the bakery smelled like cinnamon and warm vanilla when hongjoong pushed through the door monday morning, the bells on the entrance jingling faintly behind him.

the sun was not even fully up yet. the streets still semi-quiet, soft orange light spilling between buildings. inside, everything felt still. peaceful. but not in a way that made hongjoong feel calm. it was the kind of stillness that made him ache.

wooyoung was already there, sleeves rolled up and hands covered in flour, humming something under his breath as he kneaded dough on the steel counter. yeosang sat at the register, sipping on an iced americano.

hongjoong dropped his bag near the coat rack and pulled his apron over his head without saying much.

he could feel their eyes on him immediately.

"you look like hell," wooyoung said gently, not looking up from the dough.

"morning to you too," hongjoong mumbled, tying the back of his apron and trying to keep his tone even. "i didn't sleep much."

yeosang raised an eyebrow, his voice soft. "you okay?"

hongjoong did not answer right away. he moved toward the sink to wash his hands, staring at the stream of water like it could distract him from the sudden weight in his chest. he had not really talked to anyone since that night.

the tequila, the kiss, the look in seonghwa's eyes when he said it was best they forget everything.

"i went to seonghwa's place," he said finally, drying his hands on a towel. "after the club."

wooyoung's movements paused. yeosang leaned forward on the counter slightly, giving him his full attention.

"i was wondering if you ever actually made it there," wooyoung said.

"yeah," hongjoong said softly. "i... i kissed him."

the words felt strange coming out of his mouth. heavier than he expected.

yeosang's eyes widened just slightly. wooyoung blinked, lips parting like he was not sure what to say first.

"okay," wooyoung said, slowly, "so... how did that go?"

hongjoong laughed under his breath, bitter and quiet. "it was stupid. i shouldn't have done it. i was drunk. i barely even remembered it until i woke up the next morning and he came into the room."

yeosang's voice was cautious. "and?"

"and i told him i was sorry," hongjoong said. "i told him i didn't mean it. and then he asked for answers, and i couldn't give him any."

he leaned back against the counter, arms crossed tightly over his chest like he was trying to keep himself from unraveling again.

"he said we should move on. that it's better this way."

wooyoung's expression shifted, all the usual mischief gone from his eyes, replaced with something softer. "do you really think it's better this way?"

hongjoong hesitated. he looked down at his hands, flexed his fingers like the answer might be hiding in his palms.

"i don't know," he said. "i want to say yes. because i can't give him what he wants. not yet, maybe not ever. it's not fair to keep holding him back." he answered honestly.

"but you still like him," yeosang said quietly.

hongjoong did not respond. he did not have to.

wooyoung wiped his hands on his apron and came around the counter, leaning against the table beside hongjoong. he nudged his shoulder gently.

"listen," he said, "i don't know everything you've been through. but i do know you've never looked at anyone the way you look at seonghwa."

hongjoong's throat tightened.

"and yeah, okay, maybe you're not ready," wooyoung continued. "maybe you're still healing. but that doesn't mean what you feel isn't real. and it definitely doesn't mean you have to go through it alone."

"we've seen the way you've been carrying this," yeosang added softly from behind the counter. "you don't let people in easily, joong. but we're here. even when you think no one is."

"especially then," wooyoung said, nudging him again. "especially when you're being dumb and pushing people away."

hongjoong laughed again, but this time it cracked in the middle. something inside him broke open a little; not painfully, but like a window letting in air after being shut too long.

"i keep thinking about what he said," hongjoong whispered. "how he just... accepted it. like he knew i wasn't going to give him what he needed."

he paused, voice quieter.

"and he was right. i didn't."

"that doesn't mean you won't," yeosang said gently. "you're not done becoming the version of yourself who can."

"and maybe he's not done wanting you," wooyoung said. "even if you both think you are."

hongjoong stared down at the tile floor, the morning light starting to spill in through the front windows. everything felt blurry. too sharp and too soft at once. he did not know what to do with all this emotion. it all felt too big for his chest.

"i miss him," he admitted finally. "and i don't know what to do with that."

"you don't have to do anything with it right now," yeosang said. "just let yourself feel it."

wooyoung nodded. "yeah. cry about it. scream about it. write about it."

hongjoong smiled through the ache in his heart. "thank you guys, seriously."

they fell into a quiet moment then, the kind that did not need filling. hongjoong felt something loosen in his chest; he did not feel fixed, not healed, but lighter somehow. like having someone witness the pain made it less lonely.

he did not know what would happen with seonghwa. he did not know if they would talk again, or if the space between them would grow until it was too wide to cross.

but here, in the early morning light of the bakery, with flour on the counters and kindness in his friends' voices, he let himself believe that maybe he was going to be okay.

my engagement party was yesterday! i'm so exhausted now.

-vic