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WALKING IN THE WIND
ii. FAIRY CONQUEROR, GIANT STIRRER,
AND PIRATE KING

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  ACTUALLY, THE FAIRY WAR only lasted two-and-a-half months, if you can believe that.

  Odette was the first of the departed rulers to return to Cair Paravel three months after her departure, arms bountiful with freshly signed scrolls. Servants and handmaids rushed to help her and her party settle in from their lengthy travels. Hope had hurried as quickly as she could down the endless stairs to greet her dear friend, but it seemed as though everyone else beat her to it. More specifically, Reepicheep and his men!

  "A war?" Odette asked, eyes wider than saucers. She hadn't even shed her cloak and boots yet before she and the Narnians were herded into a circle. Streaming cups of tea were strewn out between them. "Reepicheep, you aren't lying to me now, are you? I'm not as gullible as I used to be!"

  "Your Highness, no! I would never seek to deceive you! It truly was a war, enacted by the Fairy Queen Titania! And Queen Hope led us to an undeniably remarkable victory if I may say so myself," Reepicheep boasted. He curled his tail around his needle-like sword, tossing it and catching it with his hands. "It was a surprisingly pleasant call to battle. Queen Titania actually wrote a letter to declare war against us—! Oh! Your Highness, Queen Hope, there you are!"

  Partially out of breath, Hope chirped, "Odette!"

  The blonde sprang to her feet, nearly dropping her teacup had one of Hope's handmaids, Elora, not caught it. (For the record, Hope was adamantly against having handmaids of her own upon her coronation, but the life of a royal was a life without rest, and she needed all the help she could get. The two that tended to her were sweet older ladies who were surprisingly spry for their age. Their names were Elora, who was a Telmarine, and Daisy, who was a badger).

  Odette hauled Hope in for a tight hug. "Ah, there's my girl! I missed you terribly! I have so much to tell you about my adventures. Oh, I regret not begging you to come with me, but you would've found all the political psychobabble so painfully boring. Next time, I promise, you'll accompany me. But first, I must hear about this dispute with the fairies. Queen Titania's still alive? Hasn't it been more than 1,000 years since your treason?"

  Hope's face burned, embarrassed. "Yes... Apparently the fae can live for a few millennia before passing onto Aslan's Country. You can only imagine my surprise when I received her letter. Just my luck she'd send it over the second I'm on my own."

  Odette squeezed her cheeks. "Well, they don't call you Lady Luck for nothing," she teased, winking.

  "Pesky creatures, those fairies are," Reepicheep grumbled. "Just mischievous and-and sneaky and hotheaded, the lot of 'em!"

  Daisy the badger whispered to Odette, "Reepicheep had an unrequired love with a fairy during the war, you know."

  "You have to pity the poor sod," Elora added. "Went on and on about not letting the fairies deceptions trick you, just to be the first to reap their deception."

  "I heard that!" Reepicheep shouted. He crossed his arms, nostrils flared. "If I may clarify the truth, I knew she was deceiving me all along. She complimented my ability with a blade, which is a common compliment I receive! I knew better than to be flattered so easily!"

  "Oh, please, Reep, it's not a compliment. It's simply a fact that you're one of the best in Narnia's infantry," said Hope, but when the mouse turned away, she gave Odette a look that revealed everything she was thinking. The idiot totally got played by a fairy.

  Odette sat again. "Well, all's fair in love and war, my noble knight." Reepicheep scurried up the arm of her chair, perching beside her. "Alright, start from the beginning! Queen Titania wrote you a declaration of war?"

  "I wasn't aware they made pens small enough to transcribe such messages," mumbled Elora, who often thought too hard about the logistics of magic and magical creatures. It was one of Hope's favorite traits about the older woman. She was inquisitive in all the ways Edmund often was, favoring reason to rhyme. Sometimes, talking to her made the sting of missing him lessen. Just a little bit.

  In hindsight, the Great Fairy War was a hilarious series of events. Queen Titania — yes, the same Fairy Queen that had Hope banished from Wysteria and nearly beheaded — wrote a letter congratulating the new rulers of Narnia for restoring the land and crowning three new royals. Of course, she added that she was especially eager to celebrate the coronation of the Bright Queen, who was famous in Pine Hollow history for committing treason against the fae alongside her soul-bound husband (who, also very conveniently, was absent from the kingdom).

