WILD & WICKED / © yllwjckts
056 ⸻ The World's A Stage

March 9th, 1978 ✦ Hogwarts

Lux was certain she was dead.

She'd died, she'd been murdered and had drifted off to Heaven or Hell — which one was a toss up, considering the agonizing pain rattling in her skull, at a level impossible to belong to a living mortal.

Forget burning alive. Forget allicin. This was the worst pain she'd ever been in, certainly, grown to another level of agony when her eyes parted, light streaming into her vision.

"Where..." She murmured, not finishing her sentence as she took in her surroundings. Though her vision remained blurred, her glasses missing, she knew she recognized her location.

Not the afterlife she'd assumed, no. It was the 7th year boy's dorms, confirmed to her when the sound of Peter's harsh snoring echoed in her aching mind.

"Fucking hell..."

Craning her neck off of the surface she'd been laid atop, she turned to look on either side of her. She was plopped in the middle of Remus and Sirius, both of whom remained out cold, chests rising and falling with the deep breaths they took. They didn't snore, unlike Peter, but Lux found a longing to wake them up anyways, demand to know what she was doing in their bed.

Nothing hurt, outside of that pounding in her skull. She'd not shagged them, that was evident by the lack of soreness and the way her skirt and underwear remained fully put together, though she hadn't thought she had in the first place.

She looked back down, towards the surface she'd been laying on, only for her cheeks to glow from embarrassment. It had been Remus's chest she'd been using like a pillow, with a wet spot indicating she'd drooled ever so slightly on his jumper.

What had happened last night, to lead to her in their bed? The answer felt both close and far away, something she grasped towards yet could not catch a hold of, slipping through her fingers no matter how far she reached.

She remembered Hogsmeade, Effie's gift...then a tattoo, perhaps. Something about scars, lots of drinks, snow and exhaustion and someone called Frankrick.

Biting down on her lip, Lux pulled up the sleeve of her Hogwarts uniform, and began dabbing at the drool she'd left behind with her cloth covered hand.

Remus's eyes fluttered open.

She pulled away as though he were ablaze, practically leaping onto Sirius.

This, of course, only woke up him as well, the boy letting out an exaggerated groan, followed by a string of swear words Lux could only half comprehend, slurred by his half asleep state.

"Sorry," she whispered.

"You can talk at a normal volume," Remus told her in a normal tone, stretching out his arms until his joints cracked. "I've charmed the bed. You won't wake James or Peter."

"Right..." She breathed, glancing towards Sirius. He had a horrible case of bed head, hair dangling in front of his grey eyes in an enticing enough way that Lux almost wanted to run her hands through it.

Instead, she asked, "What happened?"

"We didn't shag," Sirius promised, as if she didn't already know this.

"I know."

"We didn't," he insisted. "We'd never, not while you were as drunk as you were. That would be...no. We would never violate you and your trust like that."

"I know," she said again.

"Didn't stop you from trying to jump our bones, though," Remus added, though the humor was dry and overall lacking.

"Jump your bones..." Lux repeated, before placing her face in her hands. "Fuck, what did I do?"

The two boys exchanged a look. "You wouldn't go back to your dorm, and honestly, barging into the girls dorms at nearly midnight didn't seem like a good idea. They already want to drink Remus's blood for breaking up with you — sorry, no pun intended."

Lux couldn't help the soft laugh she let out, even as her cheeks grew more and more red by the second.

"So we brought you here, thinking you could have the bed and we'd just sleep on the floor, but you started crying, and the only way to get you to stop was when we offered to cuddle you. So we did, and you fell right back asleep, and we didn't want to move and wake you, so..." Sirius shrugged, as if this wasn't as big of a deal as Lux understood it to be.

Meanwhile, she'd fallen into a state of panic, rubbing at her temples and refusing to meet either boy's eye. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I'm never drinking again. Good Merlin, I'm so sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about," Sirius said with a grin. "It was funny, really. And I don't mind cuddles from my two favorite people."

She shook her head, moving to get out of the bed. Of course, being in the middle, this meant she needed to straddle Sirius to get over him, practically riding his thigh as she struggled to find her way out.

"Careful, there," he said, a hand gripping her waist to steady her. When she was firmly planted on the ground, outside of their bed, he smiled at her. "You hog the blankets, you know?"

She blinked. "What?"

"Well, now that we're not together, I can say that. Doesn't she, Moony?" He nudged at Remus with his elbow, who was messing around with the edge of his pillowcase, pulling at the threads until they came undone.

"Er, a bit, yeah."

Her lips parted, preparing for an apology, but Sirius was speaking more.

"We get awful cold, Luxie. Since you have all the warmth, we have to cuddle up to you to get some of it."

"Oh-kay." She gave him a bemused look. "I think I've overstayed my welcome."

"On the contrary," Sirius denied, though one look at Remus had her knowing it was the truth she'd spoken.

"I'll be seeing you later. Thanks again. You made my birthday really special" she told them, giving the boys one last look before she exited their dorms, her head hurting even more.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───

"Your birthday was yesterday!" Emmeline exclaimed as Lux stumbled into Divination, rubbing her head as the volume of her voice intensified her already pounding migraine. Turns out, experiencing the world of a human diet also included the consequences, which was a nasty hangover.

"How'd you know that?"

"Professor Larkin told me," Emmeline said proudly as Lux took a seat next to her. While Lux considered asking how Larkin would know this, she immediately understood it as a stupid question. She knew everything, it seemed.

Lux had done her tarot this morning, once she'd returned to her own dorms. Ace of Cups had been the card she'd drawn — something new on the horizon. New beginnings, in a way she wasn't sure she was meant to anticipate as much as she was.

Because a new beginning could be good, but it could in the same breath be horrible. The Coven had been a new beginning, after all. Everything started somewhere.

She'd hoped to ask Larkin about it, just as she had the last time she'd gone to Divination, only to have her conversation interrupted by Dumbledore and his wordplay. This time, it was Emmeline who'd snagged her attention, giving her sad enough puppy eyes that Lux could hardly be mad at her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Emmeline pouted. "This is cause for celebration, don't you think?"

Lux bit down on her lip, gaze shifting towards where Larkin wafted around the room, currently bugging Benjy Fenwick about a dream journal they were all forced to keep. By the sounds of it, he'd not done his, and was making up a dream on the spot for the professor.

"I don't know. I've had a lot of birthdays. I don't think it's very special."

"Yes, but this is your eighteenth," Emmeline emphasized, frowning at Lux's apathetic reaction. "It's a big number in the muggle world."

Lux nodded, hoping to come off as oblivious to muggle customs. "Yeah, Lily told me that. But still, it's just another day, isn't it?"

Emmeline's already dim expression soured. "You're no fun."

She gave the girl an apologetic smile.

"We'll do something fun, I insist," Emmeline promised, reaching over to grab hold of Lux's hands. "It can be just us, yeah? I know you're shy. My dormmates are all gone, we could have a sleepover."

Her brow furrowed together. Instead of dismissing the notion of her being shy, she said, "Gone? Where'd they go off to?"

