Becky's POV

One week later

I've been thinking about whether or not to keep the baby all week. Michael's been trying to help me decide whether I should or not, and so have my parents.

I told them about the cancer the day after I found out myself, and it doesn't take a genius to work out that they were shocked by it. They've been doing everything they can to cheer me up and make me happier since they found out.

As for Jasper and Charlie, they were told a few hours after mom and dad. They understood why Michael was in such a rush to get home when he was collecting Jason, Ollie and Miracle last week, and they too have been trying to make me happier.

But the baby ... what am I meant to do? My mind has been swapping and changing between both possibilities all week; I keep changing which option I want to take. One minute, the idea of aborting the baby seems the wisest, the next I'm crying my eyes out at the thought of losing it. This is so hard.

But I have to make the decision soon ... very soon. Honestly, I don't think I'll be able to make it alone. Michael will probably end up deciding for me at this rate.

Right now, Michael's out grocery shopping. He didn't want to go originally, as he wanted to stay here with me, but I insisted that he go so that we didn't go hungry. That's the only reason he's gone now.

Jason, Ollie and Miracle are at mom and dad's house, as they offered to look after the children so I could get some alone time; some peace and quiet so I can think about the baby thing. Having such large silence is actually helpful to me, if I'm being honest.

But I kind of feel lonely ... I need a friend to keep me company.

Or ... friends, as a plural.

My arm reaches out for the telephone, and I dial Jasper's number. It rings a couple times, before I hear his voice down the other end of the line.

"Becky, darling ... what's up?" he asks sincerely.

Since he's found out about my cancer, he's not been the same hyper person he was. You probably remember how excitable and bubbly he was, right? Not any more. He's like Charlie now; more sensible and calm. It's sad.

"Jasper ... can you and Charlie come over here?" I request. "I'm kinda lonely right now, and I want my two best friends here with me ... "

"Of course we'll come over, babe. Give us a few minutes, alright?"

"Okay, thank you. Love you, Jasp."

"Love you too, girl. Bye."

"Bye."

I hang up, placing the phone down gently on the coffee table. They'll be here in a few minutes, so finally, I won't be so lonely.

--

About ten minutes later, the doorbell rings, and a small feeling of happiness comes over me at the idea that my two best friends are finally here. I get up from my chair, almost skipping to the door from excitement, before opening the door to see Jasper and Charlie.

"Guys!" I smile, letting them both bring me into their embraces, "I really needed you today ... "

"Hey Becky," Charlie greets me softly, "How are you keeping?"

His expression is serious, but has an inviting quality about it, which makes me feel more comfortable.

"Well ... it's not been easy," I admit, "But right at this second? I guess I'm not too bad ... you?"

"We're okay," Jasper answers. "Just been thinking about you, babe."

My smile melts away slightly, turning into a sympathetic one, before my arms coil around Jasper's neck to give him a hug by himself, rather than a group hug. He wraps his arms around my waist, and a sense of reassurance instantly fills my heart.

I've been needing a hug from my best friend for ... forever.

"I'm always here for you Becky ... never forget that," he whispers into my ear. Before he pulls away from our hug, he kisses my cheek, and as we let go of one another, his eyes lock onto mine. "You're my best friend, and nothing will change that, ever."

"Same here," Charlie adds. "We're never leaving your side; especially now, girl."

"Thank you guys ... " is all I can really reply with.

"Where are the kids, anyway?" Charlie asks.

"Oh," I give a faint smile, "They're at mom and dad's. They wanted to look after them so I could have some alone time, but ... I didn't like the loneliness. You don't mind being here, do y—?"

"No!" Charlie gasps. "We don't mind at all, Becky. We've been wanting to see you since last week, anyway ... "

"Because you know I've got can—"

"Right, let's go to the living room, shall we?" Jasper starts, obviously wanting to avoid hearing me say the words I was about to say.

We all enter the living room, and I head over to the sofa, letting myself drop down onto it. Jasper and Charlie follow, sitting either side of me. They both take one of my hands each.

"So ... " Jasper begins, "Have you decided about the baby, yet?" His eyes are showing true sadness; he genuinely feels sorry for me.

My eyes avert downwards at the floor, "No ... I can't decide," I start, tears forming in my eyes, "I don't think I'll ever be able to decide on it," my voice begins to increase in volume with every word I speak, until it grows weaker all of a sudden, "Jasper, Charlie?" my voice gives out.

They both nod, indicating for me to speak further. Lifting my head to look at them both, a tear rolls down each of my cheeks, and I already feel a headache brewing.

"I-It's only been a week ... and I already can't take it ... " my weak voice lets out hopelessly.

At this, the looks on Jasper and Charlie's faces gives away that their hearts are breaking for me. To be honest, I don't blame them; I would react the same if one of them said those words to me, with such a broken voice.

They don't speak at all, though; instead they just embrace me even tighter than before, seemingly never wanting to let go of me.

"Help me ... " I plead softly.

They both pull away from me, confused expressions on their faces, so I explain further to give them a hint.

"I mean ... help me decide about the baby ... please ... " I continue. "Cos I can't do it by myself, guys ... "

Jasper uses his thumb to lightly rub my hand, which is currently in his. Charlie is doing the same to the other hand, and they're both looking at me still.

"Well," Charlie begins, "We can never really understand what it's like for you, Becky; we're not in your situation," he looks to Jasper for some guidance in what to say.

"Charlie's right," Jasper picks up where Charlie left off, "We can't fully judge what this is like for you, babe ... but we can give our opinions, if that's what you want."

"Please?" My tone becomes desperate quickly.

