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2 6 | Until There Was You

Surprisingly, Jude was awake before anyone else the following morning. Outside the air was musky and dense, a swirl of fog wrapping around the crooked roofs and under the vibrant skyline. An unusual scent of pine loomed in the air, drenching Jude's hoodie in that same familiar smell. The shaky roads vibrated under the cars that wheeled past. Jude wanted to capture that moment, listening to the world sway around him as he pictured up realities and fantasies. All it's earthy, false tones and fading, dark shades.

"Something on your mind?" Lincoln questioned when he stepped out of the room and into the air, glaring at a concentrated Jude. It took a minute before he responded and let his own notions gather up. Then he pulled his hood over his head and responded.

"Nah, I just don't think I got enough sleep last night," he informed, rubbing a hand over his perplexed features. Everything was so tense all of a sudden.

"Why? You nervous or something?"

"Maybe," he admitted, flattening a few lingering rocks on the broken concrete. The nervousness was present in his actions: the way he fiddled with the strings of his hoodie, staring off into thought, and how he continued to replay the exchange between him and Waverly last night. He'd be seeing Waverly's dad hours from now, how could he not freak out. He had no clue how it would go. Not only that, but it forced him to think of his parents and how distraught everything was back home.

Silence crept in like a shiver of wind, strangling all his limbs and arteries. So tight that it almost felt real. Jude could hardly focus on one thing without his mind drifting to another. He felt suffocated in some ways.

"You have nothing to worry about. Just enjoy the trip while you can."

There was a lot to worry about.

"Yeah, don't remind me," he muttered, more frustrated than before. Then an idea piqued his interest. "But what if we didn't go back?"

It sounded like a joke when he said it aloud, it seemed.

"What if we didn't go back?" Lincoln repeated sarcastically with a laugh. "What the hell world are you living in Lockhart?"

It barely took a second for Jude to respond to the question, it was almost an instant answer—a knowing reaction.

"A world where responsibilities don't exist. Imagine a world like that, Linc. No adulthood. No problems. Complete freedom. Living your life on the road. Everything's unpredictable. I've never been this happy away from home, and just to think...just to think that it'll all change when I go back, it only makes me want to stay."

"Look, Lockhart, I know you've been through some crazy shit, but so does everyone else. It's fucking life. When it's not rainbows and sunshine it's problematic. You just have to have the balls to go through it. You can't always run from your duties. It's a part of growing up."

Jude reflected on Lincoln's words, but maybe he had been looking at the situation wrong. He hadn't put things in perspective the entire time. Nevertheless, Lincoln had been right. He had to give up that childish part of himself that screamed fear. Fear was just an illusion, imprinted to feel.

"I sound like my Pops. Can't believe I actually took a page out of his book," Lincoln said with a soft laugh. Then with a heavy smile, he spoke again, the kind of smile that'd creep somebody out if they hadn't known Lincoln. "You should go wake your girlfriend so we can start moving."

"Shut the hell up," Jude replied, but laughed and turned back to that all-serious demeanor. "Hey, thanks for that, man. I really needed a pep talk."

"Anytime," he insisted, but before Jude had the time to enter the room Waverly had been occupying, she stepped out with the belongings she brought into the room. Her gaze was caught between the previous exchange between Lincoln and Jude. The sun had barely hit her eyes, but a bright haze of dark oak brown and light streams still danced and made her skin glow. Jude's smoke irises, almost an onyx silver, glimpsed over Waverly's facial features longer than what was subtle. Everything suddenly popped more and he hadn't realized he had been staring so intensely at her. But she didn't mind, not really.

"You guys are talking without me?" She wondered in a playful manner. Jude had a hunch she was putting on an act because maybe she was still panicking on the inside. He didn't call her out on it and instead smiled at her, wrapping an arm over her shoulders and pressing a kiss onto her forehead. A soft, delicate kiss that tickled his stomach. The kind that would feel featherlight all over her body. Even though the action was so small, his stomach churned and prickled like spikes on a cactus clawing at him because acts of such were still new to him when it came to her. He was still trying to figure her out, oblivious to the fact that it was impossible. She was almost impossibly unsolvable. Like a difficult riddle with hints and different answers.

She looked at him out of curiosity, but the corners of her lips twitched in spite of her words. "What was that for?"

