[ 19. milkshakes ]
T A E H Y U N G

we all love grace
we stan grace

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"So you yelled at him, made him cry, and ditched him?" Grace frowns as she takes a sip from her strawberry milkshake. Taehyung nods, running his hands down his face. The two of them have met up for a milkshake at Benny's, Taehyung needing someone to talk to.

"I fucked up, and he's probably really mad," Taehyung mutters, hiding his face in his palms. When Grace doesn't answer, he groans loudly. "Fuck, he's really mad isn't he?"

"Right," Grace replies, twirling her straw in her drink. "You're pretty dumb, but I guess all good-looking guys are idiots."

Taehyung cards his fingers through his hair, pushing his hair back and tugging at his scalp. He's never felt so guilty, and of course, he's never hated himself more than anything in the world.

"Can you explain to me why you've been acting like a fucking asshole?" Grace asks, her eyebrows drawing together. Taehyung sighs, shaking his head. "I-I can't."

Grace slams her spoon on the table, startling Taehyung and the other people around their booth. He gulps, eyes widening when Grace grabs it and stabs it violently into her milkshake that some of it spills over the sides of the glass.

"This is your fucking problem Taehyung, and you can't lie your way out of this," Grace snaps, pointing a finger at him. "So cut the bullshit, drop your ego, and tell me what's going on."

"You don't understand," Taehyung's voice is weak. He leans forward, holding his head in his hands. "I-It's hard to explain."

"If it involves your mom," Grace suddenly softens her tone it throws him off guard, "then I'll understand. I don't know what Rachel does, but my parents didn't react well to me being gay too."

Taehyung glances up at her, noticing the irritation has eased from her gentle features. He swallows thickly, biting down on his lip. He feels Grace's eyes on him, waiting patiently for an answer.

Sucking in a breath, Taehyung shakes his head again. "Grace I-," He trails off, unsure where to start.

"-Fine," Grace eyes him for a second before leaning forward, crossing her arms over the table, "I'll tell you something and you tell me, okay?" Taehyung nods meekly.

"So uh, I came out about two years ago, or well, someone outed me. I had a boyfriend, found out I wasn't into it, kissed a girl for the first time- you know, basic lesbian coming out story," Grace chuckles to herself. Taehyung finds himself smiling a little bit. It's just that effect she has, he guesses.

"My boyfriend caught us in the backseat of his car. Honestly not my best moment, but with her, she made everything worth it I guess," She smiles wistfully, her finger twirling one of her curls. "Anyways, he outed me to my family. My dad was fine with it, but man he was pissed at the guy. My mom- she was another story."

"Your mom sounds cool though?" Taehyung lifts his head, his brows furrowed. Grace shakes her head, her smile wilting around the edges.

"She got real angry. Thankfully Dad was against all the gay conversion therapy, but things didn't look too good for them. Two years later, a divorce was the result," Grace murmurs, the smile on her face not quite genuine anymore.

"I thought it was my fault for awhile," She whispers softly, chewing on her lip. "I blamed myself, and then my Dad told me it wasn't my fault one day. He looked me right in the eye and told me, 'You can't stop yourself from loving who you want to love, nugget. Sometimes love doesn't naturally work out, and that's okay. Things like this don't fall apart because of someone else - relationships fall apart because of the people in it'."

"Damn, Dan really is something," Taehyung breathes, his jaw slightly ajar. Grace giggles, reaching over the table to punch his shoulder.

"Tell him that, and he'll love ya," Grace snorts, pillowing her chin beneath her palm. Taehyung smiles at her.

"I think I like Dan more than you, and also pause- he called you nugget?" Taehyung snickers, flicking her forehead. Grace swats at his hand, her features crumpling into a scowl.

"Okay rude," She grumbles underneath her breath, rolling her eyes at him. "I swear, I tell you one story-,"

"-I'm kidding. No need to attack Curly," Taehyung grins, a rectangular smile fitting on his lips. Grace rolls her eyes again but she's smiling too.

"Alright then back to what I was trying to say," Grace playfully shoves his side. Taehyung sticks his tongue out at her, and she hits him again. "Ow," Taehyung pouts, but she ignores him.

"I really want you and Jeongguk to make up," She murmurs, her tone growing more serious. Taehyung awkwardly shifts in his seat, that guilty feeling settling in his stomach again.

"But you two can't do that if you're not honest," Grace continues, genuine concern twinkling in her eyes. "You don't have to tell me, but please, tell him."

"Grace," Taehyung sighs, playing with his straw absentmindedly, "I can't." Grace tenses in her seat, the smile on her face falling into a frown.

