Hey all

Back with an update midst cold and clouded head. A bit longer than usual. 

 I really have no clue how it turned out to be... Apologies in advance if not par expectations. Please ignore errors and typos. 

Happy Reading.

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For Ragini, it was important to uncover the details of the event that led to Swara's decision. Swara wouldn't give in a word and her terms with the rest of members didn't run well. Getting into Bose house again was off limits, given she was considered to be a threat.

Adi was only one Ragini could turn for help...

Aadyot totally had a different story to deal with He had a winning tournament and he couldn't wait to share the details. Once back it wasn't tough him to sense changes in dynamics. He was in the minority, not happy with the alliance news and worried over Swara di's distraught state. And he was clueless on ways to tackle. These are the kind of moments, he wished he was elder who could shoulder the responsibilities, make decisions.

He has a chance coming his way. It was after he had a word with Ragini di, he took it upon himself to fish out details...his easy target was Dadi.

All it took was a little probing and sentiment of being the only 'gent' of the family and I am no longer a kid card and little play of emotions. Dadi loved Aadyot enough to give in to his demands.

He immediately shared the same with, Ragini who had her temper touching heights. So this is it. She knew it...that Kavita! Ragini scowled. She placed a call to Laksh next.

"I can't believe someone would stoop to such low," Laksh felt flicker of fury too. "Has Kavita been always this troublesome and what's with this being in love with Sanskaar all of a sudden. Btw, She doesn't stand a chance. Sanskaar is crazy for Swara." He concluded.

While Ragini was intent on sharing the news with Sanskaar, Laksh was in clear denial citing it would just aggravate his anger. They need to wait till he cools down, at least a couple of days. Ragini reluctantly agreed and hoped either of Sanskaar or Swara to come back to senses, sooner.

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Sanskaar felt restless that evening. He knew Sumitra Bose had been in talks with his family on taking things forward, fixing a date for engagement.

Engagement! The idea felt appalling as the impact of his decision sank in. It definitely wasn't one of the best ones he made ..but ...he thought ...

Didn't it bother her? It has everyone who mattered to him question his sanity, but not her! The one he wished would walk in, seek some clarifications, at least throw an accusation. He could have welcomed a slap too, just to have Swara claim him.

But nothing came in ..neither her nor a message or call. Of course not! This is what she wanted and she would have no complaints. None!

He had been trying to make up his mind, but heart seems to be singing a different tune. All the love her eyes professed, couldn't be a lie or a trick to lure him. He felt it, lived it...all those moments with her.

Her contradictory actions said a different story. What is it? What is the truth? Did she really want to let him go? Why? Sanskaar ran a hand through his hair slightly frustrated. Swara Bose! always a puzzle.

He can't be at peace unless he hears it from her or sees it her eyes that she loves him no more...

Well! There's only one way to figure out. Time to pay a visit.

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Bose house stood calm when Sanskaar stepped in. He found Parvati Gadodia, who was surprised at his sudden visit, then she went on with usual pleasantries and 'khatirdari'

Kavita, Sumitra has been to Mandir, they must be back any time, she told him. Sanskaar paid half attention his eyes looking for Swara.

"Swara is also with them," Parvati said as if she read him got a smile as an answer. It was clear he was here for Swara? Had it always been for only Swara? Paravti Gadodia suddenly felt unsettled.

Just at that moment, Adi walked in back from his tuition. His smile faded at sight of Sanskaar and then was forced. And it didn't go unnoticed by Sanskaar. The usual cheerful disposition of Adi was missing. His greeting as well was acknowledged with nothing but silence, later a disappearing act into his room.

It was after few minutes stepping out of the washroom, Adi found Sanskaar waiting for him in his room. They stared at each other silence. For Sanskaar, it felt extremely awkward as his earlier encounters with Adi were on different terms.

Adi simply sat next to Sanskaar. None said a word.

"Can I ask you something?" Adi finally did break the silence for which Sanskaar replied with a nod.

"You like Swara di, right! Then why are you marrying Kavita di?"

That simple question had Sanskaar in tight knots. This wasn't the first time, this question was posed to him, but every time it was weighed by tons of doubts, accusations, mistrust, seeking explanations but this had none.

