Your phone has been ringing nonstop ever since early afternoon as you were trying to collect a well needed breath in your home. Well, correction.

It's been ringing ever since yesterday after you met up with Connor and Hank at the station, about the error that 'somehow' entered Connor's software and cause the graphic interface to shut down as a result.

Then again, you did answer yesterday's call. The director's of CyberLife were showing deep 'concern' at what could've caused the error.

"We just are unable to comprehend that somehow an error caused the AM Suite program to shut down," the director of synthetics spoke, a hint of suspicion in his tone. "You've never made a mistake like this, Doctor (Y/N). Although we do understand it could have had something to do with your off brand Thirium 310 project you achieved for the RK800 series which you did not properly disclose to us about."

"I did not wish to bother all of you on a project that was still in its baby stage," you easily answered. Trying to not let irritation overcome you as you typed along your laptop, tabs open with one watching Connor's maintainability levels as you sat cross legged on your (sofa type) couch in your living room, Chloe preparing food in the background with your cat rubbing its head on your thighs cutely. "The experimentations with the other RK800's may have passed within the Tower, but they were never properly tested out in the field."

"If you told us about your Thirium 310 project—"

"Thirium 317." You corrected the woman director of biocomponents.

"—then the error wouldn't have probably been caused in the first place then, Doctor (Y/N). Amanda did not enjoy being temporarily terminated within the RK800's mindscape." She continued, abrasive. It made you smile in amusement at her annoyance, you annoying any of the director's brings you sick joy. And your patience for the directors are wearing very thin.

As well as Amanda.

"The error would've been cause either way," you lied through your teeth, "And why would I bother all of you with a project that may or may not have worked? The lot of you would be too busy doing paperwork to make my project official before I could even start on said project. I wanted to do this as quickly as possible."

You heard them mutter and give whispers to each other but you could honestly care less. They're interrupting you on your personal project that you've been working on for years. RA9 has haunted you, it's always haunted you. Ever since that foolish day you started messing with that ARI.

Should've figured they cancelled the production of those stupid glasses for a reason,  you were just too foolish to realize it.

But you're foolish about many things.

Like resetting the KL900 model and releasing it to be sold instead of you keeping it. But it was outside of your control. RA9 must be pleased. All of them.

"Alright," the voice of the director of LED said, "we get your point. But this still doesn't make sense to us. How can the best of CyberLife's workers somehow cause an error? It's just. . . odd."

Figures. That's the thing these bastards seem to remember, where it screws you and causes suspicion to rise? You should be benched, forever in the sidelines. Your role is not to be noticed.

You were never supposed to be noticed. In the spotlight for people to look at you.

An image of always lost and confused brown eyes with an innocent pout came upon your mind. He wasn't supposed to look at you either. . . But he did. He does. 

Those eyes on that android, everything about Connor, will surely be the death of you and your heart. He tries so hard and yet he's always lost.

You wish you didn't have to see that fear in his eyes earlier today. He wasn't meant to look like that. Connor wasn't meant for any of this. He's suffering and you can't do anything! He's slowly changing but you must keep your hopes down because anything can change because ra9 is a bastard and is an emotionless thing that just doesn't see that they're real! But you want to hope, you really want to hope and show Connor about emotions and teach him and just be there for him because he's—he's—

"Doctor (Y/N)? Are you still there?" One of the directors of who the fuck knows anymore asked. You took a deep breath, moving to pet your cat beside you to calm down.

"Yes," you said, swallowing. "And to your earlier question, even someone like me can cause little mistakes. I'm only human. I'm certainly not the only best at CyberLife either."

"That is true but—"

"Look, how about this? I come two days from now, November 10th, so I can properly show the other workers on how to produce Thirium 317?" You suggested, leaning back. A million plans and what if's in your mind, maze atop maze. All the different paths, turns, walls. All the choices at your hand.

Murmurings were heard on the other side of the phone as you waited, patiently as you pet your cat idly. Chloe coming up to you and mouthing if everything was alright while you only nodded with a fleeting smile. Because your mind is just filled and constantly filled with too many thoughts for someone like you. Wondering if you were doing the right thing because your gut felt extremely heavy with doubts. And your throat feeling slightly closed up in apprehension.

Your role isn't to control, but you wish you could. And you will. You hope it doesn't backfire on you because everything will be for naught.

"That is acceptable. I'm sure you'll be able to set everything up without us having to overwatch the whole process?" You weren't surprised that they wish to watch you, you've been slipping with Connor lately. Slipping bad. You're almost at the point where you'll just let everything drop and not care anymore.

Not caring is quite a dangerous thing though. For Connor's sake, always for his sake because he's an android that you can never get angry at whether he can accomplish his missions or not because he's Connor, you should be careful.

You really should.

"Yes," you replied curtly, "but I admit I might come late that day. It is supposed to be my vacation after all and I have to double check certain things before I go."

"We understand. We'll hear from you in two days then."

They then promptly hung up and your thoughts were overcome about numerous things as you stared at your laptop screen that had numerous tabs open, scratching the back of your cat's ears while Chloe came to next to you offering her help as always if needed.

They were supposed to leave you alone after that. So, what can be the reason they've been calling ever since 11 AM today? It's not like you're going to pick up. You have more things to worry about, like your hard drive in your laptop as well as why Connor's stress levels have been high since around. . . The same time CyberLife has been trying to reach you.

Huh.

Did Connor figure it out? Did he tell Hank and this is why CyberLife can't stop bothering me?

You frowned, leaning back against your couch with crossed arms.

"Something wrong, (Y/N)?" Chloe asked, coming to you after she placed cat food on the ground for your cat to eat hungrily. "Is it the phone? They've sure been calling a lot. . ." Her blonde brows furrowed, deep concern spreading all over her face as she gazed at your phone and then at you.

