Chapter 1- Retreating Steps
"Alie..." A gentle whisper came through the phone and Alisha was left in awe, tears streaming down her face as she recognised her dad's voice on the phone. It has been eight months since she had any communication with her family.
"Dad..." Alisha stammered, her throat suddenly parched and she was unable to form words.
"Hey, can you please talk to me?" His voice sounded weak and distorted with interference. She could hardly understand what he was saying, but she had so much to say. She missed her family.
"How's it going, kiddo? Don't you miss us? Hey, come home, kid. I swear, nobody's going to say a thing. We'll welcome him and your child too. Just come back." Kailash pleaded with his daughter.
"Dad, we're not together anymore. It's only the two of us, me and my son." She had been strong up until now, but expressing her reality was incredibly tough.
"Why, Alie, why? Why did you continue to endure so much by yourself? Why didn't you contact me?"
"I couldn't, Dad. I've hurt all of you."
"Come back, Alie. You're always welcome back. We are a family." He facepalmed and plopped down on the chair, clutching the phone.
"If word got out that I'm back with my family, rumours will start flying. Because of me, you'll have to endure even more shame, dad."
"You're my strong daughter; we'll get through this, Alie. I'm really missing my rebellious daughter; what have you done with her?" He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.
A sweet chuckle left Alisha's throat as she said, "I promise dad, I'll come back, but give me your word that you'll never bring up the baby's father."
"I won't. None of us will. But here's the deal: only if you'll give life another shot."
Alisha ended the call and glanced at the baby, whose gentle snores filled the room. She leaned down to give a soft peck on the baby's forehead and whispered happily, "Let's go meet your grandparents."
****
As Alisha stood at the door, she couldn't help but think how it all began. She was standing at her door, feeling anxious, unsure of what awaited her on the other side of the door. To her relief, it was her mother, Uma, who opened it. "Alie, where have you been? I was really worried about you!" Uma, thrilled to see her daughter, gave her a big hug and ushered her inside. Alisha grinned at her mom and said, "Hey mom. How are you?"
Alisha peered into her mother's eyes, expecting the same disappointment she had witnessed back then but all she saw was her mother's eyes sparkling with joy. OMG! How much she longed to be with her family.
Kailash strolled by Uma, affectionately caressed Alisha's head, and grinned at the peacefully slumbering child in his daughter's embrace. "My grandson?" He inquired.
When she nodded, he extended his hand and asked, "May I?" seeking her permission. With tears of happiness in her eyes, Alisha carefully placed the baby in her father's arms. Her parents were over the moon, cradling their grandchild in their arms. Both of them were cooing at the little one, who had just woken up from a nap and was staring curiously at the unfamiliar faces in front of him. Not only Alisha, but her parents were also in tears.
"What did you name him, Alie?" Uma asked her daughter as she continued to coo at the baby, her smile never fading even for a moment.
Alisha officially introduced the little one to her parents. "Hey, Dad and Mom, Meet your grandson, August." Kailash held the little one in his huge arms, making him look skinnier than before. He leaned down to give a quick kiss on his forehead and then did the same to Alisha. Before long, the other Sabharwals also joined them.
Nisha leaned in to check out her nephew. She lovingly caressed his velvety, ultra-soft hair while inquiring, "Did you give him an English name or name him based on the month he was born?" Nisha has always been a straight shooter, never beating around the bush and speaking her mind without hesitation.
"Why? You don't like it?" Alisha asked. As Nisha stood there, caught between fits of laughter and tears, she couldn't help but retort, "Seriously? You couldn't come up with something like Agustya, Azad, or even a freedom fighter? Or how about a festival like Onam?"
"Haha, very funny! The nurse made this silly mistake; she accidentally put his birth month instead of his name. I just let it go. I couldn't change it right away So.." Alisha flashed a mischievous grin in response.
