The team agreed to take the three days to think.

Of course, they all knew what they'd decide in the end, but, since it truly almost didn't matter now, they wanted more time with each other, more time to think, to talk...

Jubilee let Trinity know what was going on, and she took advantage of Winter Break to come over every day.

Jubilee and she also hung out a bit with their other friends, though of course they didn't tell them what was going on.

Brittney, Cable, and Nancy had all put it together that Trinity just had a connection with the mutants, but it didn't seem to bother them too much. Nancy said that everyone had their calling.

Shine and Wally, meanwhile, called Pastor Mike and Anne, as well as some of the other friends at The Way, in order to say they might have to cancel speaking engagements. And to ask if they could takeover.

They told them they had a dangerous mission coming up that they could not get out of.

Mike and Anne understood, though it worried them, and they said they'd have the prayer team keep them in mind.

"We're gonna need all the prayer we can get," Wally said. "That's for sure. Ah, geez, Shine." he leaned on the counter. "What a fix we're in now. God never makes it easy, does He?"

"He makes it as easy as He can, I think," Shine said. "For our own good. I wonder though...we probably won't be able to leave the world if we fail, but we may survive... I can't stand the idea of seeing our friends merged like this."

"If that happens," Wally said, "I guess we'll just have to try to help them. I mean, everything that's done can be undone, right? Evil never wins forever. We just may not see a few curve balls coming."

"Or we fade also," Shine said. "Tell me, do you have any regrets?"

"Ah, Sunshine--you know, honestly, no," Wally said. "We've had a lot of problems here, and we're pushing our limits of endurance, definitely, but I wouldn't change a thing. I never would. You know, the last 4 years have been the best ones of my life, in and out of worlds. I can't say it's even what I would pick maybe, if I had the choice. Go out with your boots on, we always say. And you, you have to feel the same way."

"Yes..." Shine said. "The only thing I would regret is never getting to have a family of my own." She smiled sadly. "Of course, we can't predict things like that, so it was never certain, but I always thought it'd be around a bend at some point. But of what we have done? I regret nothing. As Rumi likes to say, we can't live with regrets all the time. Every day to the fullest...you know, that doesn't mean that every day we live will be full of excitement or even anything remarkable at all...it just means that what you do in that day, you do with the attitude that it matters, and that you will make it worth while. I'd stare at a tree all day if that's what I needed to do, so long as it had meaning in it. That's Carpe Diem."

"Well said," Wally agreed. "That's the way it is... You know, if we had to go out, this team is the kind of people I'd want it to be with, too. I'd be proud to fight with them any day, as much as the League."

"More so, even," Shine said. "I love the League, but they fight for things they have little part in--usually they're just the protectors. The X-men fight for that as well as themselves and each other, and they will have to win on all accounts. If they succeed, that's the kind of people I can fight with. That's what I do." She smiled.

"Well, we're both going to cry if you keep this up," Wally said. "Which is not very manly."

"Real men cry, Babe. I've told you that many times," Shine said. "One person once said, 'I'm scared of a man who can't cry.' I'm more scared of women who can't. You know...we should just make the most out of this, while we can."

"Yeah," Wally said. "We have three days. Let's use them."

* * *

"Wally and I intend to just spend time together and with all of you the best we can," Shine told the larger team. "But I'm going to leave this open: Anyone has any problems, inside or out, that they still need help with...now may be your last chance. Take it, we're just going to focus on helping with what we can for now. The future will worry about itself. 'Sufficient for the day is its own trouble,' in Jesus' words. I strongly advise you all to do the same, except when you are seeking guidance."

"Amen," Kurt agreed. "And vith that in mind, I have a vish to vrite to my adoptive family, just in case I never get another chance. And to the monastery, to thank them for their kindness."

"I will contact family also," Colossus said. "But how to tell them about Illy... Perhaps is not worth it. Let them not worry for the time we have left."

"That just reminds me that our families are going to get affected by this crap also," Kitty moaned. "I can't bear that idea."

"Try not to think of it," Storm said. "We'd never stop if we start thinking of all the horrors possible if the Merging completes. What can we do now?"

"Get in more practice," Mystique said finally. "Could save your life. You need to be at full capacity."

"She's right," Emma said.

"Perhaps, but you, Emma, must not," Storm said. "I forbid it. I suppose you will insist on coming, and it may not matter anymore--if we go, they will come and snap you up as soon as they can...but if you want to be able to help us at all, you cannot tax what is left of your power. Perhaps now is the time to work more on where your problem is coming from. No telepathy."

Emma frowned at her.

But, of course, no one disobeyed Storm's orders... It always seemed like such an unhealthy idea.