You waved your hand lazily.

"It's nothing. At least, it shouldn't be. . ."you trailed off, unsure. Trying to think back on events today that have come to pass. You frowned. "Maybe. . . I sent David the necessary information to tell the Lieutenant, right?"

Chloe nodded, coming to sit next to quietly.

"Yes, good thing you told him to retire right?" Chloe said, slightly smiling and looking at you in wonder as you only looked up at the ceiling with unreadable eyes as you leaned against the (sofa type) couch. "You were there when he was testing the the new third generation AX400 models and saw Kara for yourself. You still think it wasn't her that had the deviancy code first?"

You were silent for a moment, thinking about the past when you were with David silently note taking and assisting with the keyboard controlled movement of the production machines for the assembly of the AX400 models. You've helped him more then once in fact, shame that no one quite remembers him. His own role is also to sit in the sidelines, a faceless background role.

Such as it is for you.

"No," you finally spoke. "I was with David when he tested other android models. Kara wasn't the first android who had the deviancy code within her. I remember because David said there were more 'memory components off the rails'. Kara wasn't the first, that I'm sure of. Who was the first is another matter entirely."

Chloe blinked those beautiful blue eyes of hers, pursing her lips as she sat next to you with hands fiddling with each other on her thighs.

Perhaps I should give you a coin too?

You released a small smile at the thought of Chloe playing with a coin and doing all the tricks like Connor does. He sure knows how to use that coin well. You're glad that you gave it to him, you really are.

"(Y/N), do you know who the first is?"

You turned towards her, confused.

"How would I know?"

Chloe waved her hands in front of her back and forth, seeming to backpedal with wide eyes. "No, I just—well—you seem to know everything so I just thought—you even helped with the creation of Markus so—"

"So, you think that Markus was the first?" You asked, with a raised brow. She gave a small nod, looking at you. You wanted to sigh.

Chloe may know the most about you and your knowledge, second being Elijah, but even she doesn't know your full extent. Your plans, your choices, just how conniving you really are. Just how far your knowledge, your cursed knowledge, has taken you.

Your plans will hurt people. You've always known this, since the day you've last used the ARI. With some help.

Question is, are you ready to do what's necessary?

Connor, I hope you can forgive me.

"Markus isn't the first," you answered, scratching the back of your neck. "He may be the one leading the android revolution, but he's not the first. I really don't know who it is. I just know that due to androids always trading information to each other with your processors and trading identification data with each other constantly, the coding error if you'd like to call it that, can spread anywhere. Deviancy may have started nine months ago, but I bet you those androids had that deviancy code for years before finally there was a shock strong enough for them to push and break their original programming."

"Oh." Chloe said, LED yellow as she processed all the information you basically threw at her. "Well," she released a small smile, "I'm glad. I'm glad that you grabbed David's arm before Kara was fully disassembled and that you're trying your best to help all of us when you don't have to (Y/N)."

"It's nothing." You replied, turning your gaze towards your laptop to watch Connor's levels and whereabouts.

"What do you mean it's nothing?" Chloe put an arm on your shoulder, but you still did not turn your face her way. "(Y/N), everything you've ever done has always been for us. Everything. You've done your best to help all of us. You always ask me on how Kara and Alice or Markus is doing, you always do. And when you hear something bad might be happening from me, I can tell your heartbeat goes faster. You care. You care for us androids, for all of us, and the majority of us—no, all of us don't even know who you are! But you don't mind and say it's nothing when it's everything. You're everything."

"Really," you said in a whisper, still facing the direction of your laptop even though you're not really seeing it, " it's nothing. I do what anyone would've done."

"'The most important thing is not to live, but to have a reason to live.'" Chloe said, looking at you imploringly as she quoted Jean Giono. "You, without anyone of us knowing, gave us that reason. Gave us soul. You gave us soul, make us think we have a chance. That we're alive. That I'm alive. You—you're amazing. Time and time again you always try your best for all of us. (Y/N), you make us feel real." She put her other hand to her chest, right where her thirium pump regulator is. "Make me feel real. And I'm sure you make Connor feel real too!"

You stayed silent, not knowing what to say. What can you say? Is there really anything to say?

How can you tell Chloe? How can you tell all of them—brown eyes as soft and as pure as chocolate with an awkward smile—any of them?

If he comes, I might break and bend before him, you thought, eyes turning half lidded. Asks the right questions, Connor, and I will splay myself for all to see no matter how horrible and terrible I will seem. I'd do anything for you, Connor. You've always been real to me. Sweet, sweet, and innocent Connor who always tries.

He's always been real to you. Always. Too real.

And it hurts.

"Chloe. . . I—let's not talk about Connor." You turned towards her, giving a smile that you did not feel. Because they're real and it hurts. "And like I've said before, all of you," your voice broke but you cleared your throat to try to stop it from happening once more. "All of you are real, to me. I—I'm just—"

I'm not real.

"You're—you're what?!" Chloe exclaimed.

You blinked.

"Did—damn—did I just say that out loud? You weren't supposed to hear that."

Not yet anyways. The time is coming for everything to come forth. Where are you. . .?

"What do you mean you're not real? Please, don't say that, (Y/N)." Chloe grabbed you into a hug, a nice firm hug and for once, you were at a loss on what to do with your arms.

Like an android that doesn't know but he always tries and tries.

"You're real, I don't know what could make you say such a thing. No, even think it. " She pulled back, perfect slim hands still on your shoulders, blue eyes staring doe eyed at you while you could only look to the side. "Don't say that again! You helped the Lieutenant and Connor a little while ago by having David tell them where Kamski is so please don't say that you aren't real! If it weren't for you—."

You widened your eyes.

