I forced myself to catch up to them, emerging from the trees to the shore of a large lake. How did I miss this from the highway?? Then again it was hard to see past the trees while we were walking. The water laid out before us in the evening sunlight, blue grey, serene. I dropped my bag on the shore, one desire pushing all my thoughts aside.

            "I'm going for a swim." I stated, finding the soap in my Poppins purse. At last, a chance to clean up. I pulled my stained shirt over my head, wiggling out of my pants, the machetes falling off with a clink. I kept my gloves on, but took off my shoes, the exposed bones of my toes not as noticeable as the missing skin on my fingers. I had the foresight to wear underwear and bra, the boobs weren't that impressive but I was doubly glad for the extra layer when I turned to see a slack jaw Fred, his eyes riveted on my body. Wolf Girl peered curiously at me, frowning.

            "Like what you see?" I snapped, jolting him to shut his mouth.

            "Uh sorry," He tried to avert his gaze, but it kept sliding back. "You're much more intact than I would've thought."

I glanced at myself, glaring at the fist sized hole on my rib cage. "Yeah, not intact enough. Should I tie a bandage around this or something?" Fred set Wolf Girl on the ground, bringing his magical back pack around to produce an ace bandage. My brows shot up at that. "Were you a boy scout?"

He shrugged. "Maybe. It just felt right to pack stuff like this." He unrolled it, approaching me. "Do you mind?"

I sighed, lifting my arms so he could wrap the cloth around my gaping ribs. The bandage went around snugly. Fred finished by cupping my breasts.

"I couldn't help it, they're so perky!" Fred cried under the hail of blows.

"Jerk!" I yelled at him. I turned to the Muppets. "Fat lot of good you are!" Bert and Ernie didn't come to my defense, watching the whole thing, their moldering heads tilted to the side. I stormed the beach in a huff, right into the water until it was waist high. If it was cold or warm I couldn't tell, but my inability to gauge the temperature didn't bother me as I unwrapped a bar of soap and proceeded to scrub down.

I was covered in suds when I heard Fred's hysterical laughter from the shore. Ready to snap at him again I looked up to see Wolf Girl standing nearby, shivering, water up to her chest. I didn't hear her come in at all, but she reached for me, looking piteous. The Muppets had followed her in. I sincerely hoped there weren't fish nearby; the thought of picking minnows out of the Muppets was a shudder worthy task.

"They just plowed in after you." Fred smirked at me from the safety of the shore. Jerk. I sighed, ducking under the water to rinse the suds from me. Making my way to Wolf Girl, I had no sooner reached her when she jumped me, wrapping her grimy arms around me. I inhaled for patience. Her smell filled my nostrils.

"Nope, not doing this, you grab me, I clean you." I wrapped my arms around her, ducking us both into the water. Wolf Girl squealed, her grip vise like. She didn't have the sense to shut her mouth when I submerged us, coughing and sputtering when we broke the surface. She tensed further when I started lathering her up, scooping up a handful of sand so I could scrape the coat of dirt away. It was a surprise she let me, I was sure she would have kicked me half way across the lake by now. Instead she clung to me, shivering in silence as I gave her the first bath she'd had in years. When I reached her hair, her grip began to relax. My gloved fingers massaged through mass of snarls in her hair. I swear she began to purr.

I couldn't bring myself to give her a full a body scrub, but did my best. She would certainly smell better after this. I leaned her back into the water instead of ducking her under again, rinsing the soap out of her hair. It was lighter than I expected, Wolf Girl might be another blond. Bert and Ernie didn't come into the water past their thighs, fidgeting the whole time, but it gave Fred the opportunity to build a fire on the shore. The sun had set as I finished our impromptu bath, the firelight throwing long shadows across the water . Wolf Girl's teeth chattered in my ear. She hadn't let go once, including when I tried to wash myself again. I looked for Fred, hoping I could pass her off so I could get clean again. He stood on the shore, hands in his pockets, watching us.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Don't feel like swimming?"

"Not really, no." He said, rocking on his heels.

I huffed at him. "Well do you think you could at least come take her?" A shadow rose behind him, towering over Fred. "Fred!" I shrieked as a roar filled the air. Wolf Girl screamed, nearly dragging me under. The Muppets scrambled away, falling over in the water as Fred turned, a massive shaggy paw catching him in the shoulder, sending him flying. He crumpled several feet away, his body twisted in on itself.

A bear, a fucking bear stood between us and land, between me and my machetes. My brain fizzed out. I watched Fred get batted away, a dandelion in a lawnmower, unable to do anything but hold a shivering Wolf Girl and scream. On the coattails of the scream came the anger. My scream grew deeper, more like a snarl as I shoved her away, plowing for the shore. Fuck with my friends? I will make Smoky eat the business end of my machete, then see how vicious it is. Big bastard let out another teeth jarring roar, falling onto its front paws as it began lumbering to meet me. It might tear into me first, but I was a goddamn zombie. I would punch it right in the throat.

