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trigger warnings !!

mentions of drugs, a lot of yelling and arguing,
negative self-talk, abandonment issues, and more

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innocence lost | roy harper
002
born to die | lana del rey

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Cascadia waited all day for a call to come and it never did. Instead he came in person the next day.

"You said you'd call me later and you never did! What was the point of leaving me a note if you weren't going to follow through?" Cascadia yelled at Roy.

Roy sighed and shook his head before explaining, "I'm sorry, I got caught up with work and time got away from me. I was thinking about you the entire time."

"It's hard to believe when you don't show any action. I don't think I can trust you if you're just going to say one thing and do another." Cas threw her hands up in anger.

"Cas I got caught up in something and just didn't have the time to call you." Roy explained again.

Cascadia sighed, her anger dissipating slightly. "I understand, but you have to understand how it makes me feel when I'm expecting something from you and it doesn't happen. You can't just say you're going to do something and then not follow through, it makes me feel like you don't care."

Roy nodded, "I do understand, and I apologize for not following through. I care about you a lot and I want to show you that I can be reliable. I promise I'll do better in the future."

Cascadia nodded. Roy pulled her in for a hug and gently kissed her forehead.

The anger she once had fully disappeared. A smile replacing her frown. They stayed in the embrace for a while. Before pulling apart when Roy's phone rang.

"I've to take this. It's important." Roy spoke apologetic and Cascadia just nodded feeling the anger start to rise again but keeping her cool.

"Hey, what's up?" was all you could hear as Roy walked into another room.

Cascadia waited in the living room. Hoping the call wouldn't take too long. She sat down at the edge of Roy's bed. Staring at the ruffled sheets, messed up from previous acts. A smirk appeared on her face as she remembered what happened.

She snapped out of her thoughts as Roy walked back into his bedroom. "I'm really sorry but I have to go now." Roy looked pained to say this.

Cascadia clenched her jaw before nodding. "Of fucking course you do. You always have to leave." she got up and pushed past him, grabbing her bag from the kitchen counter.

"Don't do this Cas. I don't always fucking leave." Roy snapped back.

"Yeah you fucking do Roy. You either leave or don't call!" Cascadia yelled back as she walked out the door.

Cascadia stormed down the hallways of the building ignoring Roy's calls to her.Cascadia was frustrated that Roy was always leaving her. She felt like every time they shared a moment, he was out the door. She was tired of him not following through on his promises and not keeping his word. She was angry that she was always left feeling alone and abandoned.

She called a taxi and went home. Once home, Cascadia was still frustrated and angry, so she took out a bag of pills from her purse and dry swallowed two of them. The pills helped to numb the intense emotions she was feeling, and she laid on her bed waiting for the numbness to take effect.

She felt a wave of euphoria wash over her as the pills began to take effect. The intense emotions she was feeling slowly started to dissipate, anger slipping from her grasp, leaving her feeling calm and content. She lay in bed, enjoying the feeling of peace and tranquility that had descended upon her.

Picking up her phone she called Roy, he as expected didn't answer. So she left a voicemail.

"Roy it's Cas, I'm sorry about earlier, I don't know why I got so angry, I don't mean it. I'm sorry, please call me. Don't leave me Roy. Please don't leave me." By the end of the call her words were beginning to slur together as they rushed out of her mouth.

Cascadia lay in bed, tears started to stream down her face as her feelings of frustration and abandonment began to overwhelm her again. She curled up into a ball, sobbing into her pillow as she wished Roy was there to comfort her. She didn't want him to leave her.

She laid there feeling everything at once but also feeling completely numb to it all. Sooner or later her eyes began to feel heavy. She closed them, falling asleep right away.

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