CHAPTER 5: NIGHT ON THE TOWN, PART 2 !

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The Greendale Multiplex was crowded for a weeknight. Fellow high school and college students mingle in the lobby of the theater, trying to avoid getting caught sneaking in snacks.

Claire cuts through the crowd to find Rodrick and help him save seats for their big group.

"Wow!" Abbi says, looking around at the crowd in awe after Claire walks away. "This is incredible!"

"It's not that great," Troian says disdainfully. "It's only got 16 screens."

"That's 16 more than I've ever seen!" Abbi says, eyes shining.

Dylan turns to her with a furrowed brow.

"Abbi," he asks, "have you never been to a movie theater before?"

"This is my first time," Abbi gushes. "I can't wait! I want the full movie theater experience."

"Then you definitely need drinks and snacks," Eve says. "I want to get one of those giant cherry slushees."

"Do you think they sell swine livers at the concession stand?" Luna asks. "My date is famished."

"Wait wait wait," Leila says, putting a hand up. "You brought a date?"

Luna nods. She puts her arm in the air like she's holding someone by the shoulders.

"My husband," she says darkly. "Nikola Tesla."

The others stare at her, unsure what to say.

"Nice to meet you," Riwa says awkwardly, holding a hand up to the air by Luna.

"He's a ghost," Luna says, sticking her nose in the air. "He doesn't shake hands."

Riwa recoils.

"Right, right," she says. She clears her throat. "Eve, let's get into line. We'll get drinks for everyone."

"Great!" Abbi says. "Dylan and I can get snacks. Luna, Leila, Troian, you three find Claire. I hope her friend got us good seats!"

The group disperses.

While in line for drinks, Riwa's phone buzzes.

She quickly pulls it out of her pocket, but frowns when she reads the notification.

"Damn," she mutters. "Not what I was looking for."

Eve tries to get a glimpse at the screen.

"If you don't mind me asking," she says, "what are you looking for?"

Riwa blushes, but shows Eve the screen.

The notification is from a Google alert. It's about a rich businessman in Denver who was arrested for tax evasion.

"I set up a Google alert for 'rich men in Colorado'," Riwa says. "But it's not for what you're probably thinking!"

Eve puts her hands up in surrender.

"Hey, I don't judge," she says.

Riwa sighs, before looking left and right as if she's afraid of eavesdroppers.

"Okay, can I tell you a secret?" she whispers.

Eve, intrigued, nods and leans closer.

"I love secrets," she says. "I have about 28 juicy ones myself."

Riwa takes a deep breath before, saying in one big rush, "I'm trying to find my father."

Eve's eyes widen.

"Whoa, seriously?" she says.

"I don't know anything about him," Riwa continues, "except that he lives in Colorado and he's some kind of hotshot rich guy who hit it and quit it."

"You have a secret rich dad?" Eve says. Her eyes glaze over and she looks off into the middle distance dreamily. "I'm massively jealous."

"Don't be!" Riwa says. She opens and closes her fists as anger bubbles in her chest. "My mom has spent about 20 years taking care of me with no help. Now, it's my turn to take care of her. I'll get my degree and get a good job, and, while I'm at it, I'll track down my father and he can pay for the years he missed."

"I love that plan," Eve says. "When you find him-"

"If I find him."

"Right, right. If you find him, do you have any super badass speech planned?"

Riwa tilts her head to the side.

"What kind of speech?"

"You know," Eve says. "Something about responsibility, and family, and stepping up. A lot of jerks could use a speech like that."

"Honestly?" Riwa says. "I'll probably just ask him for a big check."

Eve chuckles.

"I don't blame you," she says. "If he's half as rich as someone like Pierce Hawthorne, you'll be set for life."

Riwa's eyes widen.

"Pierce Hawthorne?" she asks. "Why does that name sound familiar?"

"He's a student at Greendale," Eve explains. "I started a work study program in the front office, and a lot of students come meet the Dean for various grievances. Pierce is in there all the time demanding a seniors-only lounge. I think it's just an excuse for him to hit on old ladies."

"And this Pierce guy is rich?"

Eve nods.

"Oh yeah," she says. "Absolutely loaded. He's the heir to the Hawthorne Wipes company."

Riwa pales.

"Oh my God," she says.

Eve doesn't notice Riwa's reaction, and continues babbling.

"He's in Chang's 102 class," she continues. "He's in the same study group as my friend Abed."

"That totally makes sense," Riwa murmurs.

"Not really," Eve says. "I don't know how Abed and Pierce joined the same group. They're pretty different-"

"No," Riwa says, "I mean it totally makes sense that Pierce Hawthorne could be my father!"

Eve bursts out laughing.

"Ha! Good one."

"No, I'm serious!"

Eve shakes her head.