"Well, Pandora's been staying with her friends in Slytherin — suppose she just likes it better there. Then Amelia's been spending the nights with her Hufflepuff boyfriend, don't tell anyone, of course, and Sybil practically lives in the library with NEWTs coming up. So I've had the dorm to myself. It's awful lonely."

Lux hadn't given much though to what she'd learned about Pandora and Emmeline, the conversation she'd heard beneath the cloak. Yet the pain in Emmeline's voice was evident, even as she attempted to mask it with a cheerful cadence.

And as much as she thought being alone would do her well, something about how miserable she could tell the girl was had her nodding. "Alright. I'll come to your dorms tonight, how's that? We can have a sleepover."

She beamed. "Great! I'll meet you outside that One Eyed Witch statue right after dinner and show you where to go. We don't have a password like the rest of the houses, it's just a riddle we've got to answer correctly."

"That sounds good. I'll see you then."

"Oh, I'm so excited!" Emmeline continued. "I've not had a sleepover with someone outside of my house in ages. I mean, I used to hang out with Dorcas Meadows — you know her, of course, but that's about it."

"Why'd you stop hanging out?"

A gentle lift of her shoulders was all she gave, tossing her silky hair over her shoulder. "No reason, really. Nothing bad happened. We just didn't have much in common, is all."

"Right." Lux nodded, prepared to say more. Before she could get a word out, however, Larkin was speaking, drawing all their attention towards her.

Not speaking, Lux understood when her eyes settled on the woman — no, she was wailing, hands held to her cheeks as tears streamed out of her eyes, lips parted with a loud, piercing noise echoing off the walls.

"Professor," Lux instantly jumped to her feet, tugged by a force out of her control. "Professor, are you alright?"

She looked at Lux through her glossy eyes. In a voice clear as day, a contrast from the sobs that had ripped from her throat, she breathed, "They're coming for us."

Lux exchanged a glance with Emmeline, her heart sinking to the floor and making a home in the carpet. It felt easy to do as much with her body, fully collapse, curl into a ball and pretend the world had not existed.

New beginnings.

Coming for us.

Slayer of Kings.

Her headache grew worse by the second, a new pulsing within her skull she couldn't shake.

"I'm taking her to the Hospital Wing," Benjy said, grabbing onto Larkin's hand. "I think she's having a panic attack."

"I can help," Lux offered.

Larkin nodded, pulling herself out of Benjy and stepping towards her, tears still streaming down her aged cheeks. "You're my only hope, Slayer of Kings. Only sin can kill sin."

"Right, of course." She grabbed onto Larkin's hand, feeling the clammy skin against her own. Turning to Emmeline, she said, "I'll be back soon."

"We're still on for tonight?" Emmeline called after her, to which Lux nodded, smiling to herself despite the situation. It felt nice, being wanted so severely as Emmeline seemed to want their friendship. After the consistent rejections from Remus, who only seemed to be apologizing to absolve his own conscious, and the hot and cold game Sirius currently played as though a winner were needed, Emmeline's consistency was pleasant.

Benjy came with Lux and Larkin, taking the professor's other side, and helping guide the woman down the ladder. It didn't seem much like she knew where she was headed, nor did it appear that she cared much, rambling on and on about nonsense Lux knew was important, but unsure how.

"Only you can save me," she told Lux again, hand gripping onto the vampire's sleeve. "Only you!"

"Only me," Lux repeated in an attempt to still the woman's anxiety, bursting from the seams as they walked through the halls.

"They're coming! Those who drink life! They're coming and I will die!"

Lux and Benjy's gazes met.

"What do you suppose she means?" He whispered, nearing the Hospital Wing.

She shrugged, not because she didn't know, but because she'd decided she didn't want to. That if Larkin's words were to be believed, what was coming was the very thing she'd spent over twenty years running from. The drinkers of life.

Lux didn't know Larkin well, not at all, but she knew for certain she'd not let her fall victim to the Coven, not if she could help it. They'd taken enough as it was, claimed what they had no right to.

Only sin can kill sin.

It was a relief once they approached Pomfrey, the healer accepting Larkin into her room and subsequently scolding the two students for hovering by, waiting for an answer.

"She was having a vision, I think," Benjy said as they stalked back to the Divination classroom, prepared to tell the rest of the students to get going. The rest of the class could be spent as a study period, Lux supposed, though Larkin's absence didn't give her the reprieve she'd assumed it would.

She swallowed heavily. "A vision? I thought you said it was a panic attack?"

"Well, it was clearly a panic attack too. But I think it happened because of a vision. I think...I think she thinks she's going to die."

"She's Professor Larkin, though," Lux said, as if that meant something. When Benjy frowned, she added, "I just can't envision someone like her dying. She feels so...eternal."

He nodded in agreement. "If she can see her death, maybe she can prevent it."

"Maybe."

"Or you can. She kept saying you were the only one who could save her."

Lux shook her head, even as anxiety nipped away at her flesh, slow, small bites. "I don't know what she meant by that. I don't think I'm capable of much."

Not without her magic, at least, the reminder making her feel like slipping into her skin and retreating from the world entirely.

"You never know," Benjy said, giving her a look through his dark brown eyes.

She mustered a smile, even as her nerves continued to have her body trembling. "Suppose so."

After the canceled Divination, in which Lux and Emmeline went over their dream journals together, Lux was making her way towards the Transfiguration classroom, mentally bracing herself for another harsh scolding from McGonagall. The elderly teacher had become enraged with Lux's newfound incompetence, insisting she simply was not trying.

Half of Lux wanted to tell her the truth, hating the sudden disapproval she'd received from who had once been one of her favorite professors. The only thing stopping her was not the reminder of the danger, but because she knew McGonagall was a direct link to Dumbledore's ear.

Even so, it was lonely, keeping something so world crushing to herself. Like someone was squeezing down on her esophagus until she had no choice but to cough up the truth.

"Lux!"

Lux turned around, frowning as James Potter rushed down the hall to catch up to her. A few lingering students parted in his path, as though James were something unworthy of their mortal touch, and Lux couldn't help but laugh.

"I heard what happened in Divination," he said as he caught up to her, a small twitch of his neck tossing his hair out of his eyes. "Everything alright?"

She nodded, though the nausea in her gut suggested otherwise. "Larkin's off her rocker, that's all."

"We all warned you," he reminded her.

Another nod, followed by a miserable giggle. "Yeah, suppose you did."

"Anyways, these came for you in the mail during breakfast." He reached his hands out of the pocket of his robes, two letters in hand.

Lowering his voice, he began as he handed them to her, "Did you like the gift from my parents? The potion, I mean."

Lux blinked, nearly dropping the letters. "You knew about it?"

He nodded. "They asked me if I thought you'd like it. Sounds like you did."

"I love it. I was going to come to breakfast today and try it again but I felt too nauseous."

"Got too drunk, from what Sirius told me," he said with a wink. "Don't worry, Wormtail doesn't know you spent the night in the dorm."

She nearly groaned, running her free hand through her hair. "How do you know I did?"