"Then can I ask you something?" She asks, leaning forward in her seat. Taehyung nods, gulping. As Grace is about to open her mouth, she looks over his shoulder. In an instant, the color drains from her features.

"What?" Taehyung frowns, turning over to see what's wrong but Grace reaches for his hand, forcing their hands to intertwine.

"The fuck?" Taehyung's eyebrows knit together, confused. Grace forces her lips into a smile, squeezing his hand tightly to get his attention.

Still confused, Taehyung tries to ask again what's wrong until he feels someone pat his shoulder.

"My, didn't think ya'll would be a thing," Jason chuckles, now standing in front of their table with Steven and Brian.

Taehyung's jaw tightens, the sight of this guy disgusting. All he wants to do is wipe that smirk off his face and tell him off, but by the way Grace's is staring at him, he can't. They have to act normal, or well, at least play pretend.

Jason may be an asshole, but he can be smart.

"Yep, we're dating," Grace nods, the smile on her face different from her usual bright, sunshine ones. Taehyung stares at her in awe, wondering how she can pull it off.

"Good for you two," Jason smirks, his icy gaze scanning their table. Taehyung watches him closely with a frown, wondering what he's thinking.

Grace opens her mouth to speak, but Jason holds his palm up, stopping her. She licks her lips, nodding to herself as she looks to be on the verge of sucker punching him. If they aren't trying to be careful, Taehyung would have let her.

"I wasn't finished yet, Anderson. Have your parents not taught you to let guys finish talking first?" Jason snips. Grace bites the inside of her cheek, her grip on Taehyung's hand tightening. He gives her a look telling her to calm down but she seems to ignore him.

"What do you want from us?" Taehyung speaks up, wanting this bastard to get out of his sight. Jason's eyes widen. He pretends to look offended.

"I just wanted to say hi and apologize for my behavior," Jason frowns, feigning innocence. Taehyung grits his teeth. This guy is not at all sorry for being homophobic. He can tell.

"Apology accepted then," Taehyung forces out, faking the enthusiasm in his words.

Jason scans him over silently, the smirk he wears mischievous. He stays quiet before crossing his arms over his chest and kneeling down to their level. Grace and Taehyung scoot away, eyeing him cautiously, unsure of what he's going to do next.

"Where's Jeon? Does he know you two are a thing?" Jason asks, fixing his attention on Taehyung more than Grace. Taehyung doesn't want to answer, knowing he's probably trying to provoke him or something.

He shoots a glance over at Grace, hoping she would answer. Their eyes meet and thankfully, she does. "Jeongguk is busy," She tells him curtly.

"Jeon's usually always with Kim and you though," Jason frowns, looking a little disappointed. Taehyung has no idea what he's playing at, and he really just wants to get out of there - it feels weird.

"You mean Jeongguk?" Grace retorts, her smile replaced with a firm, thin line. Something glints in her eyes, and Taehyung just knows they're gonna be here for a while longer.

"Even if he ain't American doesn't mean you can't try to respect his culture and not say his name right, Jase. He has a name for a reason," Grace adds smoothly, eyeing Jason up and down with a dirty look. Jason pokes the side of his cheek with tongue, clearly annoyed.

"Damn Gracie. Now I know why they call you a dyke," Jason spits out. "If you just didn't have that loud mouth of yours, nobody would wanna waste a pretty thing like you."

Grace instantly pales, her hand falling limp in Taehyung's hand. He tries to grab her hand again, trying hard to keep the act up but Grace isn't having it.

"Just because I won't get down on my fucking knees and let you force my head on your tiny micro-penis doesn't make me a dyke," Grace shoves him back. She slides out of the booth, watching as Jason stands up, his expression shocked.

"Girls aren't fucking items Conley. We're past all that bullshit about girls being weak, and you saying girls who don't voice their opinion is sexy is pretty fucked up," She squares her shoulders and jabs a finger at his chest, scowling.

He's blown away by her confidence and power, and when he gets up and joins her side, he feels Grace snatch his hand. It's like she's sharing some of her power to him as cheesy as it seems, but for once, Taehyung doesn't feel so weak.

"This guy right here treats people better than you ever would," Grace snaps, shoving Jason again. He stumbles back, eyes wide. Taehyung wants to laugh at his reaction, knowing getting Grace mad is the worst thing you can do.

"Come on, we're leaving," Grace says hurried, pulling Taehyung with ease as she rushes out of the diner. Before they exit, however, she turns around and flips him off with both hands.

Outside, Grace and Taehyung burst into laughter as they reach his convertible, the crisp, cool air hitting their faces and the tense atmosphere easing.

