The predictions that the worship time after the speaking would last until the wee hours of the night came true.

It was amazing that people wanted to stay that long after the disturbance earlier, but they didn't seem afraid.

Most of the X-men didn't want to stay that long, Scott and Gambit especially.

"Figure anyone who want to cause trouble, woulda by now," Gambit said.

"Are you staying the whole time?" Morph asked Shine.

"Oh, sure, this is nothing," Shine said. "Though if it pushes past 1 am, I'll have to call it a night. We have more speaking tomorrow. I don't know how worship leaders do it."

"Worship must be like coffee to them," Wally said.

[Fun fact: Worship activates the brain, according to neuroscientists. So it very well could act like coffee to some people.]

"Coffee helps," Shine said.

"I think I need to go home," Storm said. "I feel a little...overwhelmed after all that."

"You really did great," Shine said seriously. "You have a gift."

"But I really don't think I deserve any great credit," Storm said. "I didn't even really know what I was doing, I just told my story."

"That's all there is to it," Wally said. "Really, I never heard it all out loud like that. It's amazing."

"Yeah, I learned a few things," Rogue said. "I guess we don't know ya as well as we thought."

"True," Gambit admitted.

Only Xavier had not been surprised by any of it.

"You all really didn't know?" Storm was surprised she had never told them.

"Gambit knew about de Shadow King, but not de rest," Gambit said.

"I knew about the worshipin' and stuff," Rogue said, "and control of yer powers, of course."

"I knew the rest, but not about yer parents," Logan said. "That must have been rough."

"Oh." Storm looked somber.

"I've heard a pastor say that the amount you're able to tell your story is the amount you're able to heal," Shine said. "I was going to ask this tomorrow, but we may be staying here overnight, so I'll ask now--do any of the rest of you want to share your stories? I think they'd be amazing."

"Oh...no," Rogue said uncertainly. "It ain't very inspirin'."

"How is it not inspiring?" Shine scoffed. "Your story is amazing."

"Yeah, you used to be a villain. Now you're a hero." Wally gestured. "And you got someone else's mind yanked out of yours--that's a story."

"Not one I'm sure the world is ready for," Xavier said.

"Oh, you shut up," Shine said to him. "You haven't had the guts to tell the world you're a mutant, period. You shouldn't talk."

"I have kept it a secret for a reason," Xavier said. "To work for our rights."

"So you say," Shine said. "I think I see why you and Erik get along so well...and why you can't see that he is nothing but a dirty hypocrite."

"Mrs. West, please, do not insult him," Xavier said. "You just don't know him like I do."

"I know a rat when I see a rat," Shine said. "And that is the end of that. No more arguing about this, Charles. It's just the truth."

She huffily turned. "Leaving aside unpleasant subjects; Rogue, I really think you'd be well received, but it's up to you. Logan's story would be amazing also."

"Oh, no, Weapon X is not outin' himself," Logan said.

"You're on TV all the time, for the entire world to see, but this is too much?" Shine said. "Please...and you can keep what you want to yourself. It is your discretion, but any piece of your story would be remarkable."

Logan sniffed.

"And one of these days," Wally said, slyly, "we'll get Gambit up there."

"No way, never," Gambit said strongly.

"Oh, come on," Wally said. "You could tell them about how your swamp gangs were enslaved to a demon witch thing, until we got rid of her. How did they do after that? Did they keep her gone?"

"Gambit never ask," Gambit said.

"How could you not ask that?" Shine asked incredulously. "It's important."

"So you ask," Gambit said.

"We've been busy doing other stuff. What's a phone call?" Shine said. 

Gambit looked away.

"You're not very grateful," Wally said.

Shine tugged his arm. "Never mind him. It's his own choice how he feels about it... What about you, Morph?"

"Oh, my story is lame," Morph said. "Not much to tell..."

Shine shrugged. Then she turned to Mystique.

"I wasn't sure about asking this, but...I was hoping I could tell some of yours... I wouldn't give your name or anything, just a few pieces of it, to help people understand the different things mutants go through. It's unique, so..."

Mystique stared at her.

Everyone else stared at Mystique, wondering what she'd say.

"Why even ask me, then?" she said.

"Well, technically I don't have to, if it's anonymous," Shine said. "But it seemed like it would be a pretty crappy thing for me to do to just spring it on you. It's all right, isn't it?"

