Dear Cat,

If given a chance, what would you like to tell your 17-year-old self?

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Dear 17-year-old me,

We're still alive! Alive and finally feeling genuinely happy with someone. And hey, as funny as it goes, your college mates were right! Turns out, you can also be into girls hahaha! So, fudge that first love of ours who only knows how to use us as his emotional support, we now have someone who finally values us.

Don't get too snappy with Daddy whenever he wants to do what he wants. We now understand that he was just depressed, feeling helpless because of what he's been going through. A proud man, who can't even lift nor move the half of his body. Cherish those moments where it was just the two of you, bonding over cartoons and merienda on sunny afternoons. Accept those breads with cheap oily peanut butter that he loves so much, sit with him and laugh with him while watching movies.

And as much as excited you can be for your 18th birthday, don't rush. Stay a child while you can still be a child. 

That's why I told you to cherish those moments with daddy, he'll be dead just 2 days after your 18th birthday. "She" would blame you during his wake, NEVER listen to her! It's not our fault! Daddy was happy, he's struggling yes, but he was happy. He accepted his fate like a champ! Smiling as he looked at us before collapsing to the ground, that image will be engraved on our brain, and believe me, at first it will be painful, but as the years go by, you'll be thankful that we have that memory.

It's okay if you're still not sure how to handle your emotions. We are very emotional beings, an empath. So, stop suppressing your emotions, stop cutting your wrists and shoulders just so you could escape your emotional pain, stop trying to kill yourself because life could also be beautiful.

Live, laugh and learn to explore this world. Learn through your every mistake, you will make lots of them and it's okay. Treasure your family no matter the traumas that they gave you. Forgive yourself. Let go of your past, live in your present as you pave your way to your future.