𝗔𝗖𝗧 𝗜𝗜𝗜 ━━ 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗛 𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘
124. until the very end

BRIDGET HOUSE
october, 1981

          𝗦𝗛𝗘 𝗧𝗢𝗟𝗗 𝗛𝗜𝗠

      From start to finish, she told him everything. For the first time ever, Scarlet refused to hide anything from him.

      All that Sirius needed to know about where Scarlet's doomed fate laid. She feared his brain might explode, and it almost did, for that matter.

      He sat there on the couch with his head in his hands, listening to the information about the prophecy and Voldemort finding out about Scarlet's betrayal, his body sunk into the cushions. This was real.

      Time was ticking.

      Harry's prophecy was real.

      Scarlet's prophecy was real.

      Only, it was their source of information that differed. Scarlet found out from a Lorelei Lantsov the pair went to school with and not from Dumbledore. Perhaps, Sirius could choose not to believe it. This could not be more insane. However, all the information clicked together, like a jigsaw puzzle.

      The ring that can deflect dark magic sitting on his ring finger, the book Scarlet was holding as she explained her theoretical experiments she has been conducting with Severus Snape of all people, her family's direct connection to the Gaunts and Salazar Slytherin.

      She has been practising dangerous, ancient dark magic right under his nose but he did not have the energy to be mad at her anymore for her risky measures.

      He sat there, nodding through everything she was piecing and uttering, watching her figure pace in front of him, heeled shoes clicking in rhythm that would otherwise be soothing to him.

      Sirius swore the entire fucking sky fell on him, all the stars shooting towards his head and dismantling his life, one he was finally able to keep under his control.

      Suddenly, everything fell apart.

"This is all too much," he said, his voice low.

"You don't have to go to the Order mission," Scarlet said, turning her head to look at him. He looked back at her with a sort of sad expression — sympathetic that she had to go through all of that. "You can stay with me, we could be together for today."

      He did not say anything as she suggested her ideas.

      She stared at the floor. Her head wasn't pounding as much as last night but her stomach was twisting. This all gets better, it gets better... except, she would never be. Not until Voldemort falls.

      Somehow she didn't feel like screaming or yelling about how outrageous it all was. It was all just too much. She was overwhelmed.

"Look, Sirius," she looked down again, somehow feeling the words getting caught in her throat. Scarlet Bridget does not stammer.

      Sirius only looked at her in depth, watching her shiver, nervous glint in her eyes. She had a look on her face that she never had before. Ever.

"I just..." she stammered again, feeling her throat wither, "we will persevere, right?"

      She was confused at the tone of her own voice— weak and quiet. She has been neglecting the momentum of this situation since yesterday, treating it as an obstacle on her path that she can get rid of using magic and calculated missions and intelligence. Except, this was not a bump, it was an entire goddamn brick wall that nobody could break down. She was not weak, not at all. She just couldn't help it.

"This entire prophecy is a shitshow, and everything I thought I had under control just got demolished in a second and now the only thing I was useful for— assisting and spying for the Order— I don't have that jurisdiction anymore," she was still staring at the ground, half of her body still in frozen shock and the other completely bewildered with scales of fear. "I don't know what to do, I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Blondie." Sirius stood up, voice soft.

"What am I going to do, Sirius?" She asked him, eyes wide in full of anxiety. Her hands were shaking and tiny tears formed in her eyes.

"Hey, hey, hey," he approached her, cutting through her rambles of fear and anxiousness and looking at her with an astounding amount of concern. "It's okay, you're okay... I'm here."

      Sirius—in response to her question—extended his arms, wrapping them around her waist.

      There was something in the way he embraced her.

      Suddenly, they were young again.

      He pulled her body close to his by a tight grip on her waist, her head was touching just below his chin. There were small sobs that she let out, just crying.

      She has maintained composure the entire day yesterday, except, there was no Sirius yesterday either. But he was there now, and Scarlet had somebody who cares for her, someone who understands.

      Something about the prophecy was bubbling and withering, causing this rush of wild emotions from a girl who so-hated feelings to begin with. Something about the sheer realisation that she was the target of the very man who started this filthy, brutal war.

      Scarlet pulled away, feeling his thumb brushing her tear-stained cheeks.

"I'm so sorry that I dragged you into the middle of it," she apologised genuinely, "if Voldemort never knew about us, you would never be in danger— and Eve, oh Salazar... Eve."

"He knows about us?" He gaped.

"I'm sorry I put you in tremendous danger."