Mystique looked uncomfortable even more. "I don't care what you do about it," she said. "But leave my power out of it. Everyone would know that it was me."

"That's fine. I will," Shine promised. "Anything else?"

"I think you know the rest of what you should leave out," Mystique said, with some ire. "But I won't be there for that. I'm not coming tomorrow."

She walked toward the plane without another word.

"I'm not sure that was really a 'yes,'" Shine said. "Something's bothering her."

"Something's always bothering her," Morph said. "But why'd she say yes at all?"

"I think she's not really upset about you sharing it," Wally said. "Something else, maybe... I don't know--girls are so complicated."

"Said the married man," Rogue said.

"Yeah, it's a full time job trying to keep up with her." Wally patted Shine on the head.

"And vice versa, Fastest Man Alive," Shine said.

Wally snickered.

"Ve should go back inside," Kurt said. "Ve are missing the vorship... It has taken me some time to get used to it, but it varms my heart to see so many people sincerely trying to vorship Gott."

"Sure it do," Gambit said flatly.

"One day, perhaps, brother, you vill join us," Kurt said nicely. "Vhen you are ready."

"No," Gambit said.

Kurt didn't care. He headed back inside.

"And no one said anything about how he looks," Shine said. "I think they were just too prepared to see strange things. Let's go, Wally, we are missing it."

"Trinity will be staying," Jubilee said. "She's allowed." She pouted.

"Look, ya can stay," Rogue said. "But you'd have to go to the hotel they put everyone up in, then. Everyone else is flyin' home."

"I'm fine with that. Maybe it'll have special soaps and stuff," Jubilee said.

"Maybe," Storm said. "I'm going home for today... We'll be back early as it is."

"Waste of fuel," Morph said. "But Scott won't rest easy till we've checked in, you know."

So they went home.

On the flight, Morph noticed Mystique was real quiet, more so than usual.

"So what was that about earlier?" he asked. "You could have said no. She wasn't going to make you."

"I know that," Mystique said stiffly.

"So what then?" Morph said.

"Why don't you do it, then?" Mystique said, deflecting.

"I don't know--the idea of telling tons of people that I got brainwashed doesn't really sound like a good time," Morph said. "Who can relate to that?"

"I'd say half the country," Mystique said. "But it's none of their business, is it? I don't understand these people's obsession with telling everyone about their dirty laundry. Maybe no one will know it's me, but if I were them, I wouldn't be putting a face to these stories."

"I thought it was cool," Morph said. "No skeletons in the closet."

"You can't imagine how many skeletons I have in my closet." Mystique leaned on the window. "One night wouldn't be enough, even if I wanted to expose myself like that. Knowledge is power."

"Yeah, but...power for who?" Morph said. "If no one knows what we go through, they can't do anything about it. I never thought of it like that, till now, but it makes sense. You wouldn't think a conference of all things would be what would change people's minds...but...I don't know, these things seem to work. It's like people aren't afraid of us at them."

Mystique had nothing to say to that.

"What do you think, Logan?" Morph applied to him.

"I haven't understood this thing from the start," Logan said. "Churches always made me nervous. People talked about findin' peace in God, and I didn't see it. Even if I do kind of now, I never thought everyone at church was that brave or open-minded. Preacher's monk buddies weren't all so acceptin' either."

"Yeah, but some of them were," Morph said. "Think it could be this really does change people? And they really do believe it? And that makes it different. Maybe they could change the world." He looked serious. "Could it have been that simple?"

"Change the world?" Mystique looked up again. "What does that even really mean? The world changes all the time...but it stays the same. Wolverine of all people should see that."

Logan shrugged. "I admit the world doesn't really get better," he said. "But people can change. Maybe some problems do go away. There's always more."

"You should hear Shine talk about the other world she was at," Mystique said, scoffing, "one where powers like ours are normal, over 80% of the population. She said it was worse than here. Things like hurting yourself in public to win something were normal."

"Oh...wow," Morph said.

"And since when does Shine tell you stuff like that?" Logan said.

"All the time," Mystique said, sitting up a little. "For some reason, she seems to think I'd be able to grasp it. Why, didn't she tell you that?"

"Oh, she tells me plenty," Logan said. "But why would she tell you that? What do you care about other worlds? Ya don't even care about this one."

