[Edited: November 11, 2018]

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[A/N: eight exams in a row and i feel dead. anyway, sorry for the late updates. though on this one, you finally get what y'all want ;)]

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"Feel"

Author's POV

Jimin wasn't expecting Jungkook to push him and pin him to the wall as soon as Jimin finished taking a shower. He sure as hell did not expect to be given a rough kiss and palmed through his jeans and feel the younger's breath in his ears as he whispered dirty, little things.

"Hard for me already, Jimin-hyung? Hm? What do you want, hyung? Tell me what you want. Fucking beg for it."

Jimin couldn't help the lewd sounds from coming out of his mouth. His breath getting heavier and heavier by the second. Jolts of excitement flowing through his veins as the younger hurriedly opened his belt and pulled his cock out, pumped it like it's exactly what he lives for. Jimin shut his eyes, completely taken away by the moment.

Curses of pleasure were thrown here and there.

"Look, look at me, hyung. Look at me." Dominance like venom spilling out of Jungkook's tongue, voice rough and heavy, making Jimin shiver and his dick perk up. And his eyes, oh, his doe eyes were long gone. They were replaced by dark pools of lust.

"Fuck," the younger cursed. "You're so beautiful like this, hyung. So wrecked. Such a slut."

And Jimin doesn't know what happened after that. Well, he does, but not how. It all just happened so fast. Next thing he knew, they're already on their bed, Jungkook hovering over him rubbing their clothed and non-clothed cocks against each other. The next, Jungkook was taking off all of their clothes and putting three fingers up his ass and frick, it hurt.

It hurt. And Jimin hated it.
But he wasn't going to say that.

Jungkook was smiling right at him. With that angelic smile, Jimin swore Jungkook could buy anything in the world. And if that was the case, Jimin's at a cheap price.

Jungkook pumped their dicks together in his one hand, having a little difficulty because of how big his own is, not being able to fit in one hand, plus Jimin's. So the older held his hand around his man's as they pumped their dicks together.

Jungkook kissed Jimin, bit his lower lip and chewed on it, making it bleed. Then he let go of their dicks, earning a loud groan from the elder. Jungkook chuckled and positioned his cock right in front of Jimin's hole.

He rammed into him without saying anything, without any preparation, earning a yelp from Jimin.

"Fuck! Shit, Jungkook!"

And it was like Jungkook heard nothing, he simply started moving. It was an inhumane pace, Jimin swore he could feel himself being ripped into pieces.

He hated it.

"Jungkook, please . . . P-Please st-stop."

He hated it.

"It hurts." But no matter how much he begged and tried to get away, Jungkook gripped him tight in his arms, keeping him in place.

Continuing to fuck him senselessly.

Jimin hoped he was going to feel pleasure soon, and that's funny, because he never really experienced pleasure in doing that ever in his life before, but as far as he knows, it gets better. He's heard that it gets better and it only hurts at the start.

But it didn't.

The pain didn't fade away.
It swallowed Jimin whole.

The more Jungkook fucked him raw, the more Jungkook forced himself into him, the more Jimin could feel his eyes burning and before he even knew it, he was already crying.

Only then did the younger pull out, seeing blood everywhere on the bed.

Only then did Jimin realize what he had to do.

He had to wake up.

***

"Jimin! Jiminnie! Babe!" Jungkook shook his man laying beside him, crying in his sleep.

"Jiminnie, please! Wake up!"

When Jimin opened his eyes, he expected to be afraid of Jungkook, but he wasn't. For some reason, he felt safer. Because this is the Jungkook he knows, the real Jungkook. This isn't the man haunting him in his dreams. That Jungkook in his nightmares isn't even Jungkook at all.

It's his father.

And he knows it very well.

"Hyung! Hyung, are you okay?"

Jimin shook his head, finally being honest for the first time to that question. "Please help me . . ."

"Shit, what are you talking about, Jiminnie?" Worry evident in Jungkook tone as he unconsciously tightened his grip in Jimin's arms.

