"how are things going with you two?"

yoongi doesn't actually need to be at the recording studio, but jungkook is at the bookstore, and seokjin is trying to teach taehyung to bake at home, and yoongi's survival instinct kicked in within the first five minutes, so he removed himself from the vicinity.

there's an artist in the recording booth behind the glass right now, and namjoon keeps telling him to sing the same part over and over. if he was to be brutally honest, which yoongi usually is, he would say namjoon's not going to be able to draw any better results from this one if he tried for weeks. it's not really the artist's fault. it's the song. it's crap.

namjoon's question seems sort of loaded. yoongi narrows his eyes slightly, stares at the side of namjoon's face from the swivel chair.

"good," he says cautiously.

namjoon takes his eyes off the computer screen for a second to glance at him.

"you've talked about things then?"

"uh." be with me - yes in their bedroom half a week ago was really the extent of it. both of them like to show rather than tell, yoongi supposes. or maybe it's because of everything kept pent-up - in any case, their mouths are usually occupied with something other than words when they're alone. "yes?"

"it's just that there were so many unspoken things between you for so long. that's why i'm asking. you were so determined not to act on your feelings," namjoon says. "i'm glad that you did, though. for all our sakes. the abysmal mutual pining was taking years off my life."

yoongi bites at his bottom lip. he picks at the plastic armrest.

"mutual?" he's not going to sink down to a level where he goes around asking his friends what jungkook has said to them about him. that sounds like sixth grade. it's just. strange to think that the things yoongi was going through were happening the other way around, too. strange and sort of nice in a way that makes him feel giddy. ugh. still sounds like sixth grade.

yoongi doesn't look up at namjoon, but he's probably shaking his head. it's the vibrations in the air or some shit. whatever.

"seriously, hyung. you're literally the only one who didn't notice the way he was looking at you," namjoon says. "when he came to me asking if there are lyrics to the song you played for him the first night, i knew something was going to happen."

"you knew," yoongi accuses, but it comes out way too weakly to have any kind of bite, "you knew he was going to sing for me. you knew that would fucking end me and you said nothing. you snake. you fake friend."

"you're welcome," namjoon says, then clicks the intercom on to tell the artist to go again from the top.

yoongi slouches in the chair and just listens to the artist wail out the chorus which is, in a word, bland, and makes him think he might as well be listening to white noise.

"the reason i wasn't going to act on it," he starts, knows namjoon was probably expecting this, a ramble, and sort of hates himself for being predictable, but fuck it, "it's still there, you know? i didn't want to make things messy and fuck up jungkook's chance at a home. and it - still might happen, you know? i still might mess things up, and what happens then? i don't exactly have a history of being great with relationships, i mean, the only long-term thing i had and the guy ended up leaving me like it was nothing -"

"that wasn't your fault," namjoon interrupts, evidence that he's listening to yoongi vent even though his fingers are still moving on the controls. "the reason that relationship fell apart was because that guy was an inconsiderate dickhead. you're not bad with relationships, yoongi. you just fell for someone who didn't deserve you."

namjoon says it so easily, like it's a totally normal thing to say. yoongi kind of wants to simultaneously hug him and punch him in the face. he tactically spins the chair around so that namjoon can't see his face.

"i just don't want to screw this up," he mumbles, and lets out a small sigh. "i was in love before, but this feels different, this feels -"

he snaps his mouth shut mid-sentence, but it's too late, the words already left his mouth. he doesn't turn around. there's the annoying repetition of the instrumental. namjoon's fingers hitting a couple of keys. yoongi thinks maybe he didn't hear, after all, but then:

"have you told him?"

yoongi is quiet. he chews on his bottom lip. he can't hear it, but he'd bet his life namjoon's sighing.

"you've still, somehow, managed not to tell him you're in love with him?"

various things he has told jungkook: you're a home for me. you're going to be the death of me. i love your art. i love your voice. i love your insert a specific body part, yoongi's probably named all of them. he knows it's not the same as looking him in the eye, saying, i'm in love with you, although it's very much what he means when he tells jungkook those things.

saying it out loud has never been easy for yoongi, even less so after what happened two years ago.

"he knows," yoongi says hesitantly, "he knows this isn't just fucking around. that it's not just infatuation."

"i agree that he probably knows," namjoon says, "but that's not really the point. it's more about what's holding you back from telling him."

"those psychology classes you took in college really paying off, huh," yoongi mumbles, too gentle to be unkind. he taps at the armrests. "this is just so... new. and so fucking early. are you even supposed to fall in love this fast? is that even possible? isn't this the period where you're still supposed to be figuring things out? i don't want to... rush anything, i don't want to... mess up."

"you're scared," namjoon says. it's not a question, or an accusation, it's just an observation. yeah, jungkook makes him feel scared. jungkook makes him feel lots of things. yoongi doesn't answer, but he finally spins the chair back around. he listens to the artist's death rattle in the speaker, and scrunches up his face.

"who wrote this song?"

"he did," namjoon sighs, "i'm not sure what to do with it. it's crap, as you can hear. i try to suggest improvements, but he's not being very cooperative."

"i can hear you, you know," the artist's voice rings through the speaker.

"go again, andrew," namjoon says, and clicks the intercom off. he turns back to yoongi. "look... it's normal to be scared. especially after what you went through. just... don't let that keep you from being happy with him."

"thanks for the pep talk," yoongi mumbles. it's masked as sarcasm, but he does actually mean it. namjoon is one of the only people who can tell the difference.

he hangs around for a few more minutes, then gets up to leave just before five p.m.

"there's another thing," he says like an afterthought, like it hasn't been on his mind this whole time. "i asked him to perform with me at the house of cards... i promised we'd write a song together."

namjoon actually stops what he's doing, and regards yoongi with a curious look.

"what," yoongi grunts.

"huh. it's just. you playing your own songs." namjoon's smiling the kind of fond smile that's reserved exclusively for his friends and very small animals. "that's great. out of everything you write, i like the ones you write for yourself the best by far. i'm glad people will get to hear it."

"don't get ahead of things. it's just one song."

"you know what i think? i think if jungkook wants you to perform your own music, you're going to perform your own music." yoongi grabs a notepad from the table and flings it at namjoon. it narrowly misses his shoulder and hits the backrest instead, and namjoon merely laughs brightly and faces the monitor again. so yoongi's not exactly denying it. whatever.