"Hold on!" Chloe stopped obediently, but still looked at you with worry. But you were glancing at your phone that has gotten too many call notifications in the last few hours. "Wait. . . That's right. Elijah. . .!"

You then quickly turned towards your laptop, carefully putting Chloe's hand down from your shoulders to move closer to your laptop that was on the coffee table. You checked the history of Connor's stress levels.

"That. . . It makes sense! Connor met up with Elijah, that means they did the test! But why. . ." You moved your dominant hand, biting the nail of your thumb in thought. "CyberLife started calling afterwords. . .does that mean that Connor didn't pass the test and CyberLife thinks he has an error?" Your eyes flitted towards Chloe, and you didn't have to say a word before she closed her eyes and started connecting to her fellow ST200 that's trapped, LED flashing yellow with her eyelids fluttering.

"Connor failed the test." Chloe informed, opening her eyes and you tried to control your heart from soaring at the news. You can not put your hopes up. You can not. "And if you were wondering, Markus just did a peaceful march and Kara and Alice are traveling with a nice woman named Rose."

This is good. This is really good

Too good to be true really.

What are you doing, ra9? Are you playing with me? I bet you're enjoying my suffering aren't you? Getting off on it, you sick thing?

You shook your dark thoughts away, focusing on your laptop screen that had Connor's stress levels and heart levels. They were. . .higher then you expected. You understood that Connor's changes will make his programming cause a stir and try to fight back the new feelings he must be getting with each mission of event happening, but is it supposed to be this high?

"That's good Chloe, but there's something. . ." You clicked on the tab, making it full screen hence showing Connor's location.

You widened your eyes.

"What—"

A knock resounded in your door. Chloe moved to get up but you scrambled towards the door before she could do so after you closed your laptop, all while blue eyes looked at you confusingly and your cat meowing at you in surprise. You opened the door.

"Hey Miss Doctor (Y/N)," Lieutenant Hank Anderson greeted with a nod of his head, serious. "We gotta few important questions for you that you apparently have all the answers to."

Connor stood to the side, looking at you with LED flashing yellow, brows furrowed. Always so furrowed. And so confused.

Always so lost, Connor.

"May we come in, Doctor?" Hank asked, motioning his head to the inside of your house. Connor met your (e/c) eyes, and then looked away, swallowing.

You gave a slow nod, still trying to process all this. You moved to give them access within your house.

"Please, come in."

Hank walked in, glancing at you with brows down and a frown. Connor was next, avoiding your gaze with LED still yellow and you only looked at him sadly as he walked in, your cat immediately coming to rub themselves on his legs. His thoughts must be heavy, because he didn't even stop to pet your cat and instead started looking around your place along with Hank who was making commentary you couldn't quite hear because your ears didn't seem to be working as you gazed at Connor's back. You don't. . . you don't like staring at his back.

Forgive me, Connor.

You were never meant to be in control. Be in the spotlight. You were supposed to be in the sidelines, benched.

Forgotten.

That was your role, to be constantly forgotten and in the background for no one to truly see. To not have a worthy enough role, you tried telling Elijah the same thing but he didn't quite understand. You're probably the only thing he couldn't quite figure out. Despite him looking at you like a bizarre experiment, you still cared for the man.

But people just don't understand. They don't truly know.

Not even Elijah. Not Chloe. Not. . . Connor.

Things weren't supposed to be this way.

For this, truly isn't your story.

. . . ◎ . . . ◉ . . . ◎ . . . ◉ . . . ◎ . . .

You've always been confusing.

"This cat of yours sure likes Connor, huh Doc?" Hank commented as he leaned against the wall by the TV. Connor right by him as they both watched you, you deciding to sit and continue those nervous taps of yours. Your cat continued to purr against his legs and throwing itself against his feet but Connor did not look at the cat.

"Yeah. . . I guess you can say he's a natural animal listener." You said smiling, looking at him but all Connor could do is try to look over your shoulder and not directly at you.

He can't meet your gaze. He doesn't know what to think.

When does he know anything when he's near you? Why do you always do this? Make him think, make him feel?

What is this feeling in his chest? Like his thirium pump regulator is having a difficult time pumping his blood?

You knew all along. You knew the answers to my investigation but you kept it from me, (Y/N). Why?

Connor wants to know. He also wants to know his pump regulator has been having difficulties since Kamski's revelation of your knowledge.

He wants to know. He needs to know.

From my observations, you love me. Connor thought as he observed Chloe come into the room and stand behind the couch you were sitting on, dutifully there. The both of you exchange a look when you turned her head towards her, you giving her one of those 'not smiles' that you do. He's sure he heard Hank curse to himself that these androids are everywhere. I do not know what to do, (Y/N).

"No one else can tell? Those not smiles you've been showing is easy to decipher between a real one. Do your fellow co-workers have problems with observing their surroundings? Humans themselves should be able to discern smiles, the majority of you do it all the time."

You chuckled weakly, flicking your eyes up at him.

"No, Connor. Just you. Always you. You're. . ." You paused, biting your lip and glancing away to the side. "You're more than I originally imagined, Connor. Way more."

How long have you known? What is Connor even doing, he should start questioning you and make sure that what Kamski said was false.

Or true. But that would make you a liar and an enemy of CyberLife. A target for me to. . .to what?

He's never felt inner turmoil before, but this must be the closest thing a machine like him can get.

"Doctor (Y/N)," he managed and your eyes drifted back towards him a look passing through them. There's always a look passing through them he can never manage to catch. "Like the Lieutenant stated earlier, we have questions. Questions that came up after we spoke to Kamski to try to investigate if he knows how the deviancy of androids started."

"And he didn't tell you?" You asked, raising a brow. "I guarantee you Elijah knew the answers to your questions."

