Status : Available

Title : Ergo Sum

Timeline : preCW — CW — RotS

Love Interest : Ahsoka Tano

OC Name : Anika 'Nika' Xsui

CAST

Anika 'Niks' Xsui portrayed by Moon Ga-young

THE ONE WHO LOVED FIRST
"Because I can't keep any kind of peace if my heart is raging against me."

Ahsoka 'Snips' Tano portrayed by Laura Harrier

THE ONE WHO SAW LATE
"I can feel the distance growing, and it hurts because I know that I'm the one who left."

ALSO FEATURING

Obi-Wan Kenobi portrayed by Ewan McGregor
THE MASTER WHO KNEW IT ALL

Anakin Skywalker portrayed by Hayden Christiansen
THE JEDI WHOM FAILED

The Clones portrayed by themselves
THE MEN THAT FOUGHT BESIDE THEM

Darian Ieve portrayed by Michael Rainey Jr.
THE FRIEND WHO SAW THEM

PLOT

"Ergo Sum," the old Latin phrase falls from Anika's lips easily. It's one of the languages she's been studying in the temple, and oh how her stubborn heart continues to push her attention from her studies.
Being raised in the temple before the prospect of war was even a thought was peaceful for the young girl, becoming a young Jedi in an age where many knew that she would excel in times of peace meant she could succeed through everything. The snarky tongued girl had a fighting spirit yet a peacekeepers heart. Only peace had no wish to remain in her galaxy, and the Clone Wars began between the Separatists and Republicans just as she turns twelve. As a trainee Jedi, Anika shudders at the prospect of a coming war and begin to dedicate more time to her studies and the medbay that begins to fill up quicker as the war picks up.

Anika finds little relief as she is thrust into the war effort on the same day as her friends Ahsoka Tano and Darian Ieve. Especially with her Master who is more reckless than one could assume, and Obi-Wan is sure he can teach his timid padawan how to branch out and learn to be bold after keeping Anakin Skywalker alive for the last eight years.
Except Obi-Wan soon discovers that Anika is more stubborn than Anakin ever could be once she sets her mind on something. Only a man who had once been so deeply in love before could easily see the admiring shine in his padawan's eyes when she sees the young togruta padawan by his past padawan's side.

Raging battles, heart-wrenching losses, and days where the end is no where in sight pass by Anika on the front, her medic history coming into more use than she soon believes it could ever have been stuck in the temple. Anika learns from her master more than she thought she would; she learns of honor and sacrifice, she learns what it truly means to be a Jedi, and Anika realizes with frightening clarity that she's fallen into the trap of the dark side that her master tells her he once fell to - love.
And her love - Ahsoka Tano.
Anika see's her friend in a new light, gorgeous and threatening. Her smile makes Nika's heart do cartwheels and Ahsoka's touch makes Anika's stomach flutter with a million butterflies. Anika never wants her heart to stop beating in its flurry for Ahsoka.

It's beyond overwhelming and full of immortal-like life that she can't believe that love is of the dark side until she meets Lux Bonteri, or better yet when she see's Ahsoka looking at Lux Bonteri.
Bitter jealousy and rage colors Anika green at the adoration in Ahsoka's eyes as they watch the brunett boy strut through life. Darkness rips through and shatters Anika's vision into scraps of hate and anger. Confusion fills her soul to the brim as desperation hauntingly whispers again and again in her ears as a phantom, 'you aren't enough for her.'

Anika confesses to her master of her feelings, and of course Obi-Wan knows. He's always known of his padawan's feelings. Yet what shocks him are her pleas to end the butterflies and the cartwheels. Anika Xsui wants to take her beating heart and turn it to stone. She begs for her heart to be frozen of its love and admiration so that all of her anger and jealousy leave as well.

For Anika Xsui has always seen Ahsoka Tano as a burning light in her darkness, until Ahsoka becomes the dark temptations that Anika desperately wants to be free of again. But with the absence of Anika Xsui constantly by her side, Ahsoka Tano finally sees Nika Xsui as her lifeline. As her reason to keep going.
Unfortunately though, Ahsoka may have realized her feelings too late for Anika to ever thaw her heart and reciprocate her love for her light again.