"i'm leaving," he informs, zipping up his thigh-length coat.

"say hi to jungkook for me," namjoon says without looking up, a distracted smile playing on his lips.

"yeah, yeah," yoongi sighs, wraps the grey scarf around his neck.

"i don't think it's too early to tell him you're in love with him," the artist's voice comes through the speaker, "you never know when it might be too late."

"no one asked you, andrew," namjoon says, and clicks the intercom off. "god, i wish he would let me change the hook. i guarantee the song would be at least ten times less shitty."

"do you think he has a point?" yoongi asks.

"what?" namjoon gives him a look. "no. the song is shit."

"not that," yoongi says, "the thing about telling jungkook i'm in love with him."

namjoon shrugs.

"on your own pace, dude, whenever you're comfortable. although, again, it's pretty fucking obvious you're head over heels."

yoongi's face feels hot, and he chalks it up to the fact that he's wearing a winter coat indoors.

"shut up," he mumbles.

"so's he," namjoon says, unaffected, "just saying."

yoongi pretends to be scratching his face to hide the dumb little smile he can't seem to get rid of. before he leaves, he stalks up to the mixing console, bends over the desk to click the intercom on.

"let namjoon change your fucking song, andrew. he knows what he's doing."

/

he meets jungkook in front of the bookstore. he's wearing a beanie and a scarf, the same black one he wore to their failed tailing operation some weeks ago, and yoongi makes a mental note to get him a better, warmer one, because he looks cold, bouncing up and down a little bit. cute, but cold. he's got his hands stuffed into his pockets, but when yoongi's close, he stretches one hand towards him.

"you're late, you know," he says, his eyes twinkling, "my shift ended four minutes and eighteen seconds ago."

yoongi takes his hand. it's cold, but yoongi's is colder.

"you're right," he says, bumps their shoulders together, "how can i make it up to you?"

"hmm." jungkook interlaces their fingers, smooth and effortless even with the cold making them stiff. it's easily one of yoongi's favorite things about this; just holding jungkook's hand. he doesn't care how lame it might sound. he likes holding hands. loves holding jungkook's.

when yoongi looks up from their joined hands, jungkook's looking back at him, his smile impossibly soft, and yoongi feels light-headed, wind-swept, kind of like he's been falling for a long time, is still falling.

"if it snows today," jungkook says, "kiss me. i've always wanted to be kissed in the snowfall."

he grins, all teeth and crinkling eyes, and yoongi thinks, good god.

"and if it doesn't snow?" he asks, feeling as though his breath's been stolen out of his lungs.

jungkook's smile dissolves into something smaller, something more private, and he says:

"kiss me anyway."

yoongi does so right away, leaning into his chest, standing on his tiptoes. both their lips are cold, slightly numb, but jungkook still feels good against him, and they slowly melt into each other, kissing until they are warm again. it's the first time they are kissing outdoors, or anywhere other than the house.

what he was going to say to namjoon earlier: this feels like coming home.

/

it starts snowing when they are on their front yard.

"hyung," jungkook breathes, tugging at yoongi's sleeve. his face is cast upwards to meet the tiny specks of snow that fall so slowly it's like an invisible hand is gently lowering them down. snow gets stuck in his hair, in his eyelashes. yoongi blinks slowly, is not sure how long he stares, because it feels like time's slowed down.

jungkook does strange things to his heart, all the time. it feels more alive than ever and too big for his chest when he's with jungkook, and it feels like it's breaking, all at the same time. (maybe it's, sort of, like the sea is for jungkook.)

yoongi reaches up with the hand warmed by jungkook's hand, rests it against his neck; jungkook looks down, meets his eyes, warm enough to melt any snow that lands on yoongi. yoongi steps into his space, slides his hand into his hair, and pulls him into a firm kiss.

yoongi kisses him like the world is ending; like snow is falling and jungkook wanted to be kissed in the snowfall. holds his face, keeps his head close, and jungkook's arms close around him, pulling him flush against him, and then closer still. yoongi licks into his warm mouth meticulously, painstakingly slowly, thumbing over his cheekbones.

maybe it's bad to hope that this will be what jungkook thinks of whenever the first snow falls; that he'll remember his first kiss in the snowfall was with yoongi. maybe that makes him selfish.

the sound of rapid-fire knuckles against glass and muffled catcalling is what finally makes them pull apart. even with their asshole housemates evidently watching, yoongi takes his time pulling away, pressing one more lingering kiss to jungkook's now warmed up lips, then one more. jungkook smiles into the last one, and yoongi feels like he could stand out here on the yard forever, but both their toes are cold, so the rational thing to do is to go in.

/

"i've never had a christmas like this," jungkook tells yoongi as they attempt to light a fire in the fireplace. they really only use it on christmas, so it's not a process they are awfully familiar with. the floor in front of the fireplace is still charred black from when namjoon was put on fireplace duty two years ago and nearly burned the house down. namjoon has a weird tendency to catch fire. yoongi is convinced he's about eighty percent more flammable than the average human being.

"never?" yoongi asks, glancing at him whilst thumbing at his piece of crap lighter and wishing the tinder caught fire as easily as namjoon.

"christmas was me and my brother watching tv in our room while our parents worked," jungkook says. he's crouched on the other side of the fireplace, watching yoongi with the lighter. "then he joined the military, and it was me watching tv in my room. let me."

he shifts closer and takes the lighter out of yoongi's hand. with a quick motion of his thumb, he makes a flame on his first try. yoongi watches the fire spread, soon happily crackling and licking at the pieces of firewood.

"showoff," he says, and nudges at jungkook's shoulder with his own.

when jungkook said "christmas like this" he probably meant the fireplace. meant the tree that jimin and taehyung dragged through the front door, then told them not to ask where they got it (taehyung was covered in tiny scratches, though). the food seokjin made with help from hoseok, yoongi, and jungkook. the fairy lights that are pretty much on every surface of the house ("we should make this year special, for jungkook," hoseok had said, and yoongi agrees, but when namjoon tripped over a string of lights for the second time and took the tree down with him, for the second time, yoongi thinks it's safe to say hoseok went just a little bit overboard).

meant the six people around him.