"You were awful loud when you were crying," he explained matter-of-factly, grinning ear to ear. "You kept insulting them, too. You called Remus a dingbat and Sirius cow dung."

She wasn't sure her face was capable of growing more red. "I suppose they had that coming."

He laughed, though it was short lived. "I did have a question for you as well. If you're not in too much of a rush for Minnie."

"You call McGonagall Minnie? How has she not beheaded you?"

"She loves us."

Lux rolled her eyes. "I'm in no rush, don't worry. What's the matter?"

"I don't know if you know this, but I have this special cloak."

Her heart dropped.

"A special cloak?" She frowned, her voice cracking halfway through her sentence. "What do you mean?"

He scratched the back of his neck, clearly debating what to tell her. And despite it all, despite the fact that Lux very well knew she didn't deserve his trust, it hurt that he was not giving it to her. "Er, if you don't know about it, I doubt you'd know where it went."

Her lip quivered. "Well, if I see a fancy cloak about, I'll let you know."

"Thanks, mate." He grinned, clapping a hand on her shoulder. "Shall we get to class, then? You're not meant to be walking the corridors alone. Can't have you getting attacked again."

"They've not tried anything," she protested, though he was right. Without her magic, she was a sitting duck to Mulciber.

"Mulciber and his mates left a dead bird in your locker," James emphasized. "If that's not trying anything, I don't know what is."

"What did Hooch say, when you told her about it?"

He sighed. "She said that she'd look into it, but there's not much anyone can do. There's no proof it was them. Same goes for the time your broom was jinxed. No body, no crime and all that."

"There literally was a body, though," Lux grimaced as she took her seat, the haunting image of that bird imprinted in the forefront of her mind.

The room was already half full, and James bid a quick goodbye before rushing to sit next to Sirius. He was halfway through folding what appeared to be an essay into a paper airplane, and when James greeted him, he proceeded to toss the thing into his glasses.

It was only then that Lux remembered the letters James had given her, and moved to open them before Lily arrived in the class.

Nothing from Fulk, she realized as she eyed the handwriting on the envelopes, both reading her name. Unsurprising, of course, but her disappointment was impossible to shove aside in spite of this.

The first one was from Elias, causing a grin to spread across her lips.

Lux,

I saw in the student records that yesterday was your birthday. I'm sorry I missed it! Can I make it up to you with tea tomorrow during dinner? I've got some big news I'd like to share with you as well.

Lots of love,

Elias

She folded the letter in half, then in half again, tucking it into her pocket, before reaching for the second one.

A frown spread across her face. There was no letter at all in the second envelope — simply a muggle polaroid, taken in the veil of night, so dark and blurred it was almost impossible to see what it was.

But as she squinted, Lux nearly dropped the polaroid. It was her, Remus and Sirius, the night prior. She was slumped over Remus's back from where he'd carried her out of the parlor, face tucked against his shoulder, sound asleep. On their left, Sirius wore a cheeky grin, lips parted as he spoke something to Remus, who was midway through an eye roll.

Hands shaking, she turned the polaroid over. Scribbled on the back in a silver pen was a shaky,

Stay vigilant, Slayer of Kings. They're closer than you think.

- E

Lux jumped to her feet just as McGonagall walked into the classroom.

"Miss Erzsebet, where do you think you're going?" She demanded, voice high as Lux rushed to the exit.

"Have to pee!" She all but shouted, slipping out through the door before the professor could say another word.

Snape was easy enough to find. She knew it was his free period, and she also knew he hated studying where anyone else could find him. It was easier for him to hide away, lurk in the shadows rather than deal with humanity like a regular human being.

Lux supposed she should've known by now that Snape had no intentions of being regular.

"Erzsebet. To what do I owe the pleasure?" He greeted dully as she pushed the door open to the abandoned dungeon classroom they always met in. He'd been seated at one of the desks, messing about with a cauldron, dipping various ingredients into the broth, which was currently a muted blue shade.

Her nose scrunched up at the lemony scent. "What are you making?"

"None of your business," he said as he rose to his feet, stepping around the potion. Gaze scaling her, he waited for a moment before asking, "What's going on?"

For the first time since making her journey down to the dungeons, did it occur to her that perhaps she shouldn't tell Snape about this. That if trailed long enough, it could lead to questions she could not, would not answer.

It was too late, she supposed as she handed him the photograph.

"Who's E?" He asked after scanning the back.

"How would I know? I've come to ask you."

"The E could be for Evan Rosier, maybe. Not sure why he'd do this, though" he mused, turning the polaroid around again and examining the front. Nose scrunched up in disgust, he asked, "When was this taken?"

"Last night."

A soft chuckle that went unelaborated on. When he did speak, he wasn't looking at her, but instead, the photograph, an odd expression on his face. Anger, almost, in a way Lux couldn't pinpoint,

"I don't know."

She expected further elaboration, but it did not come, a silence floating between the two.

This, she could understand the meaning behind, even if she couldn't pinpoint the origin. "You're lying."

"What makes you think that?"

"Because you never give up. If you didn't know, you'd try to find out. What's changed?"

He took a deep breath, handing her the polaroid before tucking his hand back into his oversized pockets. With a step backwards, he said, "I don't think I can help you anymore."

She recoiled as though he'd slapped her.

Her heart, something that had never truly been fully intact, shattered further, another crack she'd never begin to know how to heal. She knew better by now than to trust Snape, but he'd always been someone she envisioned as stagnantly on her side.

But Snape played to win, in a time where it seemed as though she could no longer be relied upon.

It was whiplash, plain and simple, tears budding in her eyes as she fumbled over her words for a near minute.

"Why not?" She eventually settled on.

"I've got nothing to gain from this alliance anymore," Snape said with a shrug, turning back to his potion.

She reached over, grabbing hold of his wrist and tugging him back towards her. "You mean because you can't read my mind. You're just mad because you don't have power over me anymore!"

He was silent, jaw shifting in a silent admission.

"And you're mad because you thought you'd win me over when I lost Remus. You're mad because I haven't become solely team Snape now that I know the truth about him."

"Why shouldn't I be mad?" He shot back, suddenly red faced with anger he'd shoved deep into him, until the pressure grew to be much. Now, there was nothing left to do but implode. "They lied to you! They put you in danger, while all I've ever tried to do is improve your strength! All I've ever done is help you, and what have I gotten in return but the cold shoulder?"

"What do you want from me, then? Whatever it is you want, spit it out so we can work this out!" She demanded, stepping towards him, the space between them shortening to mere inches.

He was silent.

Anger wouldn't work, she understood at the way he stared straight at her, expression bordering on bored. Snape was too used to it, both from her and other opposing forces. He wasn't scared of her anger, not when he knew it came from a shallow place, in which nothing would be done about it.

In his mind, Lux was all talk, no game.

There was a different angle she had to use. What she used against Slughorn would not work for Snape, but she had enough tricks from the Coven up her sleeve, and for once, she had the upper hand in the form of a mind belonging solely to herself.

Nor would it be a lie. Simply stripping herself bare, removing her armor.

