[ 09. natural ]
J E O N G G U K

yeehaw is the anthem for this book

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Jeongguk has no idea how he ends up in Taehyung's bedroom, kissing the older with such intensity he can feel the blissful rush of adrenaline surging beneath his skin, their shirts unbuttoned and hands grasping at each other eagerly.

Literally only moments ago, the two have been arguing about their beliefs, yet here they are, Jeongguk being plopped on top of Taehyung's dresser and Taehyung's hands clutching the dips of his small, thin hips. The younger swears he can never think properly with Taehyung, his effect on him is weakening, like a good type of poison. Every single thing Taehyung does is like finding his kryptonite after so long, and sometimes he's sure he's going to be bound to regret it all in the end.

When is he going to regret it? He doesn't know, but for now, all he can focus on is the addictive taste of Taehyung on his lips.

He takes fistfuls of his soft, silky locks into his fingers, tugging Taehyung closer to deepen their kiss. It's sloppy, clumsy, the epitome of hungry teenage kisses, but Jeongguk doesn't care. His mind has gone blank, his thoughts unable to process what's going on as his desires power his actions.

Everything feels so wrong yet so right that he's not quite sure what he wants anymore.

"You're so beautiful," Taehyung mumbles against his mouth, pulling back to press feathery kisses down his jaw. Jeongguk giggles, lightly hitting his shoulder with his fist, a blush creeping up his cheeks.

"Don't say that," He whispers, reaching down to cup the sides of his face. Taehyung puckers his lips, blowing air into his cheeks to be funny. Jeongguk lets out another laugh, shaking his head incredulously.

"Why can't I?" Taehyung asks, his lips transitioning into a teasing grin. He slides his hands down Jeongguk's thighs, occasionally giving them a firm squeeze that makes the younger jump.

Jeongguk merely shrugs, "Cause it feels weird."

"Gosh, this still feels weird to you?" The edges of his mouth falter enough for Jeongguk to notice, and he immediately knows he has done something wrong.

"N-no-yes, a litt-wait nuh-no! I...don't know," Jeongguk trails off, nibbling at the bottom of his lip. He feels Taehyung's stare on him, waiting patiently for an answer.

"I just think boys can't feel the same pleasure as a girl and a boy." He admits shyly, his face warming up.

He lets go of Taehyung's jaw, his hands falling to his lap. Expecting the boy to get mad and tell him otherwise, he finds himself a bit surprised to hear deep, velvety laughter rumble in the other's chest instead.

Taehyung chuckles lowly, one of his hands lifting up to engulf Jeongguk's cheek in his huge palm, "Doll, whoever told you that is wrong. Pleasure and love is free for anyone to feel."

Jeongguk tilts his jaw up slightly, giving Taehyung room as the older places ticklish kisses down the vast, empty canvas of his neck. His hands instantly fly up to Taehyung's shoulders, a yelp nearly escaping past his lips when Taehyung playfully nips at the flesh. For a second, he feels a little weirded out, but it's not long until the feeling settles into a puddle of warmth in the bottom of his tummy.

"See, was that bad?" Taehyung takes a small step back, his lips fitting into a crooked grin. Jeongguk shakes his head, unaware of the smile tailoring itself on his own.

Taehyung repeats his actions again, trailing wet, light kisses down his neck and to his collarbone. He's careful not to make anything obvious, knowing well that the women will surely tear Jeongguk to shreds if they find he has hickies. So he leaves them in places where nobody but Jeongguk can see them.

"This isn't wrong, doll," Taehyung murmurs against his skin, his breath hot. He connects their lips gently, the contact only lasting for a moment before he pulls away to give Jeongguk one of his rectangular smiles.

"Everyone else doesn't think so," Jeongguk replies, the corners of his mouth falling into a small frown. Taehyung sighs, slipping his fingers beneath Jeongguk's chin, his thumb caressing the side of his cheek.

"Screw them from New York all the way to your boring Tennessee," Taehyung smirks wistfully, his eyes glowing dully with a particular pain Jeongguk hasn't noticed until now. "Nobody can tell you what to feel," He chuckles quietly, masking the hurt with laughter.

"Well, can I ask why have you spent so much time with me when you can have a girl who's more sure of herself?" Jeongguk finds himself asking, his curious gaze watching Taehyung's crooked grin broaden.