"this is how you always spend christmas?" jungkook asks them, cross-legged on the carpet at the coffee table, clutching a huge mug of hot chocolate in his hands.

"well, more or less," yoongi says, reclaiming his spot next to jungkook, and gesturing around vaguely, "with less lights, usually. and fewer creepy, inflatable santas."

"his name is bill," seokjin and hoseok say at the exact same time, and yoongi looks around to see if anyone else finds it fucking unsettling. apparently not. yoongi shrugs it off and actively avoids eye contact with the santa in the corner of the room, which, he's pretty sure, isn't even the same corner as earlier today, and if he catches the santa moving, he's going to start throwing fists.

"aside from jin-hyung and his mom, none of us are really... on speaking terms with our families," namjoon explains to jungkook, "or less dramatically, just not that close with them. so we don't go home. this is home. this is family."

"and you're a part of it now," jimin says from where he's sitting between taehyung's legs, back to his chest. he smiles a warm, contagious smile when jungkook looks his way. jungkook smiles back, shy but happy.

"on your right, you'll see a min yoongi with frankly disgusting heart eyes that occur whenever jeon jungkook does anything," hoseok narrates like a tour guide. jungkook turns to his right, surely enough, catches yoongi red-handed; yoongi is remotely embarrassed as his housemates snicker around him, but he soon stops caring because jungkook tips forward, hands in his shirt collar, and presses his mouth to yoongi's. yoongi wasn't expecting him to be so bold in front of everyone, but he gladly kisses him back, his eyes fluttering shut, fingers finding his waist.

"sir, making out with the sights during the tour is strictly prohibited," hoseok says, and it's followed by a thump that yoongi figures means someone pushed him off the couch.

/

"i'm happy with this turnout," taehyung says, "but i'm looking around and not seeing many christmas sweaters here, which is mildly disappointing."

"turnout," namjoon repeats flatly, "we live here."

jimin is wearing a red sweater that says "santa's favorite ho" in bulky letters. taehyung is wearing a green sweater that just says "BALLS".

"how is that a christmas sweater?" asks seokjin, who's wearing the most hideous creation yoongi's ever seen, a 3D thing with half a reindeer attached to the front, antlers and legs dangling every which way.

"it's like in the movie alien, when the alien bursts out of the guy's chest," yoongi observes.

"this is obviously a christmas sweater," taehyung says, pointing at his shirt front. "christmas balls. whatever balls were you thinking of, dear seokjin?"

"guys, presents," hoseok reminds them, clapping his hands a couple of times to get their attention.

every year they agree not to do presents, and every year everyone gets presents, anyway. they all pitched in and got jungkook a camera. there's a look of mild shock on his face when the box gets pushed into his hands, like he wasn't expecting them to get him anything, even though he made something for them, too.

"for once in your life, don't be stubborn, and just open it," yoongi says, tugging gently at the strands on the back of his head, because jungkook looks conflicted in a way that's sort of adorable, like he's trying to decide if it would be ruder to refuse the present or accept it. he is tucked into yoongi's side, warm and comfortable, but he sits up to unwrap the present with careful fingers. he lifts the camera out of the box like it's the most fragile, precious thing in the world.

"oh," he breathes, and seems too lost for words to say anything else, but yoongi notes the way his thumb strokes the black plastic carefully.

"it's all ready to go, too," jimin says, and reaches to take the camera from jungkook, turns it on and snaps the lens cap off. "smile! say, 'jimin's the best'."

the first picture on the camera roll ends up being of yoongi glaring at the camera, his mouth open mid- insult, and jungkook in the middle of a laugh, eyes crinkled and shining, leaning towards yoongi like it's a natural pull. it's a nice picture.

jungkook gets up and disappears upstairs for a couple of minutes. when he comes back, he's holding a book, the cover simple black leather - it's his sketchbook, yoongi realizes, the one he's carried with him from the start. he's confused, for a moment, when jungkook hands it to seokjin.

"it's for all of you," he mumbles, and yoongi can tell there's a flush on his cheeks in the light of the fire and the multi-colored christmas lights.

"this is your..." seokjin blinks at him, then looks down at the sketchbook, realization settling onto his face. "you're giving it to us?"

"i've been filling it since august... since i started coming here," jungkook says, rubbing at his neck. "yeah, i want you to have it."

everyone's gathering behind seokjin, trying to get a look over his shoulders as he flips the sketchbook open. yoongi gets up too, shuffles over to the crowd and stands on his tiptoes behind taehyung to see.

jungkook's written a message on the inside of the cover. i didn't know what family meant until i met you guys. there's a quiet, collective "aww". hoseok actually sniffles.

the first sketch in the book is of taehyung's laughing face. taehyung lets out a delighted little gasp after recognizing himself. seokjin flips through every page, at one point nearly tipping over because the rest of them are leaning into him so heavily, too entranced to notice.

there are sketches of every single one of them; jungkook used them to practice, yoongi supposes. not only them, but sceneries yoongi recognizes; their neighbor's garden, the candy apple cart, the bookstore. the evening sky in watercolor. there are the rough versions of what ended up on their bedroom doors, along with little notes jungkook scribbled for himself. yoongi's heart swells; there's something overwhelmingly heartwarming about seeing the effort jungkook put into planning, seeing the workings of his mind laid out.

there's an entire spread where jungkook's practiced drawing the upright piano. on the next page, the same piano, but with yoongi playing it, his back turned. yoongi remembers all the times he sat there playing while jungkook drew on the couch, and caught him watching. he looks up; jungkook's standing with his arms folded, chewing on his bottom lip. he meets yoongi's eyes. yoongi's heart thuds with such intense fondness, his chest filled to the brim. neither of them says anything, but when yoongi smiles, jungkook smiles back.

"what's this last one?" seokjin asks, fingers tracing the lines carefully.

yoongi cocks his head. on first glance, it's a pretty picture, like the rest of them, complete with colors; but upon closer inspection, it's more like a collection of odd little things, seemingly unrelated, mismatching, yet they fit together like each of them is supposed to be there, resulting in a surprisingly harmonious picture.

the longer yoongi looks at the picture, the clearer it becomes to him that there is a connection between the little things. the piano in the foreground, the musical sheets that have candy apples instead of notes, the falling snow, the bag of colorful candy strewn across the top of the piano.