Nothing she'd not done before.

"I need you," she whispered, allowing the anger to dissipate. "I'm scared."

His lip quirked.

"You don't understand, Severus. It's not just the person on Christmas, giving out my location. It's not just Mulciber terrorizing me — Regulus Black warned me that he's up to something, that more's going to happen. Professor Larkin, she's been alluding to the Coven, for weeks. Now this note, someone watching me. I want to stay safe, and I can't do that on my own."

"If you want to stay safe, you'd stay away from the wolf. Not letting him carry you around Hogsmeade in the middle of the night."

She bit back the urge to battle him, to fight for the honor of a boy who would never be there to witness her words. And though it felt like a sin, implying what Remus had spent so much effort working against the notion of, she choked out, "Wouldn't it be best for me to stay on his good side? If he's dangerous, if he's going to hurt someone, wouldn't it be someone who wronged him?"

Snape swallowed, glancing towards the door, then back at her again. "You're right. Antagonizing Lupin isn't a good idea. But with that said, don't get closer to him than you have to. You've made that mistake once."

She nodded, feigning understanding as she shifted the subject away from him. "If the Coven finds me, they'll kill me. They'll make it hurt, too. All you've seen in my mind, it'll be nothing compared to what they'll do to me."

"I'll keep you safe," Snape promised, and it took everything in her not to release a sigh of relief. "And I'll do my best to figure out who's behind all this. But we can't rely on legilimency on its own. Not after that realization."

"If someone's distorting their thoughts, misleading us, they'd have to be really powerful," Lux thought out loud. "Who could be like that?"

"That's the thing about power. Those who truly wield it are the best at hiding in plain sight."

"Then how do we figure it out?"

When Snape turned around again, headed towards the half brewed potion, Lux didn't protest. Instead, she followed him to the desk, watching as he slowly released a vial of purple liquid into the cauldron, observing as a puff of smoke shot up.

"I'm brewing veritaserum," Snape told her. "I was thinking of giving it to Mulciber. Discreetly, of course. Nothing that could link back to me. His mind is loose, but I don't feel assured what I'm getting from him is the correct truth, or if it's as I suggested."

"What is he thinking?" Lux pressed.

"Nothing you'd want to know."

She swallowed. "Am I in danger?"

"From him? Doubtful." He scoffed, moving to stir the potion. It was almost hypnotic, the slow, methodical way he stirred, as though the liquid had a life of its own that he was coaxing out.

Snape continued, not looking to meet her eye, "Just stay alert. If you'd like, I can teach you a few spells."

She bit down on her lip to prevent a smirk, a sense of victory taking hold of her.

But as quick as it came, it dimmed, as his words fully registered to her. "I know enough magic. I'll be fine."

He lifted an eyebrow. "These aren't your ordinary spells."

"I'll be fine," she repeated, this time with more edge to her tone. He'd catch on to her act if she didn't let on her irritation at least a little. Playing up the part was just as much maintaining her original self as it was molding into what he desired.

"If you insist."

"How long until the potion is done?"

"A few weeks. This amount takes ages to brew, and for good reason. It's enough of a dose to give around to half the school. Just one drop, and all your secrets will come spilling out."

"I won't drink it then." It came out sounding more like a challenge, to which Snape rolled his eyes.

"No one's saying you've got to. I'm not going to force it down your throat."

He could, though, the lingering possibility dancing between them.

Lux opted for a change in subject. "Can people fight veritaserum? Like, lie after drinking it?"

"Depends on the quality of it."

"How strong is yours?"

He gave her a look. "Stronger than the ones you Gryffindors use in your party games, that's for sure."

"I see."

Snape continued on, "It's not admissible in court. Just like pensives. They're flimsy, and unethical, and a select few people can fight them. But it's a better shot than hopping from mind to mind."

"It took you long enough to think of this."

"Believe it or not, Erzsebet, I don't typically go around drugging people in my spare time. It did not occur to me because it's not something I believe should be done unless the circumstances are extreme."

"They are extreme!"

"I agree," he said coolly. "Hence why we're here right now."

"But you were going to back out. You said you didn't want to help me. So why brew the potion?"

"I didn't want to help you," he agreed. "I have more use for veritaserum than your own problems, though I suppose you're narcissistic enough to believe my world revolves entirely around cleaning up your messes."

Lux scoffed, but hadn't the energy to argue with him. "If you insist."

"We'll figure this out," he told her as she headed back towards the door, fingers digging into the photograph in her pocket.

She gave him a smile. "I know."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───

The rest of Lux's classes went by in a blur, in which she paid little attention to the lessons, nor the following scoldings in which she could not perform the magic they desired from her. The sting grew less and less prominent as her incompetence became common knowledge amongst her professors, all of which seemed to believe Lux had simply given up on trying.

"Is this some sort of prank you're pulling?" Sirius asked as they stalked out of the Charms classroom, her attempt to rush past him failing as he grabbed hold of her upper arm.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb. You've been acting like an idiot — and I know you're not. You've always been good at magic."

"Maybe I'm trying to get expelled," she shot back with a shrug, tugging herself out of his grip. Her head still pounded from the remnants of the hangover, and embarrassment remained her primary emotion in regards to the start of the day.

"Why would you want that?"

Sticking her tongue out — the only thing she could think of to do to avoid actually answering the question, Lux shoved past him whilst ignoring the stares of both Sirius and the lingering Remus.

Instead, she rushed down the hall, debating where to go next. Dinner sounded nice in theory, but her potions were still in her dorm, and she wasn't hungry enough to justify the trek across the castle.

She was meant to meet with Emmeline for their sleepover, but she had an hour before her presence at the One Eyed Witch statue was required.

The library, Lux decided on after hearing Dirk Cresswell suggest to Gilderoy Lockhart that they do the same, head up to the library and get some studying done.

Maybe, she thought as she trailed behind the two boys, hoping they didn't notice her inadvertent following, she could do research on unicorn blood, something that hadn't occurred to her until that moment. She'd been too hopeless, too used to simply accepting the hurdles life threw at her, she had never thought to fight against it. To see if there was a way to work for it back.

Lux doubted there was a clear cut answer hidden away in the books, but it didn't hurt to try.

Having an hour to search for the answer wasn't as much time as she'd have liked, once faced with the enormity of the books that lined the shelves. She wasn't quite sure where to begin, scaling the section on magical animals first, eventually finding one solely related to unicorns.

"Unicorns?" A voice rang from above her once she'd sat down at a table, paging through the book.

She glanced upwards, meeting Regulus' cool grey eyes. "I didn't know you were okay to speak to me in public."

"This isn't exactly public." He glanced over his shoulder for good measure. From their location behind one of the shelves, near the very back of the library, they were out of sight from the rest of the students lingering about.

"Right. Suppose not."

"What's with the unicorns?" He asked, palms pressed against the wooden table.

"Looking to get a pet," Lux shrugged, turning the page.

"Looking to drink unicorn blood?" He asked with a raised eyebrow, eyeing the chapter title she'd landed on; The Pros and Cons of Unicorn Blood.

