PART ELEVEN: HEAVY SMOKE

I WON'T be subtle. The past fifty six years have been a living hell. I've been dragged through the fire and sliced through the rubble and only gathered a few scars.

I feel as if I've been on a never ending roller coaster, one that goes up, down, even upside down. Entering a new era of the 1900's was just as exciting as it is every time a new century rolls around. Cars have been invented, becoming the new mode of transportation. I rather enjoy the machinery compared to literal horse power, but even as I'm riding in the back of a car I sometimes find myself missing the joy of riding a horse.

During the fifty-six years I've been strolling around the country in search of clues, I've hit my own rocks in the road, putting a halt on my search for Blair. During those fifty years I've turned my switch off twice, which managed to catch the attention of my dear sister. I guess levelling a town is enough to raise suspicion. With cars now and this evolving era, word travels fast.

I sit in the back of a taxi, holding a scrunched up letter Lexi wrote me not two days ago. She tells me Stefan's gone off the rails again, indulging into his sick ripper ways in the town of Chicago. I guess not soon after I left Mystic Falls in 1864, Stefan tore the town apart again after loosing control with his blood lust. Since then Stefan's earned a reputation for himself, the news of a ripper travelling fast. That drew my sister back into town in where she encountered Stefan, the two of them sharing a friendly bond.

Although Lexi denies she has any romantic feelings for him, it makes my heart warm knowing Lexi's found some sort of friend. She always manages to pull me out of the brink of no humanity, and it appears she's the only one capable of saving Stefan from the switch as well.

I gulp down the anger I have towards Stefan, as I know I will have to encounter him for the first time in fifty years. A part of me silently loathes him for not aiding me in the search for his sister, as he continues to deny the fact that she's still alive. I haven't seen Stefan in fifty-six years, not since the night I gave him his daylight ring. Hell, I don't even know if Damon is alive or not.

I haven't even run into the mighty Original himself yet, let alone any Original for that matter. I haven't seen Elijah since 1864, nor Klaus. I feel myself becoming hot on their trail each day, but each day I also feel myself losing hope.

"Blair? Can you hear me?" I call out into my mind again, frowning when there's no response. I should learn not to be so disappointed, as never in the fifty-six years after Emily placed the spell have I once heard from Blair. I just seem to build up hope that one of these days, a miracle will happen.

I lean my head against the car window, slouched down in the back seat as the engine creaks down the gravel road. It doesn't help ease my mind knowing that the telepathic link Blair and I share doesn't appear to be working. Maybe I'm not doing it right, or maybe Blair just isn't responding. My stomach twists in a knot as I let the thought dawn on me of how maybe Blair isn't answering because she actually is dead.

Stop it

I can't think like that. I haven't been digging up trails and travelling the country in search for witches for the past five decades for nothing. Not a single one of them were able to help me find Klaus, either because they physically couldn't, or were too scared to even try. I let out an audible growl at the thought of the reputation Klaus has built for himself. It's pathetic.

He's made himself seem like the big, bad wolf. Thankfully I'm the one with the brick house.

The car ride from New York where I have been living for the past year all the way to Chicago was long enough to put me to sleep. It's only when the driver taps me on the shoulder do I lurch awake, nearly smacking my head on the roof of the car. I rarely sleep soundly anymore.

The cab driver motions for me to pay him, holding his hand out to me with his palm facing up. Not wanting to compel anyone today, I search through the pant pocket of my suit for some cash before slapping it on the drivers hand before stepping out of the vehicle.

I stare at the familiar bar, the night club Lexi told me to meet her at. The sun is just starting to set, still considered early to go to a night club. To get a head start, I head into the empty bar, sitting at a table on the far corner giving me a wide view of the whole room. From where I'm sitting I can see everyone that comes in the front door, the dance floor all the way to the mixing bar.

Knowing I have some time to waste, I pull out a box of cigarettes from my pocket and light it with a match, letting the nicotine filled smoke brush through my lungs. To a vampire the smoke is harmless, and frankly I would never willingly inhale the smoke if I knew it was going to harm me. Everyone in the 1900's smokes; hell you can even smoke in a hospital as stupid as that sounds. It baffles me how stupid humans can be, how oblivious they are to the dangers of their ways when their wants overpower their greedy little minds.

