The torment she had carried within her for so long yearned to find release, and the only man who had shown her unwavering support was the one she would share her deepest pain with. With a quivering voice, Lindsay began to speak, her words spilling forth like a waterfall of pain and vulnerability.

That night forever remained etched in her memory with unmerciful clarity. "It was long ago when I was around twelve..." she began in a voice so fragile, that the heavy pour of the rain outside was enough to shut it. However, Namjoon carefully held onto each precious word uttered by the girl bundled up in his arms.

"My family and I were on a family vacation. A cruise..." she subconsciously glanced at her hands, as the memories swept her away to a distant haze. "Everyone was so happy, laughing and chattering away. I was so excited as well. Everything seemed to be going so well."

"But then..." she clenched her eyes shut and hid her face in shame. Never had she ever loathed herself more than she had done now. Namjoon only tightened his hold on the girl's figure and whispered sweet nothingness in her ear for comfort. Soothing her jolted soul.

"My curse struck at the worst time..." she sighed, biting down at her lip hard, as more tears pooled out. "I slipped on the slippery deck, then I knocked over a tray of food and a lot of disasters happened in a domino effect and before I knew it, I was hanging off the rails of the ship, dangling above the thrashing waves below."

Namjoon gasped and felt his breath shortening at the girl's uncalled for but tragic revelation.

"Yo- You almost fell overboard in the middle of the night?" he asked, unable to believe what he was hearing. He had no idea Lindsay had to endure such a horrible memory.

"I wish it had only been me who fell overboard." she confessed bitterly, a look of hatred etched on her face. "It would have been better if I had been the one to drown! But I felt a strong hand wrap around my arm and a woman's scream echoing holding me firmly as I dangled over the waves. It was my mother."

Swallowing lumps in his throat, Namjoon patiently listened as he felt his insides twist with remorse and heavy concern.

"Turns out my mother somehow grabbed my hand in hers before I could fall over but she wasn't strong enough. Then my father panicked, fearing the thought of losing the both of us, so he held on to my mother, desperately trying to hoist the two of us up, but the weight was overbearing. All of us ended up falling in..."

Tears welled up in her eyes as she recalled the memory of the inky black ocean. Everything had happened so fast, yet the memory seemed to live on for an eternity.

"We ended up being rescued eventually by the ship's crew but... my mother didn't make it..." she sobbed, her eyes glazed over. "Her limp body was pulled under the waves. When they finally found her body, she was pale, lifeless and cold. There was no going back. The damage was done."

"I did the worst damage of my entire life." her voice cracked and tears poured out in streams.

"Oh, Lindsay..." Namjoon's heart instantly shattered into pieces as he realized just how many torments the girl had fought through. He reached out and once again, pulled her close to him and embraced her with all that he had.

He began to gently rock her back and forth in his arms, as he cradled her head in his arms. It all made sense to him now. Why Lindsay had grown to loathe herself, how she had grown to accept that she was a curse to everyone and was someone whom she thought should never be with anyone. She was trapped behind the cold steely bars of guilt and chained by the shackles of self-loathing and grief was her cellmate.

"I never got along with my father at all..." she hiccupped in between her words. "My mother was the only person who ever came close to loving me in all my life... and I took away her life. My father repulsed me even more than he ever did after that day. When I saw my mother inside that glass coffin, what I saw reflected back when I peered into it was nothing but a monster."

She gripped on tightly to Namjoon's pajama top, clinging onto it as if it was the only source of life support for her. The memory of her sweet mother's smiling face clouded her mind, reminding her of the innocent life she had ended due to her recklessness.

"Oh, Lindsay..." he murmured in a low voice, his eyes mixed with affection and remorse. "I am so sorry something so horrible happened to you and your family, and I am extremely sorry about your mother."

Lindsay's red-rimmed eyes met his for a brief moment before looking away in shame.

"I can't imagine... Just how much of that guilt you've been carrying with you all these years." Namjoon continued, absentmindedly caressing her cheek softly in rhythmic paces.

"I'm a monster, Namjoon. I killed my own mother." her voice choked with grief.

Namjoon leaned in and tucked the stray strands of hair covering her tear stained face behind her ears, before gazing again into her eyes. Lindsay gazed back and found that his eyes were filled with no judgement, no criticism. Just pure unwavering support and understanding.

Pulling back for a brief moment, Namjoon's hands came to rest gently on top of Lindsay's trembling shoulders. He cupped her wet cheeks before raising her face to meet his eyes, before using his thumb to gently brush away the fresh tears residing under her eyelashes.

"Lindsay, listen to me." he said firmly but the soft smile never leaving his face. "What happened to your mom was a tragic accident. A terrible twist of fate. You didn't mean for any of this to happen. It was a sincere accident."