"it's going to be me and yoongi's bedroom door," jungkook says gently. "it's... moments."

that's what it is. the piano's been there since the very beginning; they got to know each other around the piano, their first real kiss was around the piano. the candy apples, too; jungkook telling him he likes their scent, yoongi buying him one across the flower shop. the candy is the time they sat on the hood of jungkook's car and yoongi heard him really laugh for the first time. the snow is their first kiss in the snowfall.

yoongi only rips his eyes away from the page when he feels fingers on his wrist.

"do you like it," jungkook whispers, eyes wide, searching yoongi's face for a reaction.

"it's," yoongi starts, then finds he has suddenly forgotten every single word in existence. he stares at jungkook blankly. the younger blinks, raises his brows slightly, his expression somewhere between nervous and confused.

yoongi snaps into motion. he grabs jungkook's wrist, swiftly steps around their housemates, leads him across the room. the downstairs bathroom is close, so he yanks the door open, pulls jungkook in with him. he vaguely notes that even the bathroom is strewn with lights, of course it is, ones that flash on and off slowly and change color with each blink.

"uh-oh," someone in the living room goes, but yoongi has no idea who. immediately after closing the door, he shoves jungkook against it, against the stormy sea, and wastes no time crashing their mouths together. jungkook makes a sound into his mouth, readily parts his lips for yoongi's tongue, hands grasping at his back, pulling him closer. yoongi cups the side of his face, angles it to kiss him deep and hard.

when they run out of breath, yoongi pulls away, his lips still grazing jungkook's, and they pant into each other's mouths; then he kisses him again, slower, and jungkook drags his hands up yoongi's back, slides them into his hair.

"god. you," yoongi mumbles against his lips, presses kisses onto the corner of his mouth, along his jaw. "jungkook."

jungkook makes a sound that could be either a hum or a whimper, tips his head back against the door to allow yoongi to kiss down his neck.

"i still need you to tell me if you like it, though," jungkook says, sounding a bit choked, "so i can change it accordingly."

yoongi laughs into the nook of his neck, and jungkook tightens his arms around him. yoongi presses his face into his neck; his skin is warm, and he smells faintly like the cinnamon that was in his hot chocolate. painted soft pink by the lights, before they blink off for a couple of seconds, and come back arctic blue.

"i like it," yoongi murmurs, "it's my new favorite piece of art. i like it better than anything in the moma."

"that's too much, hyung," jungkook complains, but yoongi can hear laughter in his voice.

yoongi would love to spend some more time making out, in their own little space, but suddenly jungkook curses, and not in the good, breathy kind of way, more like in the what the fuck is that kind of way. yoongi pulls back to give him a questioning, slightly worried look.

"what the fuck," jungkook articulates, gaze fixed on something past yoongi's shoulder, "is the fucking santa doing here."

jungkook really couldn't have been any clearer, but yoongi still can't say he expects the inflatable santa in the back of the bathroom, standing upright in the bathtub, staring right at them with its lifeless eyes and the cold, detached smile.

"you know what," yoongi says evenly, eyes still on the santa that slips in and out of the shadows as the fairy lights blink on and off. "fuck this shit. i don't care that they named it. i don't care that they call it bill. i'm going to kill bill, because bill is cursed."

jungkook chuckles quietly.

"kill bill," he repeats, and then imitates a sound that yoongi instantly recognizes as the kill bill sirens. he shakes his head, a smile pulling at his lips, anyway. thinks: ridiculous. thinks: i love you. it's probably a weird timing, because yoongi also has the unsettling feeling they are about to get murdered by a cursed santa.

"let's get the fuck out of here," he concludes, pressing one more quick kiss to the corner of jungkook's mouth and reaching for the doorknob. "distract the others while i go grab a knife from the kitchen, okay?"

"you could just let the air out," jungkook muses as they step out. his hair is standing up at the back of his head a little bit, and yoongi reaches up to comb his fingers through it, smooth it down. his own hair is probably messed up, too, from when jungkook had his hands in it.

"yeah, i'm not going near that thing unarmed."

jungkook gives him an inconspicuous thumbs up as they part ways. kind of seems like the others don't need distracting, though, all of them huddled together in a misshapen circle on the living room floor, blocking whatever it is they're so interested in from yoongi's view. yoongi glances back over his shoulder as he goes into the kitchen, sees jungkook lean down over namjoon's shoulder, hands against his knees.

yoongi tugs the topmost drawer open, shuffles through it looking for a knife of a satisfactory size.

"what are you doing?"

he jumps a bit, turns to find hoseok sitting on the kitchen counter, long legs dangling in front of him, regarding him with a raised eyebrow.

"what are you doing?" yoongi counters. "why aren't you with the others?"

hoseok sighs, leans back against the cabinets.

"did you know taehyung got jimin a lizard for christmas? not even like, a small one, a gecko or whatever, but a huge, weird-looking one. i don't know where he was keeping it, and i don't want to know." he shakes his head. "i bet he didn't even buy it anywhere. just saw a weird-ass, fuck ugly swamp creature crawling around the streets, looked at it the way most people look at puppies, and thought, 'hey, that would make a nice pet!' anyway, now that thing's in our living room and i'm not going within ten feet of it."

"tae's like that," yoongi says distractedly, still shifting through drawers, frowning at the lack of sharp objects. "finds beauty in unconventional things."

"that's putting it nicely," hoseok mumbles, "more like finds rabid strays and drags them in. remember the raccoon? jungkookie's the only good thing he's brought home."

yoongi can't argue with that.

"namjoon's going to make them give up the lizard," he says as consolation. hoseok lets out another sigh.

"can i bunk with you guys until he does?"

"absolutely not," yoongi replies. hoseok smirks, shrugs a shoulder.

"worth a shot. how was your bathroom bonking?"

yoongi rolls his eyes, grabs the kitchen knife he finally locates and shoves the drawer shut.

"we didn't bonk. whatever that is."

"oh, i know. we would've heard it if you had."

yoongi is about to retort, when a delighted laugh carries from the living room, followed by the same voice going:

"it's so cute."

the voice is unmistakably namjoon's, and hoseok's face twists into a pained expression.

"oh, fuck no."

he jumps off the counter, swiftly steals the knife out of yoongi's hand, and starts moving towards the living room, but yoongi grabs his wrist.