It was a simple, straight innocent question. And for once Sanskar himself asked the same question with a clear mind which he had been evading these days and gave Adi the same answer, he had been pacifying himself with.

"This is what your Swara di wanted, Adi."

"No!" Adi stood up as if offended at reply "That's a lie. If this is what Swara di wanted, She wouldn't be sad, She stays silent and doesn't talk to me much either. And she cries all night."

"Cry?" Tears in Swara's eyes, not his favourite.

Adi suddenly looked guilty as if he wasn't supposed to share this, as if he let a secret out. Sanskaar already had questions, his eyes made it clear. And his instinct asked him to go on.

"Haan! He said slowly, "When she thinks everyone slept and no ones watching her. She cries, stays sad all day. Teek se khaana bhi nahi khati.And I know it is because of you. He looked at Sanskaar eye to eye. "Aur jo mere Swara di ko rulata hain, they can never be my friends." He stated in clear terms.

For a minute Sanskaar felt as if he was talking to Swara's elder brother, not some kid in his teens. It was a simple declaration and indication of where his loyalty lies. But it was this new information which had Sanskaar's brain buzzing.

Swara was not happy at his decision. Then why silence? Why not a word? What is stopping her or who? There must be more to the story, he knew without a doubt.

But first, he had this immediate urge to see Swara. Without wasting time any further, he rushed out only to meet Sumitra and Kavita at the entrance. Pleasantries exchanged, Sumitra rushed inside to get something for her 'damaad'. Kavita obviously was excited and had a bubble of assumption forming high on her head, only till Sanskaar asked.

"Where is Swara? Still in mandir? And he didn't wait.

Swara? He was here for that Swara. Kavita stood fuming. Isn't he getting married to her?

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Swara sat in silence, her lone companion past few days. A temple trip, she thought would offer her a little comfort, a bit of peace and she had been wrong.

When you are not at peace with self .. you wouldn't find it anywhere. True! The numbness had gone long and each feeling sank in Guilt, pain and this terrible feeling of losing a piece of self, a precious one, she cherished and loved for years. Her only dream. She closed her eyes and tears slowly trickled down her cheeks.

Sanskaar...

The name came out her lips, as a painful sigh and a hopeful prayer.

And he felt it ...her love with intensity, he never did before. He didn't need to see or hear more. Standing a few feet away he watched her, curbing his every urge to rush to her that very moment, hold her, tell her, she would never have to lose him.

But he didn't.

It would have been easy to confront, demand answers...but he had known Swara enough. She wouldn't utter a word unless she chooses to. And she chose not to. Then and Now.

Sanskaar squeezed his eyes shut. Where did she land them both? Or he did?

Swara...

Her name escaped from his lips, with much familiar longing, she managed to evoke every time.

And Swara opened her eyes, at the call of the heart. Did he just take her name? Why did it feel so? She quickly looked around. It was for a split of a second, she caught a glimpse of him, right before her. At least she thought, she did. A blink and he was gone.

She's imagining him, with her heart and mind clouded with Sanskaar, definitely a fragment of her imagination. Swara pulled herself together and walked out of mandir in slow steps.

He watched her from behind holding his feet to the ground which otherwise would have rushed behind her. And it was with an effort, he held back. Once out of mandir, Sanskaar took his mobile and quickly punched a number. The other side was quick to answer.

"We need to meet."

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Soon, the date of engagement was fixed. It was decided everything would be under wraps till marriage as they didn't want to attract publicity. It was Sanskaar's decision, the Bose family was told. He preferred to keep it simple much to Kavitas' dismay who was eager to flaunt.

"Aren't we supposed to have a grand marriage, Sanskaar? I mean ..let people know..about us "Kavita asked stressing on 'us' hoping he would change his mind. They were out shopping for engagement rings.

"Do you want marriage or show off? Decide" Sanskaar asked picking out of the ring, studying the details. He was in no mood to entertain Kavita who painfully hanged around him.

That had Kavita tongue-tied. "Of course, marriage." She muttered slowly. This guy is not as easy as she assumed.

"Show me something different, please. Something unique in diamonds " Sanskaar asked the store manager. "Don't bother about the cost."