"Then I can't care about others any more or less, can I?" Mystique said tightly. "Better question, why are you so threatened by her apparent trust towards me?"

"Lady, you're dreaming if ya think she trusts you," Logan said. "None of us do. She ain't tellin' ya anythin' ya could use against 'er."

Mystique scowled...but Morph thought it was almost half a concerned scowl. He was an expert on facial expressions.

"You don't know everything," she said.

"Yeah, well, let's get one thing straight," Logan said. "If ya ever use any of it to hurt 'er, I won't stop till I find ya, got it?" He pulled one claw out.

Mystique leaned away from him. "That's not very Christian, is it?" she said in a low voice.

She'd picked the right weapon; Logan knew Shine wouldn't like him saying this.

Morph smiled. "Logan, come on, this went really well tonight. Can we not put a damper on it by making threats?"

"Fine." Logan turned away from them.

"You don't have to do that, you know," Mystique said in a lower voice.

"Do...what?" Morph didn't think he'd done anything, actually.

"That--defending me. I can take care of myself," she said coolly.

"I just don't like it when people fight," Morph said. "Anyone. Don't take things so personally."

"Hard not to. Everyone always makes them personal," Mystique said. "Funny, Magneto has interfered deliberately in your plans many times and been willing to kill people over it, and all Xavier will say about him is that he's misguided. I do it once, and get blackmailed into it the rest of the time, and I'm the devil."

"Well, there you are, finally," Morph said.

"What?"

"I mean, it's about time you finally defended yourself," Morph said. "You let people bully you about it, and they're gonna think it's okay."

"There is no point. Everyone's minds are made up," Mystique said. "I only think it's a little unbalanced. Perhaps I brought this scorn on myself, but why does he get off easier?"

"You know, that's one thing with Xavier--I really don't know," Morph said. "I didn't really clash with Magneto that much before. I think Hank knows the most about it, but whatever their history is, the Professor still thinks there's good in him."

"That is the problem with you X-men," Mystique said. "You think that there being good in someone means they will not destroy you." She glared at the floor. "But it only means they'll destroy you faster, to avoid the guilt--find some reason to make it sound like it's okay. Someone who thinks they are right is dangerous."

"I'd say it's worse to know you're wrong and do it anyway," Morph said, "like Sinister..." It was getting easier to bring him up.

"Sinister thinks he's right," Mystique said. "Science justifies everything to him. Apocalypse thinks his will is best and nothing else matters but his right to rule. Magneto thinks his Cause will justify anything he does about it."

"And what do you think?" Morph said. "You have them all figured out? Is that it? Then why work for them?"

"I really don't have a problem with their ideas," Mystique said. "But I know what they will do to accomplish them--anything." She seemed intent. "So no one can say no to them and survive.... But the naiveté of Xavier for thinking that is not true just because he is Magneto's friend...well, I can't begin to imagine how he can be that deluded."

"Let me get this straight--friendship means nothing to you?" Morph said. "It wouldn't matter at all. Goals are goals."

"I was talking about Magneto." Flatly.

"Yeah, well, you always avoid the question if it's about you," Morph said. "Maybe you just don't know."

"Why do you care?" Mystique said. "What's it to you? I'm not a prisoner anymore, so it's none of your business what I will do."

"Well, that wasn't why I was asking," Morph said, a little annoyed now. "But fine, have it your way. You know, if you're so sure none of this will make any difference, why did you turn on Magneto at all? Didn't you do it because you knew it was a better option going with us? Like it or not, that's because Shine is your friend. You knew she'd help you, didn't you? You just don't want to have to give that back to her, is that it?"

Mystique bit her lip.

"That's what I thought," Morph said. "Every time I start to think there's a soul in there...you just...uh, I don't know what. You can't seem to make up your mind whether you have a moral compass or not. It's no wonder no one trusts you."

He didn't mean that to be quite as hurtful as it sounded out loud.

Mystique winced visibly.

"I...uh..." Morph wished he could eat his words. "I didn't mean--"

The Blackbird landed right then, and Mystique got up once it did and walked off of it without another word.

She was wiping away tears, if anyone has seen her close enough to see it.

* * *

"So...was it a spiritual experience?" Kitty asked Colossus a bit snidely.