"Did you see his face?" Grace clutches her tummy as she leans against the side of his car, her face red from laughing. Taehyung nods along, laughing hard.

"I swear, you're truly something else Curly," Taehyung whistles in a attempt to control himself, nudging her shoulder playfully. Grace punches his stomach lightly, that sunshine smile of hers returning to her face.

"Guys like that really piss me off. We aren't living in the 50's," Shaking her head, Graces opens the car door and gets inside. Taehyung does so too, being the one to drive this time.

"Wonder how you and Jeongguk dealt with him for years," Taehyung chuckles, starting the car. He watches as Grace lowers the roof, allowing the gentle breeze to whip through the hair. He turns to look at her, and the two of them smile at one another.

"Jason was always a weird one," Grace murmurs, leaning back in her seat. "He and Jeongguk used to be besties. The two were always together in middle school."

Taehyung lifts an eyebrow, pulling out of the parking lot, "Really? Jeongguk's never talked about him."

"Yeah, cause he's a jerk," Grace replies, tying her crazy hair back when the wind blows it in different directions. "He did some pretty unspeakable things."

"Like what," Taehyung asks, curious. Grace gives him a look like he isn't listening, "I just told you - unspeakable things."

"Did he ever, you know, touch Jeongguk?" He questions, watching from the mirror as Grace leans back, letting the wind tickle her rosy cheeks.

"Once they kissed on accident. It was an accident in like first grade, but that's it. Jeongguk gave off those gay vibes as a kid, but he never truly acted on them until now," Grace says in a factual tone. "I'm actually glad it's you and not Jason."

"Wow, that means a lot," Taehyung smiles teasingly, clutching his heart. "I just got a compliment from you." Grace rolls her eyes and punches his shoulder.

"Take it, love it, and save it," She laughs, tucking a loose curl behind her ear. "You'll never get one again." She says, giggling to herself.

The two stay quiet, the car ride being short since Grace's neighborhood isn't that far from the diner. When they pull up into Grace's driveway, he kills the engine, and two just sit there, enjoying each other's presence in the darkness of the night.

"Thanks by the way Grace," Taehyung cuts through the silence, turning to face her in his seat. Grace turns to face him too, a small smile unfolding on her lips.

"You're welcome Tae," Grace grins, playing with the bracelet on her wrist. "I hope you and Jeongguk talk it out. Just be honest, and lemme tell you, it works from experience."

"I'll try," Taehyung nods, scratching the side of his neck. Grace smacks her lips together, unsure of what to do next. It's suddenly become awkward, and neither of them know what to do.

"Hey," Taehyung nudges her side, getting her attention. "What happened to your girlfriend? You never told us," He says, curious.

"Oh," Grace laughs softly, the pain evident in her eyes. Taehyung opens his mouth to take it back, but Grace clears her throat, stopping him.

"She went into conversion therapy right after we got caught," Her voice wavers, and he can tell she's about to cry. Taehyung's eyes widen, his lips curved into an 'o'.

"I-I'm sorry about that," Taehyung whispers solemnly, unsure of what to do as Grace sniffles softly. "I didn't mean to upset you," He murmurs.

"Nah it's good," Grace's laugh is broken as she wipes her tears with the back of her palm. "What happens, happens, and I wish I was there to comfort her."

Taehyung then wraps his arms around her, pulling her close to him. Grace is shocked as she takes a second to hug him back, and honestly he is to. It's funny how things work.

"I just want you to know that if the reason you're acting weird is because of that therapy, if you're doing it, that you have us," Grace whispers, holding him tight. "You also have Jeongguk to remind you that love is worth fighting for."

Her words makes his chest tighten, the feeling unexplainable yet he nods along. He's nowhere ready to tell Jeongguk anything, but at least there's a start.

"You know, she probably thinks that too," Taehyung pulls away, his hand rubbing up and down her arm to comfort her. "Every single day she could be wondering what you're doing."

"Well I'm loving her every single day," Grace murmurs, her voice small. "Fuck, I'm crying," She laughs out, rubbing at her eyes. "How embarrassing."

"I'm not judging," Taehyung smiles gently, patting her shoulder and pulling his hand away to his lap. "You don't always have to be strong on your own."

"That applies to you too," Grace smacks his arm, smiling. It's not her complete sunshine smile since it appears sadder, but he finds it brilliant how she's able to smile even in pain.

"I should get going," Grace wipes her eyes again, her breath shaky. "My mom's gonna chop off my head."

"Goodnight Grace," Taehyung unlocks the door and watches her get out. Grace smiles at him, "Goodnight Taehyung."

