[OP: "I Found" -- Amber Run]

While Emma was finally letting the tears out, Scott was lost in thought.

It was dawning on him, slowly but steadily, that despite just finally hearing from Jean, his first thought upon waking up had been to make sure Emma was okay.

And now he was trying to make sure she was okay...kind of awkwardly...and while he was unnerved by what happened to Jean, the amount of concern he felt for Jean was minor.

Jean was going to be kept alive, and asleep, so there wasn't much to worry about except that they wouldn't find her...which he already knew.

And where he'd still have been going mad with worry in the past if he knew that...now it...oddly didn't bother him any more than it would have with anyone else.

On the other hand, Emma almost stepping out a window had nearly given him a heart attack, and he was still reeling from it.

When had this changed?

She was trying to be so tough, and it was driving him nuts not to be able to help.

But it had been ever since this started...he just hadn't realized it.

How long had this been going on?

Even before severing the link with Jean...

That link was like the last thing that had hidden his real thoughts from him.

But it seemed pretty clear now...crystal clear.

Maybe he'd pushed it aside partly out of fear, not wanting to face up to the fact that he'd changed his feelings...or maybe because Emma was doing so badly...he didn't want things to get complicated.

But...how much could one person take?

He wasn't sure he could keep pretending he wasn't seeing this.

But did Emma see it?

He wondered how transparent it was to her that he'd been having shifting feelings the last couple weeks.

He needn't have worried. Emma was more clueless than he was where this was concerned. Her power being blocked had kept her from noticing any of it. She was afraid to speculate.

Of course she wondered about what happened earlier that day, but she was insecure enough to dismiss it and assume it was a fluke of emotions and hormones combined.

One she shouldn't have given in to, but...a fluke.

And on that note, she realized they'd been sitting for a long time in rather a misleading position on the floor.

She stiffened.

Jean was going to kill her...

Not that it mattered. Apocalypse would if Jean wouldn't.

But no need for Scott to get in trouble.

"I'm all right now." She swallowed. "Sorry for that display... I... But there's no need for this, Scott."

"It seems like there was." Scott was very unusually perceptive for him.

He was freaking her out almost.

"I'm sure you feel sorry for me," Emma said. "After all...I'm pitiful, right? But...I'm...just having a weak moment... I'll get over it."

"That's not really what I worry about," Scott said. "It's just how often this happens. It doesn't scare you?"

What a stupid question.

"Good gracious! Scott, of course it does!" Emma said, a bit more sharply. "But if I thought about it, what would I do? There's nothing to do."

"I know..." Scott said.

Silence.

"You're trying to help." Emma knew she might have been a bit ungrateful. "I'm sorry...I'm not being very nice about it. I just...am not comfortable with pity. Never have been."

"It's not pity," Scott said.

Any more of this talk and Emma was going to forget the precarious situation she was in.

"Well, whatever you call it." She slid away. "But you have to consider if someone came in here, what they would think, so..."

"I guess..." Scott said. "If that matters."

The team was already talking about them enough without adding to it, Emma thought.

Of course, in light of the current crisis, it was of minor concern, but it was still uncomfortable.

"Well, considering, aren't you worried a bit?"

"No." Scott really had no time to be worried about that. His head was full of other thoughts.

"Oh..." Emma was surprised. "Well..."

"Emma...do you really plan on not going back...?" Scott said.

"Scott, this isn't the time to talk about this," Emma said.

"Just answer me."

"Of course," Emma said. "It's better that way. I told you that before."

"Is it really better?" Scott said. "Or are you just afraid?"

"Afraid? Don't start in about that." She had thought he might say that. "I can make the mature decision, that is all. I understand why you feel you must go back. But it's not the same for me. And it may not mater. I may never get that chance at all."

"Stop saying that," Scott aid.

"Oh, it's the truth!" Emma spat. "I'm--dying, Scott..."

Now that she said it, the fear almost choked her.

Scott looked shocked also.

"We both know it," Emma emotionally went on. "Piece by piece."

"But if the Merging is stopped, you'll be all right," Scott said.