"I like a challenge," He simply shrugs, "but also, I hate people who are so sure of their own importance they take it upon themselves to make everyone look bad."

"Not everyone is like that," Jeongguk counters, one of his eyebrows raising on his innocent features. "Look at Stephanie. She's so selfless and admirable and beautiful. If I were a girl, I wouldn't compare to her."

Taehyung tsks, the skin between his brows creasing, "Don't say that, doll. You're just as beautiful and admirable as Stephanie even if you're a boy."

"But i'm not selfless," Jeongguk leans into Taehyung's touch, feeling himself melt into his palm that now craddles the side of his cheek. Staring at the blonde beneath his thick bed of eyelashes, he leans forward, allowing Taehyung to capture his lips into his own.

It's short and sweet, a peck perhaps. Taehyung pops his lips off of his, resting his forehead on his own. Taehyung's irises are breathtaking, what he has once thought to be pools of tar, his eyes are actually a brilliant mixture of honey browns and flecks of gold. His hair is a pale sand-blonde, his bangs brushing effortlessly over his almond eyes and a curtain of wavy locks dangling over his nape. There's also a mole on the round of his nose, another nestled on the edge of his eyelid, and he can't seem to keep his eyes away from his red swollen lips.

God has crafted him to be so amazing, yet the only flaw he has given him is his interest in boys.

It's a shame really, that Taehyung will never have little copies of himself running around or a wife to take to Sunday church. He won't ever experience parenthood, a life where he can truly be himself without people avoiding him, fearing that they'll catch his 'disease'. Being into boys is a horrible sin, a way of life people look down upon. But here he is, smiling and existing without a single trace of regret in his eyes.

Taehyung has embraced who he is. He doesn't think it's a flaw, a mistake, or a discrepancy in the way he was made. It's a part of him, and it's who he chooses to love. Although Jeongguk's not so sure if that's how he feels quite yet, his early disinterest in girls and lack of femininity typically associated with homosexuals not much of a solid answer.

There's a lot he doesn't know for sure. He's still masculine, and so is Taehyung. He doesn't really care for girls, and he surely doesn't act like one. He doesn't fit the stereotypes his mother has told him to avoid, but what he does fit is his underlying attraction to boys. None of it really makes sense, to be honest.

"Do you hate yourself sometimes?" Jeongguk asks solemnly more as an assurance rather than a question to Taehyung, his hands finding their way to his shoulders. He thumbs at his wrinkled collar, remembering something his mother has told him when he was about to enter highschool.

"Love, remember, if any boy touches you weird or acts weird, stay away, okay? Ruth told me there's an epidemic of those faggots by the city," Her voice rings in his ears, the sternness in her vowels something he has never heard. "Those doctors don't know what they're saying takin' that damn illness out of their books."

"Every single day," Taehyung hums, leaving a kiss on his cheek. Jeongguk lets his eyes fall shut, his stomach swirling with butterflies as Taehyung peppers his face with slow kisses.

"I wake up each morning hating myself when I have these sinful thoughts."

"Then why do you still act on them?" His voice has turned into a mere whisper, the sound of his words lost in the erratic beat of his heart.

"'Cause," Taehyung pulls back, moving his hands back to their spot on the dips of Jeongguk's small waist. He squeezes his sides, thumb brushing beneath his shirt. Their gazes lock onto one another's, not a single word is spoken between them until Taehyung exhales softly.

"There's no use fighting who I am anymore."

Crashing his lips onto Taehyung's, Jeongguk lets loose. He kisses him with a sort of urgency, their lips molding into one another's as the pace quickens. Taehyung swipes his tongue on his bottom lip, to which Jeongguk allows him full access to his mouth. It's an entire new feeling, this newfound hunger and desperation brewing between the two intense. Taehyung devours him whole, and Jeongguk lets him, finally allowing himself to enjoy the moment.

Taehyung's the first to pull away, a wicked smirk fitting itself on his plump lips. Though he notices the hesitation in Jeongguk's blissed out expression; the way the boy's fingers are shaking around their grip on his shirt, the subtle tremble of his bottom lip.

He then, gets an idea.

