Vivianna was starting to hate road trips.

It was much less awful this time around, despite Kai's disappointment at her rejecting yet another one of his advances. But that didn't stop her from feeling irritated each time they had to drive for so long.

"We could have flown," said Kai once they were already eleven hours into their first day of the trip, also known as 'Day Thirty-Two' of Vivianna being in the prison world.

"I don't want to fly," she said. "It's fine. Seven more hours and we'll reach Dallas."

"And where are we gonna stay? Didn't exactly have that much time to plan a route."

"I marked freeways and some places to spend the night. It's fine. I lived in Dallas from 1999 to 2002. The house I lived in will exist in 1994, but it won't have anything of mine. Still, that house means something to me."

"What does it mean, Vivi?"

"It was where I discovered I was a Traveler. The signs appear when you're twelve. It's why we had to leave Dallas. We had to get a host for me to be passengered in."

"And what was your favorite part of Dallas?"

"I don't really remember a lot of individual things about those places. We moved so often... I've called twenty-four different cities 'home.' And we were constantly moving apartments and houses even when we could be in one city for a total of three years. My parents could never afford any place for two long. I never had consistent friends. We'd always lose touch after awhile."

"Wow. You're lucky you had friends at all."

She frowned. "You must have had a friend at some point."

Kai shrugged. "Nope. Jo and I went to the same elementary school. Just for Geminis. I was always in a desk away from everyone. While they learned magic, I was instructed to read. I picked up on things, obviously, but I could never practice. Didn't have magic of my own.

"Jo was the popular girl, everyone knew she was gonna do the Merge one day with me. But everyone also knew what the older folks said in low voices. Everyone had a feeling that I'd beat Jo. 'Cause even without a constant stream of powers... I have an extra ability. If I sucked in enough magic to make me a witch like Jo... while retaining my siphoning... I'd be unstoppable. They knew she had no chance of winning, which is why my parents kept having kids. It made everyone more afraid of me.

"Middle school was a bit better. Not many people knew who I really was. Those who did made everyone else steer clear of me. I had one pal, I guess, who sat with me at lunch, but that was only 'cause he paid me to do his homework. I was smart, but my dad managed to keep teachers from rewarding me for it. Guess he didn't want anyone encouraging me.

"High school was the worst. By then, word had spread that I was just some 'freak.' I got into fights all the time in gym class. Had to let the steam off somehow. Then in college, I just went to lectures and didn't talk to anyone. I wasn't used to having people wanting to chat anyway. If I did talk to people, it was just those I wanted to sleep with. And I'd never see them again, so it was all very temporary."

It was dawning on Vivianna that she was truly the first person that had been 'friendly' to him. The only one who had stuck by his side. Given him something to talk about, even if it wasn't always pleasant.

Kai figured this was why he couldn't help but keep her alive, at his side. He needed someone to hear him. Someone who could talk back, whether it was with something positive or negative. He might go as far as to consider her a friend. But he figured she didn't feel the same way about him.

"Screw those people who were assholes without knowing you," said Vivianna. "My brother used to say that if they're judging and believing rumors that other people spread, they're not worth the calories it takes to even think about them. Like jeez, at least get to know someone before you decide they're shitty."

"Wow, thanks," he said sarcastically.

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"Never thought a little Traveler would be making me feel so worthy."

She rolled her eyes, and he reached over, pulling her cheek. "Aw, is wittle Vivi upsetti spaghetti that Big-Bad-Malachai knows she likes him?"

"I do not like you," she said, brushing his hand away. "Especially not when I know that you just wanna fuck me and leave forever."

"Why does it matter if I stay or not? Genuinely curious. I thought you wanted nothing to do with me."

"You can't just fuck someone and never look back," she said, turning red. "When I sleep with someone for the first time, I don't want it to be a one-night-stand. When I find out what it's all like for the first time, I want to learn everything that I enjoy for future nights. I want it to be with someone I trust, and someone I trust wouldn't just walk away. I'd want to be able to talk to them about it later so I can find out what works for me, what doesn't. I don't need it to be special, I just want it to be informative, so that later on, I know what I want out of sex. It hurts, thinking that you're just gonna leave while I'm asleep, and I'll wake and just find a used condom in the trash."

Kai was silent for a second. "I just assumed you didn't want it to be more than that."

"Do you just want it to be a one-time-thing?"

"I've never really had it be more."