EXTRA INFORMATION

— Nika has been at the Jedi temple on Coruscant since she was four, growing up alongside other younglings Darian Ieve and Ahsoka Tano

— Anika and Ahsoka are extremely close, and slept in the same bunk bed as kids since they couldn't stand sleeping alone when they were little.
— Their late night talks extend to daylight and their spars can go for multiple rounds until a victor is obvious. The two stay this close up until they are assigned Masters (they slowly fall apart as the seasons go)

— Darian is the guy in their trio, him and his master are more side characters than anything, but as the author you'll get to take him and his master wherever you'd like
— his master is Ruile Hyia (an oc). Ruile is a twi-lek and her skin tone is either a pigmented purple or lightened forest green. She's well known in the Order for going off on the longest and hardest missions meaning that Anika is often left wondering if Darian will ever get to come home

— Anika nearly cries when Ahsoka is sent off to the front lines of a battle to her new master Anakin Skywalker because she's already afraid of the war and she doesn't want her best friend to die
— She also hopes that her close friend Darian would get to stay at the temple for longer than Ahsoka had, but the same hour that Ahsoka leaves Darian also leaves with his newly assigned master, Master Ruile Hyia
— the Council is not done ruining Nika's chances of surviving much less hiding from war when they assign her as the next padawan of Master Obi-Wan Kenobi

— So despite the fact that Jedi aren't supposed to express feelings much less actually have them Obi-Wan keeps Anika and Ahsoka side by side throughout most of the war because Nika becomes someone different over time alongside Ahsoka
— (also because literally everyone thinks that Obi-Wan is oblivious and can't see everyone around him falling in love-)

— Anika attempts to kindle a relationship with Ahsoka up until she meets Lux Bonteri during the Onderon arc because she finally realizes why love is a path to the dark side. Nika will go to Obi-Wan with her feelings because she trusts him to help her work through this challenge (and he does)

— then comes the time when Ahsoka Tano is known to have fallen from the light. Ahsoka supposedly murders her only witness of a case and runs, Nika is torn apart from the inside out. Of course she knows that the woman she's known since she was four is innocent and the force screams to Nika that Ahsoka is innocent as well, but no one that Anika confides in believes her and Ahsoka is soon condemned
— of course Anakin comes to Ahsoka's rescue, but when she is asked to return to the order she leaves without even seeing Anika. Darian is at the temple during this time, and even though they aren't as close as they were when they were younger he still goes to check on Anika (because girlie and Ahsoka were the only ones oblivious) and hugs her tight and promises that she'll make it through this

— the fic should include a couple chapters of the three's childhood and to set the true basis of how adorable and deep Ahsoka and Anika's connection is. whoever receives this plot can decide which episodes to include and which ones to stick Darian in however I have a couple I feel that should include them and I'll let you know which!! also original arcs or episodes would be awesome for them and if you need help coming up with stuff or working through things just ask!!
— it's a real slow burn/fighting feelings fic. I imagine Ahsoka realizing her crush sometime in season four or five but not realizing that Anika feels the same so angst and awkwardness from them for about half a  season before Ahsoka leaves

— Anika specifically: she's got a fiery tongue and is sarcastic as Ahsoka, Anakin, and Obi-Wan because all the Jedi use sarcasm as a defense mechanism apparently. She has a peacekeepers spirit though and instead of learning how to use duel sabers she goes into the medbay to learn how to take care of people making her and Ahsoka contrast there. Anika is incredibly compassionate and selfless so when she realizes her feelings for Ahsoka she goes through some self hate because how can she do that to Ahsoka. Plus when she's jealous she hates on herself because she truly doesn't blame Lux when she hasn't ever told Ahsoka how she feels. As the fic continue Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka's characters should begin to influence Nika in becoming more bold, talkative, and relaxed.

— Darian Ieve specifically: buddy isn't a main character, but he's a childhood friend of Ahsoka and Anika who's easily friends with Anakin and Obi-Wan due to his relaxed nature and fighter's spirit. He can easily look at Obi-Wan and Anakin as they sit back and wonder how oblivious Snips and Niks are and casually say "oh yeah, they were practically in love when we were all 8 or 9 and I was kinda just like 'my friends are gay and oblivious'"

— please don't change any of the names!!
— Anika is specifically Obi-Wan's padawan bc a) the council likes giving him a hard time and b) to keep her closer to Ahsoka through the war ( and c: I think it's stupid that he doesn't get another chile )

— since Anika will still be Obi-Wan's padawan in season 7/rots Ahsoka and Anika should 100% see each other again. however whether Nika goes with Ahsoka and Rex to Mandalore for those arcs or goes with Obi-Wan is up to whoever ends up writing this. As well as if Nika survives Order66
— if Nika does survive Order66 it would make an awesome sequel for Rebels AND the Mandalorian AND for Ahsoka's show promised soon!!

PASSWORDS

1) do you think that if Ahsoka had stayed at the temple that Anakin wouldn't have fallen to the dark side?
2) and based on the summary and all the plot details what color lightsaber would you give Nika and why?

PLOT BY

dorkiest_nerd
aka katie