original post year: 2014

revised & edited: january 26, 2025

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Akashi

"Why am I paired up with them? I would never do that, that's..."

"Because girls like it when guys do romantic things with other guys. More specifically they like it when you do stuff with Kuroko or Furihata." You tease.

Akashi's eye twitches.

"Why am I even paired up with that Furihata weakling?" Akashi continues to question every single pairing that he finds himself with.

Aomine

"That's disgusting. I'm straight, STRAIGHT!" Aomine yells as he points at the pictures of him and his "pairs." He pretends to throw up, making gagging noises. "STRAIGHT AS A RULER!"

"You know some rulers can bend." You tease.

Aomine rolls his eyes.

"Girls are so disgusting, with minds like these. I bet they get off seeing guys doing things like this to each other." He continues to scroll down the pictures of him and his partner. "My body is better than Kagami's!"

You facepalm.

"Kuroko looks cute as a girl, but his boobs would be small..."

Kise

"Well, I don't mind if I'm partnered up with Kurokocchi~" He smiles as he scrolls down the pictures until he comes across a picture of him and Aomine.

"EWWWWW, (FIRST NAME)CCHI!" He abruptly closes the laptop and closes his eyes. You see his ears turn red.

"I like girls, only." He says, muffling. "And Kurokocchi."

"You're....oh god.." Your sweat drops.

Kuroko

"No."

"Kuroko-kun, they're just fanart-"

"No, I will not accept being an Uke."

Midorima

"How disgusting. Is this what makes girls happy?" Midorima's face turns red and red each time he scrolls down the page, looking at all the fan art. "Such twisted, perverted minds."

"But you and Takao would be cute together~" You tease, giggling to yourself as his facial expression grows in shock.

"(First Name), die. Nanodayo."

"WHAAAAA WHY?!"

Murasakibara

"I only love Muro-chin because he feeds me snacks." You hear him say, along with munches of chips.

"Oh really? But what if Tatsuya was to leave you for Kagami?" You ask, smirking.

"Then I'll crush Kagami-chin."

"You two are officially a couple, I swear... Plus I can't imagine you with anybody else, BUT Tatsuya-kun."

"But I'm with you aren't I, (First Name)-chin?" He says, causing you to blush.

"I'm talking about a boy-on-boy OTP, not you and me, Atsushi." You smile.