"That's a big if," Emma said. "But maybe...but in the meantime, I'm dying... There's no way around that. Even one more day... What, you think I like saying it? I've been avoiding it...but...it's true."

"Please stop saying that," Scott said miserably.

"It's just the facts," Emma sighed. "But if we mend it...then my decision is the same. I don't understand why you have such a problem with it. It's not your fault."

"I think you're making a mistake."

"Not responsible enough for you?" Emma said edgily. "Sorry you feel that way, but it's not really a good reason to change my mind. I don't need you to tell me what I should do."

"That's not what I'm trying to do. I just think it's...I think you're wrong, that you don't have a place in that world anymore."

Emma couldn't stand this.

"Oh, stop..." She curled up her knees to her chest. "Don't try, Scott."

Scott felt his meaning was not getting across here.

But what could he say?

If he told her what he really wanted, would that just be putting unfair pressure on her?

Was it fair at all? Considering what she was already going through.

But then the thought came to him rather clearly, Are you going to get another chance?

Did he have time to keep batting this around?

It was like Morph and Wally said...there was no time.

And...he wasn't being fair.

After a silent fight with himself, he finally spoke again.

"It's not just...about that," he said. "I guess...I think it would be good if you came back."

"And why is that?" Emma asked blandly.

"I...don't like the idea of you staying here," Scott said.

Emma glanced up. "And why is that?" she repeated, more annoyed.

She was trying to make this this difficult!

Or did she really just not get it?

Scott looked down.

"I...don't want you to...stay," he said slowly.

Silence.

Emma didn't understand.

"Why?" she said slowly.

Scott looked up finally.

"I know this is really bad timing, but...I think somewhere along the line here...I started feeling like you just fit into...our lives...and...well, I don't like the idea of losing you permanently."

Emma frowned. "You'd get on without me just fine. I was only part of the X-men for a short time."

"Yeah...but what is it they keep saying...? There's no going back," Scott said. "Now that you've been part of our lives...it's just not going to be the same."

"Well, maybe that's good."

"I don't think so."

Emma paused again.

"Scott," she said, more softly, "there are many reasons I think that's not a good idea. After what happened with Jean, especially..."

"I think that's more than been made up for," Scott said. "If they don't see that, then...we'd just have to make them see it. It's not fair to ask you to give up your whole life over it...twice. Once was enough. You should come back."

"Scott, to be as blunt as possible, it would be more painful for me to come back than not to," Emma said. "I...don't think I could face up to it. And I think there's little use for me there..."

"You really feel that way?" Scott seemed suddenly deflated.

Emma's heart ached.

No, of course she didn't!

Well, she did...but for one reason, really.

"Even if I didn't," she said, "I still think it's better."

"Why?"

"I can't explain that."

Scott paused again.

"I don't want to push you to do something you don't want to do," he said slowly. "If it wouldn't be fair..."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...I don't know if I should say more," Scott said.

"If you have something to say, go ahead," Emma said. "I suppose I owe you that much. Not that it'll change my mind..."

"What would?"

"I don't think anything you could say would," Emma said. 

Scott seemed crestfallen.

What was wrong with him?

"So is there a particular reason you're taking this so personally?" Emma said. "Is it guilt? I told you that's not necessary."

"It's not guilt," Scott said. "I thought it might be, for a while, but...it's not that."

Emma's heart began to pound for a different reason, but she told herself she was being stupid.

"I don't understand that," she said.

"I'm not sure what to do," Scott said, uncertainly.

Emma was losing patience with this.

"I can't help you, then," she said. "If you won't tell me, I can't do anything... This conversation is over, then."

"No," Scott argued. "I don't think it can be...not like this. There's not enough time left, Emma, you have to see that...to be confused about anything."

Emma thought she might cry again if this kept up.

"I agree, Scott. There's no more time to start questioning things again," she said shakily. 

"And...I can't keep waiting," Scott said.

Waiting for what? Emma was so lost now.

"Maybe I could...if...it if wasn't like this, but there's no time," Scott said. "So, I'm sorry if this puts you in a weird position, but...I think...it has to..."

He paused again.

