the two men stepped into seonghwa's shared apartment, and hongjoong's eyes widened as he took it all in. the ceilings were high, the lighting soft, and everything looked expensive in a way that felt effortless. he did not expect seonghwa to live this lavishly, at least compared to the cramped studio he called home.

"my roommates are out for the night," seonghwa said as he closed the door behind them. "i live with two friends. they're brothers."

he noticed the way hongjoong looked around, clearly impressed, and felt the need to clarify. he did not want the blonde to think he lived alone in all this space.

"oh, that's cool," hongjoong said, smiling. "it's a really nice place."

"thanks," seonghwa replied, returning the smile as he headed toward the kitchen. "you want a cup of coffee? or maybe a glass of wine?"

hongjoong hesitated for only a second before answering. he already felt out of place, and wine sounded like the only thing that could smooth the edges of his discomfort.

"wine sounds great, thanks."

"no problem." seonghwa pulled a bottle from the counter, uncorked it easily, and began pouring two glasses of red. "go ahead and make yourself comfortable on the couch."

hongjoong nodded, walking over to the plush sofa and sinking into it. it felt more expensive than his mattress. seonghwa followed a moment later, glass in hand, and sat beside him. he was just close enough that their shoulders almost brushed.

"i've never been in an apartment in soho before," hongjoong said, sipping slowly.

"yeah, it's a nice area," seonghwa replied, his tone easy. "my friends let me move in with them when i came back to manhattan. they had a two-bedroom next door, but this one opened up and we got lucky. kind of perfect timing."

"yeah... no kidding," hongjoong murmured, trying not to sound too envious.

his own place was barely livable. a building that cracked every time the wind blew, with peeling paint and creaky floors. his bed sat a few feet from his fridge. there was no tv, no table, no space to think. he did not say any of that, but it pulsed in the silence between them.

"i grew up in the upper east side," seonghwa said softly, swirling his wine. "the condo was beautiful. my parents worked really hard for it."

hongjoong nodded, feeling something sharp twist in his chest. he wished he could relate. he wished his memories of home did not feel so heavy. his father had been more ghost than man, and his mother; well, he missed her every day. but their house had been cold, in more ways than one.

"must've been nice growing up like that," he said, his voice quieter now.

seonghwa turned toward him, studying his expression. "how were your parents growing up?"

hongjoong froze for a second, fingers tightening slightly around his glass.

he did not want to answer. not yet. the words were there, but they felt too heavy to say out loud.

so he just looked down at the wine, and did not speak.

and thankfully, seonghwa did not push.

"i'm sorry if it's a touchy subject. don't feel like you have to tell me," seonghwa said gently, his voice quiet in the warm light of the apartment. he reached out, almost without thinking, and placed a hand on hongjoong's thigh. it was innocent, but it startled him.

hongjoong blinked, heart skipping at the unexpected touch.

"oh, i-it's okay. yeah," he said, eyes flicking down before he reached for his wine. "i just don't really like talking about my past. it's kind of... complicated."

seonghwa nodded and did not move his hand. he left it there, steady and grounding, like he was trying to say he did not mind the mess, like he would stay anyway.

"maybe we can watch something?" seonghwa offered after a pause, his tone light again.

hongjoong let out a breath of relief, grateful for the shift. "yeah. that sounds good."

seonghwa grabbed the remote and scrolled through netflix, the soft hum of the tv filling the space.

"what kind of movies do you like? horror? drama? romance?" he asked, tilting his head toward hongjoong.

"no preference," hongjoong replied as he finished his glass. "put on whatever you'd like."

"hmm," seonghwa smiled a little to himself. "how about the notebook? it's one of my favorites."

hongjoong nodded, forcing a smile that did not quite reach his eyes. "sounds good."

he still felt the echo of the conversation lingering, like dust in his chest. thinking about his parents always did that. left him feeling a little hollow, a little smaller.

"want another glass of wine? maybe a snack?" seonghwa asked, already getting to his feet.

"yeah, i'll have another. whatever snacks you have are fine," hongjoong replied softly.

a few minutes later, seonghwa returned with two refilled glasses and a small bowl of popcorn. he settled beside hongjoong on the couch, this time close enough that their knees touched.

the movie started, the familiar swell of music filling the quiet room. at first, hongjoong tried to focus; the romantic setting, the rain-soaked kisses, the bittersweet tension. but before long, his mind started to drift.

his eyes stayed on the screen, but the story blurred around the edges.

he thought about his mother. how she used to hum while cooking, how tired her hands always looked. he thought about the way she used to brush his hair off his forehead when he was sick, soft and absentminded.

he thought about the silence of their house when his father did not come home.

a lump rose in his throat, unexpected.

and then, in the back of his mind, lyrics floated up.

"here in the shadow
of all that's said and done.
the love that you borrowed
in the morning's come and gone.
you run from tomorrow
but the madness catches up.
the pain from the window
yeah, it all keeps stacking up."

he blinked slowly, hearing luke hemmings' voice echo somewhere deep inside him. 'repeat' always struck something raw in him.

he never said it out loud, but it felt like someone had taken a look into his head and written it down.

he sipped his wine again, the red liquid warm and slow on his tongue. the characters on the screen were crying, holding each other like the world might end, and hongjoong thought about what it meant to be loved like that.

to be remembered like that.

he did not even realize seonghwa had wrapped his arm around his waist, and that he was watching him, not the movie.

seonghwa was not sure what pulled him forward. maybe it was the intimacy of the moment, the softness of the light, the way hongjoong looked so far away and yet so close. maybe it was the wine, or the movie, or just something reckless in his chest that whispered now.

so, slowly, seonghwa leaned in.

but the moment his lips were just inches away, hongjoong flinched.

his hand came up, gently but firmly pushing against seonghwa's shoulder.

"i—i can't," he breathed, eyes wide. he stood up fast, almost knocking over his brand new glass of wine in the process.

"hongjoong—" seonghwa's voice cracked as he stood up too, alarm blooming in his chest.

"i'm sorry," hongjoong mumbled, already moving toward the door. "i just... i need to go."

"wait—wait, please," seonghwa rushed after him, panic quickly replacing the warmth in his face. "i didn't mean to scare you, i swear. i don't know why i did that, i just—"

hongjoong did not turn around. he just grabbed his coat from the back of the chair, his fingers shaking slightly.

"it's fine," hongjoong said, but his voice sounded anything but.

the door opened, then clicked shut.

and seonghwa was left standing alone in the middle of the quiet apartment, the movie still playing behind him. his chest rose and fell fast as he stared at the door, heart racing.

"shit," he whispered, raking a hand through his hair. "what the hell was i thinking?"

he sat back down hard on the couch, burying his face in his hands.

he had not planned it. he had not even thought it through. he just... leaned. and now hongjoong was gone.

oop

-vic