before heading back to his apartment in the bronx, hongjoong stopped by a grocery near the bakery in soho. he only needed a few ingredients to bake his favorite chocolate chip cookies. all day long, he looked forward to chowing down on the warm, gooey treat.

baking had always been more than a job or a skill to him. it brought a sense of peace, a quiet joy that nothing else quite matched. it reminded him of simpler times; of standing on a stool in his childhood kitchen, watching his mother measure flour and sugar with steady hands.

they used to bake together for everything. whether it be holidays, birthdays, or simply a rainy weekend when there was nothing else to do, they were always in the kitchen together. to hongjoong, it was not just about the sweets they made, but the memories they created in the process. laughter echoing off the walls, music playing softly in the background, the warmth of the oven and her presence blending into something he carried with him even now.

he missed when times were simpler, when he was happier. he missed being able to spend time with his mother and regretted how it all ended.

after gathering everything he needed from the store, hongjoong made his way to the nearest subway station, the chill new york air clinging to his jacket. he found a spot near the end of the platform and put his headphones on, his favorite way to escape from the noise around him.

as the train approached, he scrolled through his music until he landed on his usual, luke hemmings. the familiar intro of "saigon" filled his ears. he closed his eyes for a moment as the train pulled in, letting the lyrics wrap around him like an old memory.

"when facing the things we turn away from
we're chasing the way we were in saigon"

the song always struck a nerve in hongjoong. there was something about the way it captured the ache of nostalgia, the longing to return to a moment that no longer existed. hongjoong understood that feeling all too well.

he had spent most of his life chasing after something he could not quite name. he could
never tell if it was an emotion, a memory, or a version of himself he felt had slipped through his fingers. it was like running after a train that had already left the station, always one step too late.

as he sank into a seat and the train zoomed forward, he stared out the window, the blur of tunnels and flickering lights mirroring the pace of his thoughts. he wondered if he would ever stop chasing or if this quiet yearning would always be part of who he was.

when he arrived at his tiny apartment, he threw his keys on the counter and went to his kitchen. he unpacked his ingredients and began preparing.

he put flour, milk and eggs into a bowl, gently stirring the ingredients together. he threw some vanilla extract and baking soda as well, the familiar motions coming natural to the blonde.

hongjoong's mind began to wander about his routine, his job, the rhythm of his everyday. it was not that he hated his job; in fact, he liked parts of it. the people were kind, the atmosphere was warm, and there was something steady about it all that made him feel safe.

but still, it was not what he dreamed of.

he had always imagined himself behind the counter of his own bakery, flour dusted across his apron, the scent of fresh bread and pastries filling the air. instead, he spent his days behind an espresso machine, taking orders and making lattes. he was not ungrateful, but knowing he had the skill and the passion to bake, but was unable to use, stung a bit.

sometimes, he felt like he was slowly letting his dream slip through the cracks. like he was standing still while the life he wanted moved further out of reach. but comfort had a way of rooting him in place. the idea of starting over somewhere new, of stepping into the unknown, was terrifying.

his phone ringing took hongjoong out of deep thought. he slid his finger across the screen, accepting the call before looking at the caller id.

"hel—"

"hongjooooooong!" a drunk wooyoung dragged out on the other side of the line, "where are you?"

"um, my apartment?" hongjoong replied with another question.

"yeosang told me you were coming out tonight! we're at the spot in koreatown!" wooyoung's loud voice echoed over the vibrant music blasting behind him.

"i never promised yeosang anything," hongjoong chuckled out, wooyoung letting out a loud grunt.

"yeo, you lied to me!" wooyoung shouted as yeosang laughed at him, "joong, come out with us!"

"not tonight, i'm already in the bronx," hongjoong said as he continued turning his ingredients.

"ugh, boringggg. okay, i'll just have to tell you about this sexy guy i'm going to fuck tonight on monday. byeeee!" wooyoung screeched out as he hung up the phone, not giving hongjoong enough time to respond.

hongjoong laughed as he placed his phone back on the kitchen counter. he wished he could muster up the courage to go out with wooyoung and yeosang when they asked him, but it was just too hard for him to get out of his comfort zone. his dark thoughts haunted his every move, not allowing him to break free and have fun.

instead of meeting with the boys, hongjoong continued baking his cookies, spending the rest of his evening with netflix and the sugary treat.

i'm sooo happy i don't have work on monday!!! i love my job but it's always nice to have extra time at home :)

anyone have fun weekend plans? i'm celebrating my nephew's birthday!

-vic