"Why are you still up, little mouse?" Colossus replied.

"Jean never said we had to go to bed. Everyone else is up," Kitty said. "Where're the other kids?"

"They wanted to stay the whole time," Rogue said. "And you, Lil' Missie, should be in bed, if you're not gonna be out at events stirrin' things up. Now git."

"So unfair." Kitty rolled her eyes.

In fact, only the teens were allowed to stay. The younger kids had all come back, and they were put straight to bed.

"Funny," Rogue said to Gambit, "I never took care of kids in my life before them, and now makin' sure they get to bed and stuff is just regular stuff."

"Come natural to ya," Gambit said. "You'd make a good mother."

This compliment was at once both something Rogue actually wanted to hear and something that made her sad, to the point where she had no idea how to respond, so she just walked away.

"I wouldn't take that too personally," Morph said, watching. "I guess it can't be easy for Rogue to think about that."

"Yeah," Gambit said. "Still..." He shuffled cards.

"Maybe there's a way," Morph said. "I'm starting to think anything is possible. Rooting for you two, by the way."

"Nice ta know, considering," Gambit said.

Morph didn't get it till he remembered Dark Morph's cruel "prank" on Gambit.

He walked away.

"What was that about?" Mystique said oddly.

"None of your business," Gambit said.

She gave him a look. "Fine, throw it out there and expect no one to wonder about it. Smart."

"Never knew Morph even notice things between us." Gambit figured this much was safe. "Till he tricked us with it. Not de nicest way ta find out."

"You can't hold the regular Morph responsible for what that concoction of Sinister's did," Mystique said. "Even as it was, nothing it did was that damaging in the long run. You got off lucky."

"For den, maybe," Gambit said. "But why you know anything about it?"

"I saw it for myself, remember?" Mystique said. "Helped undo it, actually."

"Right. How did you do dat again?" Gambit asked. Morph never said.

Mystique had told Shine how, but she had no intention of telling Gambit that she'd basically fake flirted her way into shocking Morph enough for Dark Morph to lose its hold on him so the others could step in.

It had been funny then, but in light of certain other events, not so much anymore.

Anyway, Gambit wouldn't appreciate the joke anyway.

[Ironic, since it's not that far from what he does.]

"Mostly just by transforming," she said. This was kind of true.

"Guess it come in handy having de same power sometime," Gambit said.

Mystique had moved onto something else.

"I've noticed you're after Rogue," she said, somewhat surprisingly. "Why? You know it can't lead anywhere, right?"

"Dis may shock you, but not everyone think da same way you do." Gambit was instantly defensive. "Rogue is important ta Gambit, and it ain't none of your business."

"Never met a man who didn't want the same thing in the end," Mystique said.

"Maybe time ta consider who you surround yourself with, den," Gambit was cutting. "Not all of us de same. Could be you who de problem. Maybe you teach Rogue think dat way also."

"It's not something we ever discussed, actually," Mystique said. "I always figured it was out of reach for her. Why rub salt in the wound? But I guess you wouldn't know about that, hmm?" She narrowed her eyes at him. "There are times when taunting someone with what they can't have but still want, is even crueler than telling them they can't have it."

"Mind your own dang business!" Gambit was mad now.

Mystique walked away from him.

Now she'd managed to anger two X-men, even there, in one evening.

She hadn't noticed yet that she tended to do this after every good event that happened around her, even if she wasn't the benefitter of it.

[This is a toxic behavior, by the way, but also a sign of victim behavior: the inability to trust good things and the urge to wreck them if you find them, just to prove there was no reason to get your hopes up.

Having dealt with this myself, I can only say it's almost pathological how strong the fear of good things can be, because the fear of losing them feels worse than just destroying them to begin with would be. In reality, of course, loss can be dealt with, but part of being the victim of trauma is that you feel like you can't deal with it. Even if you have dealt with it well in the past, you never think you're ready again. But it can get better with time. I think that's why people who do recover from that often prize others the most once they learn to trust them.]

Even so, Mystique couldn't feel quite easy about the whole evening.

She was resolved not to go to the second day of the conference. Still, she checked the program out of curiosity.

She figured out why Shine wanted to use her story. The session the following morning was going to be about the importance of childhood and how God's healing could affect it. No doubt Shine wanted some examples of mutants with difficult childhoods to share.