"Please help me . . ." Jimin's voice cracked, but he continued chanting the same phrase again and again.

Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, but held his hyung tight, never letting go of him.

"Hyung . . . shhh," Jungkook stroked Jimin's hair slowly and wiped his tears away. Just like he always did. And it always felt the same. It always made Jimin better.

His voice, his touch, his presence, his everything. He's everything to Park Jimin.

"I'll do anything for you, hyung. Tell me . . ." Jungkook was desperate to make his man happy, it's all he's ever wanted anyway. He didn't care about his pride anymore. In love, there is never space left for pride. There is never room for yourself.

"L-Love me." Jimin has never felt and sounded so desperate in his life before either.

Cheeks flushing red and breath caught in his throat, Jungkook said, "You know we can't, hyung. Y-You're not ready."

"That's the thing, Jungkook! I'm always thinking I'm not ready and okay, maybe I am not. But how will I be ready if I never try?"

"Jimin, we tried this befoㅡ"

"ㅡThat's different! We It was the first time!"

"That doesn't change the fact that I will only end up hurting you by trying to love you."

"Please, Jungkook! I don't want to beg anymore, but you're all I've got and all I want. So please . . ."

"Why is this so important right now? We're together! Nothing and no one is here. We can be happy without having to riskㅡ"

"ㅡI'm tired of seeing him in my dreams, Jungkook! I'm tired of seeing that everyday. The . . ." Jimin trailed off and silence suddenly filled the room.

"I'm sorry," Jungkook finally said after a few seconds.

"No, no. I should be sorry," Jimin said nervously. "I'm so sorry, I just can't . . . I shouldn't force you to do things like this. I'm sorry."

Jimin hid his face against Jungkook's chest as the latter caressed his hair and sighed.

"I want to love you."

Jimin literally felt his heart beating stop for a second. Though it's so fucking cliché, it's so frickin' real.

"I want to show you how much I love you so frickin' much and show you how much you mean to me. I want you to feel the world beneath your feet. I want you to feel things you were never able to. I want you to hold my heart, tight in your hands, forever. I want you to be mine completely, Park Jimin. But how can I do all that if I know I'll only end up hurting you?"

"You keep saying that, Jungkook, but I know you won't hurt me." Jimin smiled, it was genuine, it was real. Like what he feels for him.

"I've always known that. It's just my fear that kept me in the dark all this time, it's just my fear that held me back. It's more about myself than it is because of you. I know you're not capable of hurting the ones you love."

"We're all capable of hurting the ones we love," Jungkook insisted. "We do it all the time."

It's not that he didn't want to help Jimin, he was just scared he'd end up making everything worse. The fear, that same thing that has kept him in the dark for years. The fear that has kept them both blinded.

"Then, I'm willing to take it." Jimin clutched the younger's shirt and pulled his face closer to his. The feeling of breath against each others' driving both of them insane.

Jimin's eyes are fluttering and he's licking his lips and oh my fucking God, does Jungkook think he's the luckiest man in the world.

"Jimin . . ." Jungkook's at a lost for words. What else is there to say? When the brightness of his smile and the love you see in his eyes are enough to burn the clouds of grey?

"I won't be able to stop myself once Iㅡ"

"I'd rather have you hurt me than anyone else, Jeon Jungkook."

And that's all it took for Jungkook to grab his hyung's nape in his right hand and slam his lips right into his like there's no tomorrow. Because maybe there won't be. Who knows?

It doesn't matter. It never did. As long as they have each other, why would they care about the world ending? The world has given them nothing but pain, nothing but suffering. It's their time to be selfish.

"I love you too much to hurt you, Park Jimin," Jungkook said as he pulled away from the kiss. He started to remove his shirt and his hyung's. He also removed both of their pyjamas and boxers, letting their cocks spring free. The air hitting them, making both of them shudder.

Jungkook's so intoxicated he didn't even give Jimin space right after their clothes have been thrown somewhere in the room. He slammed his lips right into Jimin's, making the other gasp and moan through the kiss.

