Achyuta

I really can't stop thinking about her, even if I want to. It's not mere attraction. It feels like a part of me, a part of my soul. My conscience is within her, which draws me closer to her. It's not an obsession that I can get over of. It's something new that I experienced for the first time in my life.

I've seen and heard of many people falling in love. They describe the feeling of being special, beautiful, and compassionate. They say when they see their lover, their heart gets out of their control, they are self-conscious, and they feel special around them. But I don't feel anything such when I am around her.

When I am around her, the time stops. My heart stops aching. I feel I've lost myself, like she's the only one present there. I feel like our souls have merged. All my problems and pains vanish away. I only and only think of her, how can I make her happy. I will love her for the eternity to come.

There are 5 stages of love:
Kama - Sensory Craving
Shringara - Rapturous Intimacy
Maitri - Generous Compassion
Bhakti - Impersonal Devotion
Atma Prema - Unconditional Self-Love

I don't intend to experience the last stage. The only person I have loved, loving, and will love is Aparajita. Bhakti is usually love between the creator and its creation. That's the closest stage of which I can describe my current feelings for her.

My whole existence is for a sole reason, for Aparajita. She's my god, goddess, my everything. I will be her bhakt (devotee) for my lifetime if I have to perform her bhakti. I will wait for her, till she notices me, till she sees in my eyes. If I've waited for her for seven births, I am ready to even wait for a hundred more lifetimes to come.

Only if she knew what feelings I had for her. Deep down, I want her to call me hers, I want to show her my little world. I want her to see me, notice me, love me. But all I can do is wait. The way I want to hold her, grab her by her waist, pull her closer and whisper in her ear,

"जिस क्षण से हमारी नजर आप पर पड़ी है, हम हम नही रहे. हमारा अस्तित्व हमने आपको सौंप दिया. आपकी नजरों ने हम हर क्षण जीने की वजह दी. एक अपरिचित सा युद्ध चल रहा है हमारे भीतर. हृदय कहता है अपको अपना बना ले, पर मस्तिष्क आज्ञा नहीं देता उसकी."
(From the moment I laid my eyes on you, I was no longer myself. I handed over my existence to you. Your eyes gave me a reason to live every moment. There is an unknown war going on within me. My heart says to make you mine, but my brain does not allow it.)

All I want to do is hold her close to me, my heart, and admire her eyes, her face, her voice, her soul, her heart, her everything for eternity.

Due to her company, I have unlocked several memories that were meant to be buried in the clock of time. I fear that if I stay much around her, she will also get flashbacks of the past. So I avoid being with her. And if she desires my company, I make sure my visit is short. I admire her from afar.

The rare moments when we're alone with each other, she always seems to be angry. I don't understand. I try to treat her like my queen, but she says she hates me. Honestly, that sentence alone wounded me deeper than any battle scars. Why does she hate me?

She seems pretty close to Abhaya. And she said she liked him. I don't know whether it's true or not, but I feel a pang of guilt stuck in my throat every time I think that she's mine. What if she really likes him? What if I am just hurting her feelings? God Vishnu! I need to find out about this. I need to know her true feelings.

I am in my chamber. I tell one of the guards to send a message to Abhaya saying I have summoned him. After some time, there's a knock at my door. It was Abhaya.

"You summoned me, brother?" He asks.

"Yes, Abhaya. I had to talk to you about some serious matter today." I say, closing out distance.

I gesture him to take a seat. We get seated on the stool placed on my balcony. My balcony is directly opposite Aparajita's balcony. I glance there. Of course, it's empty.

"What's the matter, brother?" He asks, sounding serious.

"Abhaya, I want you to answer my questions honestly and seriously." I say with a cold voice.

"I will, brother. But what's the matter?" He says, now sounding restless.

"It's about Aparajita." I stop to read his expression. His forehead, which was creased previously, is now smooth.

He was expecting me to ask something else. He's hiding something. Something more serious than Aparajita.

"You don't like Aparajita, do you?" I ask, contemplating his expressions.

He releases a sigh. Very small. Almost unnoticeable. He's definitely hiding something. But I will keep this matter for the aftermath.

"No, brother, I don't harbor any such feelings for Aparajita. But I must say this to you, if you're planning to marry her and use her as your political toy, I will not let that happen. I have been her best friend since childhood. For the sake of our friendship, I'll do anything to protect her. Her swayamvar will be a fair play. Whoever wins will be her groom." He says, sounding rather possessive.

I've known my brother since like he was born. I know friendships mean a lot to him. I can take this as an explanation as to why he's helping her. But the biggest question still remains. Does she really like him or not? If she likes him, she's not yet confessed it to him, I can tell reading Abhaya's face.

"Thank you, Abhaya. You may leave." I say, signaling towards the door.

He stands up to leave. He reaches the door. But he turns back before leaving.

"I may not like Aparajita. But Aniruddha is definitely smitten with her." He says, smiling at me.

He leaves. God Vishnu! Why? It was okay till Rishabha. But now, my own brother? I had to compete with my blood? And that to Aniruddha is the only person in this family whom I am close with. Others are merely humans to me. God is definitely having some cruel plans for me in this life.

I need to see Aparajita. Now. I tell one of my guards to send her the message that I desire to see her. Without waiting for her reply, I make my way towards her chamber. I meet the guard on my way. He said she was in the garden and could meet me there. I quickly make my way towards the garden. When I reach there, she is sitting on one of the jhulas, reading a book. I don't see Kamakshi around her. Thank goodness. For the first time. They're always glued together.

I jog my way towards her. I stand in front of her. Her face still buried in the book.

"What is it, Rajkumar? Why did you want to see me?" She asks without seeing up from her book.

I sit beside her on the jhula. Now, she closes her book and lifts her head. Her expression is that of bafflement and amazement together. She shifts her position, getting away from me. I, too, stand up and again sit near her so that our arms touch each other.

"हमसे दूर जाने की आवश्यकता नहीं है, प्रिये. आप जितना दूर जाने का प्रयास करेगी, हम आपके उतने ही समीप आ जायेगे." I say, staring into her eyes.
(No need to go away from me, darling. The farther you try to go, the closer I will come to you.)

I swear to Lord Vishnu, I saw her eyes soften for a moment, but again, she masked it. Her gaze now is steely and colder than the Himalayan mountains.

"आप जो कार्य के लिए यहां आए है, वह सम्पन्न करे. आप हमारा और आपका, दोनो का समय नष्ट कर रहे है." She says coldly.
(Complete the work for which you have come here. You are wasting both our time.)

"I have all of my time free if it concerns you. But if you think I am wasting your time, I'll make it quick." I say smiling.

She scoffs at my words. She may not be believing my words. To her, they're hollow promises. But I mean each and every letter I utter to her.

"I have a rather simple question for you today. Do you really like Abhaya, or are you just putting on an act?" I ask her straightforward.

She smirks at my question. Them she turns her body towards me, wraps her arms around my neck. She brings her face closer to my left ear.

"Well, everything comes with a price, little demon." She whispers in my ears.

Damn. She's using my moves against me. Smart. I grab her by her waist. Again. Her bare skin touches my hands. I bring my face near her ear.

"What's your price, little princess?" I whisper.

***

Hello readers! I hope you enjoyed today's update! How do you think of the new POV? Let me know your thoughts in the comments. Do let me know if I should continue with 3 POV's or 2 or add more. Don't forget to vote! Let me know your favorite parts and lines. Stay tuned for the next chapter. Take care. xo.

~Rose