Emma was going to die of suspense instead of a break down if he didn't just tell her what he was talking about.

"I haven't been fully honest with you," Scott said, "and please don't feel pressured by this...I mean...to...but..."

Emma wanted to scream.

At the same time she could barely breathe or think.

Scott decided to just come out with it and stop trying to make excuses.

"I--I love you," he said finally.

Despite what it had sounded like...Emma still was not ready to hear that.

She just stared at him.

"I'm sorry, what?" she said, when she could finally speak again.

Now that he'd come out with it, Scott felt slightly more confident...at least enough to explain.

"I mean that...I don't know when it happened, but I've been...realizing it over the past few days, but I'm...in love with you, Emma."

Emma decided she'd lost it, finally.

She laughed strangely.

"Oh, this had to be a dream."

Scott moved closer to her again.

"It's not a dream," he said seriously.

Emma thought she was going to melt from pure shock.

Then Scott took her chin in his hand and pulled her face closer and kissed her...gently.

Emma thought she would faint again...

For a moment she let herself believe it, but then her mind told her this was crazy...absolutely mad.

She pulled away suddenly.

"No, no, you don't," she said.

"What?" Scott didn't think she'd say that.

"You're confused, Scott." Emma was sure of it--at least in the moment. "Being away from Jean, and...it's been stressful, and I understand, really, why this would get misconstrued...but let's be realistic about this. You're scared to lose everything, and...this is...this isn't real, it's just...you know...desperation."

"That's insane." Scott was blunt.

"I--" Emma had no response to that. She paused.

"But you can't be serious," she burst out. "All this time you've been worried about finding Jean."

"No," Scott said. "At first...I thought that's what it was, but...it wasn't. It was you. I was worried about you. I just...didn't see it."

"I don't think you're seeing it now," Emma said. "I'm flattered, of course, but...we both know you've gotten confused before, and I didn't make anything of it. I knew what was going on--"

Scott cut her off by kissing her again.

Emma wondered why she kept letting him do that while she was trying to argue.

She was losing her resolve, too.

She finally pulled back again. "Scott, I really think if you thought about this--"

Scott interrupted her by kissing her for the third time.

Emma finally stopped arguing. No use.

Well...if she was here already...

She finally just leaned into it.

At least for one second, she could enjoy this...

But she still thought in another moment it was going to be over... He'd come to his senses.

And she already should be stopping this before that happened...but...

Scott stopped finally.

"Maybe I shouldn't have..." he said.

Ah, there it was.

Emma felt herself go cold.

"I mean, you didn't actually answer..."

Emma went warm again.

Oh...she hadn't...

"I'm...honestly...afraid to answer," she said.

Scott suddenly pulled back. "Oh...I see."

Emma didn't have to be a mind reader to know he'd been crushed.

"No...I didn't mean..."

Oh...blast it...

She was going to have to come out with it.

Great.

This would only make this more of a muddle.

But...she couldn't stand to just crush him like that either.

"Oh, for the love of all things, Scott...you're so--I was never going to talk about this, ever," she said, a bit warmly. "You ruined everything, didn't you? This was all in my head..."

"Did you know?" Scott asked.

"No, I had no idea!" Emma said. "That's why...I thought...and... Oh..." She covered her face. "Blast it...I've had feelings for you for a long time."

There, she said it.

Well, it wasn't as bad as she thought.

It was worse.

She was going to die of shame.

"You have?" Scott sounded surprised but not displeased.

"Of course," Emma said, a little more assured--because she was explaining now. "What all this was about, really. I...I was all set to just leave it alone. I knew how it was, with Jean... I never tried to sabotage that at all. Everyone else thought I was, but...I wasn't. I wouldn't do that to you...but now you've...made everything complicated. I...still think this a mistake, Scott."

"Why?"

"Because I don't think you really like me," Emma said.

"But you just said that you--" Scott said.

"Yes, of course," Emma said. "Not that I planned it that way, mind you...but...it happened. But it happened for me. I never anticipated that from you at all. Now you expect me to believe this? I can't. You knew Jean for years and me for months. I know you've been concerned about me, and I appreciate that, but I didn't want pity. Frankly...when you care about someone, pity just stings from them."

