CHAPTER 17: CAMP GREENDALE, PART 2 !

SUNDAY, 11:43 P.M.

Officer Cackowski listens intently as Jared explains Saturday's adventure.

"So," Jared says, "after a quick breakfast, we started our day with some birdwatching."

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SATURDAY, 9:45 A.M.

"Everyone, gather round!" the Dean says, stopping the group on the nature trail. "Today is all about the green-striped swallow. Anyone who snaps a photo of it gets extra credit!"

"For what class?!" Garrett asks, voice cracking.

The Dean ignores his question.

"Onward!" he says excitedly.

The main walking path winds through the Greendale Forest. The mid-June sun beats down on the students. Besides sweat, they had to battle a plethora mosquitos.

Troian smacks a bug on her neck and scowls.

"This is miserable!" she grumbles.

"Aw, come on," Eve says. "It's not that bad."

"It's hot!" Troian snaps. "Boiling, boiling hot! And it's too sunny! And I forgot my bug spray."

"I have some!" Leila says. She pulls a bottle out of a giant backpack and hands it to Troian.

Leila's backpack is overly stocked with practically anything a camper would need. After her health struggles in high school, she knows that emergencies can happen at any time. It's best to be prepared for any and all scenarios.

"Do you have snacks in that thing?" Randy asks, eyeing her bag hungrily.

"We just ate breakfast!" Steven says with a snort.

"All I had was a stack of marshmallows," Randy moans, holding his stomach. "I'm starving over here!"

"Here," Magnitude says, catching up to Randy. He opens his own backpack and hands the man a popcorn ball. "Enjoy a Pop-Pop-popcorn ball. My mom made them."

Randy looks at the ball and tears up.

He hugs Magnitude tightly and whispers in his ear, "You are my hero. Now, I owe you my life."

Magnitude chuckles and wrenches himself from the hug.

"Haha, good one, Randy."

"I'm serious, Magnitude," Randy says, eyes widened. "I will never fail you."

Magnitude gives Randy a weak thumbs-up and darts off, joining Abbi and Ezra near the front of the group.

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SUNDAY, 11:47 P.M.

"We spent forever wandering through the forest yesterday morning," Jared says, "and only saw robins and crows."

"So you didn't see that fancy bird, eh?" Cackowski says.

"Not yet," Steven cuts in.

Cackowski raises an eyebrow.

"Really?" he says. "Does the green-tailed sparrow-"

"Green-striped swallow," Ezra corrects.

"Yes. That. Does the green-striped swallow have anything to do with the missing campers, forest fire, and golf cart crash you all caused?"

Ezra blushes and clears his throat.

"Technically," he says, "we didn't start the fire."

Luna hums a few familiar notes reminiscent of the song of the same name. Riwa and Claire explode into snickers.

Officer Cackowski turns to them and glares.

"This isn't funny," he says. "You all could've gotten very, very hurt-and you could've burned down the whole forest."

Luna gives Cackowski her signature steely look.

"Listen, Cop-Kowski," she says. "Ezra's right. We didn't start that fire, or cause any of that other shit. It's all because of the bird."

"Really? I'm supposed to believe that?"

"Yes!" she says. Luna crosses her arms. "At lunchtime, we stopped at a lookout point near Lake Greendale. Then, we continued birdwatching. But that British idiot suggested we split up to find the swallow faster. And anyone with the IQ of a third-grader knows splitting up when wandering the forest is a bad idea."

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SATURDAY, 1:15 P.M.

"Split up?" the Dean says, hands on his hips. "Professor Duncan, I'm not sure that's such a good idea."

"Of course it is!" Duncan says. He takes a swig from a foul-smelling canteen and stands from the (rather uncomfortable) log he was sitting on. "The faster we find the dumb bird, the faster we can return to our campsite for s'mores and peppermint Schnapps."

"I don't know," the Dean says, shuffling from foot to foot. "Maybe all us Human Beings should stay together..."

"Come on, old man!" Leonard says. "Let us split up!"

The Dean narrows his eyes.

"Oh, be quiet, Leonard," he says. "Who are you calling old?"

Leonard grumbles something unintelligible and gobbles down more trail mix.

"Okay, fine!" the Dean says. "Students, split off into groups of three. For the rest of the afternoon, you all can wander the nature trails freely. Just remember to be kind to the flora and fauna, don't wander off the walking trails, and keep your eyes peeled for the green-striped swallow!"