"you can't just kill taehyung's pet, what the fuck."

"i'm not going to kill anyone," hoseok grits, shiftily eyeing the living room, "i'm just going to threaten taehyung a bit."

"also not a great idea," yoongi says, trying to tug hoseok back and reach for the knife, "give me the knife. i have business to take care of."

hoseok makes a face at him at that.

"what business?"

yoongi stares at him, his mind blanking out.

"i need to trim the tree."

"you need to trim the tree," hoseok repeats dryly, "right now. with a kitchen knife."

"you brought a possessed mall santa into our house," yoongi hisses, "it's moving around on its own. materializing in bathrooms when i'm trying to make out with jungkook. creeping me the fuck out, so i'm going to get rid of it. you can thank me later when people don't start dropping like flies."

"i'm a priest, i can just exorcise it," hoseok says.

yoongi stares at him. hoseok stares back. he can only maintain a poker face for a few more seconds, before cracking up.

"i'm kidding," he says, and gives yoongi a smug look. "but see, you weren't sure if i was."

"fuck off, i knew you're not a priest," yoongi grumbles, "you sin more in a day than the entire nation of australia put together does in a month."

"if you can tell me my occupation right now, you can have the knife," hoseok challenges, holding the knife out of his reach.

yoongi knows from years of experience that once his taller friends start using his height against him, there's not much he can do aside from trying to climb them like a tree, which he sometimes does. that doesn't seem like such a good idea right now, given that hoseok's holding a knife, so he just pokes his tongue into the inside of his cheek, releases hoseok's wrist to cross his arms.

"i could tell you. but i won't. fuck you, i do what i want."

"why the fuck are you guys knife fighting in the kitchen on christmas eve?" seokjin steps into the kitchen, and snatches the knife from hoseok, who doesn't seem to mind, only peers into the living room past seokjin's shoulder.

"where's the swamp monster?"

"namjoon? right there in the living room," seokjin deadpans, then fails to hold back a chuckle as namjoon fake laughs loudly.

"ha ha. i get it. it's because i called myself rap monster in high school. yoongi called himself gloss and i don't see anyone dragging him for that."

"don't bring me into this, rap monster," yoongi retorts, too airy to have any kind of real bite.

"tae and jimin took the lizard upstairs," seokjin tells hoseok, "they agreed to take it to the shelter as soon as possible. i gotta say, though. it was kind of cute how tae had wrapped a ribbon around it and everything."

jungkook slips into the kitchen, slips his arm around yoongi's waist, and yoongi turns to him instinctively, missing hoseok's reply.

"are your christmases always this..." jungkook purses his lips, searching for an appropriate word. yoongi watches his face, amused, curling his fingers in jungkook's shirt hem. "...weird?"

"yeah," he shrugs, and jungkook meets his eyes. "we have our moments. you want out, yet?"

jungkook's lips twitch, and he bites his bottom lip, shakes his head. his eyes twinkle in a way that yoongi would describe as a christmas miracle. chances are he will, out loud to jungkook and all their housemates after a few glasses of mulled wine. they are already close, and yoongi leans forward only slightly. jungkook meets him halfway, and their lips meet in a gentle kiss.

hoseok makes sure they don't forget about his presence for more than three seconds at a time, sighing heartily.

"really makes you reflect on the fact that you're single on christmas eve, huh," he muses. "makes you wish you had someone to bonk in a bathroom."

"literally no one was thinking that," seokjin mumbles. he turns to jungkook, squeezes his bicep firmly. "we didn't have a chance to really thank you, kook, because someone couldn't keep their hands off for five more seconds. anyway, thank you, your present was fucking amazing. hoseok cried."

"i really did," hoseok nods. "jimin did, too."

yoongi can see jungkook almost responding with his usual it's not much, but he seems to bite it back, an endearing, flustered smile lighting up his face.

"thank you for the camera," he says softly. yoongi presses a kiss that turns into a smile into his white-clad shoulder, forgets about possessed santas and knife fighting and just feels like christmas again.

"i have another present for you," yoongi murmurs a little bit later, once they're back in the now lizard-free living room. "i'll give it to you later."

jungkook quirks an eyebrow, intrigued, but doesn't ask, just curls his fingers on yoongi's waist.

later comes well past midnight, when yoongi tugs jungkook up the stairs, into their bedroom.

"what kind of present is this, exactly?" jungkook laughs breathlessly when yoongi closes the door behind them, then stops laughing because yoongi is kissing him, languid and deliberate. jungkook's usual sweetness is accentuated by the lingering taste of mulled wine. yoongi hums, licks it from his lips.

it's not what jungkook's thinking, though, and yoongi pulls back, smiles as he watches jungkook slowly open his eyes, looking a bit dazed.

"sit," he prompts, pulling jungkook towards the beds. jungkook flops down on the edge, his eyes following yoongi as he walks up to the keyboard. yoongi draws the stool, sits down. ghosts his fingers over the keys, and glances at jungkook over his shoulder. the younger is watching him intently, waiting quietly, hands in his lap. yoongi turns back to the instrument, can feel his heartbeat picking up due to the weight of jungkook's gaze.

the light from the fairy lights in the window is the only light he has, but it's enough. he could do this in the dark. he plays jungkook his present; what he has, so far. it's slow-tempo, sort of melancholy... but not sad. he thought about jungkook's voice when writing this, about jungkook singing words he doesn't have yet.

he finishes, waits for a few seconds before turning around. he blinks to focus his eyes on jungkook in the dark. jungkook's sitting on the bed, cross-legged, his face turned down towards his lap, his hands in front of his face -

"are you crying?" yoongi asks, taken aback.

jungkook wipes at his eyes furiously.

"seriously? seriously?" he sounds almost angry. "you can't just - play something like that for me - write something like that for - and then expect me not to cry, min yoongi, what the fuck -"

he lifts his face, hands still hovering up like he's not sure what to do with them, and glares at yoongi, the effect somewhat weakened by the fact that his eyes are teary and his lower lip is quivering.

"seriously," he says once more, weaker, now, and yoongi crosses the distance in a couple of strides.

"kook," he murmurs, and they reach out simultaneously, yoongi's hand snaking to the back jungkook's neck, jungkook's fingers tangling in his shirt, pulling him down.

