[Edited: October 21, 2018]

***

"Wings"

Jimin's POV

We weren't supposed to get out of the hospital, but Hoseok somehow managed to convince his boss or something. I have no idea how.

"Why are we here?" I asked as we got inside the city's most famous art museum. It's the first time I came here.

"I have something to show you."

I kept quiet and simply followed him upstairs. The halls are dark up here and the paintings on the walls are really massive.

It took quite a few minutes before we reached the last room at the end of the hall on the third floor. We stopped in front of a huge painting in the corner at the very right end of the room.

Hoseok's smile faded when he finally looked back at me. For the first time, I saw what he's like without that smile on his face. It came as a shock and I starting to get frightened as each second passed by with him looking at me like that, so I turned my attention to the painting in front of us.

"Those are . . ." I did not know what to say. The painting was triggering and I wondered why the hell the person who was supposed to be taking care of me, would take me here just to see this. It didn't make any sense. Not at all.

"My older sister made this." He finally breaks the intolerable silence between us.

"Why would you take me here? What does this have to do with me?" I asked, a little offended that he didn't seem to think this would trigger me.

"You know, Jimin. We both know." He smiled and looks back at the artwork lovingly, like he's simply looking at his sister herself.

But I don't understand.

"She loved to paint her thoughts and emotions. She loved to show the world what it was like to have voices inside her head, to have demons haunting her every night . . . and every day."

"But Hoseok, Iㅡ"

"She also loved art like she loved him. And he was her muse. At the very end, he was still her muse."

I looked at him, trying to read his expression. He was smiling again. He genuinely looked happy this time. He seemed to be rather content and peaceful, but I knew that somewhere deep inside him, he was still sad to talk about her.

I knew because I know how it feels like to lose somebody forever. And I know how it feels like to smile through the pain, just to prevent others from feeling the same.

And now, I know why Hoseok took me here.

"She loved him like she loved art," he repeated.

"I'm sorry." I finally managed to choke the words out. Hoseok simply patted my back, the smile never leaving his face.

"Don't worry, I'm fine. It's been years now and her art never leaves this place. This was the second last art she's ever made . . . before she had her masterpiece."

"Was the last . . . ?"

"Yes, it was for him, the man that she loved. She wrote a message for him on the floor of where they first met: at the rooftop of their school. It said, 'I love you. I'm sorry. Thank you.' Then she painted a knife wrapped in thorns with a rose on the tip of it."

"Then she . . . " I stopped, not wanting to say the words myself.

"She jumped." Hoseok chuckled bitterly at my attempt to pretend I didn't even know it yet.

"I think we both know that already."

"I'm really sorry."

"Jimin, I told you. It's fine."

"But why did you take me here?"

"You know about that too." He startedto walk away and I follow him.

"I have to be sure," I muttered to myself, but he heard.

"Why, Jimin?" He stopped walking and looked back at me. "Why do you have to be sure?"

"'Cause I . . ." I paused, completely taken aback by his question. I really had no idea what to say. ". . . I-I don't know."

"Yes, you do, Jimin. You know. And you don't have to hide if from me." He completely turned around to face me.

"Imagine if everyone in the world just said what they really meant. Imagine if we never left anyone hanging just because we thought it was no use telling them, because they already knew. And imagine if she had just told him how she felt even though she knew he already knew it, too. Would he have loved her back? Would she have jumped? Would she have given up?"

"I don't understand. If he knew, why didn't he stop her?"

"He didn't know what she was going to do. But he knew she loved him. Yet he was married. He loved another woman. But he also loved my sister." He turned around to face me and off he smiled again. "Just never enough."

***

"She loved him and he loved her back
But it was never that easy
She said she was fine, but it was all an act
He never did see

But someone else who loved her
With all his heart
Have tried to make it better
To prevent her from falling apart

Yet she ran away and left
She thought she didn't need his help
Things became worse and no one seemed to care
She tried to get out of her head
But instead,
She left her wings there"

I sighed, closing my notebook and putting it back in my drawer. I laid down on my bed and stared blankly at the ceiling.

I understood why Hoseok took me there. He doesn't want me to give up. He wants me to open up to him and trust him. He wants to help me like he couldn't help his sister.

But I don't know how to do that.

I don't know how to open up to people other than Jungkook.

I don't think I can explain the things going on inside my head because I don't even understand them myself.