"Yeah," Hank scoffed, "I bet that sicko did. But he wanted Connor to shoot a defenseless girl for the information." Yes, one eerily similar to the one you have behind you. All Connor sees are blue eyes looking at him, waiting for him to decide her fate. And Connor can't help but feel failure once more. "That's not important right now though, you see Doc, your old weird friend said you've been hiding stuff from me and Connor here. Now, is that true?"

"Yes."

Connor's eyes widened. He didn't expect the bluntness, honestly, he never is able to predict your actions and words. You're just like that. . .unpredictable.

"Shit," Hank put a hand to his face, "I got another fucking headache. Unless that sick fuck was right. . ." He muttered the last part, probably too quiet to catch. But he wants to find out as well if Kamski's words hold truth.

Connor stepped forward, looking at you now. The both of your eyes met and he doesn't know what to do now. He's always looked at you, when hasn't he? He's looked at you, observed you, and analyzed you. Similar to how you look at him.

You've always looked at me.

"Doctor (Y/N), this is a serious matter." Connor stated, watching your reaction. "If you've been withholding information that would be a serious offense both towards the DPD and CyberLife. How long have you had this information? Since your experimentation with the ARI?"

He wants to believe that Kamski is wrong, confused. He really does. But that goes against his programming. Then again, everything the past few days have gone against his programming. Connor can only look at you, like he's always done, with furrowed brows and a frown. LED flashing yellow that he can not fathom the reason why.

You've always been confusing. . .but have you always lied too? Where has your warmth and kindness gone?

He doesn't understand.

You leaned forward when he asked that, elbows on your knees as you looked down. A not small smile on your face.

"Elijah said that huh? What else did he say if you don't mind me asking, Connor?"

He opened his mouth, ready to do so cause he's always listened to you. Not your commands, but your wishes and advice. You've never commanded him. Never.

But I thought you never lied to me either.

"Nope, we're asking the questions Doc. Although it'd be nice to have you answer fuckin confusing questions that came up after Kamski." Hank went again to rub his face, it seems Kamski's revelations about yourself is putting a strain on the Lieutenant. "Ugh, you know what? Yeah, we got questions for ya. Might make this migraine that's hammering my head go away." He put his hand down, and stared you down from his spot on the wall. "Why don't you have a last name? I mean, shit, fuck—Kamski was right. You forget. . .this is fucking crazy."

It is.

It seems Kamski was correct on the fact that not only one forgets your last name, but once one realizes they don't know it, they forget to ask you about it as well. That's what Connor gathered from their conversation but it raised more questions then answers. Frankly because his maker's words did not make any sort of sense even to an advanced prototype like him.

"I believe what the Lieutenant saying is," he cut in, "Is that Kamski informed us on your. . .fog?" At your silence he continued, trying to catch your gaze as you still looked down, tapping your knees with your hands. "A fog that somehow affects everyone around you, android and human included. A regression of memory within the limbic system part of the brain that is responsible for holding said memories but if a human or android tries to recall your surname—" He tried to look back on what Kamski said, what was your last name? He closed his eyes as his circuits and processors were going haywire, but he wants to know your name. He wants to know. He doesn't want to forget. Connor doesn't want to forget. But you've known information, you've been hiding but—

You've always been. . .you've always been.

He opened his eyes, brown eyes staring at you from where he stood, LED flashing red.

"Doctor (Y/N) (L/N)." He said, LED back to blue once he said it. And you finally looked at him, mouth agape. Hank looked at him wide eyed as well.

"Holy shit."

"I. . .you—you remembered?" You sat up, blinking shimmering eyes. Your eyes are always shimmering. Do they shimmer more with lies then warmth?

I need to stop this. I'm questioning (Y/N), my creator. I shouldn't question her. This is wrong. This feels wrong. (Y/N) cares for me.

But he's not supposed to feel. And you were never supposed to hide information for his investigation either. In addition and most importantly, it doesn't matter what you feel for he's just a machine. . .

He really doesn't understand.

Connor nodded at your question, swallowing unnecessarily as you gazed at him with those familiar eyes with warmth and gentleness and he doesn't know what to do. He needs help.

"Kamski stated, or at least insinuated, that androids seem to be more resistant to the fog." His head turned towards Chloe, who was looking at him with her head tilted. "I'm sure Chloe here has been able to remember your surname from her time with you."

"It took years for me to remember," Chloe said, looking down at you before gazing back at him, tone seeming to be in shock. "And sometimes it slips by. I can never get a full grasp on it. You, Connor," the ST200 gave him a small smile, "really are a special android. You remember what most people forget."

Connor stayed silent. But his brown gaze moved towards you, and once again, your eyes met with his. He feels like you're speaking with your eyes again, like that time when he successfully had you take a nap in the Tower. You knew that he wouldn't have hurt you to force rest on you, you knew. He still doesn't know why or how.

"You're amazing," your eyes seem to say, as they glittered at him with something he is not programmed to feel. Your right brow then arched at him, looking at him, hinting at him.

"You're missing things, " You said, releasing your gaze from him as you looked up. He wished you didn't, like he wished that you didn't get up and leave his side when you were fixing him two days ago after Eden Club. "It's not only that. You guys are actually missing quite a lot." The thought of them not having the information that which you clearly have seemed to bother you because you frowned as you looked at the ceiling.

"Oh yeah? Would you enlighten us then Doc?" Hank asked, tone turning sarcastic. His irritation must be growing at the lack of clear answers from you. You're being vague. "Tell us what you know."

Your lips turned down further at his words, moving your head to look at the Lieutenant who still was leaning with crossed arms at the wall besides your TV.

"Tell you what exactly? You haven't been asking the right questions."