She walks all the way over to her front door, but before she leaves, she waves goodbye at him.

"Make up with Jeongguk or else!" She cups her hands around her mouth and shouts. Taehyung nods and gives her a thumbs-up.

"I will," He shouts back, grinning. When she enters her home, he drives back home, Grace's words on his mind.

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J E O N G G U K

Sunday church makes Jeongguk uncomfortable, and he's not quite sure it's because Grace and Taehyung keep staring at him or the fact he has committed a sin worse than any other sin anybody in the room has committed.

At the end, he makes sure to leave with the crowd, not really in the mood to deal with Taehyung. He then ends up going to the garden far in the back, a place he has discovered years ago.

The garden is filled with different, beautiful flowers and is tucked so far in the back of the church people don't know about it. It's his spot he goes to when he's with his Dad while he's preparing his next speech as the church's pastor.

Upon entering the garden, he notices there's somebody else sitting on the benches, and as he gets closer he immediately knows who it is.

"Justin?" Jeongguk calls out, catching his attention. Justin instantly looks his way, his eyes wide upon seeing him.

He's never really talked to Justin much, the boy being the captain of the varsity soccer team, the student council, and other big organizations in schools. It still shocks him a lot to hear that he's gay, considering he was dating the president of the student council for years.

"Hey Jeongguk," Justin scoots to the side on the bench, letting him sit down. He looks tired nowadays, the usual happy and energetic guy he used to see gone.

Jeongguk smiles at him, "How's everything?" It's probably going horrible since everyone found out he's gay, but Jeongguk won't treat him differently.

"Pretty shit," Justin laughs darkly, running a hand through his dark hair. "I guess you heard what happened?"

"Yeah, I did," He replies, staring awkwardly at his feet. Jeongguk's not very good with strangers, especially popular people like Justin.

"So are you here to call me a faggot and banish me to hell for my sins?" Justin says sarcastically, about to get up. Jeongguk averts his attention to him, eyes widening as he grabs his wrist.

"No! I mean, no, why would I?" Jeongguk frowns, his eyes flitting from his grip on Justin's arm to his face. His cheeks feeling warm, Jeongguk removes his hand, chewing nervously on his lip.

"You're the pastor's son that's why," Justin sits back down on the bench, a small grin appearing on his lips.

Jeongguk scoffs, shaking his head. "So? Doesn't mean I agree with them," He says, shrugging. Justin chuckles, but this time it's not as forced.

"Are you gay too?" Amusement twinkles in his green eyes. Jeongguk shakes his head again, snorting softly.

"Thinking gay people aren't that bad doesn't instantly make me gay," He lets out a laugh, the edges of his lips curling into a smile. Justin chuckles.

"Alright, I believe you," Justin grins at him. Jeongguk then makes the mistake to look at him, not realizing how close they actually are on the small bench.

Usually he never thinks of guys, but there's something about Justin that makes him handsome in a boy-next-door kind of way. He has pretty green eyes and messy brown hair, a package that all girls used to drool over at school before he was shamelessly outed.

He's actually kinda hot, and for once, Jeongguk isn't denying that. This feeling in the bottom of his stomach is like butterflies swarming inside of him, and his cheeks already hot and red just staring at him.

It feels odd, but there's no harm on exploring further, right?

"I never thought I'd talk to you since you hang out with Jason and them," Justin admits out of nowhere, turning his head away to hide his blush, realizing he's been staring too long.

"You still should've," Jeongguk says nonchalantly, swinging his feet on the bench. "Trust me, I'm not like Jason."

"Nobody can be like Jason," Justin scoffs, bitter. Jeongguk watches him run a hand through his hair, his heart doing that weird jumpy thing.

"He's an asshole," Jeongguk tells him in a matter of fact way, nodding. Justin's jaw hangs slightly when he glances at him. He lifts a brow at him, confused.

"You cursed!" He gasps dramatically. Jeongguk blinks, not sure how to react. Justin just shakes his head, smiling at him with a dimpled smile.

"What? Am I not supposed to," Jeongguk retorts, his brows drawing together, his lips falling into a frown. Justin chuckles, gently nudging his side. Jeongguk ends up smiling all over again.

"Didn't think holy kids of God curse," Justin laughs. Jeongguk rolls his eyes, "Dude I'm literally your age."

"You sure?" Justin asks teasingly. Jeongguk snorts and smacks his arm, unable to stifle a laugh. The two end up laughing, somehow enjoying each other's company on that tiny bench.

