CHAPTER 18: CAMP GREENDALE, PART 3 !

SATURDAY, 1:32 P.M.

Magnitude and Riwa push through the forest, searching for Randy.

"Randy!" Riwa calls. "Randy, where are you?"

"Here!" he yells back. His voice sounds close and far away all at once.

"Where's here?" Magnitude says. The charismatic boy takes a few more steps forward, stepping over branches. "There's nothing here but a bunch of-agh!"

Magnitude disappears from sight, as if he's been sucked into the earth.

"Magnitude!" Riwa shouts.

"Ugh, ouch!"

Riwa cautiously steps forward, stopping before she gets to the thicket that swallowed Magnitude whole.

Sure enough, Magnitude stepped right into a bear trap. Now covered in leaves and twigs, he stands at the bottom of a deep hole with Randy.

"There are big ole pits in the ground!" Randy bellows.

Magnitude grimaces and scratches at his arms.

"Now you tell me!" he moans. "I'm Pop-Pop-positive that I hate this!"

"Hang on!" Riwa says. "I'll go get help."

"Wait!" Randy says. "Don't leave us! It's scary down here!"

"It'll only be a few minutes," Riwa says patiently. "I'll just run to the ranger station and get Ranger Robin."

She turns on her heel, starting to leave. However, she's all turned around. Which direction did she and Magnitude come from? Why does every tree look the exact damn same?

"Aw, shit!" she mutters.

She kneels on the ground and starts digging through her backpack.

"Are you there, God?" Randy yells up at the sky. "It's me, Randy!"

"Quiet, I can't concentrate!" Riwa says, yanking a map of the forest out of her backpack and studying it intently.

Randy gasps.

"God?!"

"That's Riwa!" Magnitude says, incredulous at Randy's constant state of oblivion.

"Oh. Right."

Riwa scans her map. They must be in the patch of forest called Grizzly Gulch. If so, the ranger station should only be a few miles northeast. Probably. Maybe. Hopefully.

Riwa stands once and refolds the map.

"Okay," she says, calling into the bear trap. "I'll be back in no time."

She ties a purple bandanna to a nearby tree.

"Sit tight!"

With that, she marches on.

Magnitude sighs and sits cross-legged in the bottom of the pit. Randy sits next to him and whimpers nervously.

"She'll be back soon," Magnitude says kindly. "No need to worry!"

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MONDAY, 12:01 A.M.

Randy scoffs.

"Yeah, she was not back soon."

Officer Cackowski raises an eyebrow.

"It's not my fault!" Riwa says. "I got a little turned around...okay, so a lot turned around."

"She got lost," Magnitude pipes up. "Absolutely, completely lost."

Riwa narrows her eyes.

"Yes, Magnitude," she says through clenched teeth. "I think everyone understands that now."

"She ran into T, Leonard, the Dean, and I eventually," Leila says, gesturing to Troian and the oldest member of the Human Beings. "She was covered in a rash from some stray poison oak, so we kept our distance, but lead her back to the Ranger station."

"That was at about 4," Troian says.

Officer Cackowski makes a note.

"So," he says. "You get to the station, and Ranger Robin helps you track down your friends?"

"That's what was supposed to happen," Leila says. "But I think Eve can tell you things didn't go according to plan..."

🏌️‍♀️ 🏌️‍♀️🏌️‍♀️

SATURDAY, 4:45 P.M.

Riwa, Troian, Leila, Leonard, and the Dean stand at their campsite with three rangers.

Riwa explains to Ranger Robin what happened.

"I think they're stuck in a bear trap in the Grizzly Gulch," Riwa explains. "I tied a bandanna to a tree so we'd be able to find them again."

"That was very smart of you," Robin says. "Dave, take Riwa to our station and get her some ointment for that rash. Lonnie and I will take a golf cart to Grizzly Gulch to pick them up."

With that, the rangers (and Riwa) leave the clearing.

The Dean nervously wrings his hands together.

"I knew we should've stayed together!" he says. "It's almost time for dinner and none of the other groups are back yet! What if they're all stuck in ditches too?"

"That's nothing," Leonard sniffs. "When I was a young soldier, I spent months terrain way more treacherous than this."

"But the students aren't soldiers!" the Dean cries out. "They're my students! I swear, Professor Duncan is going to hear some strong words from me when he returns from...wherever he is."

"I think he went with Steven's group," Troian says.

"Oh, good," the Dean says. "If anyone can keep that tipsy Brit in line, it's a fellow educator."