Those words had Kavita flying. She can settle for a silent wedding if these kept coming. Diamonds and lakhs.

An array of trays were placed before him in a separate section. Sanskaar's eyes fell on exactly what he was looking for. He smiled, picked up the ring and held it up for a view. A sneak of it from behind had Kavita gasp in silence.

It was a gorgeous morganite Engagement ring, resembling, a tiara. Morganite is said to be a rare semi-precious stone, known for its pretty peachy pink warm tones. It shone in the middle of the ring, round cut as the shimmering diamonds on the shank.

"Perfect," Sanskaar smiled. And he could already see it shining on her finger. The crystal of divine love as they call it.

Kavita turned away feigning innocence checking other trays. In the end, it's gonna come to her. She will let him have a satisfaction of surprising her. Kavita flicked a bang of hair, smirking.

Soon it was time for lehenga shopping which had family joining in. He knew she wouldn't turn up, as expected. It neither stopped him from getting the ring nor lehenga. He chose hot pink this time...Vibrant and it would have her dazzling.

After all its 'their' engagement.

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It was a day before engagement, Shagun came in from Maheswaris. Kavita already chose her lehenga, the costliest one, she could get her hands upon. Hence it didn't bother when a set of dresses came in neatly packed with names inscribed for each one in Bose house, including Swara.

Dadi went of raving about Maheswari's, their 'tor tarike', generosity as Sumitra handed each one their respective packings. Swara took it in silence. There was no way she could avoid attending, not when it was insisted every one of them to be present. Maheswari Mansion was decided as the venue as it would offer them all privacy needed.

"Can you wipe that sadness on your face and not ruin the day for me, at least tomorrow?"Kavita remarked in a harsh tone only to be warned by Sumitra. Swara didn't reply. She didn't want to. She had more important things to deal with ..her own demons.

It was only a few hours before engagement Swara unpacked the cover, only to have a beautiful pink lehenga, starting back at her. A Light Pink Blouse and a frills lehenga embellished with sequins. Her hands instinctively touched the fabric. Silk and Net. Smooth and flowy.

Swara could bet she never had such a beautiful, fine piece of dress to call her own. She never felt the need, not with family finances running tight. But she couldn't curb the womanly instinct for those little pretty things. She picked each one. A set of bangles, maang teeka and neck piece came along, all perfectly matching with lehenga. So much effort for little details. Maybe that's the way of Maheswari's.

Little did she know, everything was handpicked by Sanskaar only for 'her.'

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She simply dressed up as a dead doll, put on everything like a chore. She let her hair loose, choosing the easy way ... and dabbed a little makeup only because she didn't anyone to notice dull face and puffed eyes. A stroke of kajal..made for a total cover-up.

On another hand, Kavita decked herself up intending to steal all limelight. No one would be able to turn an eye away from her, she mused. And as expected her look had Sumitra and Parvati going wow...only till Swara walked down. And everything fell into silence.

Kavita couldn't believe Swara could look this beautiful. Not even in her dreams. She always considered her self more pretty and dismissed Swara behind those huge rimmed eyeglasses and loose fit garments, but this Swara was different ...and she couldn't help but envy.

Well, in the end, it's her engagement ...so Swara would be out of focus, Kavita told herself. Oh boy! Only if she knew how wrong she was.

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Maheswari Mansion stood true to the grandeur and status of Maheswari's. It was nothing short of a palace, Kavita felt elated, she dreamed exactly of living in one of them, ruling. this would be hers, she thought to take a look around.

Swara's eyes fell on little 'kahna' mandir standing at one end brightly lit and her feet led that way, as if on a will of their own. It was a marble mandir with intricate floral design around and in between was the statue of Kahna smiling all the way. Swara pressed her hands together and closed eyes. She didn't know what to ask for ...There was nothing she could wish, for her every wish had always been...him.

No longer, she reminded herself or maybe he never was hers. She held back tears. She's not gonna cry today, as she promised to herself. A soft hand touched her head. Swara opened her eyes to find Annapurna, her serene self

Annapurna was the first one to find Swara. While rest had been busy looking around, the sight of Swara before 'her kahna', was a pleasing one. It reminded her of a sight she pictured when Swara sang 'bhajan,' in the mandir. Her voice had been ringing in her heart for many days and being almost sure Swara would soon be a part of the family, she wished every morning would have a pious beginning and every evening would end, promising a better tomorrow, with her soulful voice.

