Rob. I'll be right back." Julia's gives me a passing glace and then books it to the hallway. I never take my eyes off the ex.

"I don't have all night." He calls out as she leaves then turns his focus to his phone. I feel his anxiety from here. I learned early on that the best intimidation is silence and focus, not knuckles. Beau handled the rough stuff. I was always his back up, but almost never needed to lay a finger on a guy. I'd gladly lay my entire fist on this guy, however. I'm just waiting for him to say one more shitty word and I'll deliver.

He won't look up at me. Obviously, I'm the stronger of the two of us. He may be more educated than me, but he isn't smarter. The fact that he's the ex is all the evidence I need. Who in their right mind would leave this woman willingly? I know enough about love, about relationships, to know that she's not a woman who would bring a man misery. She's a giver. I bet she gave him her soul. I bet he took it. I bet he never offered her his own. I bet he never even lifted the spoon for her.

My arm is raised, holding the edge of the door. My free hand is casually in my pocket, a show of non-violence. My eyes haven't deviated from the guy. He hasn't lifted his eyes from his phone.

"Did you ever lift the spoon for her?" I can't help but ask the question that's on my mind now.

This brings his head up.

"What?" He looks at me like I'm nuts.

I scoff. Figures. "Never mind." Her favorite book and he has no idea what I'm talking about. This man knows nothing about Julia after being married to her for so long. I realize that I may actually know her better than her former husband ever did.

"Here. Tell Eric I'll be at the game by first pitch." Julia hands her kid's glove to her ex.

"Fine."

He says nothing else before turning to leave. I watch to make sure he drives away then I close the door and turn to face Julia, not certain if she'll be pissed that I showed my face or happy that I had her back.

"That was so much sexier than my panties."

'Wha-" I don't get a chance to find out what she means because she's jumped into my arms and is having her way with my mouth. Next thing I know, her legs are wrapped around me and she's whispering in my ear.

"The bedroom is up the stairs. First door on the right."

Well, damn.

Ahhh!!! Julia and Grinder SIZZLE! I'm so sorry for the late update! I'm STILL on that road trip with 5 days left. The reception on update days tends to suck. But here he is! I may revise a few parts over the next few weeks, adding some more details between Grinder and Dean. I want him to be Rob with Julia...but Grinder with Dean and the distinction needs to be visceral. It's not there yet but I'm gonna punch it a bit!

PS I literally typed this in the car so please excuse the typos or errors!!

Thank you so much for loving this grungy guy! He's becoming one of my favorites ❤️❤️❤️

Zeppelin for the date!

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