"I always wanted people to know about us," Sirius shared quietly, dismissing her concerns"I'm aware this secretive thing was for the best, the fewer people that know, the less danger I'll be in but I don't need protection anymore... I don't want to keep our love a secret."

"I did not realise this was such a big deal to you,"

Sirius' shoulders slumped, a frown playing at his lips, "Of course, it was, Blondie. Everybody else was holding hands out in the public, not ashamed—"

"Ashamed?"

"Well, you would be ashamed to present me to your family, would you not?" Sirius arched a brow, not angry but a little upset, that sadness that always crept in his heart all these years and he thought about letting it out finally, "a blood traitor and a Bridget heiress... I'm sorry I couldn't be something you could have shown off to the world."

"You are my world," she blurted out, eyes widening, "this is more complex than mere shame, darling..." she stepped forward, and took his hands in hers, playing with the black-stone ring on his finger, "the Malfoys wouldn't abandon me for marrying you, they're not like that— I just..."

"Had a reputation to maintain?" Sirius softly inquired, nodding with understanding, "I understand. It's very important to you, and you have to make sure that they know you're totally on their side."

"Yeah," she shrugged in response, "exactly that."

      For the first time in her life, she finally felt seen and understood.

      All these months that passed recently, Scarlet thought Sirius could never love her as purely as he did when he was chasing her all those years ago. They would never be as young and blithe as they were back in fifth and sixth years. They would never be in that particular time ever again.

      Back when the two of them would find themselves in strings of house rivalry and resentment and fake-dating pranks and mislaid flirting and sweet, oath-filled promises, back when they would play dumb but they knew exactly what they were doing.

      However, even now that they are older and far more complex and prudent with their perspectives and actions, the love was still pure.

"Rita Skeeter would make quite some galleons with a story like ours," he winked at her, "Golden Boy and the Silver Princess."

Scarlet laughed, "who are you calling Golden Boy... yourself?"

"I totally am, I always have been ever since Hogwarts." He ran a hand through his hair, a mesmerising, flirty glint in his eyes.

"Uh... I'd argue it's Potter." She gave him a pointed look, red lips tugging up.

"Ouch," his face fell, hand clutching his chest, "you wound me, Blondie."

      She was about to turn on her heels when he wrapped one arm around her waist, swiftly making her face him and pulling her closer, the other hand found the back of her neck to allow him to press his lips against hers. He took her bottom lip into his mouth, savouring every last taste of her.

      It had always been them two against the entire world.

      They would always fight their way out together.

ORDER'S LAIR
october, 1981

      Black and Bridget were the first to be at the Order's lair, followed by the Potters who insisted on being there for moral support despite Scarlet's protests.

"Scarlet, the protective charms around our house are quite literally made of your blood, there is no way we would not be here for you in times of trouble." Lily Potter assured, eyes wide and concerned in every part of her expression. Dorcas was in the other room, playing with and taking care of Harry.

"This isn't just any trouble, it's You-Know-Bloody-Who that will actively try to murder me," Scarlet said, "and Harry's got the same target on his back, you do not need to unnecessarily worry about me."

"We are your friends, and I always worry about you," Lily raised a brow because she knew. "This is real, this is crucial and if we cannot assist you in getting yourself out of this mess then we're not good friends."

"She's right, Blondie, we're all here for you." Sirius squeezed her hand.

"Mind if I smoke?" Scarlet dryly asked, and Lily gestured for her to go ahead.

James finally spoke up, "how did you find out what the prophecy said, if you don't mind me asking."

"A reliable person."

"Perhaps, the information was not legitimate," James offered, earning rolls of eyes from the other three, he threw his hands up in defence, exclaiming, "you cannot just trust anyone!"

"I'm telling you, it came from a valid source." She bit back, patience wearing thin.

"And...?"

"Potter, don't bother me."

"I mean... it could be fake, it could be a trap."

"It came from Lori Lantsov," Scarlet spat bitterly, shooting Potter the sternest glare ever as she cocked her head sideways, "believe me now?"

Potter's face went pale, and a shaky inhale of air overtook his lungs. He nodded slyly, biting the insides of his cheeks and receiving an odd look from his wife. "Right, yeah."

      Silence accumulated in the room, and it was demeaning. Scarlet felt increasingly anxious and equally regretful to blurt out such an insensitive topic without consideration, especially after James had left the safety of his home to support her.

"Sorry," she whispered, eyes softening. Her voice was only audible to James who smiled in return, dismissing her worries. Sirius and Lily did not pay attention to this exchange given they were in a conversation of their own.