Alas.

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It was Annapurna's blessings, of her every wish to come to true, moved Swara as her little gesture of putting kaala teeka; a black dot behind her neck to wade off any evil eye.

"Bahut sundar lag rai ho ..kahi meri nazar na lag jaaye" she said.

As she bent to seek blessings, it was reciprocated by a warm motherly hug. Kavita fumed at the sight. So Swara spelt her cast on Maheswari's too. All their smiles were clipped and words calculated for her..but for Swara, it was all open and warm.

Not just Annapurna, Parineeta, Adarsh and even Durgaprasad who never said a word to her ...each of them greeted her as a member of the family.

Kavita felt like an alien. The entry of Gadodias just grated her further. What are they doing here? Sumitra didn't know Gadodias and Maheswaris shared such a close connection. She definitely was not happy at the association.

Ragini was already making her way towards the dais with a smile, which irked Kavita

"We are from the groom's side." She announced proudly for their benefit. The underlying message was taken. It was a dare. Try to get me out of her.

So she's gonna hang around. Kavita didn't like the feeling.

"Congrats," Ragini gave a wide fake smile and rushed to meet her best friend, hugging her, gushing about how gorgeous she's looking, joined by Janaki and Ram who looked like an extended family.

It felt like Swara has an army of people around her. Few caring and loving, Few protective and few dangerous ones, she thought eyeing Ragini. She needs to be careful with her moves.

Then came Sanskaar, followed by Laksh.

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Sanskaar, dressed in a cream and pink sherwani would definitely have had the statement of 'Pink is for girl's 'rethinking. It was not. He owned the colour like a pro with such ease which would put entire girl clan to shame.

Swara forget to blink, watching him. He looked nothing less than a prince and smile just exuded his charm. 'Prince Charming', she thought subconsciously.

Their gazes clashed at the end of the stairs for a minute. Swara didn't breathe for the next few minutes totally transfixed, neither did he. For one flight of moment, It felt he would hold her hand and take her away ..far away from all this.

Only when he walked away, reality dawned upon. It was not for 'her'. It should have been...

Swara blinked through tears watching Kavita and Sanskaar's stand before each other smile and pick rings. She can't take this. Holding back tears, She did what's she's good at, stepped away and disappeared.

He toyed with the ring, his eyes searching for her...and she was missing. What did he expect? She would come running, declare her love and claim him before everyone.

He admitted, she looked more beautiful than he imagined her. She looked gorgeous with silk flowing around her softly and frills dancing their way. Like a princess. He didn't want to take his eyes off her, grab her hand, whisk her off away.

Oh! For the first time he wished, he had a flying horse.

He slipped the ring on Kavita's finger blankly his thoughts around Swara. A look at the ring, Kavits' smile faded. This is not the one from the store. Not this simple one. What about that huge sparkling diamond, she had her hopes on. Was it not for her?

When it was time for Sanskaar, he gave his other hand, not the right one. He had a bandage covering his entire palm. He assured a worried Annapurna and family, he was fine. It was just an accident ... courtesy drink glass

Ragini eyed Laksh suspiciously at the statement.

"My plan.' Laksh murmured standing next to her.

As expected, Ragini shook her head. "Are you trying to pull a DDLJ with your friend?" she inquired, mildly amused.

"I just gave an idea. I never thought he would break it for real." He nodded at a surprised Ragini. "C' mon, your friend already has so many rings wrapped around my friend's heart. You really think he would let someone else in.Never."

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Swara didn't know the way around the mansion, she blindly walked in empty corridors and found herself on terrace soon. Finally, a space to breathe and let her pain out. And she had no clue how many minutes passed by as she stood under the open sky, dark and clear

"Happy tears, I assume." His words came from behind.

Alert at once, Swara wiped her tears. He shouldn't be here.

"Of course! That was a stupid question," He stood before her in a blink and flash. "Your sister got her love. You must be the happiest, Right, Swara! shedding these tears." His thumb brushed away a tear gently.

