His eyes looked for the person in the mass of crowd. He was still panting after having to run a marathon. In the rowdiness of his  mind, he met those honey brown eyes. It gave him a sense of Deja Vu. He looked different out of his lab coat. The other person spotted him as well and Xiao Zhan immediately ran in his direction. 

"I'm sorry for being late." Xiao Zhan said catching his breath.

"It's alright, I wasn't waiting for long." He offered Xiao Zhan a napkin to wipe his sweat. Xiao Zhan was not the person who got late, he just lost the track of time like his mind lost track of his thoughts. 

"Shall we go?" He pointed at the direction of a restaurant famous for its hot pot. The two gentle  man entered in the private booth  of the restaurant. The waiter arrived to take their orders.

"You don't like spicy food?" Xiao Zhan asked when he noticed that the other person only ordered mild food.

"I can't say I do." He felt a little embarrassed admitting it. Even though they were not youngsters anymore, but it was a common misconception that the spicier the food, the manlier you are.

Xiao Zhan on the other hand only ordered Ice tea. 

"You don't have any appetite? " He asked and Xiao Zhan gave an awkward laugh.

"I just.. well.. I. " Xiao Zhan took a deep breath and replied again,

"I don't fell like eating." 

"Like ever?" He asked, clearly. 

"Ever! I'm pretty sure instant noodles flow through my veins." Xiao Zhan tried to joke but there was clear worry in other persons eyes. 

After an awkward silence, Xiao Zhan tried to break the ice. 

"I appreciate it that you agreed to meet with me outside, Hospitals.... trigger some bad memories." 

"I'm really sorry Mr. Zhan!"  He was about to say more when the waiter arrived with their food. 

After the waiter served their food,  The Doctor spoke again. 

"Mr. Zhan, From now on, I will be truly dedicating myself to you so, please allow me to enter your mind and treat me like your friend."

His tone was calm and assuring but the way he proposed it didn't settle well with Xiao Zhan and he said,

"If I treat you like my friend, I wouldn't be able to say anything." 

Sometimes it was easier to tell a stranger than a friend. They carry no bounds, no record of previous image, no fear of being judged.  

"My bad. Treat me however you like, but I would request if you could open your heart." 

Xiao Zhan was still somewhat hesitant to visit a Psychologist or to have any sort of treatment but after he received a call from his step father Lu Jian Min, he had to do something about his condition.  None of his step family members were aware of his CPTSD and he planned to keep it that way until he died. 

"Can I trust you really? " Xiao Zhan had asked this question countless times to countless people but they all betrayed their own words .Honestly, Xiao Zhan didn't even want to trust the person  in front him. 

But if Xiao Zhan had to open the torn chapters of his life, he would prefer to narrate them to someone pitiful like him.

"Mr. Zhan that is your decision to make." 

Having no other option Xiao Zhan could only nod. Deep down he still had his guard up but it was now or never. 

"Let me tell you a story of love."  Xiao Zhan begun to narrate.

"Love?" Of all the things he anticipated, love was definitely not on it. 

It was indeed a story of boy who wanted nothing but love.

.

.

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[Flashback]

"Little Star!" Xiao Zhan brightened up when he saw a familiar face which he never expected to see. When they parted, Xiao Zhan was really worried about him but he had no way of knowing how he was or where he was. 

Wang  Yibo heard the voice he wanted to hear but seeing his face, something inside him churned. He wanted to see that person but at the same time, he didn't.

Xiao Zhan grabbed the boy and hugged him with his dear life.
"I can't believe it's really you! How have you been? How's your family? How's your brother?"

Wang Yibo felt overwhelmed with the bombarded questions, he freed himself from his hug and replied not meeting his eyes,
"Good."

Xiao Zhan grabbed his hand and explored every room of the building as if seeing for the first time. He was doing great in school until a rumor broke about him and crumbled his world once again. Even his trusted friend He Peng left him.

He still remembered that time when He Peng coldly stated that they can no longer be friends.
Just like that, years of friendship was over.

How could you? Shouldn't you believe me more than the rumors? You know Its not true?  I've shared everything with you then how could you?

In the end those are just standard of friendship we had set for ourselves, nobody really cares, you die or not what's their business in it?

"What happened to your face?" Wang Yibo asked pointing at the bandage on his cheek.

"It's nothing serious." It was nothing serious maybe that's why their friendship broke. But Xiao Zhan wasn't going to end it over a misunderstanding. He tried to talk it over but He Peng pushed him away, not only physically but also emotionally out of his life.

Xiao Zhan wasn't going to end years of friendship without a fight but when your whole life is a battle field, how long can you survive?

But at least he wasn't alone then, Wang Yibo was there. He assured himself.But that assurance was cut short when Wang Yibo learnt about the rumors.

"Your Uncle killed your parents?" It was question more to himself than to Xiao Zhan. 

"Little star I-" Suddenly he lost the ability to speak. He feared it would reach his ears. His uncle wasn't guilty of the charge but if He Peng didn't trust him, Why would Wang Yibo?

Song Jiyang a boy himself mapped out their deaths just to gain Property? Xiao Zhan wanted to puke his guts out. The property was already his, why would he kill his own family for mere currency? It was even harder on Song Jiyang when Police told him to let Xiao Zhan go for his own protection. He also lost his sister and they took away her child, his family over baseless rumors. He (SJY) was left with nothing but cold walls of same property they charged him the murderer of.

And people too afraid to be caught in the so called scheme  of his uncle, distanced themselves from him. They anticipated Xiao Zhan to be the next target and any one closer to him would suffer the same consequences.

 Xiao Zhan got a new family in the form of Jiangs, what about his uncle? What about Song Jiyang who had to silently suffer for the crimes he never even committed? 

How could an utterly baseless rumor spread like that? When you're on brink of death more vultures circulate around  you. 

"You know that's a lie!!!" To his surprise Wang Yibo didn't believe the rumors.

"You lost your parents because of me!!!" Wang Yibo shouted with the flood of tears running down his cheeks.

Was it true? Did he really lose his parents because of Wang Yibo? If he wasn't there  or if he at least agreed to go back, maybe they could have been protected from the storm. But was it Wang Yibo who caused the storm?

"No!! It wasn't your fault!" Xiao Zhan shouted back fearing the boy wouldn't hear him otherwise.

"It was! I killed my mother, I killed your parents and it will be a matter of time before I kill my father!"  

Suddenly Xiao Zhan could see the little star, sitting on the shore with longing in his eyes. He could read the fragments of world inside his mind. Right there and then, Xiao Zhan knew if he didn't do something the star would fall into the black sky. 

"Wang Yibo." it was the first time he had called his name in a tender way. He hugged the younger boy and clutched him tight until he calmed down.

Wang Yibo had been blaming himself for things  he had no control over and Xiao Zhan had to see his uncle being blamed for something he didn't do. Why the world was so messed up? A person didn't have the freedom of their thoughts. 

The very thought who could poison a mind.

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Sorry for error and thank you for reading.