"Doctor (Y/N), anything would be helpful. Anything at all," Connor said, brows down as your gaze then turned towards him. "I'm sure everything with CyberLife and the DPD can be resolved if you can help us further our investigation. We—I—we need you." He almost slipped but you caught it, because with a quick scan your heart rate went up a bit and your frown quirked up a bit instead while your gaze turned to the side. "RA9, deviancy, or the location of Jericho or anything else that can possibly help us. Perhaps even what you saw with your remodeled version of the ARI?"

A few beats of silence passed and then you sighed, putting a hand to your face.

You're troubled. Is the information troubling?

Connor can read you easily, your mannerisms anyways and how you display them for him to see. You still have that unpredictability, but he can always tell when you're tired or have heavy shoulders from your burdens at CyberLife Tower. He always figured it was due to your heavy work load that made you look the world was upon your shoulders, but maybe it actually is. This information, it's caused you stress.

I want to help you, (Y/N). He thought, gazing at you as he tried to hold a neutral expression in your presence. But you've got to tell me what's wrong. I must accomplish my mission. You should understand. Shouldn't you?

"What's in a story?" You asked behind your hand, making him and Hank blink at you in confusion. "In a life? What are they both filled with?"

Hank and him shared a look, and all he could is give a small shake of the head with a shrug at the Lieutenant's silent question.

"Doc, forgive me for being blunt, but what are you fuckin talking about?" Hank asked, shaking his head and stepping away from the wall, still with crossed arms. "I know you still don't really like me, and I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. Truly. So if you're doing this to mess with me I suggest for you to stop, time's running out for both me and Connor here to solve this investigation."

"And I ask again, what's in a life? A story?" You continued, eyes still hidden behind your hand. "When you're in a maze, what do you have to do when there are two different directions in front of you?"

He doesn't understand. He really doesn't understand you, but he's really trying his best to do so. For his Creator, for you, he'll always try.

You've always been confusing.

"There are choices." He answered, LED blinking blue. "You have to pick between left or right in the maze."

An image of a wall filled with labyrinths entered his mind, and his brows turned towards each other.

"Wait, does this have to do with RA9, (Y/N)?" Hank turned towards him, brows up in interest.

"What does that weird question have to do with RA9?"

"The deviant that was in the apartment, with the birds. The walls were covered with images of labyrinths, his diary was also encrypted. At least, that's what it seems like. The diary was just filled with labyrinths or mazes that was slightly different to the ones in the walls, each page unique to the other," He summarized, moving his arm to display the thinking pose before releasing it as his eyes turned back towards you. You seemed to be smiling under your hand, but he couldn't quite tell.

It seemed like it was. . . a prideful smile?

A real one. A real smile. He, he likes those smiles.

"I do not look like that when I smile. You're supposed to pull your lips up, up Connor! Not just back! And I would like to tell you that I have a pretty smile, I'm absolutely positive it can even rival a fashion model's. Look," you grinned, pointing at your mouth in enthusiasm as his chocolate eyes followed the motion, "my teeth even sparkle!"

Connor bowed his head, and if he was someone else, you were sure he was mocking you. You think you even see his lips giving the smallest of twitches. "Of course, Doctor (Y/N). You after all are a genius among CyberLife, who knows what a perfect human's smile looks like besides you?"

Connor likes those smiles, but it still left him feeling odd. Isn't he supposed to be in turmoil? You lied, or rather did not speak when he has told you about his findings so is it really a lie? You're who've you always been. Yes?

He doesn't understand.

"Yes, there are choices." You said, softly. Always so soft. You leave him leaning in towards you when you speak like that when he doesn't need to, his auditory receptors are sensitive. But you make him want to anyways. "In stories there are choices. Same thing with life. Just like there are certain roles in each story that everyone needs to play, a character."

"Roles? Story? Please don't tell me you're going to be as cryptic as National Treasure like Kamski was being." Hank questioned, face in a scowl. "Cause then me and Connor will be on our way, we've got work to do."

He can't leave. Not yet.

Connor turned his head towards the Lieutenant.

"No. I want to hear what Doctor (Y/N) has to say, she doesn't state things like this for no reason."

At least, that's what he's observed from you in his time knowing you. It sure has been awhile hasn't it? Since he first opened his eyes and scanned you the first time.

Even back then, you were. . .

Hank looked at him, eyes moving across his face. He then sighed, muttering about love sick poodles and motioned his hand for you to continue. Which you did, still with your face hidden with your hand. But you began nervously tapping with the other in an off rhythm.

"Now imagine, a place where you don't have a choice." You continued from where you left off. "Imagine somewhere where you're a main character written for a story, and you don't have a choice on what you say or do because the author is the one who controls everything. The main character doesn't have a choice on what they can do because the author has the narrative down to a T and thinks they can control the character as they please, it's theirs isn't it? So they have every right to control the scenes, the dialogue, the themes, the main character's tragic past that is unique to their story."

"Yeah, because the main character isn't a real person." Hank commented, seeming to have calmed. "The author created the main character, so they can do whatever they want with them for the benefit of the story."

"Ah," you released your hand from your face, but did not moved your head up to look at Hank, choosing to keep your head on the backrest cushion. "But you see, I said imagine on how you would feel if you were the main character. Like you were aware of choices aren't really your own and events that are always tragic but aren't your fault even though it seems like it is."

Connor really wishes he could look through his creator's complex and fast moving mind. Because then maybe he would be able to understand where you're going with this.

And why you were keeping secrets from me. Don't you trust me, (Y/N)? Why didn't you tell me? Do you think I've been starting to deviate from the start and that's why you've kept silent? Why don't you tell me? Please, please tell me (Y/N). All of this is causing my programs and thirium pump regulator to stir and I don't know why.

"Just," you rubbed your thumb on his cheek, (e/c) eyes watery with a broken crumple of a smile, "I hope you can forgive me."

His brows furrowed as Hank slowly released his answer.

