AFTERMATH.
008. ❛ first date. ❜

So I kind of left you unattended for a while, but trust me it was so worth it. The past few weeks have resulted in happiness that I didn't even know I can feel or think that was possible.

Natasha knocked on my door, and she gave the first step of acknowledging the kiss that we had. She said and I quote,

" I couldn't get that kiss out of my head. Or for the fact of it, you out of my head for the past day. "
— Natasha Romanoff, 2015

And when she said that my heart sank into my stomach in a good way, with butterflies soaring and all the nerves that I had jittered. So when we got to talking, Natasha started mentioning her feelings and how love wasn't something that was easy for her. Given her Red Room past, she always had that as baggage and couldn't see somebody loving her with that. But I can see myself with her. I can hear the bells chiming for us. Possibly a wedding gown but that's thinking way too ahead.

After our conversation, I offered her to go on a date with me to which she accepted, and that's what's been happening.

But instead of picking out an outfit for tonight, I'm here writing in this book which I've grown accustomed to.

So I'm stuck between two choices, a black romper or a black dress. I really love the color black because it goes with everything, and it represents me so well. But back to the fashion choices, both would show off my nice long legs. And the date is in like an hour, why do I have nothing nice to wear?

It's my first date and I want to look nice for her, and put myself out there. This has been a long time for me, and my first date since I've came out. I want tonight to go perfect. To have a good laugh over dinner, walk her down the part of the city that plays jazz late at night, hold her hand, or even sneak another kiss at the end of the date. I want that, and it may be selfish of me to dream about tonight.

I guess I have to have a leap of faith for tonight.