"Of course not," she said, a little fast.

His brow raised even higher. High, she doubted Regulus would've noticed, but sober, he was all observation, picking up on the smallest of details. Not much different from her in a way, the way they needed to focus on the little to work out the big.

"Don't worry. I won't snitch."

His voice was dry enough that she couldn't tell if he was meant to be sarcastic or not. Either way, she aired on the side of caution.

"I'm just interested in unicorns, that's all."

Regulus seemed to believe her. "Mind if I sit?"

She nodded, and he took a seat in the chair across from her. For a moment, he was silent. Then, a shuddering breath was released from him, a ball of nerves unraveling. "Why are you nice to me, Erzsebet?"

Blinking, she slid closer towards him, inching her chair into the table. "Why shouldn't I be nice to you?"

"Surely you know everything. About my parents. About my brother. I'm not worthy of your kindness, and yet, you don't dismiss me. I don't understand it."

"I don't know as much as you think," she admitted, feeling awful as she did.

Regulus leaned back in his chair. "My brother isn't worthy of your kindness either. It's in our genes, you know. Being shit people. We've been bred for it."

"I don't think I believe that."

He let out a scoff. "Yeah? Ask Severus Snape. See what he has to say about this kindness. About who's worthy of what."

"Have you only come here to discuss this? Gone all the way to the library just to go on about how much you hate Sirius?"

Silence, confirming her suspicion.

Lux let out a sigh, folding her book shut. "I don't have time to argue with you, Regulus. I have other shit to deal with."

"You should at least know who you're dealing with," he called to her before she could rise to her feet.

Another sigh, relaxing back into her seat. It would've been easier to leave, she supposed, get up and walk away. But indulging Regulus was so tempting, poking at what Snape and he so often alluded to about the Marauders, but never touched.

She couldn't make it that easy, though. Going against the boys she loved, in spite of everything, could not be something she walked in to. She'd done it enough that day as it was. "I don't think Snape's the kind of person who's opinions I should take into consideration."

"Just because he's an arse doesn't make Sirius any more of a saint."

Swallowing, Lux supposed she had no argument for that. "What did they do, then? What could possibly be so horrible that I shouldn't associate with them?"

"You're free to make your own choices," Regulus countered. "But I'd do so informed. Those four, my brother and Potter especially, they're cruel. No other word for it."

"They've only ever been kind to me."

"Maybe they've grown up a bit, then. Maybe you and Lily Evans mellowed them out." He shrugged. "But they were bullies. Cruel, horrible bullies. To Snape especially. Levitating him about, threatening to take off his trousers in front of the school. A couple years ago, Sirius nearly got Snape killed."

"Killed?" Lux repeated, mouth gone dry. "You're lying. Sirius wouldn't...he's not stupid."

"No," Regulus agreed. "He's not."

Hands twisted together, fingers tying knots in front of her, Lux gave a silent nudge of her chin for him to continue.

"You know about Lupin's...affliction, I assume." His nose twitched as he referred to this, as though disgusted by the thought of it.

Lux thought about hitting him.

Instead, she blinked, hesitating for a moment. "How do you know?"

"My parents. This all got back to them, of course. Dumbledore made them swear not to tell a soul."

"I'm confused, what does Remus have to do with this?"

He waved a dismissive hand. "We'll get to that."

"Right."

"The night of the full moon, Sirius told Snape how to get past the Whomping Willow."

All the blood drained from her face. "Why would he do that?"

Silence was his answer, filling the void for what she herself could easily understand, yet refused to.

"I don't believe you."

He tilted his head to the side, a casual motion that had anger rising in wake of her denial. "Why not?"

His words were apathetic in nature, carelessly thrown, as if this wasn't an accusation that tore down everything Lux had ever believed about Sirius. As if he truly cared so little about the actions of his brother, come to terms with them so long ago that they no longed phased him.

It took a moment for her to gather the strength to speak. "Because you're a liar. Because Sirius cares about Remus, and he'd never betray him like that, and he'd never try to kill someone — he'd never use Remus as a weapon."

Not when he'd suffered the consequences of someone doing the same later. Not when Remus and Lux had both almost lost their lives due to Snape's misconduct. Sirius had been distraught. He'd been a mess.

He'd never have caused the very same thing to spite a childhood enemy. He was impulsive and reckless and could be mean, but he'd never go that far. He'd never hurt Remus in such a way.

"Potter came in and saved the day, of course. No harm done," Regulus continued as though she'd not spoken, her words meaningless to him. " They had to have a meeting about it, with all the parents. That's how I heard about it. That's how I know what Lupin is. Sirius almost got expelled. No doubt if Snape had actually gotten hurt, Lupin would've been brought to the Ministry and put down."

It was as though he were taking the very same story that had happened with her, plucking what she'd been told and pasting them together in a new fashion.

Flashes rushed across her vision, panic and claws and blood and pain.

Had Snape been subjected to the same terror as her? Had he known, and yet put her in the very position?

Worse, had Sirius truly gone against Remus in such a way? Had he broken his heart in the same way Remus had hers — by means of shattered trust.

"Ask him," Regulus urged, sensing her inner turmoil. "Maybe he'll lie to you. Maybe he won't. Hate Snape all you want — I sure as hell can't stand him. But don't sit and pretend he deserved that. You're a good person, Erzsebet. Don't pretend that after all that, Sirius deserves your kindness."

And maybe he had a point, Lux thought, but as she gave herself a few seconds to truly consider, she shook her head, that tightness she'd allowed to twist in her stomach loosening. What had he done that she had not? What right did she have to feel anger, to feel hurt and betrayal, in regards to something that didn't involve her?

She'd maimed, hurt, killed, and not faced anything but sympathy from them. What right did she possess to judge what she herself was guilty of?

Forgiveness had gone a long way. Remus was no longer affected by this. It was his wound to nurse, just as what they'd done to her was hers alone. Sirius's actions from before they'd even met were not hers to lay claim to, to ache in sympathy with a boy who did not even want her.

It was astonishing to Lux, how quickly she'd been able to talk herself down from a boiling panic. Empathy was dangerous, she'd always believed as much. Dismissing people's actions only enabled them to repeat them.

Yet, she was certain that Sirius had paid his penance. There remained little doubt in her that he'd spent every waking moment trying to make up to Remus what his thoughtlessness had done.

It wasn't her business, at the end of the day.

Instead, she found herself wondering how Snape could've gone through such a thing, and still projected the same experience onto her without another thought.

"What else should I know about Sirius?" She asked, not because she held a desire to judge, but because Regulus seemed to be the only bridge to truths about him. His loose lips had stemmed from somewhere uncertain, but she was willing to take advantage of it anyways.

"He's a bully," was the only answer he gave, otherwise opting to remain silent.

"You've made that clear. But I hold no loyalty to Severus Snape. If he wanted to bully him, he can be my guest." She paused, recalling his words that had sparked this conversation. "You came here claiming you too aren't worthy of me, not to shit talk your brother. Why do you believe that?"

He didn't break the quiet trance he'd entered, simply shrugging.