* * *

Scott had no such orders...but the situation stressed him out also.

Perhaps that was why he began to feel the tug more and more of his link with Jean.

Strangely, he could tell it was a tug. Whether it was because Shine had put the idea into his head, or because she was not in his dimension, the effects of the link were a bit more obvious to his conscious mind.

Even one day after the camp, it was getting more and more distracting...but he knew it was.

It was also not a surprise to him when, in fact, he did think he saw Jean standing in the hallway.

For a second it fooled him, but then he walked toward it and realized she wasn't there.

Of course she wasn't. He knew where she was.

Funny...in this case he wasn't just imagining her because he was looking for her. He knew where she was now, and that they might be going to that place in just a few days.

But perhaps his mind couldn't help but look for it.

Honestly, the second time around, Scott knew already how distracting it could be if this persisted, and rather than waste time deliberating about it, he knew he couldn't risk going into battle that way. Not with the team.

So he decided to take Shine up on her offer.

They sat in the living room.

"I promise to be nice this time," Shine said. "Now that I know what's coming...I'm almost zen about this situation. Uncertainty kills faster than reality, even if it's an unpleasant one, that's for sure."

"Yes...actually that has to do with it." Scott rubbed his head. "You were right... I'm starting to see Jean again."

Shine looked surprised. "You're so calm, I didn't think it had kicked in."

"Since I know why now, I think it's less of a surprise," Scott said.

"True...a known cause is easier to deal with," Shine said. "So, what about it?"

"I can't control it," Scott said. "And it almost got me and Wolverine killed before...and...other problems. Emma offered to help, but there's no way she could do it now. I was hoping maybe you knew a way to keep the hallucinations at bay."

Shine studied him.

"I have had a way in mind for a while now," she said. "Since I heard of it, I saw this coming. And I agree--it's far too dangerous for you to go into battle. I can guarantee it will get worse if we get close to Jean. Especially if she senses you. But I do not know if you'll like my solution. You see, our way is to break bonds, Scott, or strengthen them, but there is no way for us to modify them into a less dangerous form. So, to be blunt with you, your only option is to simply cut that tie with Jean completely."

"To what?" Scott was appalled. "Just like that? Can you do that?"

"I could direct it," Shine said. "I believe it would work. Things like that are a small enough matter for us. A few rounds of breaking it off, and it should be gone. If that's what you want. But if it's not, it would be better not to try it. I could have forced it on you, and perhaps it might have success, but it would hurt your mind if you were holding on to it, and in the end, the damage might have been worse than the hallucinations are. So, I didn't. I never thought you'd ask me about it like this, even after I suggested it, but I'm glad you see the dangers already of continuing with it. So...now what?"

"I don't think I can just cut Jean off," Scott said. "She needs our help. It might be the only way."

"There is never only one way, Scott, not for us," Shine said.  "And certainly not from any bond you have. Whatever Jean needs us to do would be better done by a free spirit, not one tied to her. Also consider, if you get into trouble, she will also then. What if she is helpless to defend herself? This whole mess might be like that. I have a whole list of reasons why this is the best decision, if you need convincing. And the pros of it? They aren't real."

"But Jean and I are together, and that link is a part of it," Scott said.

Shine picked up her notebook, like she just needed something to do so she wouldn't scream in frustration.

"Yeah, about that, Scott." She turned a page and started doodling with her pen. "You know, most couples just love each other. I really don't think a link is necessary. Or healthy, if I'm perfectly honest. About time someone said it."

"You expressed some doubt about it before, but I don't see what your problem is," Scott said.

"Other than it literally drives you mad when she's not here?" Shine said, like duh.

"But that's a warning thing," Scott said. "It's what makes us good together, being connected."

"A telepath can connect to anyone, Scott," Shine said coolly. "There's a possibility of more compatibility with some people, but that's true of us all. But not all bonds are good. I counsel people a lot about relationships, not romantic only, but all kinds, as, often, they've had no introduction to the psychology of it at all. But it's well known in my time, and a little bit in this one, that some people are drawn to what is bad for them, because it is comfortable. Or, maybe it's not bad, but it's not good either. It's static. And you could know the person for years and be at the same level of understanding with them that entire time. It will never get better, maybe never worse. But it's not my idea of a healthy, growing relationship either. Of course you have to decide what kind you want, but I'm simply saying that a link itself is not proof of it being good. People can be linked to someone for bad reasons also."

"I suppose they could be." Scott could think of a few people that might be true of. "By anger, maybe."