"Ever heard of a blow job?" Suddenly, Taehyung lowers himself down to a crouch, his face leveled with Jeongguk's lower region. Jeongguk swallows nervously, shutting his legs shut by instinct and also accidentally bumping his knees against Taehyung's nose.

With embarrassment painting his entire complexion a bright hue of scarlet, Jeongguk stammers breathlessly, "W-why is your face s-so low?"

Rubbing his nose somewhat, Taehyung gets up and walks over to his bedroom door without an answer. Jeongguk watches as the boy locks the door before sauntering back to where he's sitting on top of his dresser.

"That must be uncomfortable," Taehyung hums, gesturing for Jeongguk to wrap his arms around his neck.

Complying hesitantly, he then hooks the younger's legs around his waist. Before Jeongguk can ask what's going on, he squeaks when Taehyung effortlessly lifts him off the dresser and maneuvers the two of him to his bed. Unlike Jeongguk, Taehyung has a huge double bed in his room, and he can't seem to hide his confusion as Taehyung sets him down on the side of the bed.

"Okay, answer my question," Taehyung kneels onto the carpeting, positioning himself in front of Jeongguk's legs, but this time his hands are grasping on both of his thighs, "have you heard of a blowjob?"

Shaking his head, Jeongguk allows Taehyung to spread his legs. His adam's apple bobs anxiously in the hollow of his throat, the younger completely foreign to what Taehyung's just said. His teeth capture his bottom lip, gently gnawing on the skin as Taehyung's fingers reach up to his zipper.

"A blowjob is when I put my mouth on your cock and suck it like a lollipop- you probably had a bunch in your childhood so no need to explain that," Taehyung lets out a throaty laugh, his nose scrunching in amusement as Jeongguk's face turns completely red.

"B-but my thing isn't a l-lollipop," Jeongguk stutters, squirming somewhat underneath Taehyung's firm touch. Taehyung grins.

"Doll, I know," He says in between fits of laughter, finding it cute how slow Jeongguk is. "I know you're not ready for the actual thing, so I guess if we do this you can decide whether or not you want to go further."

"H-How do boys have sex?" Jeongguk's voice is a mere whisper, the boy unable to hear himself with the sporadic thumping of his heartbeat in his ears.

"They take it up the asshole, doll," Taehyung explains, giving Jeongguk a look as his fingers linger on his pants zipper. Completely blissed out already even though they only kissed, he nods dumbly.

"Wait, but don't we poop from there?" Jeongguk asks, confusion crinkling his brows. He jumps a little when Taehyung unzips his trousers, wincing slightly when he bites too hard on his bottom lip. Taehyung asks him if he's okay, and Jeongguk simply nods.

"Jeongguk, don't make it weird," Taehyung's practically laughing his lungs out. Jeongguk mumbles a quiet 'sorry', his face feeling like a fire of its own as Taehyung pulls his pants down to his ankles.

"I'm gonna suck you off now, doll," Taehyung tilts his gaze up, his brows drawn together when Jeongguk's doesn't say a word. He honestly has no idea how they got here, and now, the reality of what he's doing is hitting him - hard.

For pete's sake, they're supposed to be studying the bible right now!

If he indulges in sexual activities with Kim Taehyung right now, there's no return. His lower part virginity (if that even exists) isn't permanent but unfortunately temporary, and in all of the teachings he's learned since his childhood, it's a part of him he has to cherish, protect. Sex or sexual activities isn't supposed to be done between two of the same gender, nor is it supposed to be done before marriage.

Kim Taehyung's actions go against every moral Jeongguk has, but as he feels the blonde's hooded gaze slowly beginning to transition into worry, he gulps back the hesitation swarming in his chest.

"Alright," His voice is weak, brittle, though nonetheless he nods eagerly after some consideration. "Puh-please do it."

Taehyung says nothing as he presses a warm kiss to the inside of his thigh. His face is so close to his lower parts Jeongguk can't help but feel a little insecure. Even though half of his mind is screaming at him that this is wrong, the other part of him is afraid Taehyung will be disappointed in his size. It's obvious Taehyung is much bigger than him with those broad shoulders, his built body, and in height.

"Wuh-Wait," Jeongguk squeezes his legs shut, his words trembling on his tongue. Taehyung lifts a questioning eyebrow at him, not at all upset Jeongguk has chickened out again.