Unfortunately, deep in the Greendale Forest, Steven wasn't having much luck with Duncan.

"For the last time!" he snaps. "You can't get maple syrup from licking maple leaves!"

Duncan paused with a big leaf centimeters from his mouth.

"You sure?" he says. "I'm definitely getting maple scents from this bad boy."

Steven groans while Eve and Jared snicker.

He turns to them and glowers.

"Can you two help me?" he demands.

"Who says we aren't helping?" Jared says. "I'm the one who took his flask."

"I think the help cancels out if you get drunk," Eve teases, grabbing the near-empty flask from Jared's hands and shaking it.

Jared snatches it back.

"I'm draining his supply," he says. "So he can't get more wasted."

"Jokes on you!" Duncan slurs. "I've got plenty more at the campsite. Hey, wait..."

He looks around at the tall trees, dazed.

"Where are we?"

"We're somewhere on the Beaver Trail," Steven says patiently. "We're looking for the green-striped swallow, but it's obvious there aren't any left, or if they are, they are smart enough to stay far, far away from the absolutely idiotic people of Greendale."

Eve looks up at the branches hanging over their head.

"I think Steven's right," she says. "The swallow isn't keen on visitors. Let's head back to the campsite."

"I second that," Jared says. "Those s'mores are calling my name."

However, Duncan notices something shining in the trees.

"Hey," he says, pointing. "What's that?"

The other three turn, and squint into the treeline.

They all step closer until a dilapidated golf cart parked under an oak comes into view.

It's painted brown, with the Greendale Parks and Recreation logo printed on the side. It's faded, however, after many years in the sun. It looks like it hasn't been moved in a long, long time.

"Whoa," Jared says, stepping closer to the cart and patting the hood. "This is a McMasterson 5000!"

Eve smirks at him.

"How do you know so much about golf carts?"

He shrugs and smirks back.

"I have my ways."

"We should ride this baby back to the campsite!" Duncan says excitedly. He stumbles into the driver's seat. "Dibs on driving!"

"No way," Steven says. "First of all, you're drunk! Second of all, we can't just steal this. It belongs to the rangers."

"But why is it all the way out here?" Jared asks. "We'd be doing them a service if we returned it to the ranger station."

Steven starts to protest, but sighs.

"Fine," he says, tiredly. "I can't fight with you people anymore. But I'm driving."

He shoos Duncan to the passenger seat and takes the driver's seat for himself.

Jared and Eve settle into the backward-facing seats.

Steven reaches into the glove box and finds the spare key. He turns the ignition.

The engine sputters and dies.

"Damn," Eve says. "I was kind of excited for our joyride."

"This is further proof that we should just walk," Steven says. "C'mon."

"Not so fast," Jared says. "I have a myriad of special skills. One such skill is hotwiring cars. I'm sure it's the same principle with carts."

Steven protests some more, but is ignored. Jared shoves him aside and Duncan stumbles to the back with Eve.

Jared begins his work, brow furrowed.

"What'ddya say, Eve?" he says, turning with a wink. "You like bad boys?"

"I would say yes," Eve deadpans, "but I know for a fact that you're wearing Spongebob Squarepants socks right now. Not very 'bad boy,' eh?"

Jared rolls his eyes.

"Whatever," he says. "He's a pop culture icon."

He connects two wires, and the engine roars to life. Jared beams.

"Whoo!" Jared says. "Hell yeah! Let's get this baby going."

"All right," Steven says. "I think I should drive-you're drunk too!"

However, in his clumsy efforts to switch seats with Jared, his foot stomps on the gas.

The golf cart, as if possessed by the spirit of a car from 2 Fast 2 Furious, zooms forward.

"Whoa!" Jared says, gripping the wheel. He yanks the wheel to the side to avoid running into a blueberry bush. "Get your foot off the gas!"

Steven removes his foot quickly, but it's too late. The cart continues its rapid descent down the Beaver Trail, gaining speed as they continue downhill.

Jared stomps the brakes to no avail.

"Brakes are shot!" he yells. "Hold on tight!"

Eve and Steven yell in fear. Duncan screams in excitement.

"WA-HOOOOOO!" he yells. "THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVERRRR!"

🌳 🌳 🌳

{Posted November 28th, 2020}

A/N Only one more chapter of this mini-story, and then onto Season 2!

QOTD: Favorite holiday song? Mine is either "Wonderful Christmastime" or "Sleigh Ride."