"You don't need to fight anymore," Lily told Sirius desperately, "James and I got out, and Scarlet will too... we have all risked our lives enough times."

"Lily's right," James said, folding his arms over his broad chest and leaning back onto the sofa, "It's time to go, to let it all go, Pads... the war rips you apart from within, you must feel that, right?"

"Of course, I do—" Sirius frustratedly rubbed the bridge of his nose, "There is this hollow... this screaming fucking thing inside of me, like broken glass with sharp edges and I can't get it out," Sirius said through gritted teeth. How dare anyone come after what he loves—? As if the target on the Potters was not enough, the universe just had to play that brutal game and come for Scarlet too. Everything he loves. He cannot tolerate this any longer.

      He felt this nauseating, intolerable damage in his heart, daggers piercing through his stomach. It was all so painful.

      Everybody looked at him, paying attention and listening quietly.

      One of his legs was bouncing in an anxious manner as he fiddled with the black-stoned ring on his finger. Gently, Scarlet's hand was placed on his thigh and his breath momentarily hitched, and the touch of her skin calmed him down. He stopped bouncing his legs, allowing himself to rest a little.

"And I scratch and bite and desperately yell for that feeling to go away... this broken, rotting feeling in me that's screaming to get out of my heart but I can't."

      Sirius sighed, slouching back and watching James' pitiful eyes hovering over him.

"This isn't fair," James muttered to Sirius who frowned. His best friend— James and his oh-so-optimistic heart that should have been shielded with gold from the rest of the brutal world. Sirius needed to make sure James makes it out— out of all these fighters, James is meant to make it out because he is the world's light.

       A world without James Potter is a world without Sirius Black.

"I don't even know why you carried this entire thing along this long; after everything you've been through, did nobody remind you that you require a break?" Lily asked the blonde, and the pitiful look on her face made Scarlet want to throw up. The redhead was right, as always, and she was just trying to look out for her friend but the blonde felt uneasy in her own skin, not feeling that surge of power in her veins anymore.

      Having Tom Riddle by her side also brought her significant amount of protection and allowed her to be negligent about risks. Now that very man will be the cause of her doomed fate.

"Why do you resent the idea of taking a break, Scarlet?" The redheaded girl asked, leaning forward and placing her chin on her elbows which were pressed against her knees, "why do you keep fighting when you can merely be at peace, it's clear you have underlying compatibility with both sides."

"Well, first of all, my mother tried that and it ruined her life," the blonde shared, shrugging lightly, "it's not as easy to conform to both sides because in the end, instead of receiving respect from all, you are merely left with nothing... 'cause nothing good comes out of being a traitor to both sides."

Lily smiled at her encouragingly, "I'm glad you're sharing this with me, it feels better, does it not? Trusting and letting someone in, sharing your perspective."

"It feels lighter," she smiled back at the girl, eyes warming. "The other reason is it's addictive. The adrenaline rush, hanging onto a single thread of hope on a boat between life and death; the fear and feeling of power and reckless magic — dark and threatening and wild spells flying around — I may be obsessed with it."

Sirius looked down because he didn't understand, but Lily did, so she said, "there is no turning back, from that addiction — it's like a bad drug, we cannot overpower it."

      Sirius recalled thinking that Scarlet had been his drug, he was addicted and could never possibly get enough of her. He realises now that she has other priorities, and that is the war and fighting for this cause. 

      His addiction was her and her addiction was the war.

"I know." Whispered the blonde, that intense teaching of you shall overpower everything that was engraved in her brain as a child was no longer alive, "War is reckless. No rules, no politeness, just an incredible hunger for victory and I find myself obsessed with that earnestness for success."

Lily intertwined her fingers with Scarlet's, smiling reassuringly at the blonde. "I understand, Scarlet."

      Sirius is not used to feeling he is at someone's mercy. He's a Black. As a child, he could walk into a room and easily find himself to be the most powerful one there — with his father and grandfather on the corner to defend him. With his name and powers and wealth.

      No matter how patient Scarlet acts, no matter how she gives him her best smile and utmost support, goes along with all of his lunacies—

      There is that knowledge there, buried but impossible to dismiss, that Sirius is at her mercy. That she is far more powerful and more dangerous and just because he gets away with his cruel words does not mean it will last. It does mean that there is a power imbalance and she could easily have him on a thread between life and death with a click of the fingers she uses to touch him so delicately.

      It's not to say Sirius is insecure, he's careful.

"OH MY GOD—!" A scream interrupted them, the demeaning silence being sliced in half due to Dorcas' knife-sharp complaint, "HARRY DROOLED ALL OVER MY HAIR!"