She'd talk to Sirius herself about it, she decided, confirm whether or not she would allow herself to be hurt, or grow in the same way Remus had. For all she knew, Regulus was lying out of his arse, taking his brother down with him on his endless spiral of guilt.

Lux couldn't help but wonder the origin of it.

"Self sabotage doesn't do anyone any good, Regulus. It only gets everyone hurt," Lux said, and this time when she rose to her feet, he made no effort to get her to stay. Grabbing hold of the book, she tucked it under her arm and said, "I'm always here if you need help. Don't try to push me away. And don't lump yourself into categories you don't belong in. You and Sirius are both worth far more than you've been made to believe."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───

"Do you want to play truth or dare?"

Emmeline and Lux had been in the Ravenclaw dorms for about ten minutes now, in which the former had went on and on to the latter about the latest gossip in the Hogwarts Press. Apparently, Gilderoy Lockhart was cheating on some kid called Quirinus, which Lux couldn't help the laugh that followed.

"You're kidding," she had choked out, unable to stop. "That can't be his name. Tell me you're kidding."

They'd done tarot as well, in which it was predicted to Emmeline that she would have an inner turmoil in which morals would be questioned — as vague as always. Now, they were seated on the circular rug that was draped over the stone floor, Emmeline applying nail polish to her toes while Lux shifted about, not quite sure if she was meant to watch, or if it was weird to look at someone's feet for that long.

"Truth or dare sounds fun," Lux agreed, grateful to have reprieve from the gaze she'd been unable to settle on something with. "No veritaserum, right?"

Emmeline looked horrified. "Why the hell would we have veritaserum?"

"That's how the Gryffindors play," Lux explained, causing the Ravenclaw to grimace.

"Of course they do. Fucking crazy, all of you guys. No offense, of course."

Lux laughed.

"No, we can play it normally. Don't worry," she promised, just as she finished up dotting that red polish across her toes. Wiggling them in the air, she asked, "Do they look nice?"

"Er...yeah," Lux said, uncertain what caliber of reaction she wanted. "Yeah, really pretty."

"Thanks!" She beamed, twisting the brush back into the bottle of polish, before shifting so her legs were stretched fully outwards and her arms propped her up. "Okay, truth or dare?"

It was the first time since playing that Lux could pick truth, which she settled on instantly with a smile.

"Hmmm..." Emmeline thought with an exaggerated hum. "If you could shag one of the professors, who would you shag?"

She nearly choked on her tongue, but answered honestly. "Professor Hyde."

"Same," Emmeline agreed. "He's cute."

Lux nodded in agreement, hoping her face wasn't as red as it felt.

"And the rest of the professors are like, old," Emmeline added. "Like, sorry, but you could not pay me a million galleons to look at Slughorn's penis."

The thought had Lux gagging. Then, before she could talk herself out of it, she whispered,"I bet it's small."

"Minuscule, really," Emmeline agreed, wearing a mischievous grin. "Like, you need one of those muggle microscopes to see."

"Is he married?"

She shrugged, tossing her brown hair over her shoulder with the flick of her neck. "Not sure. I'd hope not. No woman deserves to be subjected to that man in bed."

Lux nodded in agreement. "Right, okay, your turn. Truth or dare?"

"Dare," Emmeline said almost instantly, flashing Lux a satisfied grin.

"Fuck, I'm not good at dares," Lux admitted, scratching the back of her neck. "I dare you to...let me copy your History of Magic notes."

Emmeline barked a laugh, reaching towards her bed, where an assortment of papers rested on. Grabbing them and handing the piles to Lux, she said with the roll of her eyes, "You didn't need to dare me, I'd have loaned them to you whenever."

"It's cheating though," Lux said as she sifted through the notes, tucking them into the pocket of the pajamas she'd changed into. A spare set of Emmeline's, who'd offered hers up so Lux didn't have to trudge back to Gryffindor Tower for hers.

She shrugged. "As if Binns gives a shit. He's even lower on my list of shaggable professors."

"I mean, he's dead. Isn't that like, necrophilia? Or is it different since he's a ghost?"

"It's probably necrophilia," she giggled. "Borderline necrophilia."

"Not a line I want to dance on," Lux said with a grim nod.

Once her laughter had subsided, Emmeline stiffened her posture, alinging herself with Lux's position. "Okay, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Who's the worst kisser you've ever had?"

Lux's face began to burn, heart thudding in her chest. Whether they were from nerves or excitement, she couldn't pinpoint, finding herself too giddy to care. "You can't tell anyone."

"I won't!" Emmeline promised.

"Snape."

Her jaw dropped, eyes all but bulging out of their sockets. "You've snogged Severus Snape?"

"He kissed me," Lux explained, regret suddenly pooling in her gut. Had it been a mistake, telling Emmeline this? They were friends, yes, but she wasn't sure if she could trust her just yet. Would she wake up the next day to find this story plastered across the Hogwarts Press?

"And what did you do? Push him off?" Emmeline pressed.

She shook her head, figuring that since half of the truth was out, she might as well be honest about the rest. "I was so caught off guard, I kind of just stood there until he took the hint that I wasn't into it and pulled away."

"Gross." Her nose scrunched up. "I had no idea he was such a pervert. Ugh, Lux, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Lux said, pausing as she considered what to say next. Then, following a deep breath, she continued with, "You're the only person I've ever told that to."

Her brow furrowed together, like she was unsure what to make of Lux's statement. "I am?"

She nodded. "It never felt to me like something I could share. That whoever I told would either get too mad on my behalf or not believe I'd truly not been into it."

"Which category would Lily Evans fall into?"

Emmeline's tone was laced in curiosity, one of the first times the redhead girl had been brought up in conversation between the two. While Lux supposed it was common knowledge that she and Lily were close, it still felt momentarily jarring to have someone attempt to peek into their friendship.

"I don't know," she admitted. "I think she'd believe me. She has before. But this is Snape. They used to be best friends, from my understanding. She'd want to give him the benefit of the doubt just as much as myself, I think."

"She should believe you. If you tell her, I think she will."

Lux mustered a smile. It felt wrong, contemplating Lily's morals, ones that had always remained so stagnantly in the right as Lux floundered about, struggling to find her way.

But it would only complicate things, discussing that kiss. Just as it would with Sirius and Remus, make them worry more than they already did. Besides, it didn't matter anymore, not when Snape showed little indication of wanting it to occur again. He was many things, but at least he desired her consent in the matter, something he was well aware he did not have at this moment in time.

With Lily, she knew it would make more questions than answers. Why was she hanging out with Snape? Was she lying about them being friends after all? Lily would never go as far as to say Lux deserved it, but the vampire already believed such a thing.

"Maybe," she settled on. "Whatever. It doesn't matter. Truth or dare?"

"Dare," Emmeline said, just as the last time.

"You love to torture me," Lux sighed, searching her brain for a good dare. "I dare you to change into your ugliest outfit."

"Oh, Merlin." Emmeline moved to rub her temples.

"Is it that bad?"

