As if heralding the end of autumn and the coming of winter, the chilling wind continued to blow, as it had since morning.

"I guessed it's about time I bought a coat." I muttered to myself in the silent hallway.

I started to space out.

What kind of coat should I get this year? I had to consider this carefully, since I can't afford to buy more than one. Last year, I eventually settled on getting a furry mods coat, but this year, I want one of those vibrantly-colored cocoon coats that are in fashion right now. No, rather, I should be looking for something that goes with just about anything, like a plain gray or navy A-line. But after weighing all my options, I decided on a white duffel coat, or...

I thought to myself as I sat alone in the waiting area of the hallway.

The seats lined up along the classroom-side wall are empty. I was the last one left.

Feeling bored and having nobody to talk to, I swung my legs back and forth in the air  and waited.

As I looked at the huge brush-writing sign pasted on the door, my thoughts wandered into the past.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

I have always wanted to be an idol. I'm not sure why, maybe it is because I've been this way for as long as I can remember.

I'm sure part of it was because of those dazzling outfits they wear, how they stand on the stage as the center of attention, and the sensation of singing and dancing. I don't think there's a single girl in the world who wouldn't want to be an idol.

I mean, Eli-chan was so against it at first, but in the end, she became a school idol too ♡

All we had to do was to say, "you've got what it takes to be an idol," "you just have to take one step across this line," and "please, please, become an idol!"

I don't think anyone in the world would be able to pass up that chance.
Not even Eli-chan. Not even Umi-chan.

Not a girl in the world. No, maybe it's not just girls? Homosexuals love idols too, and even guys are really into idols.

Right?

Nobody in the world would hate idols ♡

It's just that they give up sometimes, with the thought that they can never become idols.

Not that I don't understand their hesitance.

But I don't like it.

So I've decided a long time ago that I would become an idol, no matter what.

Not a pâtissière, not a flower grower, not a preschooler, not a doctor, not a CEO, not Doraemon... Wait, that last one might come close... No, not a single one of those!

The only thing I've wanted and thought of becoming was a true idol.

If I can dance, sing, and shine on TV, if everyone praises my cuteness, and if I can spread my best smile across Japan.

Then maybe that will reach Daddy someday.

After all, my smile is the greatest in the world.

Nobody can beat my nico nico nii~ ♡

That's why I put effort in what I want to become.

Of course, the quickest way to become an idol is through auditions.

But, for an elementary-schooler, having to find auditions itself was a challenge. While other children had their parents take them there, Mommy1 was always busy with work and rarely came home, so I got around by following my friends and their parents.

I got accepted as a research student a few times, but in the end, there would be lesson and registration fees to deal with.
Plus, pretty much all of them took ballet, cheer or piano classes at the same time.

But Mommy was always working so hard, always coming home late, and never seemed to have any free time. I couldn't tell her my situation, not over my dead body.

Oh, but in her defense, she would buy me shoes, uniforms, and anything else that I needed if I asked. I got a monthly allowance, so I didn't think we were really impoverished.

But, like, even a kid would understand, right?

We couldn't afford to waste anything.

Even if it was my dearest dream that we were talking about.

I was still an elementary-schooler after all.

If I were to seriously try and become an idol, I would have to go to all sorts of expensive extracurricular lessons. It would feel like a completely different world.

So, I diligently saved my allowance... and, when I was in 4th grade, I finally joined a children's theater troupe.

It was a long-standing group, consisting of local volunteers, who were holding a one-year class exclusively for local children.

A light, economical, experience-building exhibition course for local children only, and with no registration fee, all you needed was 2000 yen a month for the lessons.

"My big chance has finally come!!" I thought. I jumped at the opportunity, and Mommy allowed it, thinking it would be an enriching experience. And so, I began attending lessons twice a week.

I didn't miss a single day of this precious opportunity. If I gained recognition here, if I caught someone's attention, then maybe I would get recruited as a permanent member. And, experience aside, being in a theatre ensemble might increase my chances to appear on stage or on TV.

I went to practice with a wide smile.

My first real dance lessons.

Lessons to find what angles made me look cutest, lessons on walking emphatically, and formal singing lessons.

It was my first experience with theatre... and I loved every second of it.

The acting, the singing, the dancing... it all fitted me perfectly.

So I thought, 'this is it.' This is the path for me.

Before long, the chance for me to realize my dreams came.

The auditions for the children's parts for a famous musical...

After entering the troupe, I had earned praise from the head, and managed to make it through the final test.

I was the only one left from my course.

My chest was trembling. My heart felt like it could jump right out of my chest.

But, in the end, they chose two other people.

They were two normal kids. They paid a normal lesson fee, and were enrolled in a normal course.

Of course, it might have been that I just wasn't good enough, but back then, I thought, "that's how it went. Of course, that's how it would have gone."

I was frustrated.

I wanted to cry because of my frustration.

But I knew that I shouldn't cry just because I felt frustrated.

Because my worth didn't ride on something like this.

That was why.

And afterwards, I heard from the people at the office the true reason for my lost.

It was because I didn't have teeth.

And in fact... I didn't.

At that time, I'd just lost two baby teeth, next to my front teeth.

And my new ones hadn't grown yet.

But the two kids who got picked were about the same age. When I asked them about that, they told me that those two had been in a theater troupe from an early age, so whenever their teeth fell out, they got fake ones put in.

I see. I didn't know about that.

But even if I did know, fake teeth sound really expensive...

Like, in magazines, they talked about how performers spend like a few million yen beautifying their teeth, right?

So I couldn't tell Mommy.

Not on my life.

But I won't cry. Even though it hurts, I won't cry.