The first time I saw someone smoking I nearly threw up, the thought of inhaling smoke twisting my stomach. The longer I lived in New York the more I saw people do it. Curiosity got the best of me one day when I gave the death stick a try, understanding what all the fuss was about.

Not a second after the smoke first circulated around my lungs, I immediately felt all the stress, tension and anxiety drain out of me, as if the smoke cleared all it out. It wasn't so much of a high but rather a calming similar to that of alcohol. Nowadays I carry a pack wherever I go just in case I need to focus, calm myself or have a little piece of mind. Also, it helps me fit in with this century.

Sitting at the back of the club with a drink of bourbon in one hand and a cigarette in the other, I sit in silence just waiting for the night rush to come. It's moments like this that the tobacco particularly comes in handy, helping ease the anxiety of knowing I could quite possibly run into Klaus tonight.

I slow my pace with the drinks, having water between each one as the time passes. By the time it's ten o'clock, the party has just begun, the club filled with live music and dancers taking the floor. People around me laugh and talk, conversing with their friends or lovers. I stay seated in my booth alone, staring out into the crowd just waiting for someone to walk through the door.

I sit up straight in my seat as a familiar blonde strolls through the door, wearing a beaded dress with a pearl necklace. Even with the thick eyeliner and bold, red lipstick I recognize her easily.

I narrow my eyes while following her trail, watching silently as she heads to the bar. My sight is directed to the front doors once again when suddenly a familiar Salvatore brother walks in, surprisingly by himself.

Stefan stands at the front, scanning the crowd. I feel a sudden need to slouch in my seat to hide my face, but by the time his eyes land on me it's too late. I should have known he would be smart enough to scan the building, search for any threats. I'm impressed by his humanity-less self already. Even I without humanity am not that smart.

He smiles smugly before grabbing a drink, giving me some time to think of an angle to approach this at. I don't really know Stefan that well, let alone how he will act without humanity. I remember Blair telling me Stefan was the reasonable one, the quiet one even. I assume with no humanity he is the exact opposite, and based on Lexi's letters I hear he's a ripper. I just wish Lexi would hurry and show up.

"Long time no see." Stefan slides into the booth, sitting adjacent to me.

He sips on his drink while studying me, waiting for me to reply. I only lean back and bring the lit cigarette to my lips, that being the third one I've smoked tonight.

As I blow out the smoke, I spot a drop of blood caked on the corner of his lip. "Careful Stefan, you're wearing your date," I inform him casually, keeping a stoic expression.

He only smirks, not bothering to wipe his mouth. "How's the search for my sister going?" he asks although I can sense his sarcasm.

"Excellent." I lie, hoping he won't sense my falter.

"She couldn't make it tonight then? Too busy digging herself a grave to lie in?" he snickers to himself, finding amusement in my change in mood. He eyes my knuckles that have turned white from gripping my glass too tight, his eyes flickering to my clenched jaw.

"Have you even thought about trying to find her? Give in to the possibility that she didn't die that night?" I question him with a baffled expression.

"No, because I'm not stupid. I pity you James, chasing after a girl you love. Speaking from personal experience, back out while you have the chance. Katherine got us killed after we wanted to save her sorry ass from burning in a church. Turns out, she burned anyways so we died for nothing." He pouts down at his drink.

"That girl is your damn sister. Maybe you could show some love," I hiss at him.

"Well, I guess I've disappointed both siblings then haven't I? Damon already hates me for forcing him into a vampire-"

"You what?" I cut him off, looking at him with confusion.

"Oh yeah, you left before shit hit the fan." Stefan chuckles to himself. "Poor brother wasn't going to do it, so selfish me compelled a bleeding peasant girl to stand in front of him, and before I knew it he had his fangs puncturing her neck. He blames me, wants to make my life a living hell blah blah." Stefan takes another sip of his drink.

"You know, he claims that he hates it, but deep down I think he hates himself for how much he actually enjoys being a vampire," Stefan tells me.

I feel incredibly sorry for Damon, and a little for Stefan too. Technically Stefan didn't directly force Damon into a vampire, but rather made it incredibly hard to resist the blood lust. If you place a bleeding human in front of a vampire in transition, you can bet that they'll indulge in a feast like it's freaking thanksgiving.

Neither of them deserve this life, this kind of hatred they now have for one another. Katherine really did tear the Salvatore family apart.

"When's the last time you saw him?" I ask seriously, wanting to know.