"Oh, for god's sake," Lily rolled her eyes, giving a very victorious looking Harry a squinted look to express her disapproval, "come on, Harry, don't be bothering your aunt."

"Also," Dorcas turned to Scarlet whilst using her wand and magic to clean her hair, "Eve sent a letter, she won't be coming today."

       Scarlet's shoulders slumped, and her face fell to a tiny frown. Sirius sent her an assuring look, squeezing her hand. "Oh."

"It's just... something came up," Dorcas nodded frantically to ease the atmosphere, "and it's best she keeps a low profile since..."

"Since everything I love turns to ash," Scarlet mumbled under her breath.

Dorcas didn't hear her but she knew her words were nothing but bitterness to herself, "she has picked quite a fight with Greyback's pack, that makes her an ultimate target regardless of your situation."

      Scarlet sent Dorcas a tight-lipped smile which the brunette reciprocated with a bright grin, as warm as summer. The two Slytherins held each other's longing stares for a moment—to get a perfect look at each other, memorising the details of their faces—just in case anything goes terribly wrong.

      The underlying message hung by a thin thread, the shameful realisation that any of these seconds could be their last.

      The tension was cut through again upon Harry's cooing, his words— his first words.

"Pha—pa–pafoo," Harry mumbled, extending his arms towards Sirius from Lily's arms.

      Everybody fell silent.

      The entire room shared glances with each other, making sure they had all heard the same thing. The tension was foggier, overwhelmingly suffocating everyone.

"OH, YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!" An outraged James yelled out, nobody's ever seen him this frustrated.

"I gave birth to you," Lily gaped at her son, the absolute look of astonishment on the ginger's face made Harry let out a bunch of giggles. Scarlet covered her mouth to suppress her own laugh of amusement.

Sirius was just blissed out. He took Harry from Lily and was twirling him in the air, "don't be frowning, Prongs, I'm fantastic— no wonder Harry loves his godfather!"

      Harry laughed loudly as Sirius twirled him in the air again, and the little boy extended his little arms to wrap them around Sirius' neck to make sure he doesn't fall.

      The Order meeting was a journey for sure. Silence enveloped the friends aboard the Order Express, deepening the vivid apprehension. Scarlet blinked many, many times as Dumbledore declared the prophecy that had Scarlet in the midst of it all. The words chimed repeatedly in her skull like a knell of death and looming danger, and she knew there was no escaping the truth, no matter how hard she tried to run from it.

      Dumbledore said something about the Fidelius Charm, how nothing is better protection than this and everybody else agreed. 

      Her pale face captured everybody's attention—the Potters, Sirius, Dorcas— fearful sheen in her eyes, reminiscent of someone who has been subject to irreversible acts of horror in scary films. This was all real, that much was clear.

      Crystal clear.

      James and Scarlet were standing a little further from the house in Godric's Hollow. Just in front of the Potters' building, Harry was crying in Sirius' arms as the little boy refused to let go. His mother has been desperately trying to get her boy from his godson for ten minutes.

      This led to Bridget and Potter indulging themselves into a much-needed conversation.

"Okay, I urge you to never tell anyone that I'm saying this," James started, turning to look at her. His hands were in his pockets, foggy smoke blowing through his mouth and mixing with the Autumn chill. "You– you're the strongest person I know, and I know a lot of strong people—but you... with you, everything you do, it hits different."

      Scarlet realised he was rambling on, stuttering and not thinking before allowing his words to tumble off his tongue but she let him continue without interruption.

"I don't know how you do it, be so strong and collected at every minute of your life even though everything is all falling apart," he shrugged, shallowing the tightness in his throat. "Hell, you've got fucking Voldemort on your back, that big of a target and I haven't seen you flinch once."

      Bridget and Potter stood out in the chilly night, a canvas of stars gleaming in the inky-black sky above. When the moonlight hit the two of them, that was when Scarlet noticed the unpleasant look on James' face. She was taken aback, not having seen him like this before. His hands were trembling, breath shaky.

"Potter..." She whispered, a pang in her throat. Her hands were rubbing her own upper arm, shivering underneath the dark, cold night.

"I'm scared," He whispered back, voice shaking with his irises turning glossy. "I know I don't look like it but I'm so scared, I'm really, really scared." He choked out, biting down on his lips. His cheeks were reddening over his pale skin, glasses falling askew but he did not bother to fix them.

      Scarlet stepped forward—speechless—and took both of his hands into her gloved ones, squeezing them tightly to refrain him from trembling under the shiver and excessive fear.