"For good luck," Jude teased like the playful teenager he was. She pushed him away, rolling her eyes and walking to the car. Lincoln agreed with Jude as they laughed and joked, entering the car in satisfaction. And from the looks of it, the ride looked longer than anticipated. If they didn't leave then they'd be caught in traffic. According to the sun, there was still time before that roadblock occurred, but the way Jude had stolen a glimpse at Waverly said she wanted that roadblock.

And maybe the idea in his head to stay earlier didn't sound as crazy.

Instead of speaking though, Jude took his right hand—the one he wasn't using to steer—and wrapped his fingers in Waverly's for reassurance. He didn't think of the comments Lincoln would say or if Waverly would retort or laugh saying how stupid it was. He just thought about the now and future; how it all made sense. So he blocked all of it out, cruising down that unfamiliar highway with his own form of liberation hanging out of his back pocket.

Waverly didn't pull away and Jude thought just this once he knew they both needed this.

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Along the roadsides, the timbers aged and the light streamed in the holey roofs that illuminated dust like confetti. There were a few abandoned houses here and there with swerving dirt roads, leading up to empty homes. Beyond that, images of mountains and tree lines blended with the horizon, where the sun gleamed in mischief through the glass from which Jude peered from. It was disappearing, minute after minute.

Waverly commanded Jude to turn and take exits that got them closer to their destination. With each turn, his stomach sunk. And when they finally pulled up in front of a house that seemed to match the others, Jude assumed they were in the wrong place. A few miles away from this particular house was a gas station and after that more mountains and houses. Jude wasn't sure how long it would take to find a store, but he didn't focus his mind on that specifically.

"Is this it?" Lincoln questioned, leaning forward to gaze at the property like Jude and Waverly.

"Fortunately," she sighed then her expression drastically. "This was stupid."

"Oh fuck no. We didn't drive all the way here for nothing," Lincoln informed. "You chickening out, Waverly? That's so unlike you."

"Want me to go with you?" Jude insisted, turning the key and taking it out of the ignition.

"Firstly I'm not chickening out, you ass. Secondly, yes Jude," she replied, unbuckling her seatbelt and rubbing her hands over her pants.

"Well go in and knock 'em dead," Lincoln responded as she left.

Jude waited until she exited and tossed the keys in the backseat for Lincoln, he caught them with ease, and Jude closed the door. He followed Waverly up to the entrance and shoved his hands in his pocket when she began knocking. The quiet of the day sauntered in, noises of evening and afternoon growling around them. Waverly didn't look back at Jude as she knocked two more times and rang the doorbell that was probably broken.

After about three minutes, Waverly turned.

"I don't think he's here," she assumed going the way they came. Jude stared at the door one last time before he turned too, but then the door swung open and a grouchy man appeared.

"Who are you?" He asked, mainly to Jude. The swing of the door and his persona made him a little more intimidating, but Jude held his ground as Waverly turned around and met the eyes of her father. He looked between the both of them, still confused overall, but then it was as if a light flipped. Did he recognize his own daughter?

"Waverly," she responded, slowly and softly. "And this is my boyfriend...Jude."

"Waverly? Waverly," He repeated, skimming over her features again, and Jude witnessed the precious moment. So beautiful in itself. "What are you doing here? H-how did you find me? Does your mom know you're here? Come in."

Waverly began to walk towards the entrance. Jude, however, was still awestruck with the title Waverly had given him. He wasn't used to it yet and he couldn't deny the way his heart swelled. Finally, he snapped out of his reverie and followed her in. Well, he attempted to follow her in because the unnamed man glared at him.

"You stay here, white boy," he commanded.

"I'm sorry, I can't do that."

There was no disrespect in his voice, only honesty, and concern for Waverly. He knew Waverly was fully capable of going in on her own, but Jude didn't really know the guy and wasn't sure if he could trust what he had been saying from barely a sentence. In frankness, he didn't trust the guy, who sighed as a response.

"You have guts kid, but if you ever disrespect me like that again I won't go easy on you," he finalized, pulling Jude's hood off when he walked past. When Jude entered, he saw Waverly staring at pictures of her younger self. Pictures of memories she barely remembered, but even he knew those pictures were of her and her family, happy once upon a time. But it was just a picture, one that said a thousand words. Aside from those images near the television and the worn-out sofa, it was hard to tell if anyone really lived there, but it was only one room in the house that he saw that matched his assumption.