"It's not that you're bad looking or anything. But if it's not gonna be more than once for me to learn and enjoy, then I don't want my first time to be with you."

"If I agreed to teach you... as many times as it takes... you would be more willing?"

"Maybe."

"I can do that."

"But you'd be forcing yourself out of your comfort zone. That's not the point."

"You have no idea how willing I am to do that if it means having sex."

Vivianna shook her head, bringing her legs up to her chest and leaning against the door. "It's probably better that we don't."

"I'm not good at this shit, Vivi, you have to tell me what the hell you want, explicitly."

"I want it to be a more permanent arrangement, okay?" she said. "I've tried. I've tried so hard to just let go and do it with people when I've been in my real body. But when I don't know them, I don't feel anything. Doesn't matter how hot they are, I don't want them anywhere near me. I don't have any desire to have them seeing me naked. With you I... you've been someone I've known for a longer period of time, while in my proper body. What we've had to do to survive... to try and get out... I think about it and suddenly you just seem like the right person. I didn't used to think about anyone like that... until suddenly I just found myself thinking of you that way. I don't know why, Malachai. That's why I don't feel comfortable with it being a one-time-thing. You're the first person I've felt safe enough with... even though you almost murdered me."

"I think you might just be demisexual," he told her. "What, don't give me that look, I'm aware of certain things, okay? I think it means you don't feel sexual attraction until you've formed some sort of bond with someone. We formed a survival bond. We had to. May not exactly be the bond you're looking for, but that's probably why you think I'm a good person for this. Newsflash, I'm not. I don't feel shit like that, Vivi. I don't really care if it hurts your feelings or not. I feel lust, and a whole lot of it, and I see you, and all I can think about is going at it until you can't even move. But yeah, I don't care about the aftermath. I don't care about doing it again unless that lust spikes up another time with you. I won't feel like being in a relationship because I can't exactly form them. I'm a fucking sociopath. I can't give you what you want, Vivi."

She looked disappointed, but she understood. "I guess I just wish that you could. I don't know how long it'll take me to be able to feel like this with someone else. Will it take years of building trust? Or just weeks? Or am I gonna be stupid and feel it within a matter of days like I did with you?"

"Why does that make you stupid?"

"Look at us! I've killed you twice to save my own skin, once at your request. You stabbed me then performed surgery on me. We can't even consistently get along. I'm an idiot for feeling this connection with someone who can't feel it for me in return."

He let go of the accelerator so the car could glide to a stop, and turned to grab her face, holding it firmly. "You're right, Vivi, I can't care for you in whatever way you care for me. I'll never love you even if you start to love me so much, it hurts you. I'm a sociopath. A murderer. I enjoy hurting people.

"I've thought about hurting you so many more times than what I've actually done. I want to do dirty and terrible things to you because you make me feel this confusing shit I don't understand. You make it so fucking hard for me to understand what emotions I am and am not capable of. And it all circles back to me remembering that it's because of your people that I'm like this. And it's because of my people that you're like this.

"Doesn't matter what we fucking feel when we're togther, 'cause we're not supposed to be feeling it in the first place. So get over it, Vivi. Whatever you're feeling for me, just stop. 'Cause I don't want to hurt you, but I will, unless you hurt me first. I feel sick just thinking that I might accidentally kill you. I'm not supposed to feel sick with that.

"I'm supposed to like the idea of gutting you, but I don't. I'm just gonna end up hurting you. And I really don't want to do that. So I'm gonna stop insisting that you fuck me. 'Cause now you're getting all these crazy ideas about wanting us to be more, and I can't stand that. I can't be committed to you that way. You deserve someone way better."

She gulped when he pulled away, and put the car in park. "Switch seats," he said a bit more gruffly. "I don't know where your house is. You gotta find it."

"Right," she said quietly.

They arrived in Dallas after spending eighteen hours of that day just driving. They found the house, and Vivianna quickly took her things up to the room she'd had before slamming the door shut, and not emerging for the rest of the night.

Kai felt like an idiot. Why did he even open his mouth? Was she just going to give him the cold shoulder now? He felt like he'd had to be honest. He knew that if he kept faking it, kept insisting, he was just going to break her heart. He could picture her, crying and looking miserable. And he hated that image. He didn't want to be the one hurting her. He had to quit while he was ahead.

The next day was somewhat the same. A total of seventeen hours driving, from Dallas to Odessa, then to Las Cruces, and finally to Yuma, where they spent the night. Again in separate rooms. Speaking only when they needed to ask if the other was hungry so that they could stop and grab a bite.