"No, you're not," she says, crossing her arms. "Don't jump to conclusions. I was half kidding when I brought him up. And Colorado's a big state! There are plenty of other rich guys that might be your dad."

"No, it's him," Riwa says, eyes shining. "It could be. It must be! Oh my God. I have to call my mom!"

Riwa darts out of line just as the cashier says, "Next customer, please."

Eve grimaces.

"What have I done?" she mutters, stepping up to the drink counter.

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Meanwhile, the Boys' Night Out crew sits at a table at The Shot Spot.

Randy, Chang, and Jared are already buzzed. They giggle and flip through the bar's karaoke songbook.

Ezra and Steven nurse their beers and sit at a corner booth, praying they won't be asked to sing.

Troy and Abed slide into the booth with them. Troy slams a mountain-sized platter of deluxe nachos on the table and mimics a trumpet sound.

"Hear ye, hear ye!" he announces. "It's Nacho Time!"

"Cool," Abed says. "Cool, cool, cool."

"Wow," Steven says. "That's...tall."

"I hope you two are hungry," Troy says excitedly. "If we can finish this plate in 30 minutes, we get our picture on the wall!"

He points to the wall behind the bar, where a bulletin board hangs. Pinned to it are photographs of previous winners holding empty plates and tiny cheese-wheel-shaped trophies.

"Thirty minutes, eh?" Ezra says, eyeing the plate. "I could probably clear my quadrant in ten."

Steven smirks, bemused.

"'Quadrant'?" he asks.

"Every year," Ezra explains, "my family and I go to the county fair. Not to brag, but I've won quite a few pie eating contests in my day. The trick is to pace yourself."

"That is the coolest thing I've ever heard," Troy says, eyes shining.

"Eh, it's not that interesting," Ezra says with a shrug. But he can't help but smile. Maybe Boys' Night Out isn't so bad after all...

...Well, until Randy stumbles onto the karaoke stage in a tipsy stupor.

"Helloooooo, Shot Spot!" Randy cries.

The drunken customers whoop and cheer.

"I've got coupons for my store to give away for free!" he shouts into the microphone. "All you have to do to get one is sing along to this very special song."

The opening chords to "Islands in the Stream" begin.

"Now, I'm singing as Dolly Parton," Randy slurs, "but I need a Kenny Rogers. Who in the crowd tonight is gonna be my Kenny?"

"Oooh, pick me!" Chang says, waving his hand in the air from the bar. "Me!"

"No, me!" Jared shouts. "I've got a good voice, man. I can carry the song."

Randy peers through the crowd until he eyes the other Human Beings.

"No," he says. "I think my roommate Skip wants to be Kenny!"

Ezra almost chokes on his bite of nachos.

"No way!" he croaks. "Sorry, Randy."

Randy shrugs.

"Doesn't bother me. I guess I have to sing both parts!"

For the next 4 minutes and 10 seconds, Randy switches between a tenor and a way-too-high falsetto to sing both parts of the song. At the instrumental breaks, he downs a margarita and dances wildly.

Troy, Abed, and Ezra dive into their nachos; Jared and Chang try to start a wave; and Steven watches in awe.

"I hate to say it," Steven says, "but I'm almost impressed."

"By him?" Abed asks, jabbing his thumb in the direction of Randy and the stage.

"Yeah," Steven says. "He's so..."

"Loud?" Ezra offers between bites of nacho. "Erratic?"

"Confident!" Steven says. "I mean, he looks ridiculous, and he doesn't even care."

"He does have a certain Jenny Say Koala," Troy says, taking a sip of club soda.

Ezra pauses, a chip halfway to his mouth.

"What did you say?"

"Jenny Say Koala," Troy repeats. "It means he has a certain quality that's intriguing, but I can't quite place it."

"He means 'je ne sais quoi,'" Abed murmurs. "Just go with it. He thinks he knows French."

Before Ezra can respond, Chang and Jared stumble to their table.

"Ooh, nachos," Chang says, reaching for a chip.

"Eat as many as you want," Abed says. "We're trying to win a prize."

"I like the sound of winning," Jared says. "Let's eat!"

After getting a tray of shots (and two Capri Suns for Abed and Troy), Randy joins the group at the booth.

"Well, boys," he says, "let's all make a toast to friendship and the sanctity of Boys' Night Out."

He hands out the shots and juices and raises his own glass.

"To the boys!" Randy cries.

"To the boys!" the others echo, raising their own drinks.

After downing the shots, Ezra, Jared, and Steven begin to cough. Chang and Randy look unfazed.

"What the hell?!" Jared says.

"Yeah, Randy, what is this?!" Steven asks, eyes watering.

"Apple cider vinegar!" Randy says proudly. "We've got to sober up at least a little before we hit O'Halligan's."

"We can't leave until we finish the nachos!" Troy protests. "I want that cheese wheel trophy!"

Randy rolls his eyes overdramatically.

