Banging my head on the desk felt like the best option I could resort to right now, at least better than yawning in the face of the seminar speaker who was determined to shove everything all at once in our head on our very first day as new recruits.

Biting harshly on my lips, I stifled yet another yawn. My eyes fluttered in sleepiness. Come on, we aren't even interns who need guidelines for each step...

I had most definitely looked zoned out for the last minute. Suddenly, I felt everybody's gaze settle on me, and so did the speaker's. My eyes widened as I stiffened in my chair, following the movement of the tip of her marker in the air.

" Dear young lady...." She pointed in my direction and my breath caught sharply. " Yes you....please stand up." I cursed under my breath, knowing I probably fucked up on my very first day of work. I stood up bowing lightly, folding my hands behind my back.

"Wanna drink some water? You look out of it." She seemed unamused. I bow lightly unable to pinpoint the sudden cause of attention.

"Please pay attention to what you're guided through. This is the first and the last time you're free to seek guidance and get rid of your doubts. Any shortcomings in the execution of your skills hereafter shall not be entertained in the sensitive profession you are." She glared sharply, enough to make me gulp and curtly nod.

She motioned me to sit, continuing her counseling. I chugged some water, ignoring the judgmental stares I was getting from others around me. Definitely not a clean first impression.

"I understand many of you come from prestigious institutions, with backgrounds in cutting-edge research. But let me be clear: this is not a research facility. This is a sanctuary." Her remark threw many of us into a spiral of nervous blips.

"Or at least, it should be. These are not lab rats. They are human beings, suffering. Broken." Her voice softened. She paused, letting the weight of her words sink in. "You will encounter a spectrum of conditions: delusions, hallucinations, manic episodes, deep, debilitating depression. You will witness the raw, unfiltered pain of the human mind."

She leaned forward, her gaze intense.

"But remember this above all else: compassion is your greatest tool. Empathy is your armor. These patients have been cast aside by society, judged, and feared. They need you to see beyond the illness, to see the person beneath."

She walked to the whiteboard, sketching a simple diagram. "This is not about curing them. It's about managing their symptoms, finding ways to alleviate their suffering, and helping them find a measure of peace within themselves."

She circled the word "peace" on the whiteboard. I stared at the word contemplating, knowing it was something that's missing from everybody's plate in the fast-paced world we are living in. It's not something we can think of achieving until finally it's the time to say goodbye to worldly affairs. Peace comes only after death.

Ridiculous point. If it's a lack of peace that landed these patients in a mental asylum, then I guess we wouldn't have been living in the comforts of our home, rather every soul on this Earth would've ended up in an asylum. I felt the urge to roll my eyes at the 'duh' thought, but I suppressed it thankfully.

"You will encounter resistance, anger, even violence. But never lose sight of your purpose. Never give up on them. Remember, you are their lifeline to hope, their beacon in the darkness. Be their advocate, their confidant, their guide. Help them navigate the complexities of their illness, and help them find a path to recovery, however long and winding it may be."

She halted her steps mid-stage, her expression grave, an affecting contradiction to her motivational delivery.

"Never forget that you are not just treating a disease; you are caring for a person. A person who deserves your respect, your understanding, and your compassion..."

Soon the seminar ended with the announcement that all the new recruits were expected to gather in the main hall where they'll receive their duty schedules for the month. I heaved a sigh,relief? Nope.

But to mentally propel me that this new beginning too shall end soon. Very much the same way when my internship period ended, and I couldn't celebrate less. A hell of a time I had with those overbearing senior psychiatrists. As an intern, many like me were assigned to be their assistants, the first big step before the real deal began. But woah! Don't get your hopes high.

I accompanied them. Yes. Did I assist them? Yes. Did I worshipped the ground they walked on? Yes. Did I become their table cleaner? Yes. Did I pull all-nighters to finish their work? Yes. Did I run their personal errands? Yes. Did I fall prey to their demeaning comments and malicious gossip? Yes.

Now the biggest question here you may ask...Did I land a good and decent placement?

NO.

For fuck's sake, these hardships were good for nothing. Why? Because it wasn't my dream to end up in a mental asylum among a bunch of howling creatures. I wanted to be away from home, god heard me wrong bcoz it seriously feels like I'm HOME.

I consciously walked down the steps of the seminar hall, my head hung low when I suddenly heard my name being called, causing my head to snap. It was the speaker. Oh, holy guacamole.

I stepped forward and up the stage before I was standing face to face with the dread of my day. My observant eyes traveled to the name badge hanging loosely on her white coat. Dr Eliza Vance. I feel I've heard her name before...strange.

She coughed to break my evident trance as I blinked. "So Miss...YN Lee. It seems you get distracted a lot." She remarked and my breath hitched. "No Dr Vance, I'm really sorry for my earlier indiscipline." I bowed respectfully.

"It's alright. I needed to talk to you anyway. You've been my interest ever since I read your resume and your academic excellence. A top-notch student with a degree from a top-notch college. Interestingly enough, you and I are the alumni of the same institution."

I blinked again, absorbing the info for a good minute before gasping. " Oh I-I...well are you too a pass out from Melbourne Medical School?" I almost squealed. No wonder I'd seen her face before.

She nodded curtly. "Yes. And I know a lot about you...though it doesn't make me any less skeptical about your skills. The reason I called you. You've to prove yourself Dr YN Lee. In my opinion, anybody can top in research papers but a real topper is the one who can execute it on the field. You're yet to face the real deal and I'm sort of interested to know if you've the thing I've been looking for." God forbid but I could see a glint of smug on her wrinkled face.

"Your mother and I have known each other for a decade now and it's because of her insistence to let you start your career under my guidance, that you're standing here today. She's quite worrisome about you. I hope you won't let us down." She gave a tightlipped smile and I could sense how much she wrathed my mother for forcing her to get me here.

I gulped, the sudden revelation catching me off guard. I blinked back the tears pricking my vision. "I'll try my best, Dr. Vance," I whispered, bowing before I turned on my heels and walked out breathing heavily.

Fucking insane. My mother was bizarre. She'd the power where she could meddle even in the tiniest of things as she wished for, whenever I thought I was finally out of her league, she'd prove me wrong. Goddamn it!

I skipped the main hall past the glass doors and went out on a terrace. The cold morning air hit me with a splash of dewy moisture. I breathed in before scoffing loudly. Foolish me thinking I finally landed a job on my own even if it has to be an asylum. How could she? Heck.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to calm myself though the effort seemed meaningless. I was tired. Tired of being treated like a spoiled kid who could use the connections of her successful family to reach any pinnacle of life she aimed for. Tired of being despised for the luck that followed me everywhere, that overshadowed my potential and my hard work.

My phone rang and I sniffled, wiping the tears off my face as I picked up the call. "Eomma...." I struggled to mask the tremble in my voice. I could hear shuffling on the other end before her sleek voice cut in, "YN-ah...how are you doing?"

I bit back a harsh reprimand. "Eomma...we need to talk." Silence.

"Did anyone say something to you?" I clench my eyes shut at her audacious question. "Doesn't matter. When are you coming back?"

"If it is something really important that can't be delayed then I can cancel—"

"No need, Eomma. I'll manage...just let me know you are back from the States. I need to go. Bye." I hung up the call, not letting her dig further. I scurried back inside, the crowd of new recruits had somewhat thinned in the main hall.

I looked around, spotting a large bulletin board outside the cabin of the HOD Neuropsychologist. I briskly walked towards it, my eyes anticipating any sort of comfort at this point. Oh fuck.

Dr Lee YN - Report to DR ELIZA VANCE, HOD Psychiatry.

Cover and banner edits: Jaygrfx7