She nodded, a horrified yet amused expression on her face. "A gift from my mum for my birthday last year. I swear, she still thinks I'm five."

"Now I need to see it."

She groaned, rising to her feet and heading towards the bathroom. "You'll regret this, Erzsebet!"

Ten minutes later, Emmeline emerged from the bathroom with a pink frilly dress attached to her body, with a neckline reminiscent of the Victorian era, and a skirt with so many layers, the sweat that her legs must've been producing was surely enough to swim in.

Lux couldn't contain her laughter.

"It's so...pink," Emmeline said miserably, staring down at the dress she'd wiggled into. "I love pink, don't get me wrong, but fucking hell. It's a bit much."

"So much," Lux agreed, wiping tears of amusement from her eyes. "Are you going to play the rest of the game in it?"

Emmeline raised a challenging eyebrow. "Do you dare me to?"

"I do."

"Then it stays on." She let out an exaggerated though, though it dissolved into more laughter halfway through. "Right, right, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

Her brows lifted. "You always pick truth. Are you scared of a dare?"

"I'm not scared," Lux insisted. "I just prefer truth, is all. Without the risk of truth serum, it's actually fun to pick."

She narrowed her eyes, playfully zeroing in on her as she took a seat on the floor, crossing her legs in her fluffy dress. "Have you been lying then?"

"Of course not! But it's nice to have the option to decline."

"That makes sense." She smiled. "If you don't want to answer a question, you can just say so. I won't be upset, swear it."

"Same goes to you," Lux promised, extending a hand to find Emmeline's without thinking about what she was doing.

It felt nice, the smooth skin of her palm against hers, alongside the subtle smell of coconut as Emmeline inched closer to her. "I want to know...if you've ever fancied someone you shouldn't."

"Like a professor?" Lux raised an amused eyebrow. "Because if you refer to Professor Hyde, he's cute, is all. No feelings attached."

Emmeline didn't remove her hand from Lux's as she nodded. "Yeah, like a professor. Something like that."

She swallowed, considering. It didn't seem like Emmeline was the type to judge, especially with the added knowledge Lux knew in regards to her fling with Pandora Rosier.

"Lily Evans," Lux admitted, breath just above a whisper.

Emmeline's large eyes grew even wider, appearing almost doe-like. "You fancied Lily?"

She nodded, cheeks burning. "Is that...is that okay?"

Swallowing, Emmeline bit down on her tongue. "Yeah, yeah, of course. I just..."

"Just?"

Her next words came out so fast, almost spat out, to where Lux could hardly comprehend them. "If I were to kiss you right now, would you want it? Or would it be like Snape? Like, unwanted and gross?"

She thought her dead heart might've stopped beating entirely, as her head begun to spin and her ears ring. Earnestly awaiting her answer, Emmeline's bright eyes had a new shimmer to them, cheeks flushed with humiliation when the only thing that followed was silence.

It wasn't that Lux didn't want to kiss her. Emmeline was pretty, and kind, and into her in a way that had the vampire's thoughts racing with wonders of what and why and how.

But the why was easy, she understood as the seconds passed. Because Emmeline only knew a version of Lux she'd projected, not the real thing. She didn't know of blood stained lips, of ripped out throats and three hundred years in which the sun was her biggest adversary and her only solace. She'd never known the Lux who'd shoved Lily Evans away like a sport, she'd never been witness to her innate need for destruction.

The Lux that Emmeline knew wasn't Lux at all. Just a mildly attractive girl with an enjoyment of Quidditch and a soft spot for the Divination professor Emmeline so clearly adored.

It was all an act.

But maybe Emmeline had an act too. There was no shame in it, not when promises had yet to be exchanged, when all they held between them was a friendship and a mutual, shallow attraction.

And what harm was there in pretending?

"Hypothetically," she sputtered out when Lux was quiet for too long. "All hypothetical, of course. I was just wondering."

"You'd have to be a really bad kisser to be like Snape," Lux breathed, a soft laugh escaping her. Then, she leaned in, pressing her lips against Emmeline Vance's without a second to spare.

Soft, was the first word to come to mind as their lips touched. She was soft, and her lips tasted like something sugary that Lux couldn't quite pinpoint.

Against her, she felt Emmeline's lips curve up as she leaned into the kiss, hand moving to scale the back of Lux's head. It was by no means passionate, nothing like her first kiss with Remus and Sirius, that night at the Potter home. Instead, it was as gentle as Emmeline was, her person reflected in the way she treated Lux like fine china, careful and precise with her movements.

It didn't feel like a betrayal, as the two boys entered her mind. Sirius had told her to find someone else, to do as she pleased, and she'd taken his advice in stride.

Emmeline wasn't someone she would come to love, but she doubted Emmeline viewed her as any different. Instead, something casual could be just what Lux needed.

Where Emmeline had been, there was suddenly air, as the girl pulled away. A hand held to her lips, tracing the line of them, Emmeline's expression was one of downright horror.

"You can't tell anyone," she blurted.

Lux shook her head. "Who would I tell?"

"Anyone!" She repeated, jumping onto her feet, only to trip over that massive pink dress of hers.

"Are you alright?" Stretching out her hand to help Emmeline up from the heap she'd collapsed into, Lux was met with tears as the girl refused to look her in the eye. "Hey, hey, Emmeline, I won't tell anyone. I promise. This stays between us."

She shook her head, sniffing loudly. "You should go."

"But the sleepover..." Until faced with the prospect of leaving, she hadn't realized just how deeply she'd been enjoying herself.

Though as much fun as she'd been having, the need to leave was emphasized when Emmeline finally looked up. "Go, Lux. We can...we can talk tomorrow."

"Okay," she breathed. This was a boundary obviously not meant for her to cross, and she supposed she had plenty to do. This had no immediate need to be dealt with.

"Okay, I'll see you in class."

Instead of returning back to her dorms, Lux returned back to the library, despite it being far past curfew. Having no means of light, Lux was forced to rely on her vampire senses, which aided in her ability to see through a shade of darkness that most humans could not.

Even so, she found it difficult to maintain her thoughts on her magic, while what had just gone down with Emmeline had snagged her attention. She'd known Emmeline was a lesbian, that was clear from the conversation with Pandora she been an accidental witness to.

But attracted to her? That had taken her by surprise.

She felt in the same way she knew Lily must have at one point — completely at a loss for what to do. She had no claim to Emmeline, no right to push her into communication when they'd barely passed the lines of friendship before this happened. And yet, leaving what had happened alone felt dishonest too, like setting aside something she'd found important.

There was nothing she could do about it in that moment, Lux told herself. Best to focus on something of use.

The book she'd been reading when Regulus interrupted her remained on the table they'd both been at, though the page had been turned, now on a completely different section. By him, maybe, or simply a breeze entering the expansive library.

Unicorn Blood & The Occult was the title of the chapter, Lux's finger scaling it with a thumping in her heart.

Were vampires part of the occult, she wondered as she scaled the pages. Nothing came up — goblins and half breeds and giants were all referenced, even squibs were talked about, but nothing on the creatures who actually drank blood.