"Seriously, you gotta fix his name; I can't be calling my nephew August' It's going to sound weird, Hey! August, will you visit your Maasi?' Yikes," and she giggled. Alisha, knowing her sister's taunts, just smiled. Nisha was not done yet.
"Seriously, who waits this long to fix their kid's name? Alie, you need to step up and be more responsible. You're not alone anymore; you're a mom now." Nisha kept playing with the baby but couldn't stop herself from picking at her sister with her rude comments.
Alisha had completely run out of patience. "You know, Nisha, I've always been proud that my sister is a super intelligent doctor, but I feel sorry for your education. Don't you know that pregnancy is not an easy job? It's incredibly challenging for a single mother or a pregnant woman without a family to go through the entire nine months on their own, handling the delivery and managing daily tasks with a belly the size of a football. I know that it was my choice, and I have absolutely no regrets about it. Why am I even bothering to tell this to someone who has servants at their beck and call and has no clue what life outside their luxurious palace is like? I feel sorry for you, Nisha; yes, I really do." Her outburst silenced everyone, including herself.
"And how does it matter? I'll raise my son well, he'll never feel ashamed of his name because he'll be a better person." Alisha's voice trembled as she gazed deeply into her sister's eyes. Nisha's cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She had been cold and dismissive towards her, but this was the first occasion where she mustered the courage to fire back with a sharp retort.
Uma and Kailash couldn't help but swell with pride as they watched their youngest child. Their daughter, who had a notorious reputation, appeared to have grown up, as if she had suddenly become more mature. Uma took hold of Alisha's hands and held onto them tightly. "Where have you been the entire time? Alie, why didn't you contact us sooner? How have you been all this time? Your dad and brother were searching; they exhausted all their contacts in an attempt to reach out to you, but it didn't pan out." Uma's tears flowed uncontrollably, feeling responsible for all the hardships her daughter had to endure. She blamed herself for overreacting when Alisha told her about her pregnancy.
Alisha gazed at her mother's weak and petite frame. She felt her heart in her throat, thinking about the troubles she had caused her family. Holding her mother's hands tightly, she reassured, "Mom, please don't cry. I'm okay, and I apologise for putting you all through this."
Even though she had been wanting to apologise for a while, she made the choice not to reach out to her family. She even distanced herself from phone calls and social media. When Uma heard the apology, she embraced her daughter tightly, overcome with emotion.
Nisha softly caressed the baby's smooth cheek and exclaimed, "He's so cute!" Uma released her grip on Alisha and gently took the baby from her husband's arms. With a teary smile, she whispered, "Come over here, kiddo. Do you look like your grandma? Let me take a closer look."
Perhaps it was just a coincidence, or he might have felt like a lot of people were watching him. Regardless of the reason, the boy who was snoozing woke up, glanced at his grandma, then promptly closed his eyes and dozed off again.
Every little thing the baby did thrilled Nisha. She had never seen a baby this small before. When she saw him wake up, she exclaimed with excitement, "Mom, look at him; he's yawning! Awwww, he is so cute doing that."
"Haven't you seen an infant before?? All babies do that and yes, all babies are cute."
Kailash looked at the baby and Thought to himself, 'There's hardly any resemblance in his features with Alie's. He might take after the father.'
Alisha felt relieved to see her family gathered around the baby, all beaming with smiles.
Uma handed the baby over to her husband and walked up to her daughter, saying, "Alie, you look tired. Go and take a quick nap. We'll handle August and wake you up when it's time to feed him." Alisha gave her mom a peck on the cheek, headed to her room, and quickly fell asleep, feeling reassured that her son was in good care.
When she woke up, her mom was right beside her, cradling the baby. The little one was wriggling around, making cute little noises.
"I didn't want to bother you, but it looks like he's hungry." Alisha's heart raced as she swiftly faked a cough, her eyes darting to catch the attention of her mother.
"Did you catch a cold?" Uma asked right away.
"I..ah, think so," she murmured, and Uma immediately jumped out of bed , covering the baby's face... in an attempt to protect him from the germs.