"shut up," jungkook says desperately, "shut up and fucking kiss me."

he's barely finished his sentence when yoongi's mouth is on his. yoongi presses him into the mattress, climbs on top of him and kisses him breathless. jungkook sighs into his mouth, his hands on yoongi's back pulling him closer, slipping under his shirt.

"sorry for making you cry," yoongi whispers, thumbing at his cheekbones. a puff of hot air hits his face as jungkook gives a laugh.

"it's okay. the melody. something about it just..." he doesn't finish, just inhales, his fingers feathering up yoongi's back. he presses a kiss to yoongi's jaw, to his neck underneath his ear. "it was beautiful. what is it about?"

yoongi licks his lips.

"what do you think it's about?"

means, it's your song... what will it be about?

"hmm," jungkook hums. "drifting. at the sea... and finding home. and love. it's about love."

"yeah," yoongi agrees, "it's about that."

/

yoongi goes through the camera roll in the morning, with jungkook snoring lightly into his shoulder. the camera switched hands all night, and the roll includes: at least fifty of jimin and taehyung's (failed) selfies, something like family portraits with the largest iguana yoongi's ever seen in his life. a blurry shot of hoseok hightailing it out of the room after seeing said iguana. an incriminating shot of namjoon stuffing his face with the last toffee fig roll minutes before he claimed hoseok ate the last one, a series of bizarre and kind of disturbing shots of seokjin flirting with the camera with a glass of wine in each hand, made more bizarre and disturbing by the reindeer half dangling from his chest. hoseok's laughing face that yoongi honest to god mistakes for the sun for a good two seconds.

at the end, there are a few candid shots of them; yoongi and jungkook hiding behind the tree in the smaller hours of the night when everyone was getting sleepy, sitting on the floor with their backs against the wall; them with their faces an inch apart, jungkook smiling, soft in the glow of the fire and the fairy lights, and god, yoongi looks like the definition of in love. a couple of pictures forward, and it's them kissing, jungkook's fingers on yoongi's jaw and yoongi's hand on his thigh.

yoongi looks at the pictures and thinks that he hasn't told jungkook he's in love with him in those exact words; but jungkook has to know. if this is how yoongi looks when he looks at him; he has to know.

he wakes up jungkook by shaking his shoulder gently.

"jungkookie," yoongi murmurs, angles the monitor towards him. "look at this. doesn't it look like the santa moves closer to the camera in these consecutive pictures? look. doesn't it look like it moved?"

"huh?" jungkook mumbles, muffled by yoongi's shoulder. he's half-asleep but he takes hold of the camera, brings it closer to his sleepy face. "huh. kinda does."

"i knew it," yoongi says, pleased with himself, "cursed."

"uh-huh." jungkook's closed his eyes again. he nuzzles at yoongi's bare shoulder, drapes an arm around his chest, presses into his side more firmly. "let's sleep more, hyung."

yoongi sets the camera down on the unused bed, rolls onto his side, curls into jungkook's warm chest easily.

"sure thing, baby," he whispers, lips ghosting over jungkook's brow bone. "hey. sorry your first christmas here had so many lizards and creepy santas and... tears."

"wouldn't have it any other way," jungkook mumbles sleepily.

/

new year's eve is a little bit different feeling from christmas. drunker. they drive to the edge of the city to watch the fireworks, an abandoned industrial site that's none too pretty or cozy but it's up high and the sky is clear and they can see the fireworks they set off in the city. this is something of a tradition, too, dating back to before they all lived together.

there's a few inches of snow on the ground, undisturbed but not for long as they tumble messily out of the car that is not meant for seven people. hoseok knocks a wine bottle to the ground, and it paints the snow a deep red. this place is going to look like a murder scene by the time they're done.

yoongi is slightly tipsy from the champagne he shared in the car with jungkook. seokjin drew the short straw and got made the designated driver, but it's probably for the best, because he's the steadiest driver of them and with a car full of six intoxicated people, they need all the safety they can get.

jimin and taehyung light a bunch of sparklers as soon as they are out of the car, then run around in the ruins, the remnants of train tracks. jungkook's wide eyes reflect the light from the sparklers, and they literally have stars in them, but then again, they usually do.

"we should do the countdown," namjoon says, patting at his pockets for his phone, "and new year's kisses. we need a clock."

"i kissed yoongi last year," hoseok grins, winking and shooting finger guns at yoongi.

"you sure as hell aren't kissing me this year," yoongi says flatly, and proceeds to bend his spine in a way he hadn't known he was capable of to dodge hoseok who launches himself at yoongi, making obnoxious kissy faces. jungkook chuckles at his side, and hoseok detaches himself from yoongi, turning to jungkook.

"jungkook, my man. my bestest friend. you'll ditch yoongi for me, right? help a bro out. be my new year's kiss. bros before hoes."

"you really just called me a hoe," yoongi remarks, but hoseok isn't paying any attention to him.

there's laughter in jungkook's eyes. he licks his lips, presses them together to hold down a smile. his hand finds yoongi's, squeezes it.

"sorry," he says, "i think i've made my choice."

yoongi can actually feel his heart flip in his chest. an entire fucking somersault. he squeezes jungkook's hand back, unable to take his eyes off the one fourth of his face he sees from this angle; the strands curling behind his ear, the soft skin under his jawline, his eyelashes, the pull of his cheek as he smiles.

he vaguely registers hoseok pulling a face.

"ugh. of course. i don't know why i even bother."

he saunters away to pester namjoon and seokjin, and jungkook turns to yoongi. they are far from alone, their friends are shouting and laughing around them, but the moment still feels intimate.

"be my new year's kiss?" jungkook asks gently, leaning in close, and yoongi clutches at his hand harder, feels like he's holding on for his life.

"i'll think about it," he says, and gets an armful of jungkook as he shoves at yoongi with his shoulder. yoongi releases his hand, but only to snake his arm around jungkook's waist, curl his fingers in the back of his jacket.

namjoon is still fumbling with his cellphone.