Because if I do...then I'll really lose.

I will never, ever cry.

And...

The days passed by as if nothing happened.

I entered a regular public middle school, and, as usual, I signed up for auditions, beat out the second-rate lesson-taking students, and then couldn't enter because I didn't have money.

If you said that I wasn't being all that serious anymore... well, you'd be right.

After all, most of those auditions I had gone to were B-class gigs.

I thought, I've got the sort of talent that only comes around one in a century, so I'd be better off entering the scene with a bang rather than starting off as an underground idol.

I would just have to wait for it.

I believed that soon, my true and honest big chance would appear before me.

More likely than not, I was serious about it.

Because, when I was graduating from elementary school, the performing arts high school UTX opened up in front of Akibahara station, with that fancy black skyscraper.

By the time I'd started thinking about where I'd go after middle school, A-RISE, the pride of UTX, and Japan's number-one school idols, had built up a reputation. And when I saw that, I thought, "That's me! That's my real big chance!"

That's the only place for me.

I've kept it a secret from the rest of μ's, but I've come to see their theater many times.

So many, many times, and it nearly brought me to tears.

But I held it back. I was determined, from the bottom of my heart, to stand on that stage.

That's the only place for me, I thought. I'd really be able to dance on that stage.

And then...

The fall of my third year.

One day, after picking up an enrollment packet, I skipped home in high spirits via a short path.

But the enrollment guide in the packet surprised me.

I had forgotten.

I'd stepped beyond my bounds.

I'd been too absorbed in the idea that I'd be going to UTX.

I'd never imagined there existed schools that would cost 1 million yen just to register for it.

Back then, I was far, far younger than I am today.

Otonokizaka Academy wasn't even on my radar.

It was that same old reason.

All because I didn't have money.

My big chance shattered to bits, and the door slammed in my face.

I was in shock.

I thought I was so sad I'd cry... but nothing came out.

I laughed a little, thinking that it was just too big of a shock for me to cry.

But now that I think back, I know I was wrong.

Now that I think back, the reason I didn't cry was definitely because that wasn't my real chance.

Somewhere within my despairing heart, I'd realized it instinctively.

It was an instinct that I'd become an idol, no matter what.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

Clatter, clatter, clatter.

The classroom door opened.

The thick smell of perfume.

Out came a woman in a beautiful beige suit, accompanied by her daughter, the girl who went in before me.

"Huh? Where's your mom, Nico-chan?"

"She's busy with work today ♡" I winked back.

The girl's mom looked at me with a face that said, 'that must be tough.

It's tough all right.

It's tough, but Mommy's the one having the hardest time here.

I can handle this counselling conference myself, no problem!

I made a smile and stood up to enter the room.

Inside were my homeroom teacher and the vice-principal, who was in charge of career counselling.

They were both middle-aged ladies.

My homeroom teacher prompted me to sit down.

"Hmm, Well then, you're the last one, right, Yazawa-san? You said your mother couldn't come due to work. According to your career aspiration questionnaire, after graduating, you're, er..."

She scanned through the documents.

But, there was nothing there.

"It's... blank?"

The homeroom teacher frowned, and the vice-principal adjusted her glasses.

Teeheehee ♡

There was nothing I could do about it.

Back when I was filling out the questionnaire, I didn't have any aspirations left to speak of.

I'd began my last year of high school with resignation. Frankly, if I couldn't get into UTX, then I didn't care what happened to me after graduation anymore.

With a troubled look, my homeroom teacher asked, "Well, have you decided what you want to do now?"

I jumped up and say, "Yes, of course!"

Relieved, the homeroom teacher smiled.

I raised both my voice and my hand.

Like a player pledging at Kōshien2.

"I am going to become an idol! No matter what anyone says, I shall continue on my honest path, and fight on until I become an idol!"

I saw their jaws dropped, and laughed a little.

I've got a talent for giving people an impact ♡

Teeheehee ♪

Right now, I think that this is really my big chance.

I've met Honoka-chan, Kotori-chan, Umi-chan, Maki-chan, Hanayo-chan and Rin-chan, and even Eli-chan and Nozomi-chan, who were the type that I honestly never thought I'd be friends with in my whole life, despite being in the same year.

And being a school idol like this, I can feel it.

This is my real big chance.

I'd been wandering all my life.

So that I could come here.

Because, although I've never told anyone about this secret,

I've never had so much fun in my life!

It's better than when I was in the theater troupe, better than when I went to all those auditions, better than when I went to UTX's theater.

That uneasy, painful feeling in my heart is gone now.

Simply being with the rest of μ's and practicing with them is so fun.

That doubt I had deep inside me, which I didn't want to admit, that doubt that I'd never become a idol, might be flying out to the end of the universe now.

Now, I can think about being an idol all I want.

I act as an idol, and play around with the other idols... I've never been happier in my life.

Even with me the way I am, I can become an idol.

No, I'm already an idol!

So, I'm sure that from now on, I'll be able to show my best smile to the world.

Nico nii, nico nii, nico nico nii ♡

I'm gonna become the greatest idol in the world!

So, keep cheering me on until your hearts give out♡!

Comment♡Nozomi
Wow, I can just imagine homeroom teacher's surprise and the vice principal's elegance. That's Nico-nii for you ♪
She can say whatever comes to mind and it cheers me right up ♡
Being an idol is a fine goal in life.
It's every girl's dream, after all ♪
But won't this draw attention to μ's?
Giggle ☆ Elicchi's gonna get angry ♪
Alright, maybe for my next conference, I should take a page from Nico-nii's book and go, "I am going to be an idol"?
A shrine priestess or fortune teller wouldn't be bad, either ♡