Namjoon sighed to himself before taking a deep breath and continuing. "Your mom loved you so much, Lindsay. I'm sure she did." he softly squeezed her shoulder in comfort. "If she were here, she would have forgiven you. She would have understood that you didn't mean for any of this."

Lindsay silently sat on the bed, with her eyes gazing over hands together on her lap. Her sobs had subdued but the soft moonlight made the tear tracks on her face glisten.

"Above all," Namjoon went on, again raising her face to meet his eyes. "Your mother would have wanted you to forgive yourself. To heal and to let go of this burden on your life. She would have never condemned you to a life full of suffering in guilt if she were here. She would have wanted you to live your best life."

"But how?" Lindsay's voice quivered. "How could I ever begin to forgive myself?"

Sighing, Namjoon leaned in and enveloped Lindsay in a tight and warm embrace. In a moment, Lindsay was enveloped in the soothing coolness of his pajama material against her skin, the scent of his cologne and the thud of his heartbeat calming her, his arms protecting her from her worst nightmares.

"We'll find a way, Lindsay." he murmured, as he rested his chin on her head and sighed. "There is always a way. You don't have to do it alone. I promise to be with you no matter how long it would take for you to forgive yourself. Little by little, with a lot of help, I know you'll find peace."

"I hope so. Thank you... Namjoon. For everything." she breathed with her eyes closed, as she huddled in close to his embrace.

"So..." she sniffled and rubbed at her crimson nose. "Whenever I experience lightening storms or get thrown into huge bodies of water like the ocean...or a swimming pool... my traumatic memories resurface, and its almost as if I'm living the whole wretched night all over again."

Namjoon glanced at the window stained with rain droplets streaming down as they raced each other to the bottom. "I see..."

"It was why I almost lost myself when you pushed me into the pool all those years ago." she trailed on with a low sigh.

The pool?

Namjoon wondered for a moment. It took awhile but amidst the back of his memories, he hazily remembered the day when he cruelly pushed Lindsay into the swimming pool.

Upon remembering it, his face flushed with shame and felt the depth of his heart being strangled. In that moment, he felt that if there was indeed a monster in that room, it was him.

Pulling back, he met Lindsay's eyes with an expression filled with regret. "Lindsay, I had no idea." he said. He hated himself at that moment for thinking so low of Lindsay that day, and for the unacceptable deed he did. "Please forgive me for the horrible things I did to you. I can't imagine what I must have made you go through."

"You did make me go through a lot." she confirmed making Namjoon's face drop even lower, yet she gave a small comforting smile. "But it's alright. I forgive you. It's important to forgive others as much as you try to forgive yourself, right?"

"Right," he agreed with a hearty laugh. "How about we try this together?"

Lindsay looked up at him with questioning eyes.

"I am horrified with myself over how I pushed you in as you are with your...mother." he explained before continuing. "So, how about we both practice to forgive ourselves... together."

He slowly extended his hand over to her and waited for her with an expectant smile. "Shall we?"

Lindsay stared at his outstretched palm for many seconds before meeting his eyes. They were like no other, what she saw shining in the dark room. Filled with compassion, laced with understanding and overflowing with kindness. They almost seemed to overpower the gnawing monsters at her heart and his extended hand promised her trust.

Ever so hesitantly, she reached out and gently rested her hand on top of his. His fingers laced around hers together and the warmth from each other cascaded through each other's soul, offering sweet solace.

"Yes," Lindsay softly said, before rubbing at her eyes and giving a soft smile which made Namjoon's heart dance with relief and happiness.

"Great." he whispered with a smile back. "Now, I'll stay with you through the night and will protect you, okay?"

Before Lindsay could comprehend, she was being gently pulled towards Namjoon and to his chest. Namjoon shifted on the bed and laid down with Lindsay laying against him. Drawing the soft duvet over them, he enclosed the both of them in a cozy warmth.

"Get some rest, Lindsay. Everything's alright" his velvet voice soothed her, before he started to run his fingers softly through her hair. The sensation lulled the damaged girl before she let her eyelids droop and smile.

And only when he heard the girl's soft snores of slumber, did Namjoon allow himself to lean down and plant a gentle kiss on top of her hair.

In that quiet moment, as they held onto each other, the boundaries that Namjoon had so strongly let him and Lindsay once be separated melted away, replaced by a newfound connection.

A new connection, that he felt was undeniably love.

The night, once filled with nightmares, now held the promise of a beautiful beginning for their shared journey.

"I love you, Lindsay." whispered Namjoon lovingly, before he too succumbed to the world of dreams where nightmares reigned no more.

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A/N: It took Namjoon only 35 chapters to say those 3 words to Lindsay, and she didn't even hear them. :') Or did she? ;)

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Bye!