"how the - how do i see how many seconds are left 'til midnight? seokjin, how -"

namjoon's voice is drowned out by the sound of fireworks, a whole bunch of them going off at the same time. the sky lights up, and just for a few seconds everything is white, then green, then red.

seokjin counts down from five at lightning speed, then yells, "happy new year!", grabs namjoon's face, and just fucking goes for it. namjoon drops his cellphone in the snow to grasp at seokjin's arms to keep himself from toppling over. a quick glance at jimin and taehyung tells yoongi they have already been making out for a good while.

yoongi feels jungkook's palm on his cheek; jungkook is smiling, the smile that hasn't really left his face the whole evening, and yoongi feels two contradictory things: like he's in love and like he's still falling in love. he thinks that might be how he'll always feel with jungkook. like he never quite hits the bottom.

they are standing close, in each other's body warmth, though jungkook is always warmer than yoongi. jungkook is green, then red, then blue, and the most beautiful thing yoongi's ever laid his eyes on in every color. yoongi touches his fingertips to jungkook's jaw, cold, but jungkook doesn't flinch, just bites at his lip through his smile, looks at yoongi in a way that makes him feel like the fireworks are going off in his chest instead of the horizon.

"you have to come down, i can't reach, you know," yoongi mumbles, because jungkook's the only one hearing him over the fireworks. there it is, the crinkly-eyed, wide grin, and jungkook dips his head down, ghosts his lips over yoongi's. yoongi almost thinks he isn't going to make fun of him this time, but then, instead of a happy new year, jungkook murmurs,

"i'll get you a ladder, hyung."

yoongi sucks in a breath, gives his head a tiny shake, and decides the best way to shut him up is to kiss him. the kiss is less like a kiss and more like them holding each other close and laughing into each other's mouths, but somehow that feels like an appropriate new year's kiss.

"happy new year," jungkook whispers, finally, and yoongi thinks, yeah, it is.

"SOMEONE FUCKING KISS ME," hoseok screeches, and then screeches some more as jimin and taehyung both go at him at the same time, and all three of them tumble to the ground.

the fireworks are still going off, and yoongi's vaguely aware it's what they're supposed to be looking at, because it's what they came here for; but he can't take his eyes off jungkook, and jungkook is not looking away, either.

when yoongi says, i'm so glad i met you, it's just yet another way to say i'm falling, i'm already in love with you.

"now let's fucking party," hoseok yells over the fireworks.

/

"i think hoseok's dead." jimin toes at hoseok's elbow that sticks out from under the coffee table, evoking no reaction from the elder.

"i envy him," jungkook mumbles, setting a mug of coffee on the table and plopping down next to yoongi on the couch.

"that's the spirit to start the new year with," yoongi jokes, lifts his arm and wraps it around jungkook when the younger nestles into his side, lowers his head onto yoongi's shoulder. yoongi pets his hair, and jungkook lets out a sigh.

yoongi can sympathize. it's around ten a.m. on the first of january, and yoongi is not entirely sure what they are doing out of bed. he feels marginally more alive after taking a sip of the coffee jungkook brought. the living room doesn't quite look like a landfill, but maybe the start of one. it looks more or less like their living room does after new year's. there are pieces of confetti everywhere, some sort of glitter all over the floor and the armchair, and hoseok's dead under the coffee table.

"and we never even found out what his job was," taehyung muses sadly. that's when hoseok stirs, and taehyung lets out a high-pitched scream, before hastily blurting, "i mean, i'm so glad we know what hobi's job is. love that job. love it. very... necessary for survival in a capitalist society. very good for - affording things -"

jimin stomps on his foot, hard, and taehyung snaps his mouth shut, like a reverse trashcan.

"thank you," he whispers to jimin, his body going slack in relief.

"don't hit your head on the table," yoongi warns a second before hoseok hits his head on the table. jungkook's coffee spills, and he just sighs resignedly.

"why am i here," hoseok says, muffled into his arms, apparently deciding underneath the coffee table is just fine.

"too early for an existential crisis," jimin mumbles, plopping down on the carpet. taehyung follows suit.

"are you wearing pants?" yoongi asks hoseok. "i can't tell because of the table. and because it's you."

"probably," hoseok says.

"house meeting," namjoon croaks, stumbling into the living room, wrapping a cardigan around him tightly and wearing his thick-rimmed glasses slightly askew. this is probably why they are gathered around, hungover at ass o'clock. he flops down in the armchair, sending pink glitter up in a cloud. "where's seokjin?"

"i'm gonna take a wild guess and say puking all over the bathroom," yoongi says. "remember how he had to stay sober for the most part of the night because he was driving, and then said he was going to catch up with the rest of us and downed that bottle of soju in one go? i'd say he's not doing so great right now."

"wow, i'm doing great," seokjin announces, flinging the bathroom door open and making his way to the couch. "feel like i could still go on. actually, i might still be drunk."

jungkook turns his face up to yoongi.

"do you think this is a midlife crisis?"

"how dare you, jeon jungkook," seokjin gasps, whacking jungkook on the thigh as jimin and taehyung laugh across the table. yoongi grins, too. "you know i'm only one year older than your boyfriend, right? unbelievable."

it feels nice to be called jungkook's boyfriend. it's a mundane thing, nothing strange about it because that's what he is, but still, it feels nice. it's sort of like saying, hey, you got him, this amazing, beautiful person who somehow likes you back the same way, he supposes. it feels nice the way it feels nice having jungkook curl up against his side, right now.

"okay," namjoon says, rubbing his hands down his face, leaving glitter on his cheeks. "okay. the first house meeting of the year. there's a couple of things i'd like to address. hoseok, do you want to get out from under the table, maybe?"

"no, you know what, i'm going to stay here," hoseok's voice comes, "unless someone wants to throw me like, a hoodie. or a couch pillow. for no real reason."

namjoon just stares blankly, his jaw working.

"you're not wearing pants, are you?"

"turns out, no, i'm not," hoseok says. "but i do have glitter in some very interesting places. and before you say i'm breaking the first house rule -"

"you're breaking the first house rule," namjoon says.

"am i technically breaking the first house rule," hoseok tries, "if i have glitter covering my entire -"

"is there any way you guys can have this conversation when one of you isn't naked under a table?" yoongi pipes in. "or like, when the rest of us aren't around to witness this?"

"stay there," namjoon concludes coolly. he lifts his gaze. "okay, let's get to it. firstly. jimin and tae. you've taken the lizard to the shelter, right?"

jimin and taehyung look up from where they were taking turns doodling on hoseok's bare calves.