Jasper exhales through his nose, "Well ... I don't want to lose my best friend to ... this, and neither does Charlie. We both care for you, Becky, and we both love you. Losing you would kill us both ... " he clears his throat to avoid crying, "So ... if aborting the baby is what it takes to keep my best friend, then so be it. Right, Charlie?"

Charlie nods slowly, "As much as I hate the idea of abortion, Jasper's right. We really can't bear the thought of losing you ... so if you honestly want our input, then ... we would say abort the baby, darling ... " he speaks guiltily.

"But at the end of the day, it's your choice," Jasper reminds me, "And you can make whichever decision you would like to make about it."

Their opinions are making me think, now. They really want me to stay alive, so they're saying I should abort the baby ... but the question is, could I? It would mentally kill me, losing another child ...

"I don't know ... " I cry, "I really don't know! ... " My crying grows uncontrollable, so much so, the boys have to embrace me again to calm me down. This is such a painful ordeal; both physically and mentally. Why do I have to go through this?

"Shh ... babe, calm down ... we're here for you Becky ... " Jasper comforts me.

All I can do is lean my head against his chest. My mind is full of thoughts and feelings and ... God knows what else. I can barely even think straight.

"Charlie?" I find myself calling his name.

"Yeah?" he imitates my tone of voice.

"Could you get me a paper and a pen, please?"

He nods, getting up from the chair, "Sure; hold on a second." He heads out the living room, leaving me and Jasper here. It remains silent until Charlie comes back with the pen and paper, "Here you go Becky."

I take them from him, forcing a smile, "Thanks Charlie."

"What are you gonna do with it?" Jasper asks.

I remove the lid from the pen, testing the ink by scribbling against the corner of the paper. Seeing that it works, I rip the little corner of the paper off, and begin writing. The reason I'm going to do this, is to motivate myself and Michael.

I am a fighter

I will win this thing

Nothing will stop me

I can do this

The Extreme Fever and love we have will keep me strong

I am forever

But if I'm not forever ...

Michael, Miracle, Jason, Ollie, Jasper, Charlie, mom, dad ...

I'm forever in your hearts ...

I'm never too far away ...

If you just close your eyes and remember me

Believe

Look into your heart

It's there that you'll find the cure

Love you always ...

Becky S xx

After finishing my little note, I replace the lid back on the pen, and fold the paper into four. Jasper and Charlie look at me with puzzled looks, but I can tell they don't want to question what I just did.

"You're wondering what I just wrote, aren't you?" I assert.

"Maybe ... we're just curious, that's all," Charlie replies.

"Yeah ... a little," Jasper adds.

"It's nothing, really," I begin to unfold the paper so I can show them, "I just wrote a little note. It's for Michael, but I mentioned everyone that matters to me in it, too."

Jasper takes a hold of the paper, and I watch as his eyes scan the writing on it. He hands the paper to Charlie, so that he can read it.

"Aww," Jasper coos after he's handed it to Charlie, "That's real cute, babe."

"Thanks," I smile, just as Charlie finishes reading it.

He gives me a sympathetic smile, "That's lovely, Becky. Really nice."

"Thank you ... " I mutter, rubbing my hand against the elbow on my other arm. "It's just to motivate us all a little, I guess."

"Well ... you seem positive in the writing," Charlie says, "But in real life, I can see you're trying hard not to break ... which is why we're here for you."

"I-I'm fine ... " I lie, "And anyway ... I don't want to show the note to Michael yet. It has to be the right time first. I'll know when it's the right time."

The boys nod, understanding my wish. Jasper takes the note once more, and averts his eyes over the words once more. He then stops, and furrows his eyebrows a little at a certain part of the note.

"Becky ... " he starts.

"Yeah?" I answer.

He turns the sheet of paper around so I can see it, and points at the section with everyone's names on.

"I just read this part again, and it says "Michael, Miracle, Jason, Ollie, Jasper, Charlie, mom, dad ... " but ... I have a question."

"Yes?" I press politely, my voice a little weak.

"You didn't mention the baby you're carrying ... " he begins. "Why didn—" A thought obviously comes to his head, and he widens his eyes and looks at me, "You're—?"

"I've decided," I announce. "I don't want to risk my life, and no one else wants me to die, either ... "

Just then, the front door opens, and a soaking wet Michael walks through the door. It must have been raining outside. He does look hot, though ...

"Hey sweetheart," he greets. "Jasper, Charlie."

The boys nod in greeting, and I wave a little. Michael needs to know about my decision as well, as it's his child too.

"Michael, listen ... " I walk over to him, taking the grocery bags from his hands and setting them down on the floor, "I've decided about the baby ... "

He fights himself not to widen his eyes in anticipation, "You decided for real?" he questions.

I nod, taking his hands in mine, "Yes ... I've decided, Michael."

He gives me an unsteady smile, "Well ... just know that whatever decision you've made, I'll support you sweetheart."

I exhale loudly, a little scared about telling him, despite what he's just said. There's a small sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Okay ... " I turn to Jasper and Charlie, "Can we just—?"

"Of course," Jasper answers, leading Charlie out of the room so me and Michael can have some alone time to talk.

"Well ... " Tears begin to form in my eyes, which Michael dries with his fingers lovingly.

"What have you decided, Becky?" he asks once more.

My gaze shifts upwards, so I look directly into Michael's eyes. After another loud sigh, I tell him.

"Michael ... too many people want me to stay alive, because they care about me. I can understand that ... because they've known me a long time. The baby ... they've never met her or him, so they could never judge how they would feel if he or she was aborted. This decision has ... it's killed me Michael. You know it has ... but ... "

I exhale a shaky breath, resulting in a tight embrace from Michael to comfort me. He knows this has been incredibly hard for us both ... as well as for everyone that knows us.

"Michael ... I'm going to have an abortion ... "

Has Becky made the right decision? I hope you liked this chapter. :)