AFTERMATH.
010. ❛ missions. ❜

I've came to notice the other day that Natasha and I have never been paired together in any mission since we made it official that we were a couple. Before when we were just friends, we were paired together all the time and it bothered Clint that I stole his friend. But Natasha and I have always been partners on the battlefield, and we've just known how the other thinks.

And now, I've been partnered with Steve and Clint for Natasha. Doesn't that suck?

I mean Steve's not a terrible partner or anything, if anything I would've preferred Wanda. Steve is just a little too hard on my technique, and what I have never been good with is taking criticism. He has worked in extra training sessions so that we get accustomed to the other. Not like it helped because I've been preforming a little off my game lately.

It's just hard. You get accustomed to certain people, and Natasha was my person. Now I have Mr. Stars and Stripes.

And I've been keeping my mouth shut this entire time, because I know if I say something that I'll get a big lecture of how it's the best for the team. And they're probably right. I mean there's a reason why doctors can't operate on relatives, it creates a bias and fog their mindset on what is right. In the end, I would only harm the people around me if I didn't follow orders.

Suddenly, the missions have started to pile up and we're constantly on the move. My back is just aching and my legs feel like jelly. That scene where Bambi learns how to walk, that's me right now. With all these missions, it just gives me less time to write in this; trust me, I've missed you.

Sometimes I wish things would go back to normal. Although I don't think I've ever known what that was like. I've always been different and though I embrace that now, I just wish I could tell my little self that I'd amount to so much more in the future. That all the struggle she was going through would work out in the end. That she'd met a fantastic person in the world, and fall deeply and secretly in love with one soul who thinks she's damaged when she's not.

That love was meant for me, and for her.