Day Thirty-Four started with Vivianna and her usual calendar, making a note that it was June 3rd, 2012 in the real world. Over a month of being in the prison world. Today was the day they were really going to start gathering the dark objects.

She drove them from Yuma to San Diego, to the house her parents had lived in when she was just a baby. She found a box of old things labeled 'ZIMA' in the backyard, and found several old clothes and dark objects her parents had left behind.

"Most of the Travelers' dark objects are really small and simple," she explained, holding up a bag of marbles. "This is it for this house. These are meant to be thrown at a group of witches, and they'll explode and put them all in a mass sleep, giving us time to run." She bit her lip, and then shook her head.

"What?" asked Kai. "What's that for?"

"Just wondering," she said quietly. "If my parents might have been able to save their own lives if they'd had these with them." She just shrugged it off, trying to act unbothered. "We'll organize the dark objects in the real world so you can try to break the curse on me. We have to go to the next house."

She'd driven for an hour to San Clemente, to yet another house her parents had settled into in 1990. This one had two dark objects. One was a fire lighter that spewed an incredibly hot blue flame used in Kemiya, for some elemental reconfigurations. The other was a seemingly simple mini mortar and pestle.

"This looks like a cute little Barbie toy," she said, "but this thing has the dark energy required to hold crystals for spells. The kinds of crystals used in Kemiya. Once placed here, they literally won't budge until they've been completely depleted of their power. If you were to put your finger into this, you'd only get it out when you died and it can't sense a magical signature."

"Poor Barbies," he said, trying to lighten the mood.

They'd driven to Los Angeles after that, to the first home Vivianna had ever lived in. The apartment she'd been brought to after her mother had come from the hospital with her daughter in her arms. Funnily enough, she'd come back to live in this same apartment from 2003-2006. She and Julian had only left because their parents had been killed at the end of their third year there.

She ran her hand over the wood in the doorframe, and walked into the apartment. She found a singular dark object left behind as a decoration by whichever humans lived here in 1994.

"This little vase," she said, "kills anything placed inside of it. It captures the energy released in death. It's used for Sacrificial Magic. Put a mouse in it, it'll collapse and wither away until you're left with nothing but a small light. I'm guessing the people here had a lot of issues with one another."

Kai quite honestly found these objects rather interesting. He knew some witches made Dark Objects, too, but it seemed the Travelers had been more clever about theirs. He'd never say that aloud to Vivi, she'd likely faint.

Vivianna had driven them from Los Angeles to San Francisco after that. Kai had been tired, despite them not having driven as much that day compared to others. He'd fallen asleep in the passenger's seat, and had ended up with his head on Vivianna's shoulder as she drove.

It made her tear up, in all honesty. She felt confused, too. How was it that she could feel pity and affection for this man? How could she want to further their relationship? She knew they weren't supposed to get along. They proved that often with their bickering. Still, she felt safe at his side. She felt he deserved so much more than being stuck here. She could have felt fear, but she didn't. She knew he didn't want to hurt her. It's why he'd pushed her away. And she felt, even for a moment, like he cared about her. Because only someone who cared about her would have told her that she deserved better. If he didn't care, even in the slightest, he would have faked it all just for the sake of getting her in bed.

He looked so peaceful in his sleep. He wasn't snoring today, which gave her a feeling he might even be awake. But when he started muttering incoherently, she figured he must actually be snoozing. He'd started to shiver after a short while, as if having a nightmare again. She'd carefully put her arm around him, starting to massage his back. He'd relaxed immediately, and nearly made her swerve off the road when he wrapped his arms around her and tried pulling her closer.

She'd had to carefully push him off, which resulted in him whining and turning the other way, which led him to start snoring against the window, his nose pressed up against it. She just sighed and held onto her necklace, flicking her hand to turn the radio on, allowing it to play a gentle melody to tune out the noise.

When they arrived in San Francisco, she'd parked in front of the small condo that her family had lived in during their stay there. Kai hadn't woken up despite many cues, and she'd resorted to dragging him along in hopes it would rouse him. She expected he was awake, but he wanted to see her struggle.

She'd let him fall onto the couch, and grabbed a nearby blanket before tucking him in. He'd grabbed the pillow beneath him, cuddling into it. A strand of his hair had moved onto his forehead, and she gently brushed it away, before hearing very clearly what he mumbled.

"Don't leave me."

"I'm not going anywhere," she said gently.