"I'll whip up some home remedies for your cold. Do you have any formula milk on hand? You can't breastfeed him when you have a cold."
"Oh! Yes, Ma. I've got them." Feeling relieved, Alisha promptly got out of bed to make a bottle for August.
In the evening,
Alaksh, the only son of Kailash and Uma Sabharwal, entered the Sabharwal mansion when he heard the ear-piercing cry of an infant. He looked on each side to find the source of the cry but couldn't see anyone around. He approached his house when the wail became even more distinct. He knew it came from his house. Standing at the entrance door, he saw a woman trying to comfort the baby and feed him. Once the baby got what he wanted, everything went silent.
Alaksh set down his work bag and searched the living room for his sister. "Mom, where is Alie? She must be here by now."
"Yeah, she is. She's upstairs with your dad, and this adorable little guy is your nephew, Augy." Uma paused abruptly, a realisation dawning on her. She squinted at her son and spoke through clenched teeth, "Seriously? You and your dad didn't bother to let me know that Alie was coming," She asked.
"We love you, Mom, but the truth is that you absolutely lost it when Alie announced her pregnancy. You were so overwhelmed that you started shadowing Nisha everywhere she went. I was worried you wouldn't accept her if I told you earlier," Alaksh tried to explain. It was clear to Uma why they were trying to keep the news from her.
****
"With mom's extra nutritious food and our love, August has become cute and plump." Nisha remarked as she affectionately watched her nephew in her brother's arms. Alisha's return has brought a delightful transformation to the Sabharwal household. The entire family was grooving to his beats. He was only brought to Alisha for his feed.
"You're totally spoiling him." Alisha teased Alaksh, but deep down, she couldn't help but find it adorable to see him holding her baby so lovingly.
"My nephew shouldn't be crying, you know. It bothers me when my little man shows his dissatisfaction." Alaksh softly whispered, cradling the tiny creature in his arms. However, the baby was hungry and on the verge of crying uncontrollably.
"Your fancy words won't fill his tiny tummy," Alisha scolded her siblings, reclaiming the child. August quickly grabbed onto Alisha's breast.
Uma couldn't help but notice Alisha's hesitation when August was looking for his food source. "Alie, go to your room." Uma ushered her into the room, simply to prevent adding more fuel to the spreading rumours. Word was getting around about a baby in the house, and Uma understood that Alisha wanted her space and wasn't up for talking about it. Their small gathering was quickly over, and Alisha left with her child.
Over the dinner
The Sabharwal's have been having a family dinner together ever since Alisha came back. As usual, all of the Sabharwal's were having dinner when Kailash decided to have a serious chat with his daughter. "Alie, What happened in the past stays in the past. You know, you can't alter the past, but you still have control over the present and future. Shape them nicely. You are with the family and you also seem happy, so your present is good, but I encourage you to also keep your future in mind. You graduated from university with top honours and aced all eight exams of the CA intermediate. You are an incredibly talented girl. For real, you've got so much potential, Alie! I really think you should refocus and go after your dream. Finish your CA Finals too." Kailash spoke with pride.
Alisha, too, could feel the warmth in her father's words. She nodded and said, "Dad, I understand what you are saying, but I need to think about August. He's only a few months old; he needs his mom, and preparing for the CA Finals is like becoming a saint. I'll have to fully immerse myself in it."
Kailash was fully aware of the level of commitment needed to prepare for a highly competitive and demanding exam. But he is also confident that Alisha will totally crush it. So he wasn't about to quit.
"You are done being alone, Alie; let us take it from here; we'll take care of our grandson, and you continue your studies. You're young—just 20 years old—and already a mother. I am aware that the rumours are upsetting you and that you are worried about society, but we couldn't care less about what people are saying. We're just happy to have you and August here with us, and that's all that matters. Please, let us handle August while you focus on reaching your goal." He attempted to convince her.