Nothing about how to reverse the action.

It wasn't fair, in a way that had tears budding in her eyes after two hours of vigoriously flipping through the book, only to come up empty handed. She'd not been the one to drink it with intention — Snape had poured it down her throat! Why was she suffering consequences for a favor she'd never asked for?

"Excuse me. You're not supposed to be out of bed."

Lux fell out of her chair.

"Shit, shit, sorry! Are you okay?" A familiar voice rushed up to her, and she smiled despite the ache in her head after it slammed against the floor.

"Fine," she told Elias, voice lowered to a whisper.

"Sorry," he told her again, reaching down to help her up. A gleam of moonlight hit his eye just as a mischievous grin slid across his lips. "I won't give you detention, promise."

"Isn't that special treatment?"

"A bit," he admitted, though Elias didn't seem ashamed by this. "What are you doing out this late?" His eyes shifted towards the book, answering his own question himself. "Reading?"

"Er, yeah. Couldn't sleep, so I thought a change of scenery would be nice to get some studying done."

"You shouldn't be lurking around at night, Lux. If a different professor caught you, you'd get into trouble." Elias moved to take a seat in the very chair Regulus had been in just hours ago. Lux remained standing, unsure if she was meant to sit as well. "Good thing I've found you now though, I think. I'm really sorry, but I have to cancel our tea tomorrow. Or is it today? Is it midnight yet?"

Lux laughed. "I think so, yeah."

"Oh. Okay. Well, we could reschedule for next week, if you'd like. If that's alright with you, of course."

Nodding, she took a seat as well, sliding the open book towards her. "Not a problem at all. Is everything alright?"

"Everything's grand!" He said with a chipper grin. "My Jane, I don't know if I told you, she's pregnant. We've got a check up appointment for it is all. I want to go with of course, moral support and all. I'd totally forgotten about it until after I sent you the letter."

"Jane's pregnant?" Lux gasped, and when he nodded in confirmation, she mirrored his bright smile. "Congratulation! Your third kid, right?"

"And final, I hope. They're so much bloody work, and I'm not even there anymore. Poor Jane must have her hands completely full." He sighed, a sudden look of woe in his hazel eyes. "But it's still exciting, of course. If it's a boy, we're going to call them Christopher. And a girl, Caroline. We like the C names — we think they both go well with David and Nancy."

"They do," Lux agreed, before adding, "I'm so excited for you."

His lips twitched. "That means a lot from you. You can meet them someday, maybe. Be auntie Lux!"

"Auntie Lux," she repeated, unable to contain the giddiness that emerged from her at the concept.

Logic had to be a fiend, of course, worming its way into her skull moments later and causing her to frown."Jane won't have a problem with it? Considering our...history."

"She's not the jealous type. Besides, it's been twenty years. It's not like we were snogging last week or something."

"You make a valid point."

It was nice, she realized, to be able to talk about their past relationship with such ease. It was hard enough simply looking Remus and Sirius in the eyes somedays, knowing they'd both seen her stark naked.

Elias didn't carry that same baggage. Maybe due to the time, like he had suggested. Or perhaps it was simply a part of his nature, grudges something impossible for him to hold onto.

"That's what you wanted to speak to me about, then?"

He nodded, demeanor shifting. "Well, yeah. Partially. Er, something else has come up, I should probably let you know."

Lux lifted her chin, urging for him to continue. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course. Well...I just wanted to ask if you'd heard from Fulk Ingelger lately."

A sharp inhale from her had his nose twitching, a clear sign of sudden anxiety. "No, no, I haven't heard anything from him. Why do you ask?"

"I just..." Elias moved to scratch the back of his neck, testing out his words. "With Jane due in early May, I'm taking leave for a bit as well. Dumbledore assured me that Mr. Ingelger would be back by then, but I wanted to make sure. Just to not leave the school empty handed."

"Oh." Lux gulped. "No, I haven't heard from him."

"Right."

She allowed herself two seconds to think, then with an impulse she'd usually managed to restrain, pressed forth, "My letters to him aren't going through. Dumbledore's been intercepting them."

Lux understood she'd made a mistake the moment Elias's brow furrowed together in confusion. "Dumbledore? No, he wouldn't do that. Maybe the owls are just getting lost."

She swallowed.

Of course Elias would be loyal to Dumbledore, Lux thought with a sigh, heart sinking. It was no fault of his, of course, she understood how that man could so easily manipulate people with his words. She'd once played the same game as him, using words as weapons, poking and prodding people into doing their will.

But she couldn't pretend it didn't hurt. She wanted Elias's blind loyalty to be to her, in a sick, selfish sort of way. Not to a man more powerful than her, to a man who Elias hadn't half the history with as she and him did.

Sensing her sudden change in mood, Elias leaned against the table, reaching for her hand. "Hey, is everything okay?"

It would've been so easy, telling him.

Too easy.

What if she was playing directly into the Coven's hand?

It was within the speed of a snap of fingers in which Lux found her head beginning to spin.

"I have a question too."

"Yeah?"

"I got this...letter. A picture. A muggle polaroid, actually. From someone called E. Was that you? Since you're muggleborn, you'd know how to get a polaroid."

He shook his head. "No. No, I haven't sent you any pictures."

Her stomach lurched, his denial not refuting any of the thoughts in her mind.

Twenty one years had gone by in which Elias was presumed to be dead, only for him to show up in her life a mere week after Mathilde nearly got her and her friends killed?

What were the chances of his return at that exact time? What were the chances that he held no resentment towards her nearly getting his throat ripped out? Unless there was a greater plan at play. Unless it had been a grand scheme, a conspiracy.

What reason did Elias have to be kind to her, to be loyal, after this many years? If he wasn't directly working for the Coven, perhaps he was a pipeline, under Dumbledore's orders.

Inside her chest, she felt her heart shatter.

The past few months, their reunion. It had all been an act. Nothing more.

He'd only helped her when she'd been scratched to safe face, so she could be brought to the Coven in one piece. It was their job to extract judgement, and his to make sure she was there to face it.

He wanted her dead.

Lux jumped to her feet.

"Lux?" Elias frowned, standing up as well. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," she choked out, grabbing hold of the book. "I just...I need to go. I forgot. Marlene's been having a crisis, I need to...yeah."

"Marlene McKinnon? Is she okay?" His concerned expression was so genuine, Lux nearly second guessed herself entirely.

He was such a good actor. Too good of one.

She remembered what Snape had said, about altering thoughts. About minds not being as clear cut as they'd initially assumed. Was it possible Elias resided in that category, someone so talented it no longer mattered what he thought, the guards so good people did not know he held them in the first place?

"Of course," she told him, pitch rising an octave. "Just girl stuff. But I've got to go."

Lux knew how to lie. She'd survived by means of twisting the truth, spoon feeding falsities to Philip, to Dumbledore, to her friends. And yet, it was entirely different, looking Elias in those hazel eyes and speaking anything other than the truth.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───

so......do we think elias is the informant? also, how do we feel about emmeline? any guesses to who e is? :)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*:☆ﾟ. ───