Once the laughter dies down, Jeongguk sighs, brushing away his fringe from his eyes. "I'm sorry about everything. Nobody deserves to be outed like that," He murmurs, his knee brushing against Justin's.

"It's all good. You didn't do anything wrong," He scratches the side of his neck, grinning boyishly as he kicks a loose rock on the ground. "They didn't even give the full truth."

"What do you mean?" Jeongguk asks, confused. Justin gets up from the bench, gesturing him up. He follows him, joining his side as they take a walk around the garden.

"Nobody caught us having sex," Justin explains, slipping his hands into his pants pockets. Jeongguk's lips form an 'o', keeping his gaze on the ground. "I'm not that stupid, and I didn't even like him that much. He liked me."

"Weren't you and Jason's brother best friends though?" Jeongguk asks, stretching his hand out to the side, letting it brush against various leaves.

Justin nods, "Me and Michael were close, but he made the first move. I was dating Laura at the time, but I guess he was my gay awakening too." He chuckles softly to himself.

Now that the two are standing side by side, Jeongguk realizes he has to look up to meet his eye. He sucks in a breath, realizing their height difference. Justin notices this and just smiles, making Jeongguk's face heat up.

"So how were you outed?" Jeongguk asks, curious, trying his best to hide his crimson cheeks. Justin sighs, clicking his tongue.

"Michael was pissed I didn't want him. I was scared you know, and we both had everything to lose. He told his brother, Jase made up a lie to get back at me, and that's how I'm here," He chuckles bitterly. "It's dumb how things are still good for him."

"I'm sorry," Jeongguk murmurs quietly. The duo stop by the small fountain, their shoulders brushing as they stand side by side.

"Don't be," Justin turns to face him. Jeongguk dislikes how he has to look up to meet his eye, the skin around his nose scrunching together when he tilts his head up.

"You lost everything because of them. Laura, your scholarship," Jeongguk's voice drifts when he realizes how close in proximity they are. He takes a step back, his cheeks feeling hot. Justin smiles, embarrassed.

"My parents are sending me to live with my aunt in Kansas for school," Justin shrugs like it's nothing, but Jeongguk knows better. Then, for a second, Jeongguk suddenly remembers how old he is.

"Wait, aren't you graduating this year?" He questions, his eyes widening. Justin nods, snorting softly. "Yeah, I'm turning 18 pretty soon."

"I-I'm only 16," Jeongguk stammers, pointing back and forth at him and at himself. Justin's eyebrows furrow, really confused.

"What's wrong about that?" He asks, his cheeks slightly pink. Jeongguk shrugs, the words he wants to say jumbling on his tongue. At this, Justin grins, finding him quite cute.

"Ohmygod it's gonna be illegal. Y-you're an adult," He squeaks, not meaning to say that out loud. Justin's smile slips off his face, eyebrows raising, completely caught off guard.

It takes a second for both of them to realize what Jeongguk has just said, and when Jeongguk opens his mouth to explain, Justin interrupts.

"And you said you weren't gay," Justin flashes him a crooked smile. Jeongguk blushes profusely, unsure what to say or how to fix their situation.

Jeongguk notices how his ears are tinged red, and the way Justin laughs nervously makes his stomach flutter. He honestly doesn't know why he said that out loud. He's never been attracted to many boys before, so this is all so new to him.

"Well, then, uh," Justin runs a hand through his hair, shifting awkwardly on his feet. Jeongguk chews his bottom lip, still cringing at himself for saying that out loud.

Before he can tell Justin to forget it, he swears his heart stops when Justin finally speaks up.

"Wanna go out together sometime?"

Jeongguk gulps, blinking rapidly. He's never went on a proper date before- heck, he's never properly dated anyone or even a guy of all things! It's so wrong, especially since he has Taehyung.

Taehyung. They still aren't on good terms, and plus Taehyung is the only guy he's ever done anything with. However, they're not dating so it isn't wrong, right? Plus Grace tells him it's good to explore things to figure out confusing stuff so maybe this won't be too bad.

"Y-you can say no. I get it. I wouldn't be open about it either," Justin stutters, panicking slightly. Jeongguk then smiles up at him, nodding shyly. At this, Justin pauses, his eyes wide. "Wait really?"

"Yeah, let's do it," Jeongguk agrees, nodding more confidently. Justin grins back, his shoulders relaxing. "I'd love to go out with you."

Maybe this is a good idea after all.

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ya'll wanted justin to
join their friend group (;
bet you didn't expect that hehe

also check out my new fic if you want!(shameless self promo) it's called NO LOVE ALLOWED 💛💛

i love yall and have a wonderful day or night! take care!