"I care," Scott said. "But you don't think I've been thinking that also?"

"Have you?" Emma said.

"Emma, I actually wasn't going to talk about this," Scott said. "I thought things were way too strained to bring it up, even when it was weighing on me...but...the thing is...I don't know what'll happen tomorrow. I didn't want to leave it unsaid any longer....I didn't know how you felt, but...if you actually do feel the same way..."

Emma smiled suddenly, but then she frowned.

"But what about Jean?" she said.

"I guess...that's deserved..." he admitted. "But...I'm worried about Jean, yeah...because she's a teammate and a friend, but...the rest of it...maybe it had been happening for longer than I realized. The link confused my head... Once it was gone, this started to become clear really fast. I think I liked you before that... I just didn't know it."

"This is too much," Emma said. "Once the link was gone I could almost see it, perhaps, but even that? There's no way."

"But there is," Scott said. "You really don't believe me, do you?... I guess I've been that good at keeping all this to myself. But...If things don't all end tomorrow...I'm serious...so...I just need to know if that would change your mind at all."

"About leaving?" Emma said.

"I...I need you," Scott said.

"You don't," Emma said.

"No, I do... To be honest...ever since I first met you," Scott said. "I just...I was so distracted...I didn't see it, like I said. You've been there helping me all along-- I can't believe you weren't ever going to tell me."

"I was trying to be unselfish for once in my miserable life, Scott," Emma snapped. "I'm no homewrecker."

[I know the comics make this ironic, but the show Emma really just doesn't strike me that way, and that's what I based this off of.]

"Maybe it's not that. Maybe it's just...growth," Scott said.

Emma paused.

She thought about it.

"Growth, huh?" she said.

"I mean...even if you don't change your mind, I'm still...I'm not going back to Jean."

Scott felt so weird finally saying that. But it was true. He had known it for days...he just hadn't told himself that.

"You're not?" Now he had finally, truly flabbergasted Emma.

"No," Scott said. "I think it's over--I mean I know it's over.... It might be hard to explain that to her... She'll probably be angry, but...we're not good together anymore... Maybe all that about Wolverine was a huge sign of that, and both of us just didn't see it. Maybe it would have happened anyway...at least without that link. And...you... I know it's rushed to just dive right into that...and I'd give it more time, just out of respect, if I could. But, Emma...we don't have time. So...if you're dead set against it, really, I should just know now. It's okay if you are."

Actually he'd be crushed, but he wasn't going to say so.

"But if you're not, then..."

Emma stared at him.

It had taken this much to finally convince her he might be serious. He was really going to leave Jean either way?

But she'd swear he was being serious, if she knew Scott at all.

And he'd felt this way for a while? And she never suspected?

Suddenly she remembered all of Shine and Mystique's thoughts about it.

Oh, she was going to kill them! If she got the chance...

But...Scott...

She really should answer him.

Come on, Emma, work up the nerve.

Oh...whatever.

She decided to just answer by slipping her arms around his neck and kissing him back instead.

Scott was surprised...but not displeased with this response. He slid his arms around her back.

But Emma was smart enough to know better than to push this any further than that.

Better to be clear-headed if at all possible...at such moments.

So she broke free after a few seconds.

"To be blunt, Scott...I'd love to agree," she said. "But...with what's happening to me...and all of it...I just can't do that to you."

"Emma--" Scott began.

She put a hand over his mouth. "Shut up and let me finish. If we save the world and all that, then we'll talk about this again, all right?... If you're serious about leaving Jean, then...well, do it. But I didn't tell you to do it, you understand me? Do what you want to do. And if after that, you still want to be with me, once the end is over, and I'm, ideally, no longer falling apart, and I know this isn't just pity...then of course-- And I'll come back."

"You will?" Scott said, relieved.

"Yes, you moron," Emma said. "I was only going to stay because it would be too painful to watch, being there...but if you change your mind about all of this...no hard feelings on my part. I'll just...do what I was going to do anyway. It may be different...once you see Jean again."

"I don't think so," Scott said. "Not even in my dream...it just wasn't there."