Jungkook didn't pin Jimin down, he held his hands, intertwining their fingers together. He hovered on top of him and pulled away from the kiss. He simply stared at Jimin, admiring every bit of him. His scars, his skin, his face, his everything. The way he breathes even makes Jungkook lose his own breath . . . his own mind.

"How the fuck does God love me enough to let me have someone like you?" Jungkook looked at Jimin with loving eyes, filled with not only lust but longing. It's like Jimin was there, but he really wasn't. It's like Jungkook was dreaming and he was afraid for it to stop.

"Scratch that." Jungkook chuckled. "There's no one else like you."

Jimin could feel tears sprinkling in his eyes, and he didn't want to cry. Not at a time like this. Not when everything is going great.

His heart is filled with tears of love and fear and he's drowning, but the heat coming from his lover's hand and his presence alone are enough to get him out of it. Enough to save him.

"I'll try to make this something that would help you forget how the other felt the first time." Jungkook smirked, making Jimin chuckle.

'God, how can he be so cute and sexy at the same time? And at a time like this, how can anyone even be cute? Jesus,' Jungkook thought to himself.

Then he saw Jimin blushing hard and trying to look anywhere but him, the smile fading away from his face.

"What's wrong?"

"I-I don't know why . . . I don't know why I'm like that," Jimin mumbled, more to himself than Jungkook.

"You're what?"

It took Jungkook a few seconds before he realized he was thinking out loud . . . Again.

"Oh, shit." Jungkook laughed in embarrassment. "It's like my thoughts and feelings are overflowing all the time I'm with you and I can't seem to keep them to myself."

"It's okay . . ." Jimin gave him a peck on the lips, making the latter's eyes widen and his heart beat faster and louder (if that was even possible).

Jimin then put Jungkook's right hand on his own chest. The younger could feel it beating just as fast as his own. He swore he could almost hear it clear and loud.

"It's okay, Jungkookie. I can't seem to help myself too when I'm around you."

Jungkook crashed his lips into Jimin's once again, moving their hands away from their chests and setting them aside. Their fingers intertwining again, tighter this time like both of them are too afraid to let go. Like both of them are stars crashing into each other, so close to burning. But not even burning or exploding can demonstrate the way they feel for each other.

It went on like that for a couple more minutes, just them kissing, speaking without using any words, but their lips moving in unison.

Yet Jungkook wanted more. He needed to feel Jimin more. It wasn't enough. The latter felt the same anyway.

Jungkook started to grind his hips to the elder's, rubbing their hard cocks to each other. Both of them groaning in unbelievable pleasure from the friction.

"Fuck," Jungkook let go of Jimin's right hand and gripped both of their cocks together, pumping them while staring straight into Jimin's eyes.

"Hyung . . ." Jungkook loved the way Jimin squirmed, so nervous underneath his touch, the fact that he was so wrecked because of him. "Can I . . . ?"

Jimin did not hesitate to nod, "Yes. Fuck, yes, Jungkook." He didn't even know what the other was asking but he didn't care. He just wanted him.

Jungkook let go of his own dick and held Jimin's alone instead. He slowly went down and Jimin cursed under his breath, immediately having an idea what's the younger about to do.

Jimin shut his eyes as soon as he felt the pair of soft, wet lips on his thighs down to his already leaking dick. Jungkook left kisses here and there, gently holding Jimin's dick in his hands, making the older moan endlessly.

"Please, Jungkook. Justㅡ"

He was cut off by Jungkook taking him whole in his mouth. The warm breath and wetness surrounding his bare, hard cock, making him pull on the sheets for dear life.

Jungkook bobbed his head up and down, staring right into Jimin's eyes. The younger's innocent eyes coming back, replacing his dominant lustful eyes. And Jimin knows he's doing it on purpose, and it's goddamn working. It's turning his hyung on even more.

"Fuck, Jungkook," Jimin stared to pull on Jungkook's hair with his right hand. "Oh my God."

