F O U R
an asteroid: a small rocky body in space.

dedicated to twenty_nine_

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COLE DIDN'T TURN up to school the next day. Before, I had rarely taken notice of the good-looking nineteen year with black aviator sunglasses, and leather jacket with the rose painted on the back, but it was difficult to pry his existence from my mind. With every passing face as I walked through the cramped school corridors, I hoped to spot his shock of ebony hair; the chime of his perfect accent.

But he didn't show. Cole had never been in any of my classes, but he made his presence known when he was in school. Shouting in the corridors, and standing on the canteen tables at lunch to make announcements were just a fraction of the agenda. He was loud, disruptive, and freakishly handsome. He was exactly the kind of guy girls tried to avoid. The guy I should never fall for. A fuckboy. A bad boy.

I shook my head in a bid to dissipate my thoughts. The events of Saturday night were vivid in my mind like red against a monotone backdrop. It was like I had been seeing in shades of grey for my entire life, and Cole had finally shown me colour. He had painted the city lights red and blue: the midnight sky a luxurious indigo.

"Someone looks lovestruck," Kaya commented as I finally reached our table. It was outside, and away from the crowds swarming the canteen. Tucked behind a corner of the redbrick school otherwise known as Ash Hill Preparatory, it was the perfect place to be avoided. "You need to tell me everything, Blake."

I bit my lip, placing my blue Kanken rucksack on the splintering table. Kaya reached forward eagerly, the bags under her eyes concealed by makeup. "Nothing happened," I stated, but my cheeks flushed red as a consequence.

"Bull shit," Kaya retorted. "You were the one who helped him wreck Ana's home, weren't you?"

Hiding the smile from my face was impossible. "There might be a slight, ninety-nine-point-nine percent chance that I did."

Kaya's mouth was agape with shock. She pushed her elbow painfully into my upper arm. "You're so dead," she leaned in closer, the breath leaving her mouth tickling my ear. "Bet it was worth it." She sniggered. "And what else happened? There must be more."

I bit my lip. To Kaya, I had always been someone who simply watched life from the side-lines. Of course, my life was vaguely more interesting than the average teenager's, but I had never done anything more than get a Saturday detention for swearing at a teacher.

"Oh my God, Cassie!" She shook my shoulder energetically. I inwardly stiffened at the nickname which was reserved for only my mother and best friend. "What happened?"

I tapped my finger to the side of my nose and smiled.

Kaya narrowed her perfect eyes. "Come on, you cannot not, not not tell me."

"That made no sense."

"Err, yes it did. And I'm going to keep annoying you until you tell me everything."

And so, I cracked open my heart and spilt the events of Saturday night like a torrent of water flowing down a riverbed after the dry season. Kaya's face was a mask of delight and shock woven into an intricate masterpiece throughout my uneventful tale. Somewhere between the ice cream and the rooftop, she had reached out to clutch my hands. By the end of the conversation, her knuckles had transformed to a ghostly white.

"And what?" Kaya pressed for more as I finished. "He just dropped you home?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Yeah. And I'll probably never talk to him again."

"Course you will," Kaya sighed, gazing into the horizon as she fixed the strap of her top. She was wearing her usual attire: a white top with a cactus imprinted on the front; brown doc martins; ripped indigo jeans; and a pair of sunglasses to mask the hurt woven into her eyes. "You don't not talk after something like that. You have his snapchat, right?"

I fisted my hands and sighed. I felt a strange attachment to Cole. It was a connection I couldn't etch out of my head. It was like when you felt that you've known someone their whole life within seconds of meeting them – like looking in a mirror. And I had never had that feeling before.

"What does it matter?" I moaned.

Kaya's silver hair stuck to her painted lips as she spoke. "It matters because you quite obviously like him."

I rolled my eyes as a response, and buried my head in my hands to hide the emotions plaguing my features. "No I don't!" I half-shouted.

"It's so obvious, Nova," Kaya said. She blew on her perfectly painted nails. "But, and I don't want to be the one to tell you, but he's not the kind of guy you should be liking. You're so different."