"Few years ago before he signed up for the war. Haven't seen him since," Stefan answers dully, his face drawing a blank.

"Has he asked about Blair?" I wonder. 

Stefan nods. "I mean he's not obsessed with finding her like you are, but he's done some research."

I become intrigued, sitting up in my seat. "And?"

Stefan laughs, leaning across the table as he takes the cigarette from my hand. "What do you think, James? Every lead ends in a dead end because Blair is dead," he says. 

As he blows smoke in my face I snatch the cigarette back, taking a puff to calm myself. I have to remind myself that Stefan isn't thinking clearly. Of course he won't care for Blair as his humanity is off. 

"Why didn't you join the war?" I ask curiously.

He sends me a perplexed look, gesturing to himself. "Come on, you think this fancy pants could withstand the war? I'd rather burn in that church with Blair than join that pity party!" he amuses himself, but at the mention of Blair burning in that church, a wire within me snaps.

The fact that Stefan speaks so lowly of his sister forces all the anger within me to rise, even though I know it's only because his switch is off. I lunch across the table and grab a hold of his bowtie and force my hand down on the table, bringing his face down with it. He smacks his nose against the table, but before I can do it again a hand pulls my arm back.

"Don't be causing a scene now, big brother."

I turn my head and stare with wild eyes at Lexi who stands in front of me, her hand pulling mine away from Stefan. She seems so different yet exactly the same, like it was just yesterday I saw her and not ten years ago. I know that every time I see her we have a lot of catching up to do.

"Come on, Lex. Everyone else in this bar is already too drunk to pay attention to us," Stefan muses, wiping the blood from his nose. 

"Almost everyone." She turns and points to the blonde that walked in moments ago, the one with the thick eyeliner and red lipstick.

Rebekah

"Did she come here alone?" I turn to Lexi, hoping she'll have the answers. She's been living in Chicago longer than I have.

"You guys know her?" Stefan questions, staring at Rebekah in awe. "That lady stole my drink right out of my hand." He smirks, and I force myself not to role my eyes. Stefan seriously has a problem with choosing women that cause him trouble. 

"As far as I know she did," Lexi replies, both of us ignoring Stefan as if he's a whiny child.

"I'm going to go get a drink," Stefan suddenly says, leaving the table before any of us can object. I know he's heading towards Rebekah, but I don't make any move to prevent him.

"So how do we help him?" I sigh, extinguishing my cigarette.

"Vampire rehab." She smirks proudly, taking a sip of my drink. "You'll never guess how I turned his switch back on last time!" She begins to tell a story, but my mind is brought elsewhere, to an entirely different place once I spot a familiar Original sitting at the bar.

How the hell did I not see him walk in?

"Excuse me," I say to Lexi, causing her to pause her conversation.

She looks at me questionably, but doesn't say anything as her eyes land on the Original sitting at the bar. She only sends me a warning look, as if to remind me not to get into any trouble.

I send her a small, assuring smile before finishing the rest of my drink and heading down to the bar. When I reach the table however, I realize he's not here. Instead my eyes land on his tall figure leaving the front doors, forcing me to follow him.

I force open the doors rather aggressively, the nerves rattling inside my body starting to get to me. There's only one man on this planet who can make me feel nervous. 

I stand out in the cold, tiny snowflakes just starting to fall. It's the middle of the night, and I have no idea where the hell he went.

"I guess I've been made."

I spin on my heels quickly at the voice, my hands held out in a defensive stance as I confront the man leaning against the brick wall of the bar. "Klaus." I let out a low growl, clenching my jaw tight.

Before he gets a chance to say anything I lunge forward, reaching for the first tangible thing in my path as I shove him harshly up against the wall. I hold him by the throat, not holding back on my immense strength as I raise a first with my other hand.

He doesn't move against my grasp, either because he doesn't want to, or knows it's no use. As of right now we're the same age, the same strength. The only thing that could change would be if he broke the curse to unleash his hybrid side. Unfortunately- and I use that word with graceful sarcasm- he hasn't broken it yet meaning we are of equal strength.

"Where is she? Where is Blair?" I demand aggressively, leaning close so that our eyes are only a couple inches apart. I want to make his eyes bleed the truth.

"Easy there mate, don't sound too eager," he snickers to himself, not even phased by me pinning him against the wall.

"You sick bastard," I spit. "You've had your fair share of torture on me, it's been fifty-six years without her!" I press harder against his throat, causing his face to redden.