"How would I feel if I know this being is controlling everything in my life? Fuckin pissed and worthless honestly, like I'm just a kid's toy to be played with. For their entertainment and they get to do their bidding because who can stop them?"

You gave the smallest of nods, finally moving your head to look at them. Chloe still behind the couch, now looking at the back of your head with worry etched on her face. As well as confusion.

She doesn't know where you're going with this either? I'm not the only one you've kept secrets from it seems, (Y/N).

He needs to stop. Just to stop. All the information he's gained today he's entering within his memory files must be too much for his processors to handle.

But, Connor just wants to understand.

"Yes, sort of like a god, don't you think?"

Connor's brows furrowed deep as he took a step forward, lips parted in total bewilderment.

"Wait, so RA9 being some sort of myth or god to deviant androids is true? Is that what you're suggesting?" Connor didn't hide his confusion nor his realization that his and Hank's talk last night might hold a semblance of truth. Not like he could hide anything from you anyways. You always seem to know what he's thinking or feeling, but it's not only that. He doesn't like hiding. Not from his creator. From you.

Too bad you could not give me the same courtesy.

"No," you answered, and Connor's shoulders relaxed. Good, he wouldn't know what to do about something that's just a symbol or ray of hope for androids gone deviants. There's always a science behind it, he's sure his creator can explain it because his creator is—"about it being one god. There's actually multiple RA9's out there."

If possible, Connor's eyes widened more then ever before. You're—you're suggesting—

"(Y/N)? What is this?" Chloe asked moving her body around the couch and kneeled by your legs. "You haven't spoken about this to me. You've known what—who—RA9 is the whole time? Why didn't you tell me?" She was hurt, he could tell, but he was still whirling from your words.

"I treat you like I would treat any other decent living being. And" you glanced up at him, brows furrowed far too down and eyes far too slanted. "Yes, it will be horrible for me. I just hope you can forgive me." You turned your face back into chest and tightened your hold around him once more.

He doesn't understand.

"Now hold on a damn second. You saying RA9 is actually a real person? People? Gods or whatever?" Hank moved his arms, spreading them out. "What the heck does that mean?!"

"RA9, it controls all here. But it mostly controls three certain androids. Or rather they, these androids don't have a choice on the actions they commit." You answered, unperturbed by the chaos slowly forming around you. You only gazing at Connor as he could only stare wide eyed. You were trying to get a read on him, and a flash of an apologetic look came across your face.

He doesn't understand.

"These androids are RA9's main characters to play with, constantly. They're the author of the three different stories and can get to do what they want, and pick and choose a million and one different choices to explore and watch." You continued, not wanting to look away from Connor. He hopes you didn't either, because he's trying to get a read on you. To see if you're lying.

You're not. You're not lying.

"Uh—yeah, sorry. But your shit is as confusing as Kamski's. Connor let's go, we're leaving." Hank moved towards him to grab his arm, a hand to his forearm but Connor wrenched it away.

"No!" He exclaimed, not wishing to take his eyes off of you. Not for one second. He doesn't want to. "Lieutenant, Doctor (Y/N) isn't lying. She's telling the truth. (Y/N)," he's losing the ability to care that CyberLife is watching and you seem to be too because you aren't hiding your true personality from him like usual. "Did you learn all this with the ARI? The ARI you remodeled with assistance of an android? What androids did you see that you say RA9 is controlling? You didn't take Triptocaine for it did you?" He was showing concern, but of course he is because you're his Creator and he's always respected you. Admired you. He can't help it. But you kept things from him, you lied. Your kindness, warmth, and soft touches came upon his memory files.

He nodded in affirmation, then titling his head. "Are you worried?" At your questioning look, he pointed at the spot between your brows. "You haven't stopped wrinkling your brows since you first saw me, and your stress levels are quite high and it was not caused by you running over here to give me your farewell. Are you doubting me?"

You quirked your lips up. "You?" You then did what you've been yearning for once more, ever since that day in the park. You grabbed his hand, squeezing it. "Never." Connor looked down at your hands, LED blinking blue.

He doesn't understand. But he wishes he did. Just to make this stop.

Your lips turned down when he said the drug. "Ugh, no. There were too many side effects with that drug and it was probably used on its users for them to be easily controlled or taken out by the government. For your other questions," you sighed, Chloe putting her hand over yours. An act of kindness and reassurance no doubt. "The ARI. . .it made me realize a lot. Why I'm here. Or rather, not here. Not really. It made me see why people don't remember me, why it always seemed like to me that they didn't care to remember me when it really wasn't their fault." You let out chuckle with no humor as you looked down, both him and Hank deciding to stay silent. Mostly because all of this was too much and Connor does not wish to interrupt you once again.

You're saying everything I'm asking so far. Would you answer me if I asked you if you loved me?

His LED flashed yellow, then red, then back to yellow. Him blinking at his thoughts and pushing it away, something is seriously malfunctioning within him. Maybe he can ask you to look over him?

His LED flashed red once more before going back to blue.

"The android I was with, a KL900 model that I chose because of their careful insights about the mind, I sadly had to let her go and reset her. She's doing her own role in all of this." You continued, uncaring about Hank's mutter about 'stupid roles and story metaphor shit'. "She has shared the burden of my knowledge, knowing and being aware of the character she would play long before the events would come forth to pass. My role though, my role has always been to never be in the spotlight. To be benched and never seen. To not be remembered. To not be real."

"Uh—Doc—Let's not get philosophical here, of course you're real. You ain't that type of Doctor. I can't believe that nut job has told the truth so far." Hank muttered, trying his best to comfort you as he rubbed his arm. At a loss on what to do.

"Stop saying that, (Y/N)!" Chloe gasped, squeezing your hand with hers while Connor stared at the interaction, unblinkingly but with down turned brows. He doesn't like what you're saying either. "I told you to stop with that, you're real to me. To us. To Connor." Chloe turned her head towards him, giving him a silent look.