I couldn't find the energy to argue that this was different. I had spoken to other guys, and Cole wasn't quite the same as your typical jerk. "I know, I know. Which is why I'll just pretend it never happened."

Kaya shot me a sympathetic smile. "Just see what happens. I wanna warn you though, I've been with a lot of dicks."

I nodded with a smile. "I second that."

"Hey!" She groaned. "You're not meant to back me up on that!"

My eyes fluttered a wink at my best friend. Today was a good day, and so far we had managed to steer clear of the heart-breaking topic of her dad. I opened my mouth agape to speak, but closed it as soon as I saw the others approaching our retreat, lunch in hands.

We were a mismatched bunch – we didn't stand out enough to be misfits, nor did we blend in enough to be normal. The majority had been Kaya's friends before I had gotten to know her, but slowly I had merged my way into their lives.

"Hey ma sexies," Emma beamed as she energetically sat on the bench across from me. Blue eyeliner adorned her perfectly sculptured eyelids, and stood out against her tanned skin. Her usual thick black curls had been scraped into a pair of Dutch braids.

The two boys behind her – Ryan and Max – were quick to sit down beside each other, already locked deep in conversation with one another.

"Hey," Kaya replied, and reached forward to hug the half-Brazilian girl across the table awkwardly before launching into conversation.

The chatter didn't concern me, and the topic was on something I deeply hated – politics. My eyes fell to my phone and the blank screen reflecting my face, accompanied by eyebags from my lack of sleep.

Warily, I unlocked the home screen and swiped snapchat open. My thumb hovered over Cole's name, wondering whether I should talk to him, but the thought only made my stomach flutter. I had no idea what to say.

Nova: heya why weren't you in today?

I sent the message before I could hesitate, and waited anxiously for a response.

THE DAY PASSED quickly, the sun scraping at the horizon as it vanished below the surface of the skyline. I had left the prison of Ash Hill early to pick up a prescription for my mum's painkillers, and had hurried home soon after without bothering to return for a lesson of Maths followed by Chemistry. It had been yet another uneventful day, with Max and Charlie having disappeared half way through lunch to spend some time together to celebrate their three months.

I sat on my light blue bed sheets, contemplating whether to have ben and jerry's cookie dough or chocolate fudge brownie ice cream when a message appeared on my lock screen. My breath hitched as I unlocked my phone and opened the text.

Cole: Hey

You don't talk to me for a whole day and all you can say is hey? I typed as quickly as my heart was pounding. It felt like it was going to burst out of my chest.

Yeah. Hey.

Ffs you still haven't answered my question, Nicola

I was ill

'ill' or throwing up in the toilet ill?

Fucks sake Casa you're not my mum 😂

Might as well be get your arse over here Colloway

Id rather not hoe 😂

Thats rude. Don't know about u but I actually enjoyed Saturday

Actually?

Yh I thought you were a dickhead before. still do tbh 😂

Fair 😂

You were meant to be offended by that

Ok then. I'm deeply offended.

But seriously why weren't you in?? I would say I missed you but that would be a lie

It's hard to explain but tbh I didn't feel like coming in

You can talk to me if you want

It's fine I won't burden you x

You wouldn't be burdening me. I've listened to too many shit stories in my life, trust me

Thanks, but it's fine Cas don't worry about me x

I do worry k? you need someone to be there for you x

Don't worry I'm fine. Anyway gtg to sleep speak later? xx

My heart sank. Did he not want to talk, despite the connection we had felt two nights before? Moreover, had I been the only one to feel it?

Yeah. Night xx

I felt like all of the oxygen had been pushed out of my lungs. I couldn't breathe. My mind exploded into an array of questions, of which none I knew the answer to. Cole's handsome face flashed against my eyelids each time I blinked, the whirr of the motorbike engine spiking through my muscles. Refusing to let the tears surface, I dug my head into my pillow and fastened my eyes shut.

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guys i'm trying to do a double update (whoop!!) so hopefully chapter five will be up tonight as well ;)

why does everyone think my bby cole is being mysterious?

hope you all enjoyed, and infinite hugs from me for supporting this very weird and badly written book <33 we're already halfway through!

lotte xxx