Mystique crumpled the program up into a ball and tossed it into the wastebasket.

It's not like she was a good example of that. She hadn't risen above anything. Why use her? Just as an example of what not to do, probably.

Why did it bother her?

Because for years, she thought, she'd know all this, but she'd ignored it. She'd kept from truly knowing herself, until she met Kurt...and then she'd tried to suppress that knowledge.

But it had been harder and harder to do this ever since, hanging around them all the time. And she hated it...but something kept drawing her back to it...like she felt compelled to know the worst about herself now.

But what she could not tolerate was Shine--and Kurt's--eternal belief that it was not the end of the story. Did they think she really wanted their help?

She laid on her bed and stared at the ceiling.

Unbidden, a brand new thought popped into her head about it.

What if she did want it? What if her anger and disgust was just her way of lying to herself...? Didn't she always end up wanting what she couldn't have? How was this any different?

Was it even possible anymore?... She couldn't picture that. She'd have to begin all over again, not just in a new form, but with a new spirit and soul and mind to ever pull that off. She was the way she was. She might be little more than dirt...but dirt can't change itself, can it?

She remembered that Mike had actually spoken about this in his brief message, mentioning how man came from dust. Funny story...the idea that humans were made from literal dirt... What made them so special to God, then?

Something about image... She hadn't been paying that close attention.

She was going to drop it, then she remembered that Shine had given her that Bible.... Well...might as well use it.

She opened up to Genesis 1-2. Even she knew where the story of creation was.

Ah, the breath of life.... Man was made in God's image.

Mystique snorted and tossed the book away. "We've certainly come a long way."

She lay back down. "Magneto would like that--he already thinks he's like a god--why not in God's image? Wonder why he turned his back on this religion, then..."

It seemed to her that maybe if someone was just taught this from birth, they'd have a chance of sticking to it and not wandering down the same messed up roads as regular people. How else could anyone avoid the world corrupting them?

She wondered idly when she'd even begun to think of these subjects. All this theology must be catching. But it wouldn't matter...and she'd rather not let anyone else know she was even thinking of it.

Morph had said she couldn't make up her mind.

She frowned. It just didn't make a difference.... What did everyone expect from her, anyway? She was Mystique, not some kid they'd plucked off the street who was just down on their luck.

[Minus the kid part, that is actually kind of her situation though.]

* * *

A few hours from morning, one of the Morlock kids, Cindy, who was one of the youngest ones and a sweet girl, woke up crying.

Cindy often had nightmares, actually. Usually, Shine dealt with them. Shine was excellent with that; kids seemed to trust her at once, and she'd sit with them till they were okay again, usually singing a song or two or praying.

The kids had done better with her, but perhaps because she was not at home and they just knew it, it made them uneasy.

Cindy's roommate, a slightly older girl named Ruthie (none of the little ones had mutant names), went to fetch one of the adults.

She woke Mystique up by accident, trying to find a different wing.

Ruthie was afraid of the dark and shadowy hallways, so by the time she even got to this wing she was easily startled.

Mystique jumped up when someone opened her door, ready for fight, before she saw Ruthie with a flashlight. (Hank had made sure all of the kids had these in their rooms.)

"What?" she said.

Ruthie was kind of afraid of Mystique...for obvious reasons, and squealed and ran out of the room.

Mystique only thought there must be someone breaking into the house or a fire or some other disaster, and, shifting into clothes, she hurried after her.

Instead she found Ruthie cowering at the end of the hall, afraid to go any farther down it.

"What's going on?" Mystique asked, not all that harshly, considering.

"C-cindy had a bad dream," Ruthie said.

Mystique noted the improvement in her speech since coming to live there. The kids really hadn't spoken that well before.

"Is that all this is about?" Mystique said, now sore at being woken up and scared half to death over this.

Ruthie looked at her feet. "It gets scary at night," she said, with the frankness of children about things adults are usually embarrassed to admit. "The house makes noise... Usually Miss Shine is here...or our other Morlock friends...or Jubilee."

Mystique remembered that Rogue used to wake up crying sometimes. She never really asked her why...but she always figured it had to do with her leaving.

Then she recalled how many times as a kid she'd had nightmares and no one had ever taken pity on her over it.

