the knocking came just past two a.m.

soft at first, almost hesitant. then louder. three thumps, a pause, and then two more, like whoever was on the other side could not decide whether they wanted to be there at all.

seonghwa blinked awake from where he had been half-asleep on the couch, wrapped in a blanket he had not bothered to fold from earlier. the apartment was quiet, the hum of the fridge and the occasional car passing outside the only sounds. for a second, he thought he had imagined it.

but then, he heard another knock. louder this time. more insistent.

he stood slowly, heart already thudding for reasons he did not want to admit. his steps were careful, cautious, like maybe if he moved slowly enough, it would not be what he feared. or maybe it would be exactly what he hoped.

he opened the door and there he was.

hongjoong stood in the hallway, swaying slightly, eyes glassy and unfocused. his hair was a mess, half sticking to his forehead from sweat or maybe rain, and his jacket was slipping off one shoulder. he looked like a song played out of tune; messy, soft, and familiar in a way that hurt.

"hi," hongjoong mumbled, blinking up at him with a smile that was too sad to be real. "sorry. i know it's late. or early. i don't know. time is weird."

seonghwa stared at him, speechless. his heart clenched.

"joong... what are you doing here?"

hongjoong sniffled, then laughed. "god, that's a loaded question."

he leaned against the doorframe for support, trying to appear casual, but it only made him look smaller. more breakable.

"are you drunk?" seonghwa asked softly, though he already knew the answer.

hongjoong nodded, then shrugged. "a little. or a lot."

"you shouldn't be out alone like this." seonghwa shook his head.

"i wasn't," hongjoong said. "i was at the club. with wooyoung and yeosang. but then i saw you and i left. now i'm here."

seonghwa stepped aside without another word.

hongjoong stumbled in, slowly, like his body was not entirely convinced it was welcome. the warmth of the apartment hit him like a sigh, and he shivered despite it. the door clicked shut behind them.

seonghwa stayed quiet, watching him from a few steps away.

hongjoong stood in the middle of the room, unsteady, hands shoved in his pockets like they might keep him from falling apart. his eyes did not quite meet seonghwa's. instead, he looked at the floor. the coffee table. the blanket on the couch.

"this is weird, right?" hongjoong whispered.

"maybe a little," seonghwa replied awkwardly.

hongjoong nodded to himself, then looked up, finally meeting seonghwa's eyes. his voice cracked when he spoke again.

"i'm sorry." hongjoong whispered.

seonghwa inhaled, slow and quiet. "for what?"

hongjoong laughed again, but it was broken this time. "where do i even start?"

he took a shaky step forward, then another, until he was standing just a few feet away. close enough that seonghwa could smell the sharp trace of liquor on his breath, mixed with something softer. something that still smelled like home.

"i left," hongjoong said, voice low, heavy. "i left without saying anything, not really. and i told myself it was the right thing. i told myself i was saving you from something worse."

"you didn't even give me a chance to understand," seonghwa said, barely above a whisper.

"i know." hongjoong's shoulders sank. "i know. and i'm sorry for that, too. i just... i thought if i explained it, you'd try to stop me. and i wouldn't have been able to say no."

"you didn't even trust me with the goodbye." seonghwa replied.

hongjoong looked down, swallowing hard. "i didn't trust myself."

silence stretched between them for a moment, filled with everything they were not saying. the apartment felt too small for the weight of it all.

"i kept thinking about it," hongjoong continued. "every day. wondering if you were okay. wondering if you hated me."

"i didn't hate you," seonghwa said, pain blooming quietly in his chest. "i just didn't know how to stop missing you."

hongjoong's eyes flickered back to him. "i missed you too. i still do. it's stupid, right? i'm the one who walked away."

seonghwa shook his head slowly. "no. it's not stupid."

hongjoong rubbed at his face with one hand, like he was trying to wipe away whatever expression he wore. "i thought it would be easier if i ended it before it could really hurt. before i could mess it all up. but it hurt anyway. and now i don't even know what i'm doing. i just knew i had to see you tonight."

"you're drunk, joong." seonghwa replied.

"yeah," he whispered. "i am."

he looked exhausted. not just physically, but somewhere deeper. like the kind of tired that sleep could not fix.

seonghwa took a step forward. "you need to rest."

hongjoong blinked. "i didn't come here to sleep."

"i know." seonghwa's voice was gentle. "but you should, anyway."

hongjoong hesitated, then nodded slowly. "can i—" he stopped, biting his lip. "can i stay? just for tonight."

seonghwa looked at him for a long moment. then he nodded. "yeah. come on."

he led hongjoong to the bedroom quietly. neither of them said much, the air between them full of everything unspoken. seonghwa pulled back the covers and helped him sit down on the edge of the bed. hongjoong looked around like he had not expected this part; the part that maybe he thought he had be turned away or left on the doorstep. his hands trembled as he kicked off his shoes.

"thank you," he said softly, looking up at seonghwa with red-rimmed eyes.

"just sleep, joong." seonghwa said as he tucked hongjoong in bed, his face dangerously close to hongjoong's.

"do you hate me?" the words came out suddenly, small and broken.

seonghwa's heart cracked again, just like it had a hundred times already. "no. i could never hate you."

hongjoong nodded once, as if that answer was enough to keep him breathing.

then, hongjoong did something he would regret.

he leaned in.

the kiss was quick, but sudden. his lips barely brushed seonghwa's; clumsy and trembling, tasting faintly of leftover whiskey and apologies he hadn't said out loud.

seonghwa froze. it took a second for his brain to catch up, and then he pulled back, blinking like he had just stepped out into the cold.

hongjoong did not say anything, too drunk to process what he just did. he let out a breath and laid down slowly, curling on his side with his back to the wall. his eyes fluttered closed before his head fully touched the pillow. his breathing evened out in a few minutes; soft, uneven, like he was still trying to steady himself in sleep.

seonghwa stood there for a while, watching him.

part of him still could not believe hongjoong was really there. that his voice had filled the silence again. that he had kissed him.

he knew hongjoong was drunk, maybe too drunk to realize what he did, and seonghwa was worried for the morning after.

with a quiet sigh, seonghwa turned off the light and stepped out of the room, pulling the door mostly closed behind him.

he returned to the couch, pulled the same blanket over himself, and laid there in the dark, staring at the ceiling.

he could still feel it; the ghost of that kiss, lingering like a question on his lips. it had not been long. it had not even been right.

but it was enough to keep him awake.

hongjoong was in his bed.

and for the first time in a long time, the apartment did not feel quite so empty.

but his chest did.

and that kiss, fleeting and unfinished, kept echoing in the silence like a song he almost remembered.

hongjoong please make up your mind...

comeback day and omg! the repackage is so good!!

-vic