"Anger, guilt, neediness, fear..." Shine rattled off. "But you know what the tell-tale signs of an unnatural bond are? It makes you weaker, not stronger. A healthy bond gives us strength just because we're near that person, or even if they are not near, but we know we're secure with them. When Wally is not around, I still feel encouraged just to think of what I know he'd do or say if he was. Same with my closest family and friends. Love is a shield, a banner, a seal upon us, when it's the right kind. As strong as death and as demanding as the grave if the object of it is threatened or stolen. That's true love, of any form. All loves do not feel the same, but all of them share certain tendencies when they are pure, such as a genuine desire for the good of the beloved. You should read this book if you can." She held up a book titled The Four Loves, by C. S. Lewis. "This is the nonfiction version of my other favorite book by Lewis, Till We Have Faces. But you seem like the type who'd prefer straight talk over mythological metaphors. Plus, it's shorter."

"I don't know if I have time to read this." Scott took it like it was breakable. 

"No matter, I've practically memorized it." Shine waved her hand dismissively. "What do you think I've been saying? Look, I know this will sound like a dangerous idea, but what if we just explore if this bond of yours with Jean is actually helping either of you? And if we can't find a way that it really is, without a dark side to it, will you at least consider my suggestion?"

"I'd be interested to hear if you can actually back this up," Scott said.

Truthfully...maybe he'd questioned himself if he really even liked being able to sense Jean's distress for so long but unable to do anything about it.

But he wasn't just ready to throw it out either. But he was uncertain enough to be curious.

"Easy," Shine said. "First question: Does this link cause you to be afraid?"

"How is that related?" Scott said.

"Scott, with all due respect, if you're going to question every one of my signs, this is going to take forever," Shine said. "Fear is not a good thing in general, and in a relationship, it's a very bad sign. Just answer me--yes or no."

"But worrying about someone--"

"Even that can be excessive," Shine said, "if it's causing you to act irrationally. Yes or no?"

She was such a hard teacher, Scott thought to himself with annoyance.

"Yes," he said sullenly.

Shine wrote something down. "Let's see...what about anger?"

"Anger? How is that a sign of the link?"

"What did I just say about questions?" Shine said. "I mean anger that's there even when the cause isn't clear. Or maybe more anger than the situation really calls for. Like, anger because you feel threatened in some way by it. Jealous anger or protective anger, even if there may be no need for it. That kind of thing."

Scott wondered if she did this on purpose at times. How much did she know?

How much had Emma told her...?

But he didn't think Emma would have mentioned that one detail. It didn't seem like something she'd consider worth bringing up.

"I guess, yes, sometimes," he said. "But I think that's part of being in a relationship."

Shine looked up at him. "Well, Scott, what most people think is normal is not always a good litmus test, depending on the culture. But even if jealousy is normal, and I would agree it is, blind rage over it is not. Doing stupid things because of it is also not good, even if it is normal. We're looking for problems here, not excuses."

Scott sighed. "I think you've made up your mind already."

"My mind was never the one that needed making up," Shine said crisply. "But to finish this, I may have to get more personal. Is that all right? It's not to judge you, but the situation itself."

"You couldn't get much worse," Scott said.

He probably would regret saying so, though.

Shine leaned on her hand. "You just let me know if I start being too harsh again. But here goes: Would you say you or Jean have ever fought over something that was blown out of proportion...I mean, more so than a couple tends to fight about? Something unusual."

"How is that relevant?"

"Over the top fights are a huge sign of an unhealthy bond," Shine said, like it was a stupid question. "How could it not be? Don't they teach you any of this at Xavier's school? But of course not. He doesn't know it himself. I swear..." But then she reined herself in. "Well, yes or no?"

"We don't usually fight," Scott said.

"Oh, that's a bad sign." Shine wrote something down again.

"What? Okay, first fighting is a bad sign, now not fighting is a bad sign?" Scott said. "That makes no sense."

"It makes perfect sense," Shine said. "Even some trained professionals think this. Conflict means friction. Friction is how you get stronger, how you learn to compromise, to swallow your pride a little. The lack of it usually indicates a power imbalance. Just look at my family. My parents fought maybe once or twice a year, but my father made all of us miserable every other day of our lives as much as he could. He had us cowed. Except me." She smirked. "Usually, anyway. So I got to fight with him much more often. That wasn't  good, however, because he didn't really fight to learn how to make it better, he did it to bully us into submission. But when people stop fighting, period, they've just swallowed their desires and wishes in order to cater to the other person. So, you need a small amount of fights."

She tilted her head. "I'd say, my best relationships, we argue as much as once or twice a month to maybe every other month, about minor stuff. And it's usually over in a few hours. Wally and I never fight for longer than a day. We have a rule that we have to make some kind of peace or we can't go to sleep at night. A Bible rule, I might add. So, how is the conflict between you two?"