He said, "I'm trying to stay strong for Lily... and our little boy, I always try to be strong but it's so difficult," James looked around, pursing his lips to avoid the burst of emotions he had been hiding. "Look— Bridget, if anything happens—"

"Nothing is going to happen, Potter—" She reminded.

"Bridget, let me talk," He sharply cut her off, not unkindly. "If anything happens, you and Sirius will take our Harry in, and you'll treat him like your own... you'll never let him feel like an orphan, promise me that."

"Don't say it like that—"

James squeezed her hands this time, desperately. "Just promise me, Scarlet."

      An overwhelming silence encapsulated the two like old friends.

"I won't treat him like my own son, Potter, he will be my own." A tear escaped her eye because it felt like a goodbye. And Scarlet was not fond of goodbyes. She would rather die first than having to watch another one her loved ones reach a terrible ending whilst she gets to live. Especially when she is the least deserving of the gift to make it out alive. "I promise."

      Bridget was the one staying awake at night to take care of Harry at the hospital so the Potters could get some sleep. She was the one running to their house at three in the morning when Lily got a false alarm. She was the one who held Lily's hands throughout her pregnancy whilst James was busying himself in the form of mourning.

      If there was anyone who could be a mother figure if anything had happened to their little boy, it would be Scarlet. James knew. James trusted her, as ironic as that sounds considering their treatment of each other during Hogwarts years.

      He leaned forward and practically let his weight onto Scarlet's who quickly wrapped her arms around him, bringing him to a hug. This was the second time the two of them hugged and the source of vulnerability was the complete opposite. It was not James comforting Scarlet anymore as he did the night Sirius escaped, the night he found a Slytherin girl (the horror!) crying in his gardens, oh... how the time changed as he sought comfort from that same Slytherin.

      The girl he met on the train on the very first day of Hogwarts. He was left astonished with such a robotic enigma, asking her why she is named after a colour.

      The Potter boy would rather not break down in front of the love of his life or his other friends, because the mask of confidence he wore so vigorously—he would rather not let it slip. He didn't want to be remembered as a frightened, crooked man and rather a brave Gryffindor. But Scarlet was a different story, he didn't care about the girl seeing his mental fuzziness. He just didn't know why she was an exception.

      After sniffing once or twice and attempting to avoid sobbing, he pulled away, pinching the bridge of his nose. He smiled softly at the girl who looked utterly defeated.

"I'll see you next at your wedding, huh?" He grinned.

"That's if you're invited, Prongs." She playfully said, lightening up the atmosphere as James chuckled.

"Merlin, Scarlet, you're freezing," suddenly, he took off his overcoat and put it around the girl—the girl's figure remained rigid and her face unfazed, although she was left astonished at the tiny action of caring. James Potter. The boy who used to absolutely loathe her.

"Thank you," she smiled in gratitude, and watched as he took a step back and became prepared to walk away from her. "Be safe, 'kay?"

He nodded with a light, assuring smile. "And in return for all my demands and the responsibilities I'm putting on you... I want you to know I'll always be here. For you."

      Scarlet's heart melted significantly.

"Somewhere in the haze, you've become very important to me, and I know you have Chasseur to go to but if you ever think something is going terribly wrong, you'll always have me. Until the end."

"Until the very end, James." Scarlet nodded with a tiny smile, hands shoved in the pockets of James' overcoat and left. James. She just called him James. James seemed to pick up on the strange notion and grinned brightly one last time — his ego undoubtedly reaching the sky.

      She used her gloved hand to fix the boy's askew glasses, and then listened to her heart when it ordered her to place her palm against his frozen cheek. As she did so, James instantly melted into her touch and clenched his jaw, wrapping his fingers around her wrist as her hand still lingered on his cheek. The two of them stared at each other for a few moments.

      The last smile he shot her that night was a crippling, sad smile. Scarlet frowned before stepping away from him.

      She watched James' back as he walked away into the shadows, and a strange feeling overwhelmed her. Scarlet knew she was not going to get to meet him or Lily for a very long time and it sent an unusual pang through her heart.

      Sirius finally got a fussy Harry off his neck, and then kissed Lily's cheek as a form of goodbye before walking back to Scarlet, intertwining his fingers with hers. Bridget and Black turned over their shoulders and waved at the Potters as they entered their home.

      Scarlet never got to give James his coat back.

𝑪𝑨𝑹𝑨 𝑺𝑷𝑬𝑨𝑲𝑺

im scared shitless