"Why don't you have a seat, Waves?" He insisted, taking a seat on the loveseat that sat across from them. Jude sat next to her, hoping that he wouldn't say anything to point out the fact that he was in the house nevertheless. Beside Jude, it looked as if Waverly was gaining up the courage to ask what she needed to—why she came here, moreover. Jude knew she needed answers to her unanswered questions.

Jude looked at the guy closer, it seemed, and he realized how many features she had that resembled her dad. They were definitely there and there was no doubt the man had been related to her.

"So, what are you doing here?" He asked and Jude could feel Waverly tense up beside him.

"I came to see you...and get answers. I haven't seen you in years and I want the truth," she pointed out.

"The truth, hm?" He asked. "Well, what do you want to know?"

"How'd you and mom meet?"

"We were both young and reckless, much like you and James here."

"Jude," Jude corrected and Waverly's dad glared at him as a result. He brushed that little error off, listening in on the conversation once again.

"I didn't love her the way she loved me. I took advantage of her feelings and in the blink of an eye you were there."

"Your mom probably never talks about me, and I'm not surprised if she doesn't. It was just one-sided and you don't deserve to know how much of an asshole I was back then, and now."

"So you left her? Me? Because you didn't feel the same way. This entire time you abandoned us because you didn't think it would work? That's fucking sad and pathetic. You didn't give us a chance," she snapped at the realization.

He chuckled.

"You are your mother's child. You definitely got your attitude from her," he reminded with a grin, almost as if her words were transparent, faded.

Do you even care? Do you know how long it took me to find you? It was like you wanted to disappear from the world. From me."

"Of course, I care. You're my daughter, Waverly," he said and Jude wanted to hug Waverly, he wanted to hold her and tell her that it was going to be alright. "Anyway, how are you doing in school? Do you have a job? Any plans? I see you're into white boys, wish I raised you better."

His gaze stopped on Jude. Frantic, Jude's face drained and he looked everywhere else but at the man and Waverly. There was no shame, only humiliation because he had been in the spotlight. This guy was a dick and had no filter. He was talking to Waverly as if he had seen her months before and they were catching up like old friends now—completely changed. Waverly scoffed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She muttered mostly to herself. Then shook her head and obtained focus. "What made you abandon us?"

"I wish I was there, but I just wasn't ready to have kids at the time. I wasn't ready to dedicate my life to raising a child I wasn't prepared for. You weren't supposed to exist Waverly. I didn't want a family. Your mom knew this and yet she kept you," he informed.

"I...I wasn't supposed to exist," her eyes looked glossy and ready to burst. It seemed to hit her hard, like a slap to the face. He had never seen her get so emotional, despite her seeing him at his worst. Jude nearly flinched at the man's words too, a sting thundering in his chest. It almost seemed as if everyone in the room, the three of them, had waited for Waverly's dad to object and take it back. He didn't. He barely lifted a finger at his harshness. With a shaky voice, Waverly spoke, sounding so frail and on edge. "Thanks for the explanation. I think I got what I was looking for, and you know what fuck you."

She stood up and stormed out of the house with the slam of the door, shaking the unstable walls. Jude stood up and looked at the man.

"The hell you looking at?" He snapped, basically snarling at Jude.

Jude wanted to say something back, to point out how he had been missing out on his daughter and all the amazing characteristics she consisted of, but instead, he said an insult that would've gotten his ass beat if he were standing a little closer.

"Fuck you."

Then he left to retrieve Waverly. When he caught up to her she was staring at the sky with her hands in her head.

"I told you guys this was a waste of time," she reminded, refusing to meet Jude's gaze. "I shouldn't have come here. Fuck him and his validation."

"At least you got closure. You don't have to see him ever again if you choose not to."

"I know. My expectations were definitely too high. I don't know why I thought it'd go well. It doesn't even matter."

"Hey, it's okay. I promise," he whispered as he pulled her into a hug. The moment crashed, falling like snow because now the truth sat aligned between them.

"Can we go? This place is starting to make me sick."

"Yeah."

They made their way back to the car where Lincoln was jamming to the music from the radio in the front seat. And although meeting Waverly's dad wasn't ideal, Lincoln's humor and oblivious actions were enough to make Waverly smile. Still, Jude saw the sadness on her face; it wasn't hard to miss.

And so the rest of the ride was filled with self-reflection and how everything would feel when they got back—for the three of them. When they finally arrived, it was late, but they were back and it was all that mattered for now. Even after all the chaos.

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TO BE CONTINUED

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