AFTERSOME: ASTONISHED TO THINK BACK ON THE BIZARRE SEQUENCE OF ACCIDENTS THAT BROUGHT YOU WHERE YOU ARE TODAY

It took some time for all of us to gather around since everyone lived in different areas. Changkyun had a goth Hanbyul with him who stared at me with a look of deep concern. More than anyone else, these two knew well that I had been detaching from everything again, almost like the time the incident with my ex happened.

Minhyuk was late hurrying back from his job as a teaching assistant. Jooheon too hurried back from his part-time at the mall. It was a Sunday, thus the bowling alley was buzzing with teens and young people who had too much time to spend. Jooheon had said nothing and just left, he told us that still wearing his red and white job shirt.

"I think my job is gone. Man, when you called me I just had to rush in. I honestly am worried about Wonho," Jooheon told me as he swiped a hand across his sweaty forehead. The autumn weather was supposed to be colder, but it was balmy today, waves of heat radiating from the twelve o clock sun.

It just made me realize, that the earth would still be rotating, and would be finely orbiting around the sun even when Wonho would be gone a day later.

I could only vaguely listen to the conversation playing out surrounding me after that.

"I will surely miss my job though, it wasn't a bad one." Jooheon laughed heartily, probably trying to dissolve the tense atmosphere revolving around us, or at least, me.

"I won't really miss it. Why does this bullshit professor want me there even on weekends?" Minhyuk ran a hand through his blazing blonde hair and shook his head a little to the sides. "Either he is really lonely or is interested in me. I guess it's the latter."

"You still work for the physics professor?" Hyungwon asked.

"Ah, yeah," Minhyuk gazed at him thoughtfully. Then he showed Hyungwon a genial smile and nodded at him in acknowledgment. "It's been some time since I saw you, Hyungwon, right? I can't remember if I'd told you about my job. You seem to have a good memory."

Among everyone Shownu was the first to arrive since he lived closer to Wonho's area. Kihyun joined soon after Shownu, with his brown curls and scrunched-up brows. They both said they hadn't seen Wonho in some time, not in the music department, nor in the kendo club.

With a heavy aura of desolation circling us, we made it towards the tiny apartment building where Wonho lived and ascended to the third floor. Almost everyone stayed quiet, or it was just me fine-tuning out the rest, like a broken walkman that could no longer find a stable transmission.

It had been some time since I saw Wonho, it really was. Before the anxiety about this late and sudden meeting could build up in me, he was already with one foot outside his front door, his keys jangling in his hands.

He was going out. And he looked completely natural.

Maybe not really. His complexion was so pale he almost looked translucent, as if I could see through him and peer at his glass heart with a dead rose deep within it. Though, he's always been pale.

His hair was a mixture of ashen gray and faded black, the bleached blond color was dissipating already. He wore a hoodie the color of the gray of his hair.

Among the others I could see his eyes on me, just taking me in for a second, then he averted his stare and observed the rest.

"What's the occasion guys?" His lips broke out into a big smile that took over his whole face.

Suddenly, the tense air was gone and I could feel Changkyun's shoulders dropping in relief as he was standing just by my side. I was still rigid, holding my breath and looking for even a subtle sign.

"We haven't seen you in ages, man!" Changkyun busted out, the joy visible in his boisterous tone.

"You can't up and vanish like that, bro. We worry. Your phone has been off too." I could imagine the sulk on Jooheon's face by his remark from the back.

"I don't want to sound rude but I kind of want to punch you, Wonho," Minhyuk said next.

"I think, me too," Hanbyul whispered, and then Wonho laughed out, finally moving another step towards us.

"I'm just going out to get the groceries." His coal eyes with long eyelashes and bluish circles around them looked over at me, he gave a small smile towards my way. Probably no one else noticed it, but I did, and I could finally feel my shoulders loosening up.

"I see that you're here to whoop my back too, Hyungwon." Wonho recognized Hyungwon right away.

Hyungwon only grunted in response.

"We've missed you in the kendo club. The juniors kept on asking about you," Shownu said.

"Are you taking this semester off?" Kihyun asked earnestly, but then his voice deflated a little. "We are already so close to the finals; you will at least attend those, right?"

Wonho exhaled a small breath of air and nodded at him, that smile still lingering on his face. "You guys needn't worry. You all know I'm always like this," he left out a small chuckle, turned around and locked his apartment's door. "This was Sunny's idea, wasn't it?"

Before anyone could say anything, he spoke again. "I would want you guys inside but-," his eyes scanned over our faces. "I really need to go shopping. Need to buy my mom's medicines and a few weeks of grocery supplies for her."