And Swara wanted to run. She could bear his anger, not love which will crumble her will. But he was too quick to grab her hand.

"Sans..kaar, "Swara took his name with a broken voice.

"Running away again, are you, Swara?"He pulled her, had his hands tight around her, no mere inch of space left between them. His fingers curled into her hair tugging her an inch closer.

"You think you would get away with it"

His breath met hers and it was a desperate clawing need to look into those eyes. She couldn't look away either. There was no escape, not from the fire in them...daring her, drawing her in.

"You think you would? Just like that night when you walked in that little red dress and black mask, danced your way into my life and ran away with my heart."

And Swara looked at him stunned. Every or any trace of doubt lingering in her mind vanished that very moment. He knew...and he had always known, it was her. She had known it too, deep down. Then why didn't he deny her lie and played along?

"and you do that again and again" He accused.

It was then she noticed his bleeding hand."Sanskaar ...tumhara haath." Alarmed she held his hand, worry taking over.

He jerked his hand out of hers. "Pity ..You can't see my heart bleeding. I wish I could tear it apart and show you ...how much it hurts." The mock was clear as pain.

Did he have to kill her with words? She was ready to bear his every accusation, but his hand...Her eyes brimmed with fresh tears, as a thin line of blood ran down his wrist.

"Sanskaar Pehle neeche, Chalo .. let's get your hand dressed.Please."

She loved him, cared for him, but wouldn't say a word and bleed with him. And the thought was enraging that she would put 'them' at stake for silly demands of her sister. All feelings he bottled up rippled through him. at once.Frustration, longing and all those questions eating him up. The bleeding hand was the least of his concern.

He grabbed her back.

"How could you just hand over me to your so-called sister? How could you stand there and watch someone lay claim on me and do nothing, Swara? Play with my feelings then throw me away like some lifeless toy? How?"

Rage and pain, she felt in every word, he breathed and she welcomed them in silence which only pushed him to veer off the edge. He dragged her down to the wall, backed her up ...with a force knocking her breath.

Hurt was clear in his eyes and it was a deepest she ever felt. And it wasn't alien to her. It became a way of living. It was a pain they both shared as was love.

And for once he wished she wouldn't stop looking at him. He wanted her to see and read his eyes. Hadn't he been clear enough of his feelings, his madness for her? If not with words ...at least in his eyes. It was all out open for her, had always been. And somewhere the rage died down slowly. Those eyes could fire him and melt him ..and he stood helpless drowning in them.

"This would have been our day. Our special day.Yours and mine." Those words came softest of all.

Somewhere their fingers linked together as one. Her heart dipped at the images flashed, crystal clear.

They were standing before each other, totally in love, holding hands musing ...and the picture promised happiness, smiles for the future.

"I would have held your hand and made you wear this."His breathy whisper had her trembling. She didn't quite get the meaning of words, till she felt and caught diamonds sparkling on her finger, shining all the way. An engagement ring.

"Sanskaar ...ye.."

"Shhhh," His fingers touched her lips and every word died down."Don't take this moment away, Swara. This is ours."His whispered pleas had her crumbled.

Silence fell upon them like a blanket as they gazed at each other. And every little sensation became clear. The caress of the breeze as the sound of breath, thumping hearts and pooling tears.His questions, her answers.

Her lips quivered at the touch of his. Gentle, delicate strokes. One after another, again and again...and he whispered those words softly like a chant.

Don't..let me go.

Her fingers curled into folds of his sherwani n answer. She won't ...How did she ever think, she could run away from him...let him go when he owned her by heart and soul. Her hands went around drawing him close.

Time suspended itself for several million seconds as they breathed each other like one. There was blood and tears, pain and pleasure.

Swara and Sanskaar.

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Everything lost count...

...a stroke on her cheek. Swara sighed behind closed eyes..let the feeling sink in.

"You always wanted to know if there was another woman in life?" She opened her eyes at his words, his voice, now a clear baritone. There was a time when she wanted to. How could she forget that heartbreaking moment in the coffee shop? All those times when she wanted to ask but was scared ...now. If she brought herself up to lose him, She could take another blow too, however fatal it was.

She nodded, dreading.

"YOU"

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Thanks for reading. Do let me know your thoughts.

Love

Lucky