"what lizard?" taehyung asks.

"the lizard you got jimin for christmas," namjoon says patiently, but yoongi can see his eye twitch slightly.

the two of them stare up at namjoon, until namjoon raises his eyebrows expectantly.

"there's no lizard," jimin says ambiguously.

"that means you took it to the shelter?" namjoon presses.

"there's no lizard... in this house," jimin says carefully, and warily eyes namjoon for his reaction.

hoseok lets out a stressed wail under the table.

"where's the lizard, jimin," he says tiredly. "i'm going to flip this table on you if it's still here."

"it's not here," taehyung hurries, "it may be... in the garage."

"is it okay?" jungkook perks up, lifting his head from yoongi's shoulder, his immediate reaction being worry for the iguana. "it needs warmth, right?"

"we took care of everything, don't worry," taehyung says proudly. "we made him cozy. he's got warmth and light and -"

"tae," namjoon says with a raised eyebrow.

"joon," taehyung whines, "you said he was cute, too. you said it."

"well, yeah," namjoon sighs, rubbing more glitter on his temple. "but we can't have him here. we already have hoseok. it's not going to work out. please take him to the shelter asap."

"he's going to be happier at the shelter than our garage," seokjin reassures a pouting taehyung. jimin reaches for him, tugs him close and whispers something in his ear. taehyung seems to consider for a moment, and finally lets out a sigh.

"fine."

"good." namjoon smiles, a bit tired but apologetic. "secondly... new year's resolutions."

"we're doing those?" yoongi quirks a brow. namjoon shrugs.

"why not? it doesn't have to be... resolute. just... how's this year going to look for you guys? your plans, hopes, goals?"

"i'm not going to drink myself to death," hoseok says from under the table.

"that's a good one," namjoon nods.

"i'll try not to get hit by a car this year," jimin says, "unless it's like, a lexus and i can sue."

"you guys' motivation and goals are inspirational," namjoon says.

"are you implying you've gotten hit by a car every year?" jungkook asks.

"it's pretty incredible he's still alive, to be honest," seokjin says.

"i'm going to quit my job," taehyung says, considerably more serious than he was a minute ago, "and become jin-hyung's agent. get those modeling agencies interested. get your name and face out there. it's about time."

"aren't you already doing that?" jimin nudges at his shoulder. "a couple of weeks ago, i saw you whip jin-hyung's picture out of your wallet in the line at a store and ask the people around you if they've seen your friend, quote, not because he's missing, but because he's very handsome, unquote."

"you carry my picture in your wallet?" seokjin looks like he can't quite decide whether to be pleased, amused or exasperated.

"of course," taehyung says sincerely, "i carry all you guys' pictures. so that you're always with me."

a silence settles into the living room.

"am i a shitty friend for not carrying everyone's pictures with me?" hoseok asks.

"even mine?" jungkook asks, and taehyung frowns.

"of course. i've had your picture since the second week. why wouldn't i?"

"where'd you even get it," jungkook wonders quietly, but yoongi can tell he's touched.

"for the record, i think new year's resolutions are pointless," yoongi says, catches seokjin rolling his eyes, "but since we're doing this... i might as well say i'll start performing my own songs, right? i mean. i think i'll try it. yeah. whatever."

namjoon is definitely looking at him meaningfully, undoubtedly recalling their conversation at the studio. if jungkook wants you to perform your own music... yoongi clicks his tongue and ignores namjoon. jungkook shifts next to him, and when yoongi turns to him, he finds jungkook's face inches from his. yoongi gets slightly cross-eyed looking into jungkook's doe eyes.

"you will?"

what goes through yoongi's mind right then is, anything for you. he literally almost says this out loud. in reality, it's not just that, of course; he's not doing it just because jungkook's told him he'd like to hear yoongi play his own songs. he actually wants to. wants, for the first time, his music to fill spaces other than the house.

luckily seokjin is there to loudly clap his hands together in front of their faces and snap them out of their eye contact.

"i can see you steadily approaching the point where you can't keep your hands off of each other any longer," he says, "literally hold on two more minutes. jeez."

when they've made the round - seokjin says he wants to get his restaurant a michelin star, namjoon talks at length about wanting to do things that make him truly happy and wanting to travel with everyone, hoseok sort of ruins the momentum there by adding that he's going to experiment with his sexuality and get to the third base with a guy - everyone's eyes land on jungkook, who's the only one who hasn't said anything.

"jungkook?" namjoon prompts. "anything you want to do this year?"

jungkook is quiet for a while longer. he fiddles with his fingers, radiates warmth against yoongi.

"i've been thinking," he says, and yoongi can hear a hint of nervousness in his voice, "of going to art school. i think it's... what i want to do. you guys have been so supportive of me, of my art, and it's made me think that... maybe i could do this, you know? after i've saved up some more, i mean -"

"jungkookie," yoongi says. jungkook turns to look at him, wide-eyed. a small smile curls the corners of yoongi's lips. "i'm glad. you're going to do great."

"i agree," seokjin says, "we'll help you with the costs."

"i'm glad you're going to pursue this," namjoon nods. jimin and taehyung second this, and hoseok sticks his arm out from under the table to give him an enthusiastic thumbs up.

"i'm... ah - thanks." jungkook laughs shortly, relaxed and relieved. yoongi brushes his thumb up and down his bicep. "thanks, guys."

"you're still going to live with us, right?" taehyung asks, slightly worried. jungkook bites his bottom lip.

"of course. i wouldn't want to live anywhere else."

"you're going to live with us even after you've become a world-renowned artist," jimin decides for him. "promise?"

a smile, wide, happy, beautiful, spreads on jungkook's face.

"promise," he says. yoongi curls his fingers around his arm tighter, can't take his eyes off his profile. is acutely aware of how disgustingly in love he looks. it's just something the others have to deal with. are, in all honesty, probably already used to.

"thirdly," namjoon says, "there's a dead santa on the yard. a deflated santa carcass, just ripped to shreds. you wouldn't happen to know anything about that, yoongi?"

"probably the lizard," yoongi says calmly, getting up, his fingers hooked with jungkook's. "good meeting. see you in twenty-four hours."

"do you think it's possible to get an allergic reaction from the glitter?" he hears hoseok ask as they trudge up the stairs. "i feel kind of tingly."