Ayesha's PoV

I tried my best to sleep. But today sleep is also betraying me. Tears were continuously flowing down. I cried a lot. Exactly like how I cried when my baba is dead.

I remembered each word Bapuji has spoken.

She should be relieved from all the stress and tension.

And her biggest worry is me.

I know that.

I silently shed my tears. Because it is the only way to get the comfort my heart wants. I promised myself that I wont show these tears infront of my mama once again. Because that may break her heart and I may lose her forever.

I love you mama.

I know. I was such a bad daughter always. I blamed you for your selfless love for me. I made fun of that always. But inside I knew that you are the best mother in the world.

I am scared mama. I have noone left in this world if it's not you. Please dont leave me. A mere thought of you leaving me, scaring the hell out of me.

I wanted to let myself escape from this burden. But how?

Noone would help me.

Oh Yes. Darshana? She would surely understand me.

I didnt think another second to take my phone and dial her. On the second ring itself she attended my call.

"Hello babyyyy. Wont let me talk with my boyfriend for sometime? Its okay. Friends first..."

"Darshu...."I was crying loudly.

"Hey..what's this? Why are you crying? What happened Ayesha?" She was panting.

I didnt stop crying which made her tensed.

"Tell me what happened. Please let me know."she shouted from the other end of the phone.

"Darshu. I am afraid.."

"Afraid of what?"she asked.

"Afraid of living without my mama."I spoke in a low tone.

"That's okay. She is not going anywhere. She is there with you. Right?"

"Her health is not ok. She suffered from an heart attack when I was studying at Bangalore. And you know what. Nobody let me know about my mother's illness."I detailed her everything which Bapuji told me.

"Ayesha. Hey..Calm done. Listen you are a doctor. You can't forget that and cry like a baby."she tried to make me calm.

"Emotions Darshu. Its equal for everyone. No matter whether doctor or nurse or actor or counsellor. It will break us. Haunt us."

"You are not supposed to break down. Because you are strong baby. Please understand that."she told me.

"No. I am worried about my mother."

"Even if your mother needs treatment you are there to help her. Nothing like that would happen again."she assured me. But I am not in peace.

"Okay let me help you how to handle this situation. First of all understand that your mother is not in danger. She is fine now. All you need to do is take care of her well. Spend some more time with her. Do as many things that would help her heal and relieve. Dont do anything that may make her worry. Bring the doctor in you out and use it for your own good."

I thought for a moment.

"I am ready to do anything to save my mother. She is my only family."

"That's my girl. Now stop crying. Smile always. Your tears may hurt her. But your smile will only heal her."

I nodded while wiping my face.

"Enough of being the crying bird. Now go and have some sleep."she adviced me in the most concerned tone.

"Thank you so much." I was feeling relieved from my heart. Talking to her helped me so much.

"Welcome. I love you too." She laughed. "Now good night."she said and I ended the call.
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Sleep was far away from me. Talking with Darshana helped me. But it was not enough for me to get some sleep.

I decided to do everything that mama wants me to do. If it would help her heal, I can even sacrifice my life for her. If it is about my marriage, I would even agree for that. For me my mama matters more than my own happiness.

But still my heart. My heart goes with him. The person who was there with me till now, and soon leave me. To his place.

I can do anything for my mama. For her well being. I can marry any Azhar whom I don't know anything about.

But wasn't I deceiving my own heart?

Why did I meet him? What was the purpose when Allah sent him to me? Why did he bond with me suddenly? I was happy in his company like with no other. Because he didn't judge me. He was happy the way I am. He didn't even ask me to change or blame me for anything.

And now we have to separate like this.

Is this my fate?

No matter how much I suppress, I have feelings for him. Him. And soon he will leave me and I would get married with mama's Azhar.

But does it matter?

He doesn't have anything for me. He sees a friend in me. Then why should I over think? It wouldn't gonna help me anyway.

I tried to find some peace looking at the shining moon. I wish my life was also like this.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned back to see Shamz there.

"Hey, you didn't sleep?" I asked seeing him unexpectedly. Because he is the last person on earth who leaves his precious sleep for anything.

"I was just worried about you. Thought to check on you."he said making me smile.

"Did you talk with your mama?" He asked bringing me back to what I was trying to escape from. My face fell down.

"What happened? Did you fight with her?"

I felt my eyes deceiving me.

"Ayesha, I am asking you."

"Yes Shamz. I talked with her. "I stopped abruptly.

"And then?" He was curious.

"And then what. I decided to agree ....for this marriage..." my words were breaking.

"What the hell? Are you serious Ayesha? You can't just give up the way you do everytime." He was really angry.

I felt my heart stopping. I suddenly fell into his chest and cried hugging him. He didn't ask me anything after that. I felt peace being with him. He was always there for me.

An hour passed by. We settled at the terrace being in complete silence. I know he was waiting for me to talk.

"Shamz, may be she is right. I left everything to my fate."

"May I know why?"