Alisha became a mom in her early twenties. She knew that society often mocked single mothers. She was also subjected to one. She quickly started hearing gossip and speculations about her and the father of her baby in society, but she's determined not to let anyone judge her. She was aware that people would criticise her, but she's glad that her family supports her. She's also excited that her life is back to normal and that the family is experiencing long-lost happiness again.
"Just now, you figured out that life would be hard. What were you thinking back then?" her mother glared at her. "I still can't believe you actually have the courage to leave our family and take on the world. Don't ever pull a stunt like that, or I'll break your legs." Uma spoke with fake anger.
"Oh, Augy, did you see your grandma reprimanding me? Now that you'll spend more time with her, do tell her that her focus should now be on you and not me." Alisha was conversing with the infant in her arms while modulating her tone of voice to sound amusing; August responded completely to her words. He was laughing.
Alisha was a natural at motherhood. A girl who never bothered to double-check her stuff before leaving the house now triple-checked her bag before heading out with August. The closet that used to be filled with high-end clothing and accessories now houses all the baby essentials and supplies.
Her family found it entertaining to witness the change in their rebellious little one, who has now become a very caring and responsible mother.
***
One night, Alisha put August to bed and carefully constructed a pillow barrier around the baby to ensure his safety in case he rolled off. Babies can be quite a handful, that's for sure. She was going through it. Alisha got worn out by the time the sun set. That day was no different. She plopped down next to him and drifted off to sleep as soon as her head touched the pillow. That night, it was very early when Alisha and August retired to their room, so they missed their family time routine. Worried, Kailash and Uma came to check on them and luckily, they arrived just in time. A pillow from the pillow wall fell down, causing August to roll to the corner of the bed. Kailash rushed and picked him up. This small disturbance woke up August and he started crying. Alisha was startled awake by his loud cries. She was totally shocked to see her parents in her room, giving her a fierce look and holding her child.
Alisha hopped out of bed and hurried over to her baby. If she was surprised to see her parents standing in her room, she didn't show it. Taking the baby from her dad's arms, she tried to rock him and put him back to sleep, but August wasn't in the mood to pay attention to his mom; his crying only got louder.
Feeling her daughter's sense of powerlessness, Uma scooped up the little one and gently cradled him until he drifted back to sleep. Alisha felt defeated; she hung her head and mumbled, "Sorry, it's my fault. I shouldn't have fallen asleep. I'll make sure to be more careful in the future."
Uma had a blank expression on her face as her father playfully booped her nose, watching her struggle with a smile.
"What just went down is totally not your fault, kiddo. You're a dedicated mom, and you were simply worn out. All moms go through these tough times, and your own mom had her fair share with you three as well. But we got some assistance. Alie, I realise that you have been caring for the infant by yourself recently, but you are no longer required to do so. Let us help you with your responsibilities so that you can get some rest and focus on your career."
"Seriously, my sweet child, We've always supported your ability to make your own choices, even when you've made mistakes, you remained steadfast in your decisions, regardless of the circumstances, and learned from them. But at some point, you have to be cautious. Eventually, you have to quit messing around and start making smart choices. Any more slip-ups could seriously mess up your life." Kailash's eyes filled with tears.
She quickly apologised, ashamed that she had let her decision ruin the peace of her family. "I promise it won't happen again."
"It better not, or I'll break your legs." Her mom threatened her, gently swaying her baby, who eventually dozed off in her lap. But the moment she gently laid him down on the bed, he began crying. Her parents stayed with the baby overnight in her bed. They did suggest that Alisha take their room for the night, but she was still not comfortable leaving the baby, so she ended up on the couch. Her parents no longer awaited her approval before intervening.
The next morning, Alisha woke up with a really bad backache and body pain. She was feeling low all the time. So Nisha recommended some dietary supplements and getting enough rest, but that was challenging with a baby. The following week was really difficult for Uma, as it felt like she was stuck in a time loop, doing the same thing for her kids. Kailash encouraged Alisha to prioritise her career, so she began reaching out to companies for an upcoming articleship.
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