Jungkook increased his pace, turning Jimin into a mess of moans and pants. He made sure to lick the head of Jimin's dick before releasing it with a 'pop' and replacing his mouth with his hand.

Jimin sucked air like his lungs was in great need of it. And God, was he beautiful. His red, plump and swollen lips and his eyes almost trickling tears, hiding behind his long eyelashes, just made Jungkook lose complete control.

"Hyung, tell me."

"Huh-Wha-What . . . What?", Jimin was lost in the pleasure, in the moment. He couldn't completely process what was happening.

"Can I love you?"

Jimin released a whimper, feeling his heart clench at Jungkook's words. It wasn't because he didn't want it. Oh, he wanted Jungkook so bad. And that's exactly why it hurt.

It hurt to love him so much.

"Yes, please. Please, Jungkookie."

The younger wasted no time to get out of the bed and fumble through his drawers, looking for lube and a condom.

"No, not that. Just use the lube."

"What?", Jungkook's face flushed deep red. "Y-You want me to . . ."

Jimin nodded, a little flustered to himself. Okay, "little" is an understatement.

Jungkook came back on top of him again, moving fast to put lube all around his dick, but Jimin sat up and stopped him by grabbing his wrist.

"Let me do it."

And the younger hissed as soon as the cold substance hit his bare cock and Jimin's fingers wrapped around it perfectly.

"Agh, shit. Hyung!"

Pre-cum already squirting out of the younger's cock.

"Shh . . . not yet, Kookie," Jimin gave him a peck on his lips. "I want to feel you inside of me."

'Since when did he get all this horny?' Jungkook chuckled to himself.

"Hyung, I still need to prep you." Jungkook put lube around his three fingers and Jimin simply nodded, wrapping his arms around the younger's neck and pulling him into a deep, heated kiss.

Jungkook played with Jimin's rim at first, until he slowly pushed a finger inside. Jimin pulled out of the kiss with a gasp.

It hurt a little and it reminded Jimin immediately of what had happened in the past. It reminded him of how he felt and fuck he wanted to cry again, to break in front of Jungkook all over again, knowing he'll pick him up every damn time.

But something in the way Jungkook looked at him and smiled at him, reassuring him everything's gonna be okay, he calmed down. Jimin swallowed his fears and let himself drown in Jungkook instead.

The younger added another finger, and then the third. Jimin's trying not to show Jungkook how much it hurt, but the latter kept on kissing him everywhere; his forehead, nose, chin, neck, chest, stomach and thighs. His kisses made everything better, they eased the pain. He made them fade away faster.

And soon, Jimin found himself fucking into Jungkook's fingers, pulling hard on Jungkook's hair and biting his bottom lip through the kiss.

"Jungkook, please . . ." Jimin mewled and screamed as Jungkook hit his spot. "Kookie!"

Jungkook smirked triumphantly as he kept on hitting that spot again and again, loving the sounds Jimin makes.

But Jungkook pulled his fingers out, earning a loud groan from the other.

"Relax. I'll take you there, baby."

He put more lube on his cock, trying his best to make it easier for Jimin. He then wiped away the rebellious strands of hair covering Jimin's sweaty forehead. He wasn't having any of it. He needed to see and feel every part of Jimin. He wanted to see how much he could make Jimin sweat and cry.

Though he had to make sure Jimin was okay with it.

"Hyung, are you truly sure you can do this?"

Jimin nodded a simple 'yes'. Jungkook positioned himself in front of his hyung and he did not have to wait for him to say 'go', because he'd already kissed him.

And Jungkook slowly pushed his cock into Jimin. He was so gentle, holding him by the shoulders and entering him. It was almost as if he thought Jimin of an art that shall never be touched or he will immediately break into pieces.

Jimin whimpered at first, making faces because of the pain.

"Hyung . . ."