Then I didn't hesitate. I told him everything what Bapuji told me. He was shocked.

"I have no one else Shamz. Only my mama. I need her. I want to fulfill her biggest wish. If it costs me everything, I am ready to let it go. I don't care."

He took a deep breathe before facing me. I had already lost all my courage.

"And that includes yourself too?" He asked making me confused.

"Who are you lying to Ayesha? I know best of you."

I was silent for a long minute. There is nothing remains for me to talk now.

"I can understand you giving up on your dream. Atleast you are half way into that. But what about your love Ayesha?"

I was shocked at that statement.

Did he tell that?

"What are you telling?" I widened my eyes.

"You don't know that you love him?"

"Who?" I pretended to be unaware.

Ya Allah!!!

I wish the earth buries me under.

"Our Londonwala cousin. You think I won't know?" He was smirking naughtily.

I gulped. How could he? Nobody, I swear nobody knew this. I didn't share this with anyone.

"Stop blushing Ayesha." He said making me shock again.

Did I?

Seriously?

No, I am not.

"I know what you are hiding from me. But you should also know that I am your best friend and you can't hide anything from me. Your eyes confessed me."

Allah, I am just trapped. He caught me. What should I tell him now?

"You are madly in love with him. Just admit."

"Shamz...That....I...."I tried to gain courage. But it didn't work.

"Ayesha, stop betraying yourself. If you love him, you don't need to feel shame."

"But how do you know that?"

"Because I am your secret keeper and even Zain believes that."he smirked. "See, I noticed many times how you were so carefree around him. I didn't see you like that with anyone else. You were always the person who tried to escape from people and with Zain, you were keen to spend time with."

I know. He is right.

"All these days I was watching you. You were not the same person whom I know from Bangalore. The marriage ceremony was your last concern. In all the crowd, your eyes were always searching for him. I could see how solace you feel everytime when your search ends up on him."

I can't believe. He was stalking me all these days. May be I was little careless.

"Do you have any explanation regarding this?"he asked trying to read my face.

"No. I don't have. But now he is a closed chapter for me." I felt my heart paining while saying that.

"Why? Did he say no to you?"

"No. I didn't even tell him about my feelings."

He was amazed.
"Are you real Ayesha? You were always with him and you didn't confess till now?"

"No. Because. I didn't have the courage to do that. I was also confused. May be he is the only man with whom I am close.  But for him, I was just one among all the girls he is close with."

"Cut the crap please." Shamz was annoyed. "I can see him how different he is with you. He feels something special for you. His bond with you is not like what he shares with others. Just feel the difference Ayesha."

Shamz might be right. Zain have given me some clues. But how should I know what he feels for me. He is always the person who doesnt hide anything from me. And he didn't tell me anything regarding this.

Should I think that he loves me?

What if he don't?

"Stop overthinking. I believes that what you feels for him, he feels the same with you. He was concerned about your health the other day.  He was even ready to beat me to know the truth. And he was jealous when you were with me."

"But that doesn't mean he loves me Shamz." I said louder.

"How do you know if you don't ask him?"

"I don't want to. If he doesn't think about me like that, I would be shattered into million pieces. I can't handle that."I confessed.

"But it is still better than regretting later. Right? What if he have feelings for you? And he may step back thinking that you are all okay with getting married with someone your mother chooses. Don't let him do that. One of you must take a step towards each other."he said but I was still confused.

"I am a coward Shamz." I can't believe that I am accepting that.

"No, you are not. You were never. You did things that nobody could even imagine. I want that brave Ayesha back. Only you can solve your own problems."

I felt my entire body tiring. I cant do that. But Shamz is also right.

"Listen. This is your last chance. Even if he says no, he would go back within a few days and you dont need to face him anymore. And if he feels the same, imagine you can spend life with your love than having a loveless marriage with a stranger."

That hit me. How beautiful would have been if it was true.

"Why can't you take a chance Ayesha? Your mama wants you to get married. She will be damn happy if your husband would be from our own family. Not any random person."

Yes mama would be happy.

It would have been awesome if he accepts me.

He always given me right to tell anything to him. There is no need I should feel shame in confessing what I feels for him. Atleast to him. We have discussed many things together.

"Just give a try dear."he encouraged me again.

I was still at half mind.

"One time. Just one time. If you overcome your fears and insecurities just for once, may be you would get the life you wished for. You would be happy forever."

That gave me the much needed realization.

I finally smiled at him. Don't know what takes over me. I decided to take this chance. Because I know that I love him. May be he too loves me.

This might be my last chance. He can't reject me after telling me how precious I am. I closed my eyes taking deep breathe. Hoping for the best.

"I would do that Shamz. Tomorrow ... Tomorrow  I would let him know my feelings." I said more to myself.

He hugged me. Happiness all written over him. I felt solace and comfort.

Yes.

I am gonna do something that I never imagined someday I would do.

I am gonna propose a man.

My man. Hopefully!

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