  Now, Pine Hollow may have been an independent kingdom from Narnia, small and often missed on maps. But that didn't mean they couldn't declare war on Narnia — or more specifically, Hope.

  Hope was the Captain of the Royal Guard, this much was true. However, she was exhausted of fighting. Frankly, she wasn't sure how to sword-fight such tiny yet mighty creatures in the first place. And the fact of the matter was that the fairies could overpower Narnia with their strange magic alone.

  So, Hope did what she thought Edmund might praise her for (because it was either brilliant, hilarious, or plainly foolish). She wrote back to Queen Titania hoping they could discuss the matter and come to a truce before any blood was shed.

  This was easier said than done. For weeks, the fairies camped outside their colony in anticipation for Hope's arrival. Whenever Hope and her small army (which included Reepicheep and four other trusted soldiers) dared to approach Pine Hollow, the fairies attacked. They zipped from the shadows, like twinkling stars singeing the tall grass. One even pretended to betray Queen Titania and joined them by winning Reepicheep's heart. When that fairy revealed her true colors, Hope and her small army awoke the next morning to find her missing and their weapons gone.

  Quickly, Hope learned that the only way they could possibly win a war against the fairies was not through brute strength, not magic, not luck, not death. The way to win the war was through wits — or as Hope liked to inelegantly put it, through pranks.

  Day and night passed. For two months, this war went on. The fairies attacked with curses and inconveniences, all in attempt to somehow behead Hope. Hope and Reepicheep infiltrated their colony most frequently, setting up small traps, building dummies that resembled the Narnian army, constructing mirror mazes around the castle to confuse the fairies, pretending to be ghosts haunting the colony, and leaving tiny notes around Pine Hollow to convince the fairies that each of them was betraying one another. It was an endless mind-game that Hope knew in her bones that Edmund would've keeled over laughing at.

  Eventually, Queen Titania herself trudged from her castle and offered a truce out of sheer frustration after Queen Hope's extremely annoying warfare. And so, Queen Hope Pevensie of the Guiding Stars, the Bright, the Queen of the People, Captain of Narnia's Royal Guard, and Knight of the Noble Order of the Table, adopted a new title.

  Fairy Conquerer.

  Which was hilarious because she hadn't actually killed any fairies, but according to Reepicheep, it sounded much more impressive than "Fairy Compromiser," so she kept it. For the sake of the storybooks and history books and everything in between.

  And maybe because, yeah, the damn mouse was right. It did sound pretty cool.

  Once the story was over, Odette sheepishly lifted her tea cup to her lips. "Well, I'm glad no lives were lost in that war because I fear we may have a problem." She took a long sip. "I may have... ventured into the north."

  Hope tensed, then slowly craned her neck toward her. "The north," she repeated. "As in, the north with all of the Giants? The north we told you not to visit?"

  Odette took another long sip.

  "Odette Briar Dunbar."

  "...Maybe... And... um..." Another sip. Odette gave a crooked smile. "I... may have accidentally started a war between the Giants of the North and Narnia."

  And so, Queen Odette of the Watchful Moon, the Selfless, and Empress of Wysteria, too, gained a new title.

  Giant Stirrer.

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  Again, it was a total misunderstanding.

  Odette only ended up in the north because the bloody map was turned the wrong way on her journey home, and no one realized it until it had become suspiciously cold, and the ground became mountains. Upon attempting to explain this to the few Giants they came across along the way, the Giants interpreted the Narnians' story as a lie, an attempt to start a war against the North. Odette had insisted that Narnia was sick and tired of fighting wars, but they wouldn't believe her.

  And just when their predicaments couldn't get any worse, because Caspian was still overseas, and they were heading into one war after another, there came news of a Pirate King setting sail for Narnia.

  "Do we even have a Navy?" Odette had asked upon hearing the news. She was pacing around Hope's office, trying to keep her voice low. "We've got Giants coming in from the north, pirates arriving from the east. We're lousy rulers, Hope! We're miserable at this! We should quit!"

  "Don't be ridiculous!" Hope hissed through her teeth. "We can't quit!"

  "I mean, are we even being paid to rule? Who's our boss?"

  Hope pressed her face into her hands as she sat at her desk. Now, she understood why the Pevensies and Dunbars were always at their desks or counseling with their advisors. How did King David ever juggle all of this and keep Wysteria somewhat afloat?