"This is personal," Scott said.

"You gave me permission, Scott, don't back out now."

"I did do that. My mistake," Scott sighed. "We only really fought over... Well, it's embarrassing, that's why--"

"Wolverine?" Shine guessed right off.

"How did you know that?" Scott said.

"Same thing happened here," she said. "Only they didn't fight. I'll give Logan credit--he's an honorable man. Whatever he felt, he wouldn't force it on a girl, and he wouldn't do that to Scott either. And Scott here...well, he's not as considerate perhaps, but I don't think he'd hurt someone directly over it. I'm not sure. You seem a bit more emotional however."

Scott winced. "I did fight him... He wouldn't leave her alone. But in the end, Jean just got mad at me. She said she asked him not to fight me... She said I was like the animal."

"Wow." Shine's expression was unreadable, other than she was surprised.

"I know it was wrong, now," Scott said. "But I got angry at him at the time... The thing that really made it worse was we didn't work it out before she...uh..."

"Oh," Shine said. "Well, Emma never told me that (good, she respects your privacy, I'd think less of her for that kind of gossip) but now that you've admitted it...dang, that hurts. No wonder you couldn't let her go. You never could have been satisfied with that kind of ending, it's too incomplete. That would haunt me also."

"Yes...well, it did," Scott said. "But I just shut down once we couldn't find her... It wasn't my proudest time."

Shine tapped her chin with her pen. "How did the team take that? If it's not too personal to ask."

"Wolverine didn't like it. The others didn't say anything about it. Later, Emma tried to help... I guess she was sincere, but in the end, I couldn't do it."

"So do you always choose Jean over everyone else's safety?" Shine asked.

What a brutal question.

Scott started to say no, but then he realized he didn't have a time he could think of where that wasn't true...

He already knew Shine would ask him right off if he said no. He could see it in her eyes.

She was just waiting for it.

"I guess I can't help it," he said.

"I believe you," Shine said. "But the trouble with Wolverine is what started all this, sounds like. Why didn't he just back off, if she told him to?"

"I don't know that she ever did tell him," Scott said. "Emma said she found it intriguing... She was nice to him, but he took it the wrong way."

"Men usually do," Shine said offhandedly. "I've had that happen to me. But you know, a mature woman would laugh that off. Did Jean?"

"I don't know. I didn't think she took him that seriously, but I think she was flirting with him almost to make a point to me, because I hadn't apologized to him," Scott recalled.

"I'm sorry, she what?" Shine sat up more.

"What?" Scott didn't understand.

"Oh my gosh," Shine muttered. "This is worse than I thought. Wow...I can't see the Jean I know doing anything like that..."

She muttered something else Scott couldn't catch.

Good thing, too. It was not a very flattering term for Jean.

"Well," Shine said aloud, "I have all the proof I need. This link is deeply unhealthy, in my quasi-professional opinion, Scott. I would recommend cutting it as soon as possible."

"Where did you get that?" Scott said. "We weren't even talking about the link."

"Don't be dense," Shine said. "All that is of a piece. How do you think these bonds happen? They aren't usually this bad, but telepaths seem to have an affinity for making these things stronger than they normally would be. I don't know if Jean did this on purpose or if she just can't control her powers, but it's obvious to me that this is bad for you, probably for her also. All I really needed to know was that it caused hallucination. Anything like that is bad. One could have said that you just have a weaker mind and hallucinate anyway, but the timing of it that struck me was that it must have been the more Jean became conscious, meaning that she plays a factor in it. I think your problems would stop without it. If you need more incentive, I won't let you come with us if you still have it."

"What?" Scott said.

"I can't," Shine said. "We'll be going through a portal, which can jar the mind anyway, and into a danger zone which may have all kinds of memory triggers for most of the team. It'd be setting you up for certain failure, and the team cannot be responsible for watching your back while you have your own freak outs about Jean. You want to keep the link? You will stay here. Sorry, it's just smart. I can't force you to break it, but I have to think of everyone else's safety, as well as yours."

"No...that's fair," Scott realized. "That's... But at the same time, if the link is gone...will I forget about her?"

"Oh, no," Shine said. "I don't do memory wipes, Scottie. I'll tell you what will happen: If it's cut, Jean cannot reach into your mind, specially, anymore and call out to you. Only what she can do with other people. You won't feel a pull to her psionically, and she won't feel it from you. But, if you two really do care about each other, none of those feelings will be gone. I can't kill love, Scott, and I wouldn't want to. If love is indeed what's there, this would probably only make it more clear. It would take the fear and paranoia out of it, somewhat. That could only help you."