"What if I'm not what you want down there?" He mumbles softly, unable to meet Taehyung's eye. Then, he feels Taehyung's hand slip beneath his chin, carefully lifting his gaze to be parallel of his own.

"Doll, you're everything I want," Taehyung assures him, smiling gently at Jeongguk. The younger coerces a weak smile to appear on his lips, practically melting when Taehyung connects their lips into a slower, shorter kiss.

"I don't care if you're big or small," He murmurs, trailing wet kisses up his thigh and biting down on the soft skin, careless about the amount of hickies he leaves. "All I care about is the fact you won't find yourself disgusting after I do this."

Jeongguk's grip tightens onto the sheets, the boy already on the edge when Taehyung pulls down his boxers. He exhales shakily when his already hard member throbs slightly when the cool air hits his sensitive skin. He watches through slitted eyes as Taehyung makes a sound out of awe, his attention fixated on his cock.

"My, you're so hairless and very pretty," He whispers incredulously, stroking the tip with his fingers. Jeongguk's breath hitches in his throat, but he forces out the words, "I-It's genetics."

"Damn," Taehyung drawls, eyeing his member before curling his fingers at the base, squeezing it firmly. Jeongguk gasps, completely caught off guard when Taehyung swirls his tongue over the tip, his eyes never leaving Jeongguk's.

The sensation is downright weird. Taehyung presses his tongue on the underside of his cock, his lips then wrapping slowly around his hardened shaft. He squeaks, the feeling of Taehyung's mouth hot, warm, and quite wet on his length. Jeongguk lets out a breathy moan when Taehyung pumps his wrist, the older hollowing his cheeks as he continues to bob his head up and down his member.

"Tuh-Taehyung," Jeongguk mewls, throwing his head back when Taehyung swallows him whole. He doesn't realize he's bucking his hips with each flick of Taehyung's wrist, his mind focusing solely on riding off his high.

It doesn't last as long as Jeongguk wants it to as he releases into Taehyung's mouth, the tight bundle of heat in his lower half unwinding. Through slitted eyes, he watches the older pop his mouth off, his lips coated with saliva and a bit of white liquid dribbling down the corners of his mouth.

"Why did you swallow?" Jeongguk squeaks, panicking when Taehyung bursts into a fit of contagious laughter. Cheeks ablaze, he pouts, shrinking in his position as Taehyung reaches over on his side table to grab a tissue to clean up the rest of the residue off them both.

"I wondered what you taste like," Taehyung shrugs nonchalantly, though his lips reamined quirked in a teasing smile while helping Jeongguk put his trousers back on.

"Y-you just ate my sperm!" Jeongguk whisper-shouts, his eyes practically bulging out of their sockets. Taehyung snorts, flicking his forehead playfully. "Don't make it weird, doll."

"It was weird though!" He finds himself giggling afterward, the picture of Taehyung looking so content after sucking him off filling his belly with a giddy warmth. The older grins.

"Sure, but did you like it?" Taehyung asks, amusement dancing in his irises. Jeongguk then pauses, his smile falling a little as his gaze averts to his lap.

To be honest, he has absolutely no idea what just happened or why he reacted that way. But there's one thing he's sure about - he really does like it. For some reason, it feels nice to be pleasured, and the whole time he didn't feel gross or weird at all - it somehow feels natural having another boy sucking him off. It just feels right, and that's all he can bring himself to explain. However, he's still a bit confused and hesitant to do other things, though he knows he has all the time to figure out what he wants.

"I did," He ends up admitting, that familiar red color tinting his hot cheeks in embarassment. Slowly, he lifts his gaze to meet Taehyung's, slightly taken a back by the wide smile on his features.

"I'm glad," Taehyung replies, reaching over and tucking back Jeongguk's chocolate locks behind his ear. "But, promise not to run from me again?"

Jeongguk nods eagerly, grinning from ear to ear. "I promise."

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i suck at smut lol

also thanks for 30k lovelies !
hopefully this chapter doesn't
feel rushed, cause the entire time
i was preeeettty scared about your
reactions. love ya'll so much 💛

i really appreciate your comments
and support (: sorry it took too long

[ UNEDITED ]