"Ugh!" he says. "Fine. I'll get more vinegar shots."

Ezra, Steven, and Jared continue to cough and hack. Abed and Troy give them sips of Capri Sun to get the bad taste out of their mouths.

"Wimps," Chang snorts. He downs another vinegar shot, leaving the others to wonder just what kind of strange things their Spanish professor is into.

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At the Multiplex, Claire and her friend Rodrick slouch across a full row of seats, trying to save them for the group. They use their jackets, Claire's purse, and their outstretched arms and legs to claim them.

"Where are your dumb friends?" Rodrick protests. "My legs hurt!"

"They'll be here," Claire snaps. "They're getting drinks and snacks and shit."

"We should've gone to the theater in the mall," Rodrick huffs. "You can reserve seats there."

"Not everyone can spend Daddy's money for $20 tickets," Claire says, giving Rodrick a cold, hard stare.

Rodrick glares back at her. For a tense moment, it seems the two of them are about to come to blows.

Then, they burst out laughing.

"Oh my God," Rodrick says. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too!" Claire says. "I wish you were at Greendale."

"It would be like old times," Rodrick says dreamily.

Troian, Leila, and Luna join them in their row.

"Wow," Leila says. "You guys are committed to the seat save."

"We had to fight off a few junior high kids," Claire says, "but it was worth it. The exact middle row is always the best seat in the house."

She introduces them to Rodrick before they straighten up.

The other girls contribute their purses to the seat saving cause.

"What do you think is taking them so long?" Leila asks, checking her watch. "If they don't hurry, they'll miss the previews."

"For some reason," Luna says, "the previews are what Abbi is most excited for."

"What movie are we seeing, anyway?" Troian asks, attempting to read her ticket stub in the low light.

"It's a horror movie," Claire explains. "Something about goblins, I think."

"I approve," Luna says with a solemn nod.

Rodrick looks up from his phone screen.

"Half the critics say it's terrible," he says. "The other half say it's so bad, it's good."

"So-bad-it's-good movies are my favorite," Leila says with a twinkle in her eye. "It's about time The Room got some competition."

"How scary do you think it'll be?" Troian asks.

"It'll probably be more funny than scary," Claire explains. "Because it's so bad."

Meanwhile, in the lobby, Dylan and Abbi have their arms full of snack trays.

"So popcorn," Abbi says, "chocolate, gummies, and chips. Is that enough?"

"Is that enough?!" Dylan says. "Abbi, we could feed a small army with this! Or a regular-sized army that's not that hungry."

Abbi laughs, and it turns into a snort.

"You're funny!" she says.

She tries to playfully elbow Dylan in the ribs, but she hits him a bit too hard.

His snack tray wobbles, but thankfully, it doesn't fly out of his hand.

"Oops!" Abbi says, blushing.

"No worries," Dylan says. "And, uh, thank you. For the compliment. About me being funny."

They arrive at the door to their theater.

"Wait for me!"

They turn and see Eve, balancing two drink trays.

"Where's Riwa?" Dylan asks, holding the door for her.

"Making a phone call," Eve says with a wheeze. "Almost...made it..."

She wobbles all the way to their row of seats without spilling anything.

"Drink and snack delivery!" Eve says. "Who wants what?"

While the group divvies up the food, the lights dim.

"Previews!" Abbi squeals, squeezing her bag of gummy worms.

Claire leans forward in her seat and counts heads. She notices one is missing.

"Where's Riwa?" she hisses as the first preview begins.

"She had to make a phone call," Abbi whispers back. "Popcorn?"

Claire shakes her head and leans back into her seat.

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"Mom, please!"

"Riwa, sweetie, it is 5:30 in the morning."

"I know, but-"

"If it is early morning here," Riwa's mother, Ms. Palmer, says, "it is nighttime there. You should be studying, or out with friends."

Riwa looks around the Multiplex crowd, which has thinned out as movies start.

"I am out with friends!"

"Then why worry about your father right now?" Ms. Palmer says with a sigh. "I told you, there is no need to track him down."

"But-"

"But nothing. Do not worry about him, all right? Just have fun with your friends, and enjoy your American college experience."

Riwa opens her mouth to protest, but promptly shuts it again.

"All right. I'm sorry, Mom. Love you."

"Love you too."

Riwa hangs up her phone and tucks it in her pocket.

She sulks into the theater to watch a subpar horror movie with her friends, pushing thoughts of fathers and Hawthorne Wipes out of her mind.

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{Posted July 6, 2020}

A/N Monday, Monday, Monday! The best day of the week because it's the day I get to visit Greendale CC. Next week will be the final installment of this "episode", and then it's on to the Valentine's Day episodes! Who's inviting who to the dance? What drama will unfold?! You'll have to wait and see! 😉

QOTD: Who should Rodrick's face claim be?!

Q