And so they did just that.

Luna, Claire, and Dylan break off into a group and begin walking the Grizzly Trail.

"Anybody have any reception?" Claire asks, holding her phone up into the air.

"Nope, sorry," Dylan says, glancing at his own phone's screen.

Luna also shakes her head.

"It's so empty out here," she says, eyes scanning the horizon. "If we all died, it would probably take them weeks to find our bodies."

Dylan sighs.

"Luna, we're like ten minutes from the lookout point."

"Still. The trees are so dense...no one to hear us scream."

Dylan takes a big breath, and then shouts, "AHHHHHHHHHH!" as loud as possible.

From a few trails over, the trio hears Abbi shout, "Dylan?! Are you okay?"

"I'm good, Abs," he shouts back. "Just stubbed my toe. Carry on."

Dylan smirks at Luna, who glowers back at him.

"Is it your mission in life to undermine me, Daniels?"

"Guys, shut up for like, two seconds!" Claire says. "I finally got bars."

She's balancing on a tree stump, phone raised high above her head. She types furiously with her neck craned at the screen.

"Who are you talking too?" Luna asks. "All our friends are here in the forest right now."

"Some of us have friends outside of school," Claire sniffs.

"Oh, it must be Rodrick!" Dylan says. "How's he doing?"

A whoosh sound indicates a sent text. Claire, satisfied, nods and tucks her phone back in her pocket.

"It's not Rodrick," she says simply, before hopping off the tree stump. There's an extra spring in her step as she walks back down the trail. "Hurry up, slowpokes!"

Dylan and Luna share a curious look before shrugging and following her, eyes peeled for the special bird.

Meanwhile, Ezra, Abbi, and Garrett walk along the Fox Trail.

Ezra tries to be casual and hold Abbi's hand. Unfortunately, every time he builds up the courage, she notices something new in the trees and darts away, leaving Ezra's hand dangerously close to Garrett's sweaty palms.

"Look!" Abbi says at one of these instances. "A chipmunk!"

She waves at the small brown creature. It gazes down at her with beady eyes before disappearing into the leaves.

Garrett notices how close Ezra's hand is to his own.

"Dude!" Garrett squeaks, yanking his hand away. "What the heck are you doing?"

"Sorry, Garrett, I wasn't-"

Garrett sticks his nose in the air, stomping away.

Ezra blushes and follows.

On the Turtle Trail, Randy stumbles over yet another tree root trying to keep up with Riwa and Magnitude.

"Damn it!" he says. "I probably should've invested in some hiking boots."

He inspects his bedazzled Nikes. The purple rhinestones on the side of his shoes spell out the phone number for his store.

"Yeah," Riwa says with a chuckle. "Those are dynamic, but not very functional."

"I like them," Magnitude offers. "They've got a certain quality. I can't place it, except for...Pop-Pop!"

Riwa and Randy erupt into laughter.

"You always know just what to say," Riwa says. "Now, according to my guidebook, the swallow likes to hunt for worms around this time of day. Get your binoculars and cameras ready!"

After a few more minutes of walking, a rustle in the trees above causes the trio to look up as fast as possible. They hear a caw, caw and see a the glimmer of a green feather.

"Pop-Pop!" Magnitude says. "It's the green-striped swallow!"

"Everyone, hold on," Riwa says. She raises her camera carefully. "If we stay completely still-"

Randy accidentally snaps a twig in his gaudy shoes. The bird caws once more before flying deeper into the brush.

"I've got it!" Randy says. He wields his own camera and charges between the trees.

"Randy, stop!" Riwa yells. "We aren't supposed to wander off the walking trails!"

"I WANT THAT EXTRA CREDIT!" Randy bellows, causing more birds to fly off into the sky.

Riwa and Magnitude share a look.

"Should we follow him?" Magnitude asks hesitantly.

Riwa shrugs.

Suddenly, they hear Randy shout.

"HELP!" he calls. "HELP, I'M STUCK!"

"Randy!" Riwa calls. "We're coming!"

The two of them sprint deeper into the forest, leaving no trace of their presence on the trails behind.

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{Posted November 12th, 2020}

A/N Uh-oh. Randy, Riwa, and Magnitude are lost in the woods! Stay tuned for next time.

QOTD: Would you rather live in Greendale, Pawnee, or Schitt's Creek?