"F-fifty-six years i-is nothing compared t-to the nine hundred years y-you spent torturing me!" He struggles against my hold, finally seeming uncomfortable by my grasp.

In hind sight, he isn't entirely wrong. Elijah and I spent centuries torturing him with our possession of the moonstone, hiding it from him, threatening to destroy it. That stupid moonstone to him was like Blair to me. Stupid Mikaelson fell in love with a pathetic rock.

"Please Klaus, Blair is innocent in this. Just tell me where she is, and you can do whatever you want with me. Please!" I practically beg him, secretly despising the tone of my voice. Never have I ever once begged Klaus Mikaelson for anything. I guess I'm that desperate, lost as to where to find her. I've held onto hope for this long, but it's starting to drain out like an ignited wick running out of line, destined to reach the end and ultimately result in an explosion.

That explosion just might be a permeant flip of my humanity switch.

"What makes you think she's still alive?" Klaus questions seriously, his analytical eyes studying my reaction. Maybe if I can show I'm desperate enough, he'll help.

Who am I kidding? This is Klaus Mikaelson, stranger to conceding feelings.

"I know you threatened her and Emily that night in 1864. I know it was you who snapped my neck when Emily was a second away from telling me where Blair was. I know you killed Emily just to protect the truth."

"You've been doing your research, huh?" he says, not even denying anything I just accused him of.

"No, I've just been following your slip ups," I retort, backing up a bit while still keeping a hold on his arm.

"I know you Klaus, and I know there is still part of you that is hurt by the way I reacted when you turned me. I know you only wanted to keep me in your life forever, and you felt betrayed when I wasn't grateful. I know that day still haunts you, as it does I."

Klaus stares at me with intense eyes, as if some of my words have made it through his thick skull. He takes in a deep breath, hesitating before speaking. "The opportunity to make amends for our centuries of rivalry has long passed Branson. You've made it quite clear that you no longer see me as your friend."

I stare at him with a gloom in my eye before hesitantly releasing him, taking a step back. "You stopped being my friend the moment you drove a blade through my heart without even giving me an opportunity to speak for myself. Care to share the moment I stopped being yours?" I raise a brow, curiosity pushing me to keep asking questions.

He rubs his throat which has red marks from my strong hold, ignoring my question. The only time Klaus doesn't answer a question is when he's too embarrassed to admit the truth, or when he doesn't care less. Based on his vexed expression, I'd say it's option number one.

To avoid having to face the truth, he rushes towards me while I stand my ground. "You shall leave this bar and never come back. Do not enter, do not even think about coming in ever again," he compels me, forcing me to leave whether I like it or not. That means it's up to Lexi to help Stefan now.

Giving me one last daring look, Klaus turns and heads back to the club, not even giving me a glance over his shoulder.

"Can you at least tell me if she's alive or not?" I shout after him, my hands stuffed in my pockets nervously. I want to try and pry at least one piece of information out of him.

To my surprise he freezes in step, turning his whole body so he's facing me. For a few seconds there's only silence in the air, tension floating above us like thick smog. I watch the wheels spin inside his head as he debates on whether or not he wants to answer that question.

"Please," I add quietly, desperation laced within my voice.

It's with that final push that Klaus finally gives in, glancing down at his shoes. "Fine, but if I tell you, you must leave and not ask any more questions," he warns, narrowing his eyes.

"Okay, sure, whatever." I nod eagerly, anxious to hear what he's about to say.

He inhales deeply, staring up at the crystal clear midnight sky before locking eyes with me. "Yes, she is alive."

It takes a moment for his words to reach my brain, then another moment for the words to register into reality, into a meaning.

She's alive

Blair is alive

MY Blair is alive

In this moment there's a huge weight lifted off my chest, my mind suddenly clearing from all the smoke of doubt that had slowly been filling up over the years. This is the first real piece of evidence, the first real light of hope shone my way.

Not wanting to push him further, and keeping my word, I hesitantly turn around, heading out into the city street when suddenly his voice stops me.

"James," he shouts, his booming voice echoing throughout the empty alley.

Slowly I turn to face him, biting my lips as I listen to him speak. "Maybe you shouldn't be so concerned as to where I am, but where Katherine is not."

With that he turns around and heads back inside, like nothing was ever said.

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[complete & edited: 08/23/17]