Jimin simply nodded and Jungkook went until he's fully inside of Jimin. He caressed the older's left cheek with his hand and brushed the hair that kept coming down his face. He didn't want to move unless Jimin told him to, so he waited. He settled for kissing, biting and sucking everywhere he can on Jimin's tender skin.

"Go," Jimin finally said, making Jungkook look up at him in an instant, staring right into his eyes full of ecstasy.

The younger went in slow at first, but picked up the pace as soon as Jimin's moans became louder, almost turning into screams. Jimin wrapped his arms around Jungkook's neck and watched the way their bodies moved in sync.

"Ah, fuck. Fuck, Jimin."

It took at least a few minutes until Jungkook found Jimin's spot, making the older yelp and grab onto the sheets as hard as he could. Jimin curled his toes and shut his eyes tight, mouth wide open, panting uncontrollably.

"Jungkookie, please . . . ahh . . ."

"Tell me what you want, hyung."

"F-Faster, p-please!"

Jungkook kissed Jimin once again, making sure to leave a mark on his lower lip, letting it bleed even more. Then Jungkook pulled away, so the latter almost sat up to bring his lips into his again, but ended up groaning as he made Jungkook hit his spot easier.

Jungkook smirked devilishly and put his two fingers on Jimin's lips. But just as he was starting to truly feel the dominance he has over his man, Jimin suddenly opens his mouth, sucking on Jungkook's fingers.

Jungkook could feel the warm and moist feeling of Jimin's tongue, coating his fingers with saliva. And fuck, Jimin looked at him with those innocent eyes, just like he did to him earlier. He was punishing Jungkook, and the younger was sure of it. Jimin was letting him have a taste of his own medicine.

This only made Jungkook thrust harder and faster, Jimin pulling on Jungkook's hair while his other hand scratched into the maknae's back.

The heat and pain from Jimin's scratches made Jungkook curse under his breath, but he loved it. Oh, he did.

When Jungkook pulled his fingers out of Jimin's mouth to give the latter some time to breathe easier, Jimin grabbed his wrist and licked his fingers right in front of him, savouring every bit of his own saliva.

"Oh my God," Jungkook couldn't help the words from coming out of his mouth, not that it really even mattered anymore.

He thrusted harder and wrapped his fingers around Jimin's cock, playing with the tip of the head leaking with cum.

"J-Jungkook . . . I'mㅡ"

"You're what, hyung? Tell me," Jungkook picked up his pace and jerked Jimin off as fast as he could.

"I'm cumming, Jungkookie!"

"Cum for me, hyung."

And so he did, covering Jungkook's back in scratches, making the latter groan. Jimin's eyes rolling at the back of his head, his breathing unsteady. The sticky substance squirting all over their chests. And it still wasn't enough, not for Jungkook.

As Jimin rode his high, Jungkook wiped his cum on Jimin's chest with his fingers and licked it right in front of him. And he wouldn't stop fucking into Jimin as he himself hasn't cummed yet.

Jimin's eyes fluttered, his cheeks covered in red tint due to embarrassment and pleasure, his eyes dark and filled with tears. His and Jungkook's saliva mixed together, rolling down his chin. And his pants, oh, the sounds he makes are just enough to make Jungkook cum.

And Jimin was simply so amazing. Even when he was already exhausted, he still found the strength to turn themselves upside-down. Jimin sat on Jungkook's lap, riding his dick. The younger's eyes widened in surprise, but immediately shut his eyes as he felt he was about to cum. He grabbed Jimin's ass tightly, making his hyung moan even louder.

Jungkook came squirting all his juices right inside Jimin.

"Oh my God, Jungkook!", Jimin literally screamed as he felt the warm and sticky substance fill him up.

And he swore he never thought heaven would feel that good.

***

i'm laughing so hard guys i'm so bad at writing romantic smut

3 fucking thousand 8 hundred words lmao

i'm more into the kinky, cross-dressing, bdsm and all that fucked-up shit i'm so sorry haha

tell me if i made any mistakes, luvs

I DID NOT EDIT THIS so whoops