  "Pirates," Hope laughed, bitter. "Bloody pirates! I told you, Ode. I told you and Caspian that venturing into the sea was a foolish dream. I told you it would only open new doors to trouble. Now, we have pirates at our doorstep, Caspian has yet to return from his original voyage, and we have to win another war! I have half the mind to believe the Pirate King killed Caspian! Ode, what do we do if that's true? How do we explain to Aslan that we lost Narnia to pirates on land!?"

  Odette threw herself into a chair, if only to steady herself. Her golden mane was released from its usual braids, leaving her waves to gather against her back. "Oh, forget the stupid pirates! We're going to get squashed to death by Giants! And we won't even live long enough for you to say I told you so!"

  Hope blinked at her. "I told you so."

  Odette sat up. "Oh. I stand corrected."

  "You're sitting, actually."

  "Great. She has jokes while we're about to get gutted from two ends. Hey, I'll take the pirates if you take the Giants."

  "Huh? Why must I take on the Giants?"

  Odette shrugged. "You hate the ocean."

  Hope couldn't even argue. She nodded and extended a hand across her desk. "Fair enough. It's deal."

  "What's a deal?" asked Caspian as he entered the study.

  "We're deciding how we'd prefer to die now that Caspian's been killed by the Pirate King," Odette said simply. "Hope's going to get squashed or eaten by the Giants while I drown to death by the Pirate King's blade. I figure if we get it over with, it'll end sooner—"

  "Wait a minute!" Hope gasped. She sprang out of her seat. "CASPIAN? YOU'RE ALIVE!"

  The Telmarine King had entered the study so stealthily, neither girl would've noticed him if he never spoke. In the three months they'd all been apart, King Caspian X looked the most different. He was somehow taller, somehow leaner than he once was. His chestnut brown hair was longer now, his facial hair was less patchy, and his skin wore a tanned glow. Caspian had left Narnia a boy with a dream of the seas and, at long last, he returned home a man, almost-conquerer of the tides.

  After being wrestled into a group hug, Caspian finally managed to squeak out, "So, what's this I'm hearing about a Pirate King killing me? I believe I missed that invitation."

  "B-But they said—! They said you—!" Odette stammered, sweeping her hair out of her face. "They said a ship was approaching from the east—"

  "Yes, that would be my ship," Caspian laughed. "Have you forgotten already what it looks like? It hasn't been that long."

  "Can you blame us?" Hope demanded, pointing a finger at him. "Narnia isn't known for its outstanding Navy. When was the last time you saw ships sailing in and out of the kingdom?"

  "Wait, so you mean to tell me there isn't a Pirate King?" Odette fired.

  "Well, he's alive, so there must not be," Hope said. "Which means this is another elaborate fairytale! Lion's Mane, don't you see, Ode? The Narnians got confused and thought Caspian was the Pirate King this whole time!"

  Odette deflated with relief into Hope's arms. "So, there isn't going to be a war?"

  "War?" Caspian repeated. "What war?"

  "Between the Narnians and pirates? No," Hope said. "Between the Narnians and Giants, on the other hand? Yes. Imminently, yes."

  "Giants?" Caspian echoed again. His smile fell. "Now you're going to tell me the fairies are wagering a war against us, too."

  "You're a few weeks late for that one, actually," Odette coughed.

  "Hold on a minute," said Caspian. He pointed at the blonde this time. "You went into the North, didn't you?" He didn't give her a chance to defend herself. "You did! You did, and now we've got Giants rebelling against the Narnian crown!?"

  "It was a huge misunderstanding!" Odette attempted, but her story was drowned out by the three Narnian rulers shouting over one another.

  At long last, King Caspian X of the powerful winds, the Navigator, Lord of Telmar, Knight of the Noble Order of the Table, and Seafarer gained a new title, as well.

  Pirate King.

  And so, for the next few months, the Fairy Conquerer, the Giant Stirrer, and the Pirate King joined forces to defeat the Giants in the North. Another war they somehow managed to win despite constantly yelling at each other.

  The history books would claim they might've secretly hated each other. But to those who lived those elaborate fairytales, those who really understood the rulers of Narnia, would know that this was simply how they proved that they really loved each other.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I have no explanation for this chapter other than I think it'd be really funny if Hope, Caspian, and Odette spent their rule accidentally causing wars over miscommunications. You'd think I'd have better ideas after I just binged all of Game of Thrones this month, but no, this is where I'm at. :)

I am simply only capable of writing really silly nonsense or angst and drama. And I think that's honestly hilarious!