She almost just told Ruthie to go back to her room and quit crying, but then she bit her tongue. What a thing to say to a kid.... After all, it wasn't like a mutant kid didn't have reason to always be afraid of someone coming for them.

Ashamed at herself for almost being that thickheaded, Mystique instead swallowed her annoyance. "Which room are you in?"

"That way..." Ruthie pointed.

"Show me," Mystique said.

Ruthie meekly nodded and took her that way.

"How old are you?" Mystique asked.

"Eight," Ruthie said. "I'm not scared of the dark, usually." This was clearly a lie. "It's just windy and spooky tonight, and Cindy startled me."

"Doesn't matter," Mystique said flatly. "The dark is normal to be scared of. For most of us."

For good reason, she added mentally, but it would be unwise to say so.

Last thing she needed was this kid telling someone that she scared them on purpose.

Ruthie was glad enough to get back to her own room.

Cindy was still crying. Being left alone hadn't helped.

"I want Shine..." she said. "Or Jubilee..."

"I can look like them." Mystique didn't know if she was kidding or making a serious suggestion.

The kids didn't like it.

"No!" they said.

"That's creepy," Ruthie said.

Like I've never heard that one before, Mystique thought to herself. Now what was she going to do?

Ah, might as well just deal with it. She came this far, and she wasn't getting beck to sleep any time soon after this.

She pulled up a chair. "Ruthie said you had a bad dream."

"Yes," Cindy said.

"What about?" Mystique asked.

Cindy was too little to ask her why she cared...and so was Ruthie.

"Bad people coming," Cindy said, "and monsters...coming out of the corners of the room...like the sewers." She clutched her stuffed animal. 

"Cindy used to be scared of the rats and bugs in the sewers," Ruthie supplied, shaking her head. Both of them were scaled and obviously not human, otherwise they'd never have lived with the Morlocks.

"You were scared too," Cindy sniffled.

"No, it just startled me," Ruthie denied it.

Mystique shrugged. "Legitimate fear, in some ways."

"Huh?" They didn't know what legitimate meant.

"I mean that we're afraid of things because they could actually happen," Mystique said. "But it's still better off here than the sewer, isn't it?"

The girls nodded.

"And at least here, there's people to stop it," Mystique said. "Probably less to worry about. Not that it makes it easier..." She frowned to herself. "You want me to keep watch?"

Might as well, she had nothing else to do.

"Yeah," the girls said. "Keep watch."

All Morlocks knew what that meant.

Cindy shivered and laid back down and pulled the covers up. Ruthie climbed back into her own bed and did the same.

It was kind of windy. Mystique didn't like it herself. Wind always reminded her of the many nights she'd spent just wandering from location to location, trying to keep warm and dry.

She felt suddenly sorry for the girls. She knew exactly what it was like to not look like everyone else and to fear the difference that was stamped on you because of that. And they would never be able to blend in.

They were tired, though, after all the excitement, and they dropped off pretty quickly.

Mystique didn't get up right away. She'd become absorbed in her own thoughts again. Finally she realized she'd been sitting there for easily 45 minutes, and she got up and slipped back out.

She didn't really check the hallway before she did this, so she nearly jumped out of her skin when she found some of the X-men there.

Hank had heard someone talking, but not found the source till they'd already gone back into the room. Morph and Rogue were with him, looking sleepy.

"Thought I heard someone," Rogue said. "What's goin' on, Momma? Someone walkin' around the halls again?"

"Yeah," Mystique said flatly. "One of the girls got up, woke me up."

"I'm sorry," Hank said. "We've told her not to wander the halls alone, but they get scared... It's hard for them with all this, I think."

"Did ya walk her back here?" Rogue suddenly realized.

"What else was I supposed to do?" Mystique said.

"Nothin', I guess..." Rogue looked at her oddly. "She's okay, then?"

"Asleep." Mystique walked past them, trying to ignore their bewildered expressions.

"Huh," Morph said.

"I suppose even Mystique may take pity on them," Hank said. "We all do. It's not easy to be a Morlock. I only hope we are not giving them false hopes by introducing them to this life."

"Well, Hank, it can't hurt 'em to at least hope for somethin' better," Rogue said. "As long as we don't give up, maybe it'll happen, won't it? Better than no hope at all."

"I pray you are right about that." Hank slipped into the religious terminology without noticing it.