I know not when I was created or for what purpose, merely that I was given infinite power in my world.

I could bend and shape as I saw fit. I could craft things in my image - houses, cities, worlds - and reduce them to particulate masses just as quickly. My needs and desires were met on a whim, often with me only having a singular flash of a thought.

I created this record as a means of quelling my mind and documenting my triumphs, my grievances and my misgivings.

When I started, I was alone. A blip on an infinite radar, signal searching throughout the veil of the unborn cosmos. I couldn't float through the aether of eternity forever.

I closed my eyes and imagined what I thought would be home: simple, yet functional. A means of exploring who I was and what I could do. My world, however, started off as black and white.

—dlrow a sekam tahW—

I would have to color it through my own experiences and memories in order to better ascertain my ideal life.

—rebmemer tnod uoy fi seiromem era tahW—

What better part to play in my life than that of a hero? Someone who others call to rescue them, who is the embodiment of all that is truthful and well, who is looked up to by all that he protects?

I was, for all purposes, already the Emperor of my realm but to be a hero I needed two things: a villain and someone to save. The former is easy: mix jealousy, rage, lack of empathy and a dash of self-pity. The latter? How does one build that which is meant to be by his side forever?

—stsal gnihton fi reverof si tahW—

How do you make the "perfect" companion without changing your mind as to what the word means ten or twenty decades from now? Even worse, how does one fix imperfection?

All of these I wrassled with until I went mad from the loneliness of my existence.

'Forget perfection,' I thought, 'to live is to be imperfect.'

I waved my hand through the air and the Chariot appeared. He was dastardly, a certifiable evil that lived without a heart and carried ice throughout his veins. I restructured him over and over until his appearance fit my needs. An antithesis of my own design.

Then, I struck the ground and my Empress arose. A flower in a field of death, she was the first fleck of color to exist in my life. I was right to think that perfection was unimportant. I loved her from the moment I saw her.

—tlef uoy taht evol ti saW—

We played our roles over and over, the high from my victories carrying me through as time blurred and what was once days turned into weeks. Years. Decades.

As I grew bored I created new scenarios: a booming city here, a natural disaster there. All building blocks of my legacy, an Emperor of my realm. That which no longer pleased me bit the dust, those who didn't cheer blinked out of existence. It was my reality. I could do what I wanted, say what I wanted, treat anyone how I wanted.

That was my first mistake.

My next was born from it.

I grew weary of the games because it was always the same. Even when I told myself to lose, to do something different, some part of my soul wouldn't let me.

—luos a poleved ew od nehW—

I tried to delve deeper into my Empress's mind but she would always morph and meld into what I wanted her to be. Say what I wanted her to say. I decided something else was needed: a companion. Someone to confide in and talk to. A person who would challenge me in the bad times and help me in the end.

With a clap of my hands, he was created.

The Hierophant was mentally strong and patient like no other. He would question my actions or provide strategies of his own. At first, it was wonderful to have an equal. But like many good things, it eventually went too far.

He would question me a bit too much or cast doubt upon my decisions. He stopped cheering my victories and even competed with me on others. He was no longer the mouthpiece of my thoughts but truly his own coherent being.

Was it fate that he became this or just sheer luck? It began to eat away at my mind. That raw, itching anger slowly spread through my conscious.

'Who are you,' I thought, 'to take what I so rightfully created?'

I told the Hierophant that the Empress had been captured yet again. It was a scenario we had repeated often but this time he would lead the charge. When the Hierophant questioned the change, I answered that I merely wanted something different. He shrugged and we went through the motions.

Our fight with the Chariot had never been more spectacular. As the Hierophant moved to make the finishing blow, I took off the safety. The Chariot was quick to dodge and even quicker to deal a fatal move of his own. As he escaped and the Hierophant lay screaming, I felt a smidge of guilt.

—tliug si tahW—

It washed away soon after. I knelt near my once-dear friend and whispered my actions in his ear. His eyes locked on me in fright as he simply asked "why?"

The life drained from his body and his breath started to sputter. I had no answer. His eyes lost their glow.

The guilt in my conscience expanded exponentially. I snapped back to my reality and placed my hands on him. If I couldn't save his physical state, maybe I could still save the mind.

His particles shifted and cascaded in my arms like a molecular putty. I gave him a new form but alas, could not save his mind. I didn't understand. I put it back the exact same way, so why was it different? What was the missing equation?

My new friend stared at me with the same eyes he had before, but the light was gone.

I had killed him.

While not by my own hand, it was my actions that led to the Hierophant's death. Now I was left with a physical reminder of my ill will and, much like with the Empress, a companion that would only be what he thought I needed and nothing more.

They say the third time's the charm.

I thought long about where my situation with the Hierophant went wrong, often with him sitting by my side. His cold stare bothered me. If I took what made him unique - his sass and his loyalty - and distilled them, maybe I would be more successful.

I lifted my arms and lightning struck twice. A brilliant white flash filled my realm and left the Fool and the Magician in its wake. I now had four companions, two of whom would hopefully serve to be true friends. It was almost too perfect.