Emma felt way more happy about that than she should have after nearly dying because of it.

"Well, that's a good sign, but I need a little more than one day of that to be convinced, Scott," she said. "Not that I think you're lying, but...emotions change so quickly...sometimes without our understanding of why. Mine aren't likely to. They haven't for some time...but yours... Forgive me, but I need more time."

Scott nodded. "No...that's fair...and...probably actually more fair than I really deserve after all that."

Emma nodded.

Scott leaned into kiss her again.

Emma allowed it for a second, but then thought better of it and pushed him back. "No more, Scott...not now. Wait...let's just wait till after... I don't want any regrets about this. Later."

"I understand." Scott actually did. It was just hard to calm down after all that emotion.

"Good." Emma knew she was going to weaken in a second, so she moved away. "Perhaps it would be best if..."

She glanced at the window.

"We'll have to be up anyway... It's almost dawn."

Now she wasn't tired at all...

"I should get dressed, so..." She gestured at the door.

"Yeah...I guess we all should," Scott said.

And Emma secretly hoped no one saw him leave this room--what would they think?

Not that she had that good of a reputation to begin with, but she didn't need what little she had to be shot...

[Whew...

Boy, was that intense.

I'm reeling right now. So many feels!

But probably not the last of the drama...]

* * *

Most of the team got up even before when they were supposed to.

Cristy herself didn't seem like she slept at all. She had a quick breakfast ready for them, with actual coffee, which the caffeine junkies in the group appreciated.

They were supposed to go to the Temple at dawn, when the guards would switch shifts.

It was about 5 am when they all were pretty much up. The most anyone had slept was probably 4 hours. But it was better than nothing.

Morph, up even sooner--and he didn't really need as much sleep as the average person did anyway--had explored more of the house.

He'd found some books about the Regime--called the "Reign of Exalted Mutants" in said books, and some old CDs, of which he was ecstatic to find several bands he recognized.

Including 21 Pilots.

"Ah, man, the worst of time travel is when you like something that doesn't exist yet," he said, showing it to Wally.

"Oh, Shine listens to that," Wally said. "I didn't really get that much into it. But it's cool. I like Skillet more."

"Another good one," Morph said.

"It's so weird that you know about that stuff," Wally said.

"You think it's weird? I've never had anyone know this stuff," Morph said. "It's like finding a long lost brother or something."

Then he sighed. "Is it totally cheesy if I kind of wish Mystique was here? I mean...there's songs here I've been dying to play for her. Literally, there's one called 'Morph.'"

Shine walked in then, holding her Bible, and immediately started singing, "'If I keep moving they won't know. I'll morph to someone else. What they throw at me's too slow. I'll morph to someone else. I'm just a ghost. Defense mechanism mode...'"

"That's it!" Morph said.

"I've wanted to sing that so many times about your name." Shine snorted a laugh. "Who knew?"

"Oh, you found that?" Cristy looked in. "That music got banned ages ago, but I kept a small stash. 21 Pilots is too good to miss."

"You know that's actually a Christian artist?" Shine said.

"No way," Cristy said. "For real?"

"Yeah, it's more obvious in some songs than others: Holding onto You, Clear, Be Concerned, Never Change, etc.," Shine said.

"Christianity was outlawed even longer ago than music," Cristy said thoughtfully.

Shine tilted her head. "Tell me about that.... I'm sure the church would never have gone along with this mess. We had ones we were working with, in the past, before we left it. Was that really only two days ago?"

"Must be strange for you," Cristy said, somberly. "And I hate to tell you, but...once human government was overthrown, Apocalypse declared it illegal to worship any god but him. He said he was the god the Bible, and the Quran, and the Torah, and all the other holy books were talking about."

[See? Everyone can be equally pissed off by this story.... After all, why would the bad guys stop at one faith?]

"In fact, even mentioning any of those books is a crime," Cristy went on. "But I'm in this too deep now for it to matter. We don't have any here. The music you might get by with a warning, but that stuff is a one-way ticket to the Arena or even just the torture chambers. They call them Correctional Facilities, but we know what they really do."

