Marlene McKinnon and James Potter were dating.

Yes, you heard correctly. They were dating. Marlene Melody McKinnon and James Fleamont Potter were together since the Halloween Ball a month ago.

Even I, the author, am amused, not if a bit angry. Can't blame me, can you? I am just over-protective.

Back to, er, Jarlene, people were horrified. Let me tell you why.

Eighty percent of the people, including the staff, shipped James with Lily Evans and Marlene with Sirius Black.

Five percent shipped James with Hestia Jones.

Five percent Marlene with Benjy Fenwick.

Five percent shipped James with Marie De Lacy, a Slytherin pure-blood who liked him way too much.

Five percent shipped Marlene with Zach Kiaz, a Ravenclaw. They had dated for a very long time until Kiaz cheated on her with a Hufflepuff bitch.

Nobody shipped them, mainly because they were distant cousins. Ewww.

Talking about Hestia Jones, she didn't like James and was currently dating Jane Bell. And Marie De Lacy was still after him, but that's old news now.

Amidst all this, Lily Evans and Sirius Black appeared perfectly casual. Even close to each other. Remus Lupin seemed old as he stared at his best mate and Marlene, maybe because he was thinking why the hell should he not crawl under the floorboards and die, this was not something he ever wanted to see in his life.

Emmeline Vance and Dorcas Meadowes were often found sitting in the library, searching through encyclopedias full of jinxes and hexes and whispering in low voices.

Alice Fortescue was simply dead from shock. She gawked at Marlene, Lily, Sirius and James and was probably still here at Hogwarts due to her boyfriend, Frank Longbottom, who kept her from running away.

Peter Pettigrew only cared about his precious cheese. Half of the world would die and he wouldn't even notice when he was with cheese.

I think that you readers are probably gaping at your screens right now. Fortunately, and unfortunately, your eyes are perfectly fine and you do not need an eye-specialist. Yet.

Currently, in the common room, Marlene and James were sucking faces.

That just couldn't be described as kissing. Trust me, the younger students were traumatised.

Arabella Brown 'calmly' told her younger brother, Dave Brown, to go out and have some fresh air as she once again started lecturing her younger sister, Ruby Brown, about how she should not pay attention to these people. Siblings and relatives do not date.

Dorcas couldn't help but snicker at this. Emmeline gave her a warning look, which only made her laugh harder.

"Hey, Evans," Sirius said. Lily looked up from her book Pride and Prejudice to look at him.

"How about a date in Hogsmead?"

This caused James to tear his face away from Marlene's to stare at his best mate in horror.

"You know what, Black?" Lily said thoughtfully. "I am seriously considering that. I mean, you are still ugly but not quite as ugly as last year."

Sirius snorted. "I'm never ugly, Evans," he said.

"Apart from that time last year when you had magical acne," Remus supplied, his voice as dry as a desert during a hot summer afternoon.

Sirius's whole face burned red and the others laughed. He glared at a very smug James.

"I seriously hate you."

His words sunk in.

"Did you just...not make a pun?" Dorcas said, her mouth hanging open.

"Which meant that he was really serious when he said that," Remus said.

"You hate your best mate for giving you acne? I have done worse things!" James said, shocked. Sirius smiled, but there was no amusement in it, it was cold and horrible. He had never looked more like a Black in his life. His eyes were cold.

"You have done worse things, James," he said, putting emphasis on James's real name.

Silence. Awkward silence crept in. Emmeline shifted uncomfortably: she hated awkward silences.

"Erm, Padfoot, there's this prank I've been planning on Mrs Norris! Cone here!" Remus stood up and wisely dragged Sirius out of the common room.

"Behold, Remus Lupin the Lifesaver," Dorcas muttered. "May The Highness live long."

"May he live long," Emmeline agreed.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Date me."

"Excuse me?" Lily said sharply. She glared at Sirius, who looked extrememly, well, serious.

"Fake, Evans. It'd be fake." Sirius swiped his finger over a word written on his parchment in his calligraphic handwriting:

Fake

Lily's brow furrowed and she waited for an explanation. Sirius sighed.

"You know, Evans," he said, rolling his eyes, "for a bird who's supposed to be clever, you are terribly slow. We date for fake, make them jealous and then break them up, then we date them. Simple!"

"That's actually a nice plan," Lily said thoughtfully.

"Only nice?" Sirius protested.

"Fine. Amazing." Lily rolled her eyes.

"Better," Sirius smiled.

"You are on, Black. Let's give them a taste of their own medicine," Lily smiled evilly. They hi-fived, looking more evil than ever.

A first-year actually fled from the library, driven out by fear of 'the two good-looking monsters in there'.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

So when they arrived at dinner, hand-in-hand and beaming, all hell broke loose.

"NEVER!" A Ravenclaw screamed in horror.

"IMPOSSIBLE!" Professor Victor, the arithmancy teacher, shouted.

"YOU LOST ME MY TEN GALLEONS!" A Hufflepuff accused as she handed her girlfriend ten galleons.

Minerva McGonagall pushed her plate of food aside and held her head in her hands. She looked like someone who was seriously considering pursuing a career in some other field, which was definitely not teaching.

"Gryffindor was such a delightful house to head before these people were sorted in," she mumbled.

Sirius grinned jovially.

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" He said loudly. "May I introduce my girlfriend, LILY IVANNA EVANS!"

No cheers. Just silence.

There was a shuffling sound of wood against the floor as James pushed his chair back. He stood up slowly, hazel eyes narrowed to slits and no golden or green left in them.

Slowly, he bent down and stared into Lily's eyes, ignoring Sirius and everyone else.

"You succedeed," was all he whispered before kissing her long and hard in front if the whole Great Hall.

Marlene pulled Sirius to kiss him and she muttered, "you seriously thought I'd like that duffer?"

"No," Sirius chuckled merrily.

Amidst all this, Peter, Alice, Frank, Emmeline and Dorcas handed Remus ten galleons each.

Smiling casually, Remus took out his wallet and stuffed his fifty galleons in.

Moral of the lesson? Never ever bet with Remus John Lupin, especially when it's about Jily/Lames/Flowerpot/Jamily or Blackinnon/Marius.

A/N: 1100 words and not so happy. I mean, sneaky and weird and all but still..take care and stay safe.

Love,
Aurora:)