"Don't go."

"I'm right here."

"Stay with me."

She tilted her head in confusion. "Who do you think I am?" she murmured, imagining he was seeing someone else in a dream.

"Stay here," he said, and he lifted the blanket before opening his eyes.

"Dick," she said quietly. "Making me practically carry you in."

"You got to be a knight in shining armor, don't complain."

"We don't fit on the couch."

"Then let's go to a bed."

"I don't think you and I should be in a bed together."

"No sex. Just warmth. You're comfortable."

She slowly sat down on the couch, and he managed to sit up, moving the back pillows out of the way, with allowed them to lay down on their sides, looking at each other, their faces mere centimeters apart.

"I'm not leaving you," she told him. "You can push me away but I'm at least gonna get you out of here. It's not my place to judge you and to inflict more of a punishment than what you've already had to deal with."

"I couldn't handle it," he muttered. "If you and Bonnie left and I was still here. Knowing how close I was to escaping. Knowing I'd never see you again."

"I don't want to get over what I'm feeling," she said. "I at least want us to be friends."

"We shouldn't be friends. I'm just gonna hurt you. I'll betray you when it's convenient for me."

"Maybe you will. And maybe it'll break me. But I don't have any friends either, Malachai. If we're gonna have anyone's back, it should be each other's. I'd rather live for a short while being bothered by you every day and eventually feel pain when you go, than spend the rest of my days in a repetitive loop surrounded by strangers who I'll never feel anything for."

"Fucking hell, Vivi. You hardly know me. I enjoyed killing my siblings. And here you are yapping about us being friends. I could kill you."

"You could. I don't know. But I think you're capable of something you've never considered for yourself. Redemption. You've had so many opportunities to get rid of me. You may have abandonment issues, but those would have been overpowered by your need to kill if you'd really wanted them to be. If you wanted to hurt me as much as you claim to, I would already be buried in a shallow grave."

"One rule," he said, bringing his finger to her lips to silence her. "You can't love me. Because I can't love you. And I know how fucked up unrequited love can be. I spent my whole life just wanting people to care about me. 'Cause I used to care... about my family. Slowly, those feelings went away the older I got. The worse they treated me. I was honest when I told Bonnie I'd do anything to have my family back. But the truth is, I don't want them back if they're just gonna screw me over again."

"You were just a little boy," she whispered, smoothing her hand over his face. "You didn't mean to be born lacking magic and the emotions everyone else had. They should have helped you. It's not fair, Kai, and it makes me so fucking angry. It doesn't make it right, what you did in retaliation. But it also doesn't make it right that they started the abusive cycle that hasn't ended even now."

"And it makes me mad that your parents had to die," he said. "That your brother had to die. You don't know how lucky you are, having people that actually gave a shit about you. It's not fair that you had to lose them. It's not fair that you had to move so much. You never had a stable house. You never got to know what it was like to remodel your room every few years, able to look back on memories of yourself in one same spot, 'cause you always had a different room."

She sighed, and closed her eyes briefly. "It doesn't matter anymore. If we get out... if you break this curse... I might actually have a chance to live somewhere for a long time and just grow old there."

"And if it doesn't work?"

"Then I'll have to move around all over again. And hope the witches never find out I'm still alive. One Traveler against an entire community of witches... I won't fare well. My magic will eventually sputter out."

"You're not leaving my side," he said firmly. "The witches already screwed up my life enough. I'm not letting them screw up yours, too."

"I don't know if I can follow your rule," she admitted. "Even if we never become more, I'm eventually gonna love you as a friend. I want to. You deserve to know what it's like to be loved by someone at least once in your life."

"There's nothing I would enjoy more than being loved by you," said Kai, looking like he wanted to cry, but also as though it was causing him physical pain to even consider tearing up. "But I can't love you back even if you're just my friend. It's not fair to you."

"I don't need you to love me, Malachai. I just need you to respect me."

She moved closer, putting her head on his chest. He slowly draped the blanket over her, and awkwardly slung his arm around her waist, resting his chin over her head, and listening to her breathing growing slower.

Every cruel voice inside of him was yelling at him to asphyxiate her. To throw her on the ground and bash her head into it. To break her spine and leave her to die.

But for the first time in his life, he was able to tune those voices out. And instead of trying to hurt her, he tilted his head down, pressing a kiss to her forehead as she fell asleep.

A/N: A more fluffy Kai x Vivi chapter. Comment for more!