The bear was close enough to see the whites in its eyes when Fred reared up from the ground, launching himself at the thing. His arms closed around its neck, twisting with a crack I felt up my spine. My jaw dropped as the bear hit the ground. I finally tore my eyes off the dead animal to look at Fred, trying to process what just happened. He stood hunched over, a set of slashes through the blue hoodie at his shoulder. Blood oozed around the wounds but he wasn't gushing blood. Wait, he wouldn't, would he? Who cares, the man just took down a grizzly with his bare hands.

A giggle escaped my lips; the situation was so absurd. Fred's head snapped up, startled. Wolf Girl splashed onto shore nearby, hauling the Muppets with her. She flounced up to the bear, frowning as she kicked it in the head. When it didn't move she grinned. There went another giggle. The damn burst. I fell back on my butt in the water, unable to stop laughing. It was better than screaming, or worse crying. I hated crying. Fred glared at me, hands on his hips, but his mouth twitched.

"I don't see what's so funny, I almost died." He paused, his brows creasing. "Again."

That did it. I exploded, laughing so hard I clutched my knees to stay upright. Fred lost his hold on decorum, joining me. After the laughs tapered off to chuckles, I crawled out of the water, struggling to pull dry clothes on my wet body as my mind whirred away.            

 "Did you know you could do that?" I asked, attempting to revive the fire. Fred plunked down next to me, wincing at the state of his clothes.

"Honestly, I was aiming to choke it out, you know sleeper hold." He stared at his hands. "Do you think you could have done the same?"  

"I don't know," I said, coaxing the flames to life. "But I was ready to punch it in the throat."

He smirked. "So you could be strong too, or crazy."

Crazy seemed accurate at the moment. "That whole episode with the baseball bat makes sense now," I muttered, feeding sticks to the flames. Other than his oozing slashes, Fred was no worse for wear. "Take off your sweat shirt. I'll clean up those cuts."

He cringed, leaning away from me. "Naw, I'm good, I'll do it myself when everyone's asleep."

Frowning I poked him in his non- ravaged shoulder. "Dude, you got a free show. Shut up and put up."

"I'd really rather not."

My brow quirked up at his response. "Fred, I don't sleep, Wolf Girl doesn't care, and the Muppets," I gestured vaguely at them. "Are you embarrassed about your veiny white boy body? I look like I crawled out of a horror movie, believe me, you're not that bad."

His shoulders slumped. Without further ado he yanked his shirt over his head. I stared. I couldn't stop staring. I'm an idiot.

Fred had a well-defined physique for someone I was certain was a video game nerd. That wasn't why I was staring. I knew he was missing skin under his chin; I trained myself not to look at his throat muscles after a few hours together. I didn't realize this gap in skin continued down, and down, and down, all the way to his belly button. It was like staring at a black and white anatomy painting, the skin flayed off one side to reveal the musculature beneath, dark gray ropes of sinew and tendons, cords of black blood vessels. Yeah, I needed to stop staring at him.

I turned my head to find Wolf Girl and the Muppets staring at him as well. Fred noticed the same time I did.

"Aw, what the hell Li, you said they wouldn't care." Wolf Girl sidled up next to him, extending a finger toward his exposed pectoral muscle. "Oh god, don't poke me!" He shoved her back, keeping an arm out in front to keep her away. I grabbed her, guiding her back to the fire while I rummaged in his back pack. I could see her inching closer to him again out of the corner of my eye.

"Do you have another bandage?" I asked, grabbing Wolf Girl's hair to keep her close.

"Yeah I dumped a few in there."

"Do you want me to wrap you up like you did for me? I promise I won't grope you."

His lips twitched. "I don't think I packed enough for that. Why don't you just wrap up the claw marks so I don't ooze through my spare shirt?"

"Fair enough." I put myself between Wolf Girl and Fred so I could catch her reaching around. Honestly, I should have expected the morbid fascination. Fred's cuts were deeper than I thought. I could see the bones of shoulder and arm through the gory mess. The blood was black like mine, but in the fire light I caught violet oil slick highlights. That was interesting. I was tempted to gouge myself to see if my 'blood' was the same. I wrapped him up, wishing I had a needle and thread. Those cuts should really be sewn up. Done, I patted his arm. "That should hold you for now."

"Thanks" He said, slipping into his spare shirt. I won't lie, once his chest was covered I relaxed. It was hard not to look. Speaking of which, our resident feral human went AWOL sometime during the wrapping.

"Where's Wolf Girl?" I asked, as a thud sounded behind me. I peeked over my shoulder, afraid what I'd find. Yup, fears justified. Fred craned around me and blanched.

"Ugh! Least let me cook it first ya little beast!" He leapt to his feet, rushing over to pry the machete and raw bear meat out of Wolf Girl's bloody hands. I just gave her a bath too. She started hissing and spitting at Fred for taking her food, which incensed the Muppets to go after him.

I was beginning to see a pattern here.

***Those are some impressive bear wrastlin' skills there Fred. Enjoying Z vs A? Don't forget to vote! Comments are also delicious and will be savored.***