Why would he need to buy few weeks of supplies so urgently? I could feel all the blood rushing to my head again, defying gravity like a waterfall going upward its stream. I felt mild vertigo, everything spun around me for a second.

"Why are you hoarding stuff? You guys are in quarantine?" Changkyun brawled, I could hear some of them snickering with that.

Wonho laughed a little and averted his eyes. "Mom doesn't like going out."

There wasn't much to do anymore. Contented seeing Wonho, the others were ready to leave too. We descended the stairs with him, everyone laughing and joking as if everything was okay, except for me and Hyungwon. His placid face showed a subtle sign of bewilderment.

All this time, I had said nothing. When he was finally parting with the rest, he glanced at my way and I just had to utter out something.

"How are you Wonho?" That slipped my tongue before I could fathom it. I did wonder, I always did, if he was actually okay.

Only Hanbyul and Hyungwon seemed to have heard it, except for the one the question was asked to.

Minhyuk, Shownu, and Jooheon were going with Wonho to help him shop and they were already way ahead. Kihyun had to prepare for finals so he left early. And Changkyun was hailing a taxi for him and Hanbyul.

"Of course, I am alright," he said. Not smiling for the first time since I had seen him today. He said it like an early morning news person stating out the daily mundane happenings.

"Bye, Sunny," he said next, the gentle smile back on his face. Soon he caught up to the others, and I watched his retreating back, knowing that this could be the last time I would ever see him.

"I really don't understand this man," Hanbyul commented from my side.

The sky was suddenly overcast with a nebula of dark clouds. Hyungwon and I trudged alone, separated from the rest as we lived together (and in all honesty, I couldn't but refuse when Changkyun and Hanbyul offered us to have a meal with them; nothing was alright for me to act alright).

Before it could start raining, Hyungwon and I flagged down a vacant cab and hopped inside. It didn't rain though. I just mindlessly stared outside, watching everything blearily pass by.

"If he does not end up, somehow, doing it..."

"How are you sure about that?" Hyungwon cut in before I could finish, his small voice blending with the hum of the engine of the car.

I could smell the damped murky weather from outside, even while sitting inside having an artificial coziness wrapped around me. Of course, Hyungwon knew way better than me.

"If," I emphasized, my eyes darting towards my hands limply folded on my lap. And I couldn't help but focus on the multicolored bracelet on my left hand, shiny beads of different forms and shapes, dulled down for the amount of usage.

Was I wearing the one Wonho gave me, or the one Hyungwon brought me from his universe? Ultimately, they all were from Wonho, or his dead brother.

"If that's the case, or if it isn't, you can't stay here, can you?" I asked, avoiding looking at the boy beside me.

"If," he elucidated loudly, "if he lives, there's a possibility that you can end up being with him instead of my dad."

I couldn't help but sneer, a bitter one. Somehow my eyes were blurrier than before, and when I looked at the window I wondered if it was the rain splashing against the taxi window, but no, it hadn't started pouring yet.

Feeling my disbelief, Hyungwon continued in a barely audible voice, "Or someone else. At that point, the possibility of me being born here will cease to exist. I can't stay somewhere where I don't exist. The bracelet-" he said, probably noticing me staring at it, "And I am not the same. It's an object but a living being can fairly well be destroyed."

"You can go back in your own time, right? You said you figured it out." I couldn't tell if I remembered well, I probably did. He did tell me that.

However, Hyungwon did not answer.

"Whatever happens this time, don't travel back again. You should go to your home Hyungwon, you have to. You did your best," I said a little absent-mindedly and I shut my eyes right after.

Exhaustion took over, my highly rushing blood now streaming slower, and slower until it felt like even my breathing had stopped. I didn't hear Hyungwon say anything, I couldn't.

Because at that time, I could only focus on the fact that Wonho gave away his dead brother's bracelet for me to keep when he said that he always had it with him before.

He quit clubs after clubs and only later turned to kendo, because it kept him busy, kept his mind off from something else.

He could never fall asleep, he spent his nights reading complicated books or watching movies.

"Do you think when someone dies they can live among the stars?"

He never made any promises, he never wanted to go an extra mile with me because he did not want to lead me on.

He changed his hair color abruptly and kept on changing it, his sense of style also changed drastically, as if he was trying to find himself again, or just holding onto something for a short while. He started to wear full sleeves more often. Even when it was hot outside.

"You are the sun and the moon. I'm just a distant star, Sunny."

Finally, the teardrops fell from my eyes. There was something wrong with Wonho from the very beginning, and I had chosen to make myself believe otherwise.

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A/n: last chapter next week. Do things ever change or they just don't?