"Well, that doesn't sound so bad," Scott said. "There's a catch, right? We have that link for a reason."

"Yes, Jean uses it to protect herself," Shine said. "Perhaps it protects you...sometimes, if only that she can tell if you're in danger, but it doesn't seem to incapacitate her. And unless she's close enough to help you, it's not very useful anyway or fair to anyone else she might need to be helping, so I'd not count that as a reason to keep it. Both of you have other people to think of, not just each other. A balanced connection would allow you to do that. This link does not. It's fine to have someone special, Scott, someone you worry about more than other people, but what is not fine is to neglect your duty that's right in front of you in favor of trying to go off and help them. The link seems to be this sort of unfair demand to make you worry about what you can't help, to me. Of course, if I were you, I'd be wondering if you and Jean should even still be together?"

"What? Why?" Scott said.

"Where do I start?" Shine said. "You rely on each other way too much for your sense of worth. You especially, if I may be so blunt. She played with your emotions in a way that makes me sick, really. And at the end of the day, she had no business flirting with someone else if you two were together. I don't care if she found him cool or not. I would never do that to my husband, and I didn't do it when we dated. And believe me, if I caught him doing it, we'd have had the fight of the century. I take the idea of cheating very seriously."

She folded her arms. "I'm sure you can think of reasons Jean is a good person, and maybe you're right, but that doesn't make her ready for a relationship. She sounds immature to me. Both of you do, actually, but her more so. Frankly, this idea sounds like a bad one. I recommend dating to people who'd benefit from dating each other and who I think would grow from it. I don't see that here. It's not hard to figure it out, actually. Sure, you worry about her, but that's not a sign it's a good thing for you. We worry about all kinds of things that it's not really our place to worry about."

"Again, you're throwing a lot at me," Scott said. "You don't know either of us that well."

"Well, I wasn't crazy about it even here," Shine said. "But Scott and Jean here are married. I don't mess with that. That's unbiblical. And, even as much as they have annoyed me, I admit, in some ways, they can be a good influence on each other. Jean needs someone to have direction, and Scott certainly needs to curb his frustration with the team at times. But I see some clear differences between you and your Jean and them, differences that I think are too big to be ignored. But that's just my opinion, and I can't tell you what to do about it. But honestly, Scott, I didn't get the idea you really want to be with Jean all that much to begin with. Maybe I thought this would help you have a little freedom to choose what you want."

"What on earth gave you that idea?" Scott said.

"You wanted to forget her," Shine said.

"I...what?" Scott said.

"When Emma offered, you were going to take it, right?" Shine said. "Didn't even hesitate much. It was too painful, and you knew it was ruining your role on the team, didn't you?"

"I did, but how does...? I don't understand why you think that means I don't want to be with Jean--it's because I was so upset about her," Scott said.

"Yes, regret is a horrible hing," Shine said. "But taking the regret off of it, and your white knight complex's need to save someone no matter what...I don't see it. You won't like me saying this, but it's in love: If you want to forget someone, then you don't really love them that much. All the pain of love is better than the emptiness without it to people who have it, the real thing. Better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all." She shrugged. "I believe that. I'd never want to forget Wally or my family...and I almost have, believe me...so...I can't imagine choosing it, even if it was driving me crazy to think about them. But I can't see it driving me crazy either. I'd be sad, yes, but I see them all as their own people. I can't save them every time. I know that. But, of course, you might want to forget someone if the love was based on just an idea of them."

She shrugged. "We've talked a little before about how you idealize people. Jean has to be the biggest part of that. You haven't fully accepted what I said about it. But you must feel, deep down, that it is the truth. So what will you do about it? This idea of mine, it will give you a chance to have a clear head. And if you still want the same things, fine. Far be it from me to stop you, though I believe it's a mistake, but that's your choice. I only want to give you the chance to make it, unhindered by any ties that would push you one way or the other."

She waited.

Scott was silent.

"And if you're hesitant because, in some way, the idea of having a choice is unpleasant to you, that is really a huge red flag," Shine added. "That's not normal, Scott. And it's not love either. It's obligation...dependence, really."

Scott was still silent.

"Okay, tell you what, you take a day to think about it," Shine said. "Don't go out of the house, though, just in case. And if you think this makes sense, at least a little, we'll go ahead. If it's not worth it, then fine. I won't force you."

"Okay," Scott agreed, glad to get out of there. 

Shine thought she knew what he'd decide. But at this point, he had to feel like it was him, and not her badgering him, so she wasn't going to say any more about it.

She was serious about it keeping him out of the fight, though.