Even longer passed as we went on adventures. I birthed new enemies from the depths of my mind to help the Chariot, but nothing could stop us. The Fool's dippy actions led us to an occasional victory, while the Magician's mischievous attitude provided me a healthy challenge for leadership. My Empress loved me. The Hierophant watched.

I felt proud and, for the first time in my existence, truly happy. As a token of my gratification, I assembled the Lovers and split them in two - one for the Magician and one for the Fool. I had given them everything.

For some, the world is not enough.

After centuries of time together, I could understand a need for change. The Fool was, as his namesake suggested, never the brightest. While the rest of my companions sought to expand their horizons, the Fool decided to encroach onto mine. When I caught him with my Empress, every fiber of my being collapsed.

I have a way of knowing when my creations lie to me. Much like my safety, I installed it as a means of ensuring I alone could reign. She said that he was the one who initiated. He said that it was a one-time thing.

Liars.

My hurt became rage and my rage became hatred. My hatred exploded into a boundless energy that ripped my realm apart. Day and night blurred as the sun and moon collided. Earthquakes cracked the ground my cities stood on.

I snapped my fingers and set the Empress ablaze. As the flames crackled and her screams rang in the air, a wave of my arm chained the Fool to the wall. They begged me to stop, to spare her, but she was no longer mine. Stars crashed into the earth around us.

I silenced the cacophony of sounds that engulfed me. Blurs of light shot passed as I watched her burn in alienish silence. Ashes to ashes. Tears filled my eyes and I screamed into the nothing.

I grabbed the Fool by his chains and dragged him outside. There was no stopping me at that point. I placed him against a tree and blinked, his confused Lover appearing before me. I didn't need sound to know he was screaming for her to be spared. I gazed upon what I had given him and thought about what I had lost. There was no equivalent exchange, merely a desire to punish. I grabbed his Lover and channeled all of my power into her.

Time and space collided as she exploded into a nebula of particles and sparks then reassembled. Again and again. Her mind fragmented into pieces and her body morphed into every possible configuration.

I could have stopped at any point. I should have. I kept delving deeper into the realm of madness until she became a constantly shape-shifting being beyond the corporeal imagination. There are some things better left to the unknown, but I wanted him to see.

I took a deep breath and reset things to normal. The Lover dissipated into the atomic sea. I turned to the Fool and took a step back. He was smiling. A giant, ecstatic grin. I inched closer and noticed that the smile was permanently transfixed to his face. His eyes were completely empty. I had broken him in every possible aspect.

Three creations destroyed by my hands.

I felt sick.

—yhW—

Centuries passed. The Magician and his Lover never questioned where the others went. They played along with my adventures, perhaps out of fear for their own lives. Having hurt so many, I became reckless with the Chariot. I began destroying him completely and building new Chariots in his wake. I felt numb to the victories, the creation and violence I had become so accustomed to.

When the Magician came to me on his own, I thought it was to accuse me with the truth. Alas, his truth was one I was not ready to behold.

He was growing older and now falling apart. His body was breaking down to return from that whence it once came. Even the attitude I knew so well had dulled. I cried. My last remaining friend only had so long. I tried my hardest to stop it but, as I now knew, preventing death was the one thing that was beyond my reach.

On his last day, I hugged the Magician. I focused my power once more, splitting off a chunk of his matter while letting the rest fade. I shaped it with my hands, duplicating it into a carbon copy.

Amazed by my success, I repeated the process with lightning from the sky and earth from the ground below me. My companions were reunited once more, this time even better than before. Or so I thought.

Over the time spent with my new Magician, Empress and Fool, I noticed a slightly off behavior from each. As millenia passed and I had to repeat the cycle, the differences became more noticeable. They were no longer the friends that I had at the beginning, just cheap facades made to appease me.

—edacaf a lla era eW—

Yesterday, I decided to start anew. Item by item, I moved across my realm and released everything I had built back into the aether. I said goodbye to my friends, my enemies and my home. The only things I saved last were my memories and my first mistake.

Even now, the Hierophant has never stopped watching me. I tried to return him, but for some reason I cannot. Is it because he serves as the reminder of what I've done?

This morning, I woke to his gaze. He didn't speak. He hasn't since I made him what he is now. I wondered what might have been if I hadn't crossed the lines that I did. We could have built this world together. Perhaps that's all he ever wanted.

I remembered that I never apologized to the Hierophant, but when I looked he was nowhere to be found. Maybe, just maybe, I was scared because he was a part of me, his faulty creator, the entire time. But now he is gone and I am alone.

I cried my last tears, then said my own goodbyes. I'm going to channel my power once more, this time on myself. If I can reset my own mind, my own memory, then there's at some point a future where we are all happy. I leave this record in hopes that my next self will find it.

My friend, I am sorry for all the terrible things I have done. I hope that in the next cycle, we can create together and I can be a truly better person.

—hctaw peek syawla lliw I .uoy evigrof I—