Connor stepped forward once more to his Creator, now next to Chloe's kneeled form as he stood and looked down at you. You who lied to him, didn't share necessary information for his investigation, who's kept all of this within your head for so long your mind is starting to waver.

Connor moved another step, to be on your free side, and kneeled with one knee.

You've always been confusing. But you're many things too. The information must've weighed heavy on you, (Y/N). You're my creator, it's my job to take care of you and I've failed. Will you forgive me of this too?

"(Y/N), you're my creator. You've always been real to me. From the moment all my parts were assembled thanks to you, you've been real." Connor said, gentle. Like how you're always gentle with him. Your tired eyes moved up towards him. "You've done too many things to not be real. Perhaps we should do this another time—".

No, what am I doing? I have to find out everything you know. For my mission. What am I doing?

He really doesn't understand what's happening anymore.

"No, Connor." You interrupted, moving your free right hand to graze his cheek and he froze, looking at you. He's so confused but you've always been warm. "You've been asking the right questions so far. Let me finish. Just listen. All of you." At everyone's slow nods, you moved on. Taking back your hand from his cheek that was causing his programming to stir slightly like it always does when he's near you and you do this. Why did you stop? "The question you asked Connor, about who are the androids that are being controlled by the multiple RA9's is Kara, an AX400—"

The AX400 that possibly got away in the high way?

"—Markus, a RK200 that was a prototype model made by Elijah and little assistance by me—"

Markus, the name of the revolutionary leader. The one who led that peaceful march today at 12 PM but some of his group was still shot at. RA9 is powerful with this one.

"—and finally, you. You, Connor."

Connor's LED flashed yellow, looking at you with round eyes as you stared back with a somber look.

This—that can't be possible? Him? Being controlled by RA9? For how long?

"I know it's confusing but—"

"Are you saying that my partner here has been controlled by RA9? What kind of—there's no way! Connor has been with me only outside of you the last few days." Hank motioned his arms towards him, while Connor tried to recollect where errors or his programs started to react oddly. "There's no way RA9 grabbed ahold of him!"

"(Y/N), are you sure?" Chloe asked, moving her hand atop yours to your upper left arm. "This, this is a big thing to say. The ARI showed you this?"

"It showed me a lot more then this." You answered, not turning away from Connor despite Hank's continued muttering and shouts that this whole thing is crazy and his head is really starting to hurt from all this 'crazy shit'. "And you wouldn't be able to tell Hank, RA9 are basically gods. Unseeable. Untraceable. Listen, hey, listen Connor. Look at me please." He is looking at you, it's just he's trying to self-diagnose but nothing critical or odd has come up in his third checkup. Nonetheless, he stopped, and focused on you.

You were looking at him, brows wrinkled with pursed lips. You put a hand against his cheek.

CyberLife is watching. They're watching this. But. . . I. . .

"Connor, you're alright." You comforted, thumb rubbing his cheek as he stared at your face. He always stared at you, looked at you. Like how you do so with him. What does it mean? He doesn't understand. "Look, you're okay. There's many ways so far that it could've gone down, paths and choices that were far more horrible then this one, with mazes upon mazes. I'm not sure what would've happened to me if said choices came to pass but you've done good, Connor." You released a small smile at him, his eyes moved towards the movement and then back up at your always gentle eyes that crinkle when you do a real smile as his programs stirred within him and his thirium filled veins felt strange.

"You love me."

Your jaw dropped, hand stopping from grazing his cheek. Chloe's eyes widened and looked over at him and Hank—Hank choked on air.

"I—that wasn't. I wasn't supposed to ask that yet." Connor tried his best to fix what he said, but he's clearly failing. He looked at you, at a loss and then over at Hank. Hank, who was starting to walk out the room. "Lieutenant—"

"I'll be over at the front door when you're done, Connor. Would you like—uh—would you like to come with me—um miss?"

Chloe looked at you, but you were glancing to the side. Trying to make your face hidden. She smiled and stood up.

"Of course, Lieutenant. Let me escort you."

"Err—yeah. Sure. Whatever."

They both walked out of the living room, leaving the both of you alone. Connor was staring down, looking at his hands that kept moving. He needs to play with his coin to calibrate his functions properly it seems, he can't focus like this. Not with your eyes now looking at him so strongly.

He doesn't know what to do.

"I'm going to do a quick check up on you again, make sure everything is alright." Connor nodded, and his jacket and shirt were gone quickly before he know it. Metal plate of his shoulder open as you put a similar chip from a hard drive inside and closed the plate. His LED flashed yellow, and you threw yourself on top of him once more, hands on his synthetic skin as the three minute limit started. You were rubbing his neck, soothingly. Gently. You're so gentle. So different from other humans.

You've always been different.

"(Y/N), I apologize if I was blunt but my analyzations of your actions towards me has caused me to—"

You shushed him, your breath hitting his ear as you did so. It tickled. Do androids get tickled?

He doesn't know. He doesn't understand anything.

"Connor, I'm so sorry. There's still more I know but the time hasn't come yet." You said, squeezing him as you gave out a sigh. He carefully put his hands on your back, wondering on what he should do with them since your using your own hands to rub his backside. "The time will come where everything will be fine and both our roles are finished, okay? I promise you that, Connor."

He put his hands on your shoulders, pushing you away despite the warmth you've given off. The warmth you've always given off near him. Because you're another thing entirely.

You've always been confusing.

"You know where Jericho is? How deviancy started?"

You nodded.

"You won't tell me?"

You shook your head, frowning at him. "You must find it yourself, my role isn't that important enough to reveal such information."

"But you are." He replied earnestly, his brown eyes looking at your now confused ones. "You are important. You're my creator. You've always been important to me, Doctor (Y/N)."