"Torture?" Morph winced. "How bad?"

"They break people, from the inside," Cristy said grimly. "Most don't last for very long. If they do, they aren't right in the head. It's not pretty."

"Sounds like them though," Shine muttered.

"It's strange that you knew about these people even before you came here," Cristy said. "It took the world by storm when they showed up. All the power."

"So how did they take over?" Logan had come in almost unnoticed.

Cristy rubbed her temples. "It's strange.... I almost don't know. I know they had all these powerful mutants with them, and that they killed all the human government, a long time ago. But how exactly it happened, it's fuzzy. It always has been. I wasn't that young--I should remember, but it's the same with everyone. It's just hard not to remember a time when they hadn't taken over, after a certain year. I know they killed a lot of people, but, behind that...the coup? The war? It's...I don't know."

She sat down and looked pained. "It's pretty bizarre, isn't it?"

Shine pursed her lips. "Not so bizarre. Actually it's to be expected. The Merging of timelines means that it played out two different ways.... No one here is likely to have a clear idea of what was and wasn't real...until it's completed, and then it won't matter. In a sense, it happened two ways, or even three, counting this itself. All this is really part of it happening. Right now we're in a time loop. All events now loop back to the two pasts we came from. But it's like a Play-Doh loop: If you squish it together, it'll become a flat line. Merging is essentially that."

"Oh, that makes sense," Morph said. "Another zinger for the metaphors. You see, the Time Broker never explains anything that clearly. Just goes on about DNA and errors and stuff."

"You know, that's a very inaccurate way to look at it," Shine said.

"Take it up with him. I never understood it anyway." Morph shrugged.

"I hope that this means you can stop it," Cristy said.

"One thing," Logan said. "How is she here? I thought we were still in our dimension. Cristy Nord isn't from our world. I would remember 'er."

"Even assuming that's true, Logan, and we really can't be sure--" Shine tapped her Bible. "--don't you think that's missing the point? The whole reason we're here is the Merging is the strongest in this time. From the second we arrived, we were almost in two places at once. Not quite--there's a thin line still, enough to have the memory discrepancy and that thing with Forge switching.... Seems it stopped once he was kidnapped, since now both of them are in the same timeline, they can't really switch anymore. They could only combine completely now. It's sharing space and time both that's the final straw. It's like tectonic plates in the earth: They slide together and apart, and we sense those disturbances. Like Emma does. But if they line up, we won't have any more shaking...and it'll be too late, probably, to do anything about it. We can't have two cities on the same plot of ground."

"What happens to me, then?" Cristy asked.

"If you have a double...you merge," Shine said. "If you don't, you'll just remember all this as always being that way, probably, since you're in this time. We who aren't will probably know that happened, but still be affected. Emma is sick, clearly, but it's been working on Wally and I this whole time too, even on Morph. We just have a higher tolerance. Believe me, I can feel the difference."

Morph shuddered. "Kind of like a hangnail...it just feels wrong."

"Ew." The young Rogue came in. "Are we leaving yet?"

"It's a little too early still," Cristy said. "It's a short walk, so.... Weird that no one came for us in the night, though."

"I believe I may know why," Emma appeared, wearing her freshly cleaned costume and looking better than she had before, though still tired. "I had a little visit from Apocalypse last night, in a dream."

"Ugh," Shine said. "I'm sorry. I actually had a dream too...but mine was more hopeful."

"You'll want to hear this one," Emma said. "Scott also...he spoke to Jean. She finally broke through."

"Whoa, really?" Wally said. "That's great."

"Not so great--she had nothing new to tell us," Emma said. "It only tells us the Telepaths are still conscious of what's happening to them, a little, but they're unable to break out of it. Something about being asleep."

She spoke fast. Like she had no time to waste. "But Apocalypse had something of more interest to say to me."

"All right, let's gather everyone else, then, and you can tell us while we're eating," Shine said. "I have some things to go over before we leave too, but we shouldn't waste time."

[Hmm...and because it fits too well, this song from Les Mis.]

https://youtu.be/XuYF-EnpLpc

["One Day More" -- Les Miserables]