You gave a shaky smile and an equally shaky chuckle. "Back to titles, huh? And I was starting to get used to it, dork. Why do you always gotta say such things with such a look on your face?"

His brows furrowed, confused.

"What?"

You giggled, eyes watery. "There. There it is. Never change, ya hear? And don't you leave me either. "

"Connor. . .please don't ever go."

"Please don't change either." You grabbed his hand, and tightened. Making him glimpse at it only for you to use your other hand to touch his cheek. "Please."

"(Y/N), I'm not going anywhere." He promised and you looked at him with such warmth he was sure that he should be overheating. Why has he ever doubted you? You, you have your reasons for everything you do. You didn't tell him for a reason, it has to be why. His creator simply isn't the lying sort. And if the ARI made you see all these things, then he can not imagine how it has affected your mind. He grasped that RA9 somehow controls him and two other androids, but all the other information did not make sense or was able to fit due to his scientifically wired programming. Gods? The ARI didn't need that drug, it just took pieces of logic within you to make you say odd things. Nonetheless, he believes you wholeheartedly. For your sake.

Always for your sake.

"You got something you wanna ask me, Connor?" You asked, teasing as your brow arched at him while you continued to rub the back of his neck in a relaxing manner. "You sort of blurted out your thoughts instead of asking me."

He parted his lips, wondering how possibly he could ask the question right. And how to properly tell you that he is simply incapable of feeling the same way. Doing so, reacting or reciprocating your light touches and soothing smiles that always make him question, would turn him deviant. He can't. He just can't.

I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do, (Y/N). He thought, brown eyes looking at your (e/c) ones. You're already aware that if I fail my missions I'll be taken back to CyberLife and be deactivated. I don't know what to do about your emotions towards me that cause my processors to not work correctly nor about your refusal of telling me the information you know. But you have your reasons, you must have your reasons. You're (Y/N). His creator.

"Do you hold strong affection towards me, (Y/N)?" He finally released, hoping that was the right way to ask. You shook your head, smiling kindly and patiently at him as he tilted his head. Your hands moving to his cheeks.

Always patient.

"Wrong way to ask Connor, the word. Use the word. The real word." You emphasized, gazing at him as you rubbed your thumbs against his cheeks with a touch as light as a feather.

"I. . .(Y/N), do you care for me?" He tried again, lips twitching upwards in hope that would probably enough.

Again, you shook your head at him. Your hair following the movement with your head. Nice (hair color) (long/short) hair that is sure to be soft as you.

"You know the word, Connor. The word you used. The exact one. Go on," you leaned forward, head bumping against his and all Connor could do was stare. Uncaring as his programmings started to go wild and how inappropriate this is between android and human. Between his Creator and himself. You're too. . .you're you.

He swallowed, lips slipping into a nervous pout.

"Of course. Do you. . .(Y/N), do you love me?" He gazed up at you, still leaning on the ground as you were basically over him due to your position atop the couch.

You gave the most beautiful and yet saddening smile Connor has ever seen.

And then you kissed him.

Well, not a real kiss. According to the strict definition of the word. Your lips were on the corner of his, softly pressing against it. Always so soft. So gentle. So kind. And yet, so. . .mournful. He's supposed to pull away, but he's curious. Curious on why the blood within his synthetic veins are pumping as you held your lips there on the corner of his mouth.

You then pulled away, hands still on his cheeks, giving one last rub as he looked up at you with curious eyes before you fully pulled away.

"You've received your answer, Connor." You said, moving to open the plate again before the time limit has run out. "When you know yours, truly know yours and feel like you're ready to understand—come back to me. Alright?"

Connor blinked, then nodded. Tingling lips quirking to a small smile. The smile he's practiced on how to do with you, this time with no teeth showing.

"I'll always come back to my creator."

His LED flashed yellow, and he knew the Zen Garden interface was back. You quickly took your chip back and closed the plate, him putting back on his clothes that didn't get too wrinkled. Once he was done, you escorted him to the door where Hank and Chloe were waiting. You waved at him goodbye while he slowly did the same as he walked besides Hank who kept glancing at him to your front lawn to get back to Hank's car. Once they were both in and you closed the door, Hank leaned towards him from the drivers seat, elbow on the seat's arm.

"So, Doc huh?"

He chose to stay silent, but one can not deny his lips were quirked up into a confused smile. Hank chuckles before they started driving off.

(Y/N), one day I will understand. I will try to. Without becoming deviant. I'll try to understand. Anything for you. You've always been kind.

. . . ◎ . . . ◉ . . . ◎ . . . ◉ . . . ◎ . . .

. . . ◎ . . . ◉ . . . ◎ . . . ◉ . . . ◎ . . .

. . . ◎ . . . ◉ . . . ◎ . . . ◉ . . . ◎ . . .

Everything is still not meant to be revealed~ But I think I revealed too much here honestly ^.^'

Oh, and mind you, I have watched all the shorts released by Quantic Dream. If you wish to understand Reader's POV better, I suggest you to watch them. Mostly Kara's and Elijah's. I put a name to Kara's engineer guy~

KL900 model, was reset and sent back to be sold. Only to have a role of her own, and somehow still has memories on what she saw with you with the ARI. . .

Connor is trying. He's almost there guys! Remember! No real thing until he becomes FULLY deviant!

RA9, sure a mystery huh?

At the end of this story, I suggest for you guys to go back and read it again. The Reader has released numerous hints from the beginning, of course, you can reread now but once the story is done and finished is when things get good~ ^//////^

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR CONCERN FOR ME!!

Too bad I thrive at night and just beat my record on longest time I've stayed up late, it's now 12 PM!! What a record! I'm going to knock out now, hope all of you enjoy.

Please comment and vote ^///^